


Sanders Sides One Shots/shorts

by jxywritesstuff



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gen, Implied Smut, M/M, Multi, Tentacles, one shots, snake - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:13:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 87
Words: 100,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23484382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jxywritesstuff/pseuds/jxywritesstuff
Summary: Just another book of one-shots! Not updated regularly because I have restricted access to Ao3.... find the better, more updated version at https://www.quotev.com/story/12392137/Sanders-Sides-One-Shots ! All of these are mine. Mostly Prinxiety.... yeah.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Creativity | Roman Sanders/Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 21
Kudos: 132





	1. My Stuff

Hi people and welcome to my extremely crappy one shot book! All suggestions are welcome and appreciated! All swears will be censored (unless you count hell, damn and ass as swears)so ya 🙂. most of these(at least half) are prinxiety soo if you don’t ship that... sorry. Most are fluffy as well seeing as how I definetly can’t write angst or smut very well. Also NO HOMOPHOBES ALLOWED LITERALLY ALL THESE ONE SHOTS WILL BE GAY AS HELL.

Things I don’t ship and therefore will not write

Remciet

Emceit

Any Thomas ships 

Any Patton ships other than Logicality, Moceit, LAMP, DLAMP, and (all x all)

Here’s a list of the ships I think I write best:

Prinxiety

Logicality

Analogical

Logince

Demus/Dukeceit(if they’re already dating)

Intrulogical

Maybe Intruloceit but only if they’re already dating? Idk

OTPs(as in I prefer to write these):

Prinxiety

Logince

Intrulogical

Intrulogince

Dukeceit

Intruloceit

Intruloceitgince

Remile

Logicality

Loceit

Anxceit

Roceit

I’ll add more once I become a better writer(which won’t happen anytime soon lol) I try to post at least twice a week. TAKE IT EASY, GUYS, GALS, AND NON-BINARY PALS!

peace out!


	2. Spaghetti Kiss(Prinxiety w/ background Logicality)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil and Roman go with Logan and Patton to the mindscape to celebrate father's day. They end up going to an Italian restaurant. Soon, something goes wrong....  
> THIS IS MY FIRST-EVER ONE SHOT. IT IS NOT GOOD.

Virgil followed Patton, Roman, and Logan as they walked the streets of Miami looking for a place to eat. He sighed. He would rather be in his room, listening to Panic! At The Disco, and scrolling through Tumblr than going out to dinner for Father’s Day. He loved Patton as a friend, but he despised being forced to socialize or go out in public, even if it was all in the mindscape.

“The Great Impasta.” Roman read the sign in front of another restaurant. 

“‘Impasta’ is not a word.” Logan noted. 

“OH MY GOSH ITS A DAD JOKE WE HAVE TO EAT HERE!!!!!” Patton squealed. 

Logan frowned. “Did you imagine this restaurant just for this occasion?”

“Maybe.” Patton batted his eyelashes. Virgil could’ve sworn he saw the logical sides face turn pink. 

Roman sighed. “Everyone up for Italian?” 

The other sides chimed their agreement and trailed Roman into the restaurant. Virgil sighed and followed. 

He entered, taking a glance at the striped yellow wallpaper, burning candles, red tablecloths, and fairy lights. Sitting down next to Roman, Virgil read the menu. No surprise, the food served at The Great Impasta was mostly spaghetti and lasagna. Literally everything on the menu except for the drinks and the chocolate cake had some kind of pasta in it. 

“Hello, I’ll be taking care of you today.” A waitress said, coming to the table. “What would you like to eat?” 

“I’d like the double spaghetti plate, please!” Patton chirped. 

“Very well. That serves two, are you going to share it with anyone else?” 

“Er... Logan, do you want to share?” Patton turned to the side sitting next to him. 

Logan’s face turned scarlet. “I-I suppose that would be satisfactory.”

“I ship it.” Roman whispered to Virgil. Virgil nodded. Logan’s face turned even redder at Patton’s giggle. 

“And for you?” The waitress turned to Roman after making a note in her pad. 

To Virgils surprise, Roman said, “I’ll have the same thing.”

The waitress nodded. “Sharing with him?” She pointed at Virgil. 

Virgil gulped. He hated being put on the spot. His anxiety kicked in. He couldn’t force any words out of his mouth, so he just nodded. 

The waitress took his order and walked away. 

“Er- sorry, did you not want that?” Roman asked, looking at the anxious side. 

“Oh, I don’t care what I get. It all looks good.” Virgil said offhandedly, trying to ignore the fact that his face was warm. “I was just anxious.”

Patton giggled. “Did you just make a dad joke?” 

“Er- sure, whatever you say, Pop Star.”

“I love my dark strange son.” Patton whispered, tearing up and grabbing Logan’s arm. Logan’s face turned red again. “Oh no... feelings.”

The waitress soon come back, balancing a huge plate of spaghetti topped with meat sauce on each hand. She placed one in front of Patton and Logan, and one in front of Virgil and Roman. “Enjoy!” she said. 

Roman grabbed a fork and twisted a strand of spaghetti on it, shoving it in his mouth. his eyes grew huge. “Virgil, you have to try it! It’s so good!” 

Virgil tentatively forked some noodles into his mouth. It was good. He continued to eat, watching Patton flirt with Logan and Logan make multiple Microsoft error noises. He slurped another strand of spaghetti, not realizing that his face was turning towards his right....

He faced Roman just as their lips met, both connected to the same strand of spaghetti. Instantly Roman’s face turned crimson. In the one millisecond their lips were connected, Virgil felt a waterfall of emotions. Time seemed to stop. The only thing Virgil could see was Roman’s face. His brown eyes, his red cheeks. Every line and curve. His purple bangs falling into his face. Virgil felt warmer than then he had ever felt in his whole life. The flood of emotions inside of him seemed to slowly make sense. 

Their lips broke apart as Logan and Patton stared at them. Virgil panicked. with a jolt, he instinctively teleported to his room. He curled up into a ball and let his feelings flow out of him in tears and sobs. 

There was a knock on the door. “Virgil? Can I come in?”

Virgil didn’t respond. he heard the door open, and through his bangs and tears he saw Roman’s concerned face. 

“Virgil, I-I’m so, so sorry. I would say I didn’t mean to do it, but that would be a lie.” Roman sat down next to Virgil. 

“Did someone say my name- I mean, that’s totally not my name!” Virgil recognized the voice of Deceit and hissed. 

“Get out Deceit.” Roman threatened, summoning his sword. 

“Fun.” Deceit grumbled, walking away. 

“As I was saying before Snake-face showed up, I-I would be lying if I said it was an accident. Because, Virgil- I-I love you. More than a friend... more than anything. I hope you don’t-don’t hate m-me.” Roman said, choking on his emotions. 

Quiet sobs racked Virgil’s body. “I-I didn’t think-“

“What?” Roman said softly, his voice full of hope. “You can tell me, I promise I won’t laugh.” 

Virgil took a shaky breath. “I didn’t think I could... feel anything. But when you kissed me.. I just felt so many feelings, all at once. I thought I could only experience sadness, frustration, anger, and panic.... only dark emotions, but.. I felt happiness, and joy, and... even...... “

“Love.” Roman and Virgil said at the same time. Virgil took a deep breath and raised his head. Suddenly he grabbed Princey by the sash and connected their lips once again. Tears streamed down both side’s faces as Roman put his hands on Virgil’s cheeks. Virgil pulled him into an embrace and rested his head on his shoulder. “I love you.” he whispered. 

“Will you be my chemically imbalanced romance?” Roman asked, putting his hands on Virgils hips. 

“Y-yes.” Virgil choked, pulling his boyfriend in for another kiss.

“Aww! You guys are so cute!” Patton squealed. Virgil immediately jumped away from Roman. 

“Ha. When will you and Logan start dating?” Roman asked. “I mean, it’s really obvious that you like each other.”

“Like really.” Virgil put in. 

“Well-“ Patton blushed. 

“Right now.” Logan interrupted, running to Patton, grabbing his sweatshirt, and kissing him full on the lips. Patton’s face turned beet red.


	3. Error (Logicality w/ background Prinxiety)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan is beginning to react oddly to normal conversation. He is beginning to... feel strange things towards Patton.

Patton slipped a mitt over his hand and opened the oven, grabbing a tray of chocolate-chip goodies. “Hey kiddos, who wants-”   
Roman immediately appeared and grabbed a cookie, obviously not caring about their scalding temperature. “Thanks Patton.”   
“You’re welcome kiddo! I guess you could say I’m just trying to bake your day better.”

Roman snorted.   
“Oh these cookies don’t look good. I’m not sure I want one.” Deceit said, appearing out of nowhere and reaching for the tray.   
“Hey! Those cookies aren’t for you.” Roman slapped his hand.   
“Totally cool.” Deceit hissed sarcastically.   
“Roman, let him have one.” Patton said. “These are for all my kiddos!”

“Let him have what?” Remus said, popping up from behind the couch.   
“A cookie.”   
“Oh, I thought you meant something els-“ he was cut off by Virgil appearing and throwing a cookie at him.   
“Eat that instead of talking.” He hissed.   
The Duke sank out, muttering what sounded like “poopy”. Virgil sighed and grabbed a cookie. “Why is he here?” he asked, pointing to Deceit.   
“My cookies are for all my kiddos.” Patton said 

“Welp, I’m not done here.” Deceit said, grabbing another cookie and sinking out.   
The fanciful side shrugged. “Well, he’s gone. Where’s Microsoft Nerd?”   
“I think he’s in his room studying.” Virgil answered.   
“I’ll bring him a cookie!” Patton said, grabbing two of the still-hot desserts and running up the stairs of the mind palace. 

~•Logan’s POV•~

“It just doesn’t make sense!” Logan muttered to himself, scrapping the graph on his laptop and starting with a figurative “blank slate”. He located the origin and moved along the X-axis, locating his first point 

He had just started recalculating the variables when there was a knock on the door. “Come in.” Logan said, readjusting his glasses.   
“Kiddo! I brought you a cookie!” Patton said, stepping into Logan’s bookshelf-filled, well-organized room.   
“Ah. The sugary desserts filled with chocolate morsels. Yes, I suppose that would be satisfactory.” Logan said, swiveling his chair around. Patton handed him a cookie. ”What’s up?”

Logan glanced upwards. “Well... the ceiling fan, the light, the-“

“Figuratively. What are you working on, kiddo? You usually come right down when Roman calls you ‘Microsoft Nerd’.”  
“Thomas is thinking of ideas for Sanders Sides videos, which means he is thinking about feelings. Of course, I have no choice but to join in on his thoughts, seeing as I am his logic. Currently, I am attempting to calculate the scientific formula concerning the chemical reaction in the human brain- specifically Thomas’s brain- that causes him to feel emotions. My attempts haven’t been successful thus far, as feelings are difficult-maybe impossible-to fully understand. They also happen to be the bane of my existence, one of the few things I can’t understand.”   
“But that’s because feelings aren’t meant to be understood, kiddo! Sometimes you just have to go with the flow.”   
“I do not see any liquid to be creating this ‘flow’ so I assume it’s a figure of speech?” Logan frowned as Patton nodded. “In that case, i would like to see where this figurative ‘flow’ is taking me, before I plunge over a figurative waterfall.”

“WAS THAT A DAD JOKE?!”

“Of course not!... intentionally.” Logan muttered, cursing himself for making a pun.   
“I still count it as a joke, son!” Patton smiled. “Do you want another cookie?”   
“...I suppose that would be fine.” Logan said, wanting another but not wanting to admit that he liked the chocolate desserts.   
Patton went downstairs to grab another and Logan sat in his chair, dumbfounded. Why am I reacting this way to an everyday conversation? 

-oh look a time skip-

“Movie night!” Patton squealed, curling up on the couch with a pile of blankets. “Whose turn is it to choose?”

Logan sat on the couch beside him, grabbed a jar of Crofter’s, and sighed. this will be a long night....

“Unfortunately, it’s Princey’s turn to pick the movie.” Virgil grumbled. 

“Finally! Beauty and the Beaaast!!” Roman sung, grabbing his favorite Disney film off of their movie shelf. 

“Ugh, why are none of these Disney movies gay?” Virgil complained.

Thomas’s creativity stared at Anxiety. “You’re gay?”

“Well duh, your most idiotic majesty. I’m part of Thomas. We all are, therefore we’re all gay.” Virgil hissed.   
“Ooooooh, looks like someone has a cruuuush!” The Duke said in a sing-song voice.

“Shut up, Dukey!” Roman turned to his brother and snarled.

“I’m just saying....” Remus wiggled his eyebrows. 

Roman’s face reddened even more. “We are not in love!”

“Oh, totally not!” Deceit popped up out of nowhere. Roman’s face became as red as the sash on his chest. Logan could see scattered patches of pink under Virgil’s white foundation.

”Seriously? Why do you always show up?” Virgil snapped at Deceit and Remus. 

“Maybe we just want to watch the movie!” The Duke opened his eyes innocently. 

“Let them stay if they want to...” Patton said reluctantly.

Roman turned to Patton. “Seriously? You’re siding with them?”

“I just don’t wanna be mean...” Patton murmured. 

“Well it’s not-“

“Falsehood!” Logan snapped, causing them both to look at him as he pried the lid off his jam. “They can stay if they want to watch Beauty and the Beast...”

“Aaaaaaaand I’m out.” Remus said. “If it’s something my brother likes, it’s not worth watching.”

“Sounds interesting and worth my time.” Deceit said, disappearing from the mindscape. 

Roman stared at him. “The best way to make something go away is to show them that you don’t care about their impact.” Logan explained, spooning strawberry jam into his mouth. 

“I hate to admit it, but... I guess that’s actually kinda helpful.” Roman grumbled. 

Logan stared at him, stunned. 

“Let’s just start the movie.” Virgil said. 

“Good idea.” Patton agreed, taking ‘Beauty and the Beast’ out of Roman‘s hands and popping it in the disk player. 

|~•Time Skip Brought to You by me being lazy•~|

Logan stared at the TV screen, bored. He was thinking about the ratio of parts to Rubix cubes in his room when he heard a small whimper. Patton was staring at the movie, watching Gaston swear to kill the Beast, whom had just figuratively stolen Belle’s heart.

“Patton.... are you satisfactory?” Logan asked tentatively. 

He nodded, rubbing his eyes under his glasses. “I-I guess...” 

“Falsehood.” Logan said, sitting up and straightening his glasses. “Are you feeling sad about the movie?” 

“I-it’s just..... I don’t want the-the Beast to die!” Patton sobbed, clutching his blankets.   
Logan sighed. “Patton, how many times have you seen this movie?”

“Fi-five.”

“In those five times you’ve watched it, how many times did the Beast die?”

“Um... “

“None.” Logan said, moving to sit closer to Morality, hoping to provide some sort of comfort. He sat next to him and Patton placed his arm around Logan’s shoulder. “Oh no... feelings.” Logan muttered, pulling a blanket around himself. Patton responded by moving closer to Logan. “Th-thanks, kiddo.” he said, wiping the tears from his eyes. 

“It’s quite all right.” Logan murmured, unsure whether to pull away or figuratively ‘go with the flow, as Patton has suggested earlier. 

The credits rolled and suddenly Logan noticed that he was the only one awake. Virgil and Roman had both curled up on the mattress and closed their eyes. Somehow they had ended up sharing a blanket and hugging each other. And Patton had fallen asleep on Logan’s shoulder, his purple hair fluttering in the breeze of the fan. Suddenly Logan seemed to notice how warm he was, and self-consciously wondered how many times he had ever felt this comfortable touching another person. He wanted this moment to stretch out for eternity, even though he knew that was not scientifically possible. For once, Logan felt unsure of his actions as he wrapped his arm around the sleeping Patton’s shoulders.

Logan let a rare smile show on his face. On impulse, something he rarely listened to, he leaned his own head on top of Patton’s and spread the blanket he was using over the both of them.


	4. Problem(Analogical)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Logan's opinion, the human brain is flawed because of errors otherwise known as feelings. Can Virgil show him that sometimes, feelings can be good?

Warning: God’s name will be used in vain here. 

Logan lay on his bed, contemplating the human brain.   
Sure, it was the strongest brain on Earth, but it had too many flaws. chinks in the armor. Loopholes. The human brain had too many feelings.

There was nothing wrong with Patton, or the way he contributed to Thomas. He had learned that from the Sanders Sides videos he had been in. In fact, Logan had been the problem. 

But whenever Patton talked about feelings, Logan didn’t get it. He had never felt much of anything before. He was logic. His only purpose was to make sense of the world. So why didn’t he understand feelings?

Loan knew that Patton would tell him that the world wasn’t a book. Nothing was supposed to fit exactly into place. Patton would tell them all that feelings were what made humans the most intelligent species on Earth, Because feelings were what brought people together in the first place. 

But Logan knew that feelings were just chemical reactions in the brain. So when he started having fluttery sensations in his stomach, Logan passed it off as some sort of illness or allergic reaction. 

Why did the human brain have to be so difficult? 

Even if you were the embodiment of knowledge, even if you were literally logic, you still felt things. You associated emotions like happiness and love with certain tidbits of knowledge. For example, Thomas had always associated the pride flag and his knowledge of himself being gay with love, and certain... other things as forbidden(Cough Remus cough). 

Logan has no choice but to feel those things too. 

But how can you be the solution if you’re also the problem? Why are different aspects of the brain so similar if they all represented different things?

Again the answer came to him after a minute of thinking: it was because they were all a part of the same brain. 

Thomas was so extroverted and full of feelings and thoughts that all the different facets of his personality spilled into each other. After all, they were all part of the same figurative crystal: Thomas. 

Lol I made the mistake of listening to Dead Mom(Beetlejuice), Stay Alive Reprise, and It’s Quiet Uptown(both Hamilton) all after one another and now I’m sobbing 

Logan felt a wetness on his cheek, breaking his train of thought. He reached up and felt a tear drip down his cheek. Shock. 

He had never felt anything so strong. 

Instantly he got up and dashed out into the hallway, looking at the three other doors. Surprisingly Virgil’s was the only door that was cracked open. Faint humming could be heard from the room. Cautiously Logan opened the door. Instantly he saw Virgil sitting on his bed, headphones in, humming what sounded like “I’m not okay(I promise)” 

Suddenly Logan felt a burst of emotions, happiness and confusion and nervousness and something else that he didn’t know. His stomach figuratively turned circles inside his body. Suddenly his face felt like it was on fire. Another tear escaped his eye and he blinked it away hurriedly. Quickly he left the room as if he had never been there, and pressed his forehead against the wall. Somehow the cool solidness of the wall calmed him down. Slowly he took a breath to collect himself and slowly knocked on the door to Virgils room. 

A few seconds later, Virgil opened the door and looked at Logan, confused. “Logan? Are those tears? Are you okay?”

Instantly Logan noticed things he hadn’t before, like the way Virgil’s purple bangs hid his beautiful brown eyes and his eyeshadow and his perfectly shaped face and the way he swung his arms when he walked and how cute he was and why had he never noticed? Suddenly Logan felt a desire to grab Virgil’s face, his perfect, perfect face, and kiss his lips so hard because that was what he had wanted for as long as he could remember. 

What? No! I-I why are my thoughts going so fast what is wrong with me why do I feel so many things at once?!!

“No-nothing Virgil. I am satisfactory.”

“No you aren’t.” Virgil grabbed Logan’s arm and pulled him into his room. Logan’s heart figuratively exploded in his chest, but he didn’t resist as Virgil sat him on the bed. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I-I feel-“ Logan’s words were all a jumble. 

“You feel?” Virgil said. “I thought you couldn’t!” There was a hint of something in his voice... maybe contempt or even hope?

Logan took a shaky breath. “Contrary to popular belief, it seems I can... feel things.” 

“Like what?” Virgil pushed. 

“I-if I told you, you’d hate me.” Logan admitted. Why did I tell him that? 

“I could never hate you. I swear.”

Logan could stand it no longer. Impulsively he moved his lips forward and pressed them to Virgil’s for a millisecond, then just as quickly backed away. What did I just do? He thought, panicking. He stood up and started to bolt out of the room, tears streaming out of his eyes, when Virgil grabbed his arm

Virgil stood and spun Logan into a passionate kiss. Logan’s face was burning hot but he melted into the kiss, placing his hand on Virgil’s cheek. It was as hot as his. Virgil pulled Logan closer and put his hand in his hair. Logan felt the most intense feeling he had ever felt: burning, passionate love. He loved Virgil because he was so caring and so... well... like himself. He was critical and stern on the outside, but if you dig deeper you would find Virgil as his best self, the kind of person who would do this. 

Eventually they broke apart. Tears of happiness streamed down both side’s faces. “My god, do you know how long I’ve been waiting for that?”

Logan blinked in surprise. “Love me-you?”

“Of course I love you, dork! would I do that to a person I didn’t love?” Virgil said, pulling Logan into a hug. Logan rested his head on his shoulder and sighed, closing the distance between them.


	5. Crofter’s Brings Us Together(Logicality)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logicality, Prinxiety, and Demus are a thing.... what will happen when Thomas finds out?  
> TW: Food mentions

“Logan!” Patton whispered, rolling over in the bed and tapping his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Are you awake?”

“Affirmative.” Logan said, rolling over and giving Patton a small kiss on the cheek. “Is it time for breakfast?”

“I need to get up and make it. I just didn’t want you to be worried because I was gone when you woke up.” Patron said, getting out of bed, still in his cat onesie. 

“I’ll help.” Logan said, getting out of bed. He flipped the hood of his unicorn onesie up and opened the door. Patton gave Logan a kiss on the lips, making him blush. 

“A unicorn making out with a cat.” Virgil grumbled, walking by in his skeleton onesie. “Just what I needed to start my day.”

“Don’t pretend you and Roman are any different!” Logan pointed out, hugging Patton tighter. 

“Virgil, where are you-?!” Roman ran past them in his beast onesie. 

Patton sighed happily and let go of Logan, walking down the stairs to the kitchen. Logan followed just in time to see Roman and Virgil break apart. “See? This is what I mean!” Logan said, pointing to Virgil’s blushing face. 

“Shut up, Microsoft Nerd.” Virgil grunted. 

Logan quickly pulled out his vocabulary cards and flipped through them until he found the one he beloved would be the best to use. “No u.” He said, showing the card to Virgil. “Was that the correct usage?” He turned to Patton, who snorted. 

Virgil smacked his hand on his forehead. “Why do I bother?”

Logan smiled and opened a cabinet, grabbing a jar of Crofter’s Jam. He sat down at the table, where Patton had grabbed some Raisin Bran and was about to pour it. 

Logan grabbed his hand. “It is a fact unknown to many that Raisin Bran has twice as much grams of sugar per serving than Honey Nut Cheerios.”

“Really?” Patton looked at the nutrition facts on the side of the panel and saw that there were 21 grams of sugar in every cup of the supposedly ’healthy’ cereal. 

“Now Crofter’s, on the other hand....” Logan pointed to the eight grams of sugar per serving. Patton giggled. “Is this your plan to get me to eat Crofter’s?” 

“No, it’s my plan to get you to share Crofter’s with me.” Logan said, grabbing two spoons and handing one to Patton.

“Share it?” Patton asked. 

“Is that not what people who are dating do?” Logan asked,, suddenly self conscious.

“You’re so cute.” Patton smiled.

“Aww, thank-“ Logan started.

Suddenly music started to play. “I am the left brain, I am the left brain. Work hard til my inevitable death br-“

Logan sighed. “Remus, why don’t you go bother your brother or something?”

The Duke smiled, grabbing a bar of deodorant. “Just here for breakfast. It’s more fun to hear Roman yell.” 

“Hey!” Roman shouted from the couch, where he had started watching The Lion King. Remus smiled and offered him deodorant. “Seconds, anyone?” 

Virgil hissed at Remus and hugged Roman tighter. “Shut up, Dukey.” Roman growled, stroking Virgil’s hair.

“Ooooh. The light prince and the dark prince!” Remus squealed. “Roman, are you going to-“

Roman sighed. “It’s the same with you and Deceit. Don’t even try to deny it,” he added when Remus opened his mouth to protest. “I’ve seen you two. It’s obvious.”

“No!” Deceit, said, popping up out of nowhere 

Logan sighed, popping open the lid to the jar of Crofter’s. “That was an obvious lie.”

Both Remus and Deceit’s faces turned red as they sunk out. 

Logan scooped a spoonful of strawberry jam and stuck it in his mouth, savoring the taste. Patton smiled and spooned some into his mouth as well. A bit dropped onto his cat onesie. “Oops.”

Logan dipped his finger in the jam and smeared a little on his shoulder. “Now we match.”

“Aww, than-“

Suddenly a voice rang through the mindscape. “WHAT is up everybody? Today we’re going to talk about...”

“you know what that means.” Patton sighed. I’ll go change. 

“I’ll come-“ Logan was inturrupted by Thomas’s call. “Logan?”

Instantly he rose out of the mindscape into Thomas’s living room. “I can explain.” Logan said, his face red as the camera pointed at his jam-stained unicorn onesie. 

“No need. Patton?” 

Patton rose up, still in his cat onesie. Thomas’s face creased. “Wait- why do you both have jam on your onesies?”

“Er- Virgil! Roman!” Logan summoned the other two to take Thomas’s attention away from his attire. Unfortunately, the two of them were still embracing and wrapped in a blanket. 

“No way.” Thomas stared at them, blinking in astonishment. “Is Prinxiety real?”

“N-no!” Virgil squeaked, jumping into his spot. He snapped his fingers and instantly he had makeup and a hoodie on. 

“He’s lying.” Deceit said, rising up. 

“Argh! Why are you here?” Thomas snapped, backing away. 

Deceit shrugged. “I’m summoned whenever one of the other sides lies.” He eyed Virgil.

“Easy for you to say, Dr. Trickle and Mr. Lies.” Roman snapped, changing into his prince outfit. 

“Oh, shut up, bro!” Remus appeared with another bar of deodorant. “Even the fanders know that you’re dating.”

Virgil’s face reddened. “Don’t forget they also know about you and Deceit.” He retorted. Remus’s face turned pink and the human side of Deceit was blushing. “No!” Deceit exclaimed.

“He’s lying.” Logan pointed to Deceit.

“Well they also know about Logicality.” Deceit turned to Patton, who was blushing. 

“Wait wait wait..... let me get this straight.” Thomas held his head in his hands.

“Good luck with that.” Everyone in the room besides Thomas muttered simultaneously.

“You are dating.” Thomas pointed to Virgil and Roman, who were blushing like mad. “You two are dating.” He looked at Deceit and Remus. “And you are dating.” He eyed Logan and Patton. 

Logan sighed. “Affirmative.” He said reluctantly. 

“Prinxiety, Logicality, and Demus... Are you telling me I’m so fricking gay that the different aspects of my personality are dating each other?” Thomas exploded. 

“Either that or you’re crazy, which is very much possible.” muttered Joan from behind the camera. 

“Well now I’m thoroughly confused. I-I- you know what? Until next time, guys, gals and non-binary pals!” Thomas said, shaking his head. Joan turned off the camera.


	6. Soulmates(Prinxiety w/ background Logicality)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil works in a coffee shop with his best friend Patton. Every day goes by as the next, until one day, a special someone comes in to order coffee. Now that Patton has a soulmate, will Virgil ever find his?  
> This is set in a world where the place on your skin that will first touch your soulmate is black, but turns colorful after you touch them.

Virgil opened his eyes, wincing at the blare of his alarm clock. Quickly he got out of bed, throwing the covers to the side. He had to get to his summer job at the local coffee shop, The Smol Bean(fight me:). It was already seven o-clock, and his shift started in less that thirty minutes. He threw on some clothes and brushed back his hair, pausing for a moment to look at the black spot on his cheek. Unlike most people, his soulmate mark was on his face, which probably meant that his soulmate would slap him in the face when he first met him. 

Virgil grabbed his headphones and phone, tucked them in his sweatshirt pocket, and ran out the door.

He walked into the Smol Bean inconspicuously, blending in with the people walking in to get coffee. Quickly he ducked into a doorway marked “employees only” and draped an apron over his neck. He clipped his tag on with the logo of the coffee shop and walked into the kitchen. 

“Hey kiddo!” A voice squealed. Virgil smiled as he marked a cup with a customer name. “Hey Patton.”

“How ya doin?” Patton said, taking the cup from Virgil and passing it along for another worker to fill it with coffee. His soulmate mark was on the tip of his pointer finger.

“Fine.”

“Hello, may I take your order?” Patron asked a customer, smiling. It was a guy with glasses and a necktie standing next to another teen with an odd outfit that made him look like he was from a Disney movie. 

“I’ll have a black coffee.” The guy with glasses said. 

The person in the prince costume looked at the menu for a moment. “I’ll have a chai.”

Virgil label the cups and passed them on to Patton. “Your orders will be right over there, sirs.” He mumbled. They nodded and went over to the pick up counter. 

There was nobody else in line, so Virgil took the chai cup from Patton and sprinkled allspice on it, stirring it with a cinnamon stick. He slid the cup to Patton, who handed it to the boy in the prince costume. “Here ya go!”

Patton grabbed the black coffee, and handed it to the guy with the necktie. “Your order...” he stiffened.

“Patton? Are you ok?” Virgil rushed over to his friend.  
The boy in the necktie looked at his own hand in shock. “I-I-“ he stuttered, nearly dropping his coffee. 

Patton squealed, looking at his finger. Virgil gasped when he saw that the black mark on his skin was fading. “You’re my soulmate!” He exclaimed, looking at the boy in the necktie, who was still staring at the fading black mark on his hand. “It appears so.” He said, as if he was a robot. 

“Lucky!” The prince grabbed the boy’s hand and looked at it. “I haven’t found mine yet.”

“Eeeee!” Patton squealed.

The boy in the necktie’s face turned red. He cleared his throat. “I suppose the first step would be to introduce myself. I am Logan.”

“I’m Patton!” Patton looked at Logan warmly. 

Virgil held out his hand. “Virgil” he said. 

Instead of Logan shaking his hand like he wanted to do, the prince dude grabbed Virgil’s hand with one of his own gloved hands and smirked. “Roman.” He said, shaking it vigorously.

\- Oh look a time skip cause the authors lazy -

Virgil followed Patton, Logan, and Roman out of Smol Bean. Patton was talking to Logan about puppies and Logan was just standing there, listening to him and probably struggling to process all this. 

“So how did you and Patton become friends?” Roman turned around and asked Virgil. 

Virgil flinched a little, he wasn’t used to people actually wanting to talk to him. “Er- we’ve been friends for a long time. We met in middle school.”

“Cool.” Roman fell in beside Virgil. Why is he so... interested in me if we’ve never met?

“I can’t help but notice that your soulmate mark is on your cheek.” Roman said. 

Virgil snorted. “No shizz.”

“Mine is on my ankle,” Roman continued, “which probably means I’ll unknowingly trip my soulmate when I first meet them.”

“My soulmate will probably slap me in the face.” Virgil said, letting out a rare laugh. 

Logan stopped in front of a dorm and opened it. Patton followed them inside. “Me and Logan are roommates.” Roman explained. “I think I’ll let them be in there.”

“Yeah.” Virgil said, watching Patton close the door. 

“So.” Roman drummed his fingers in his knee. He took his gloves off and started walking. “Where are you going?” Virgil asked, jogging a few feet to catch up.

“Wherever destiny takes me!” Roman said, looking heroically into the distance. Virgil couldn’t help but notice the way the sun shined onto Roman’s face and body, like a spotlight. Virgil looked at Roman’s bangs, falling naturally onto his face. He just looked so...

What is happening to me?

“Is this why you dress like a prince?” Virgil asked dryly. 

“Well I was also supposed to have a theater rehearsal today, but the Performance Hall had some sort of plumbing issue.” Roman said. 

Virgil modded, trying to ignore the fact that his face was a little warm. He shoved his hands into his hoodie pockets and kept walking. He didn’t notice that there was a small curb ahead of him. 

~Roman’s POV~

“Virgil! Watch ou-“ Roman exclaimed suddenly. But it was to no avail(ooh big words). Virgil didn’t hear him in time and stumbled over the curb, nearly falling to the ground. Roman’s hand wasn’t close enough to catch him, so on impulse he stuck out his leg to try to stop Virgil’s fall. Virgil landed on his knees and Roman’s swift move missed its mark, and his pant leg came up a little bit, revealing the small black spot on his ankle. 

Virgil’s head still came towards the ground a little with the force of impact(this is not scientifically correct), inevitability brushing Roman’s foot. 

More specifically, his ankle. 

And Virgil’s cheek. 

Roman instantly felt a jolt travel through his leg up to his heart, and he gasped, looking at Virgil in astonishment. Virgil was on his knees on the ground, touching his cheek and looking up at Roman. “What in the...” he muttered. 

Roman offered him a hand and Virgil took it, letting him pull him up. “Are you ok?” Roman asked, concerned. 

“Did you feel that?” Virgil whispered, stumbling and nearly falling. 

Without answering, Roman grabbed Virgil’s hand to stop him from falling and yanked him off of the sidewalk into a nearby alley. “Roman...” Virgil whispered, taking his other hand. 

Roman gently pushed Virgil against the wall, pressing his lips against Virgil’s. Virgil melted into the kiss, putting his arms on Roman’s shoulders. Roman smiled and Virgil pulled him closer into a hug. “You’re my soulmate.” Virgil whispered. A tear ran down his cheek. 

Roman picked him up bridal style and sat him on a bench, sitting beside him. “I love you, Virgil.”

Virgil smiles, gripping Roman’s hand. 

Roman took a breath and started doing what he had told himself he would say to his soulmate when he met him...

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more-“ 

Roman stopped as Virgil gently pressed his lips to his. “Shut up.” He whispered softly, pulling him into a hug. 

Roman smiled and wrapped his arms around Virgil, pulling him onto his lap and pressing his lips to his forehead. “Love you too.” He whispered, wrapping his arms around his soulmate’s neck.


	7. Seagulls(No ship)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus shows up and f*cks things up.   
> Song: m.youtube.com/watch?v=U9t-slLl30E  
> I am not proud of this.

“WHAT is up, everybody!” Remus heard Thomas say. He smiled, grabbing his deodorant. Quickly he rose up. “Hiiiiii Thomas!” 

Thomas ignored him. “Ugh.” Roman growled, sliding away from Remus. 

“Oh, that’s not fun!” Remus said, chewing his deodorant. 

“Thomas is never fun.” Deceit agreed. Remus fist-bumped him, stretching his arm out. Virgil hissed loudly.

Thomas gagged. “Why are you here?” He snapped. 

Remus opened his phone and played back him saying, ‘Oh, I just love showing up where I’m not invited!’ from “Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts.”

Logan sighed. “Anyway Thomas, as I was saying-“

“Oh hi kiddo!” Patton appeared. He pointed at Deceit, frowning slightly. “Ummm... you’re in my spot again....”

“What Patton is trying to say is go away, you two!” Roman snapped. 

Deceit stuck up his middle fingers. 

“Oh, double birds? Really?” Thomas sighed. 

“No.” Deceit said, smirking. 

“This isn’t productive!” Logan said. 

“Oh, shut up, Microsoft turd!” Remus snapped. 

“And now you’re stealing my insults. Great.” Roman sighed. 

“It is, isn’t it!” Remus squealed, eating deodorant.

Logan sighed, pinching his forehead. 

“Oh my GOSH! Will you just leave already?” Virgil hissed.

“JEFFERY DAHMER!!!” Remus screeched, throwing his deodorant at Virgil. He flinched, smacking it away, and the empty container clattered to the ground. He looked at his hand. “Maybe I do have reflexes.” 

“Ugh. I have a headache now.” Thomas said, rubbing his temples.

“It’s nothing a little singing won’t fix!” Remus said. He started to sing Seagulls: Stop it Now! By Bad Lip Reading.

“Rockin'  
Rockin' and Rollin'.  
Down to the beach, I'm strollin'  
but the seagulls poke at my head;  
not fun!”  
I said, "Seagulls, mmm! Stop it now!"

“Oh my- stooooooop.” Thomas groaned.

Remus ignored him. “Hmm hah hmm hmm hmm hah hmm hmm ha Hmm hmm hmm hm ha hmm hm hm hm ha!!”

“Ughhhh. This isn’t even Disney!” Roman complained.

“Everyone told me  
not to stroll on that beach,  
said, "Seagulls gonna come,  
poke me in the coconut...

and they did.

and they did.  
And they goin' like  
Hwawwh hawh hawh hawh haw haw

“How are you even making that noise?!” Virgil hissed, backing away. 

Remus wiggles his eyebrows, shimmying to the beat. “Haaww hawh hawh hawh haw haw  
Haaww hawh hawh hawh hawh haw!

Logan sighed. “Are you done?”

“You wish!” Remus said.

“Nothin' I could do but yell when these birds attacked me.  
When I tried to run I fell, and then these kids start laughin'.  
And then, hmm, got hit in the neck with a hacky-sack.  
Mmm hm hm hmm where'd it come from?”

“Someone probably threw it.” Logan reasoned. 

Remus smirked. “Mmmm Gotta run  
Run  
Run  
Jump  
I can be a backpack while you run.  
Run  
Run  
Run  
Jump  
Now stop!

Put me down.”

“Is this the Yoda thingie that I watched like three years ago?” Thomas asked from where he was lying on the couch. 

“I love to groove and boogie  
Yea-a-a-ah” Remus smiled 

“Great.” Roman muttered. 

“Show you some dance moves! Mmmmm!”

“No, I don't want you to.” Roman snapped. Remus ignored him and began twirling.  
”If I had your giant feet

out there on the beach

Could've outrun those birds!” 

“You're a psycho wiener!” Roman hissed, summoning his sword. 

“ Let me grab my beater!” Remus squealed gleefully, summoning his mace. He swung it to the beat as he sang. “Hmm hah hmm hmm hmm hah hmm hmm ha! Hmm hmm hmm hm ha hmm hm hm hm ha!”  
“Stop it, please!” Patton said, wincing  
Remus ignored him. “Hmm hah hmm hmm hmm hah-“  
“Don't hit me!” Virgil snapped. 

“hmm hmm ha  
Hmm hmm hmm hm ha”

“Please!” Roman hissed. 

“Mhmm hm hm hm ha!”

“Don’t hit me.” Logan said. 

“C'mon man, quick that bangin'!” Thomas said sternly. 

“Hey what's that stank?” Remus said abruptly, dropping his mace.   
Roman wrinkles his nose, pointing to the trash can. “You put a fish in our basket!”

“Ho ho ho-ooh Yeah! I forgot I did that.“ Remus smirked. 

Thomas got up and ran to the trash can. “Why would you put a dead fish in my trash can?”

“You owe me an apology!” Roman added. 

Remus shrugged. “Just hold your breath and see, when the time is right  
birds will bite your face.”

“Will they, though?” Logan asked.

“Wuwhuhuhuhuah!” Remus screeched. “Run,  
Run  
Run  
Jump  
I can be your backpack while you run!”

“You are not a backpack.” Logan pointed out.

“Swing from a hairy vine.  
I can be your backpack while you climb!” 

“That does not sound pleasant.” Thomas sighed.

“Stand on one hand and lift  
rocks with your special gift

and Run  
Run  
Run  
Jump.....

Now breathe........”

Deceit inhaled slowly.

“That's good.” Remus smirked. 

“Yeah, like that.” Deceit agreed, high fiving Remus. 

“ Like that.”

“Since when are you a therapist?” Virgil snapped. 

“Hi!” Doctor Picani rose up. 

Thomas pointed at Picani. “Wait, he’s one of my sides-”

“One day I was walkin'.” Remus continued. 

“and I found this big log  
And I rolled the log over and underneath was a tiny little stick,  
and I was like, "That log had a child."

“Oh, gross!” Thomas groaned.

“What a visual.” Logan sighed.

“Hmmm!” Remus sauntered over to Thomas. “Listen boy, someday when you are older  
you could get hit by a boulder.  
While you're lyin' there screamin',  
"Come help me please, " the seagulls  
HMM  
Poke your knees!”

“Usually Virgil’s the one who points out that I could get hit be flying space trash at any time.” Thomas said.

“Hmm hah hmm hmm hmm hah hmm hmm ha  
Hmm hmm hmm hm ha hmm hm hm hm ha!” Remus screeched. 

“Stop it now!” Virgil hissed. 

“Hmm hah hmm hmm hmm hah hmm hmm ha  
Hmm hmm hmm hm ha hmm hm hm hm ha!” Remus ended the song by getting down on one knee and throwing jazz hands into the air. 

“Well that was an experience.” Logan sighed. 

“ I know right?” Remus squealed. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get more deodorant. Byeeeeee!”


	8. Locked in a Closet(Prinxiety w/ background Demus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Remus and Deceit plan to get Prinxiety together, they decide to lock the pair in a closet. What they don't know is that Virgil is extremely claustrophobic...  
> TW: Implied cursing, Panic Attack, Deceit and Remus being stinky.

Deceit was reading a book about philosophy when there was a knock on the door. ”Come in Remus.” He said. He had known it was him from the obnoxious way he knocked. 

Remus bounced in, chewing on deodorant. “Hiiiii Dee!” 

“One, what do you not want, and two, how few of those do you have?”

“Oh like a whole case.” Remus said offhandedly. “They come on other flavors. Here, want one?” He held out a bar of yellowish deodorant that was labeled, “Rotten Fish Eggs.”

“Yes.” Deceit lied, scooting away from Remus. 

“Suit yourself. Anyway, I haven’t pranked my brother since last week with the no-sparkle shaving cream and I decided it was about time so-“

“And you don’t need me for this?” Deceit interrupted.

“Well I want to lock him in a closet with Virgil.”

“Remus. Do you know how not gay that is?” Deceit asked. 

“Well I mean they obviously like each other. I mean my brother even called him ‘Hot Topic’! Plus they held hands before. But mostly I just want to lock my brother in a closet.” Remus said. 

Deceit considered it. “Do I get to not take a picture for blackmail?” 

“Yes.” Remus said, giggling. “I’ll set up a video recorder. 

“Boring. I won’t lure them in.” Deceit smiled. Snek boi was ready to roll. 

-Virgil’s POV-

Virgil sat on his bed with his headphones, listening to Panic! At The Disco. He was so absorbed in his music that he didn’t notice Deceit in his room for a second. But he happened to glance up and immediately pulled off his headphones. 

He hissed loudly, backing away. “WHY ARE YOU IN MY ROOM?”

Deceit smiled. “What are you talking about? This is my room.” 

“Get out!” Virgil snapped.

“No. I also didn’t want to tell you that I don’t have Roman’s sword, and-“

“WHAT???” Roman screeched, popping up out of nowhere. “Give me back my beautifully manicured sword!”

“Yes.” Deceit said, swinging the sword tantalizingly and grabbing one of Virgil”s posters. 

“My Tim Burton posters!” Virgil exclaimed. Deceit smirked at him and ran away. 

“AFTER HIM!” Roman declared, running after Deceit. Virgil followed, swearing under his breath. “You can’t have my sick nasty Tim Burton posters!” 

After running down several long corridors, Deceit was nowhere to be seen. But there was an open door in front of them. It led to an empty closet. well, empty except for Roman’s sword and Virgil’s rolled-up poster. 

“AHA! My beautiful sword!” Roman said, entering the closet without hesitation. 

“Be careful... what if it’s a trap?” Virgil said cautiously, moving closer. 

“I’m safe, aren’t I, Panic At The Everywhere?” Roman said, sheathing his sword. 

Reluctantly, Virgil stepped past the threshold to the closet towards his poster. He grabbed it and turned to leave. 

The door slammed shut, and Virgil heard the lock click, sealing him in with Roman. Virgil shrieked. 

“Oh my god... REMUS!” Roman gasped, jiggling the doorknob. 

“Have fun!” Remus chuckled. Virgil could hear him eating deodorant.

The truth sunk in and the dark walls closed in around Virgil. He was trapped. Locked in a closet in the dark. Remus has probably thrown away the key. Virgil stumbled to the ground with his head in his hands. The walls came closer and closer. He could feel them squeezing... suffocating.... he was going to die in here. 

“Virge? Are you ok?” Roman said, putting his arm around the anxious trait. 

Virgil was in a dark place. He could hear Deceit’s laugh taunting him. He saw the glint in Remus’s eye. Curling into a ball, he sobbed, letting shaking tears out. 

Suddenly there were arms wrapped around him. Roman pulled Virgil up and onto his lap. He hugged him tight, wiping the tears off of his cheeks. “Virgil. It’s ok. I’m here.” 

Virgil sobbed. “It’s all my fault- it always is-“

Roman put a hand over his mouth. “I’m going to whip your butt, Remus!” He shouted. Virgil cuddled into his chest. 

“Do you promise?” Remus cackled. 

“Ugh. I forgot about his song.” Roman grumbled, pulling Virgil closer. 

“Virgil, it’s ok. I’m here. You’re gonna be fine.” 

Virgil buried his face in Roman’s neck, the flow of tears gradually stopping. Eventually he wrapped his legs around Roman. Roman smiled and played with his hair. “Glad to have you back, Virge.”

Virgil blushed. “Do you know how gay that is?”

“Remember who you’re talking to.” Roman said, wrapping his arm through Virgil’s and intertwining their fingers. Was it Virgil’s imagination, or was Princey’s heartbeat faster than normal?

Virgil’s question was answered when Roman pressed his lips to Virgil’s cheek. Virgil’s face was on fire. 

“Virgil...” Roman said softly. 

On impulse, Virgil grabbed him by the sash and pulled Roman’s face to his. Then he put his hand on Roman’s cheek and kissed him. Roman kissed back almost immediately, wrapping his arms around Virgil and pulling him closer... closer... until he was pressed up against him. Virgil could feel Roman’s heartbeat as well as his own, beating faster than normal. His arms moved from his warm cheeks to his sides. Virgil ran his hands from Princey’s hips to his torso, smiling against his mouth. Roman stroked Virgil’s hair and cheek. 

The door opened with a click and Virgil immediately pushed away from Roman, his face burning red. Roman blushed when he realized that Virgil was still sitting on his lap. He stood up and pulled Virgil up as well, holding his hand. Remus and Deceit stood there snickering. “I didn’t catch that all on video.” Deceit said, holding up his cell phone that must have been hanging from the wall. 

“Remus!” Roman pulled out his sword. 

“Hey!” Remus said, scooting closer to Deceit. 

Roman looked at him in shock, then glanced at Deceit who was looking down. “You two are dating, aren’t you?”

“No.” Deceit said, turning and walking away. Remus followed. The human side of Deceit’s face was bright red, and Remus’s face was tinted a shade of pink.

“You would think that Deceit would be better at lying.” Virgil sighed, grabbing his poster.

Roman picked up Virgil bridal-style. “Come on, Brad Pitiful.” Roman said. 

Virgil wrapped his arms around Roman’s neck. “Love you too, Princey.” 

-BONUS FLUFF!-

Deceit walked to his room, flustered. Remus followed. “What are we going to do to him next?”

“I don’t say we replace his deodorant with some of yours.” Deceit said, adjusting his hat. 

“What if we....... put a dog in his room and make him sniff its butt?” Remus squealed. 

“Yes.” Deceit lied, backing away. 

“It was just a suggestion.” Remus sighed. “I have some spraypaint!” 

“Are you not going to vandalize his Disney posters again?”

Remus winked. “You know it.”

“Count me out. Now if you won’t excuse me, I don’t need to read about philosophers.”

“One more thing, Deceit...” Remus grabbed Deceit by the shoulders, spun him around, and pressed his lips to Deceit’s scaly cheek. “Roman wasn’t wrong.” He whispered. 

Deceit blushed, but wrapped his arms around Remus’s hips. “This is why I hate you.”

Remus presses another kiss to Deceit’s lips and ran his fingers over the scar on his cheek. “And this is why that’s a lie.”


	9. Uno(Prinxiety)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil is having a bad day because of Remus and Deceit. Roman gets Demus together and comforts Virgil. But when Roman accidentally confesses something, will Virgil have the right meme to respond?

Roman sat in his room, looking at the Disney posters. It calmed him to see all of the familiar faces. Belle, Cinderella, Aladdin, Tiana, Rapunzel, Aurora...

His feelings were a mess, so it helped to know that at least some things would always stay the same.

His thoughts wandered back to Virgil, how he was so kind and thoughtful and anxious and cute and....

Roman forced his thoughts back to Disney. He quickly turned on his tv and popped The Lion King into the DVD player. He watched and for a second remembered making the vine where Thomas has rubbed ketchup on someone’s head and said, “Simbaaaaa” for a prank. 

Absorbed in the movie, he was startled when he heard a knock on the door. “Come in unless you’re Remus!” He said, grabbing popcorn. 

Surprisingly it was Virgil. As soon as Roman saw his face, he felt rushed of emotion from earlier today come back to him in waves of joy and hope. He was Thomas’s passion, and he felt heightened emotions all of the time. This was different. Roman looked at the way Virgil’s bangs fell on his face and his deep brown eyes and his purple hair and his sweatshirt and the way he moved his hands and the way he tried to make himself smaller, hiding from the world like a turtle in its shell. Roman couldn’t help but notice Virgil’s eyeshadow and his pale, pale foundation and his beautiful lips and his-

Then Roman remembered why Virgil hid from the world. He was scared. He never took risks. He was the opposite of Roman, who spent his days dreaming and fantasizing about other things, fame and glory. The more fame Thomas had, the more his social anxiety grew. Virgil was literally the opposite of Roman. 

“What do you need, Virgil?” Roman asked, trying to ignore his blushing face. If Virgil was into anybody, it wouldn’t be him. He was Virgil’s opposite. Plus, why would Virgil like someone like him? Someone who had insulted him at every opportunity? 

“Can I-can I come in?” Virgil asked hesitantly. 

“Sure.” Roman said, patting the couch next to him. What am I doing-

As Virgil came closer, Roman saw the streaks in his eyeshadow. His dark persona. His cheeks hastily covered with foundation. But most of all he saw eyes filled with tears. “What happened?” Roman asked, reaching out and pulling Virgil on to the couch with him. 

Virgil curled into a ball. “Deceit.” He whispered. 

“You called?” Deceit appeared, winking. 

Virgil hissed loudly. 

Roman drew his sword. “Get out, Deceit.” He snarled. 

Deceit ignored him and started humming, “Can you feel the love tonight?”

Roman swung his sword at him. “Why don’t you go make out with Remus or something?”

Deceit smirked. “Because I don’t like him.”

“That was definitely a lie. I will tell my brother.”

“Tell me what?” Remus asked, popping up out of nowhere. He was eating deodorant. 

“Deceit likes you.” Roman said. “Now both of you get out!”

Deceit glared at Roman. Remus squealed and picked Deceit up princess-style™️ and ran out of Roman’s room. Roman returned to the couch and wrapped his arm around Virgil. “He won’t hurt you again. I’m here. And I guess so is Remus. I’ll just tell him to go take Deceit on a date or something.”

“Only if you take Virgil on a date!” Remus stuck his head into Roman’s room and yelled. 

“Shut up!” Roman yelled back. 

Virgil nodded. He sniffed. “He’s just so.... powerful. I don’t get how I can keep him from hurting Thomas.”

“There are four of us, Virgil. You’re not alone anymore.” Roman promised, pulling him into a hug. Surprisingly Virgil hugged back, wrapping his arms around Roman’s chest. “Thanks, princey.” He breathed.

“No problem, mi amor.” Roman whispered. 

Virgil looked up at him. “What does that mean?” 

“What?” Roman asked, internally panicking and realizing what he just said. He had called Virgil his love. 

“Mi amor. What does that mean?”

“My-my love. In Spanish.” Roman said, looking at the ground and backing away from Virgil. Roman’s face was burning. “I’m sorry- I-I just- I have a crush on you, ok? I have for so long... I just...” Roman felt tears welling up in his eyes. He looked at Virgil. 

Virgil stared at him blankly. He slowly pulled something out of his pocket and held it up. Roman looked at it in shock. 

It was a fricking UNO reverse card. 

As Roman looked at it, a smile spread across his face. He felt a tear run down his cheek as he scooped Virgil up in his arms and pulled him close. Virgil smiled up at him, blushing. Roman wrapped his arms around Virgil and brought him closer.

Roman felt a tug on his sash as Virgil grabbed him and connected their lips in a kiss. He rubbed Virgil’s back and Virgil wrapped his arms under Roman’s, his hands ending up on his shoulders. Roman’s hand went to Virgil’s cheek, and ran through his hair. He felt the heat of Virgil’s face against his, and the wetness of a tear running down Virgil’s cheek and onto Roman’s. Virgil’s heartbeat was fast, and Roman pressed himself against Virgil, pulling him close. Their lips moved in sync and Roman stroked Virgil’s cheek. 

Roman broke away and cupped Virgil’s face in his hands. Virgil smiled wider. Roman reached out and wiped a tear from Virgil’s cheek.

“Told you!” Remus smirked, snapping a picture on his phone. Virgil hissed at him. Roman pulled Virgil closer and wrapped his arms around his neck. Virgil sat on Roman’s lap, wrapping his legs around him. “Shut up Remus!” Roman called.


	10. I just realized most of my one shots are Prinxiety sooo(remile)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remy drank too much coffee. Will Emile ever get him to sleep?

“Where’s Picani?” Roman ran into the room, panicked. 

“Right here. How may I be of assistance?” Picani looked up. 

“It’s Remy.” Roman looked at the therapist. 

Picani sighed. “How much did he drink this time?”

“I think nine cups.”

“No healthy human being can drink nine cups of coffee in one sitting.” Picani ran after Roman, grabbing his notebook. 

Picani opened the door to Remy’s room, who was drinking more coffee. He was scrolling through his phone. 

Picani put his hand on Remy’s shoulder. “When was the last time you slept?” He asked. 

“Last night.” Remy said, trying to hide a yawn. 

“Please don’t lie to me. No amount of coffee can make the bags under your eyes go away.” Picani said, grabbing the mug from Remy. He tried to protest, but Picani picked him up and laid him on the couch. “You need to get sleep. You cannot live on Tumblr and coffee.” 

“I do not need sleep!” Remy snapped, sitting up and pulling out his phone. 

“Yes you do.” Picani insisted, taking Remy’s phone away too. He sat on the couch. ”If it helps, I’m here as well.” 

Remy sighed. Picani pulled a blanket over them both. He sat there. He would not leave until Remy fell asleep. 

It took almost an hour. Picani was almost asleep himself. But finally, Remy’s head rested on Picani’s shoulder. He snored softly. The sign on his chest reading, “sleep” was crooked, and his glasses were still on. Picani didn’t move, for fear of waking him up. Sleep was a key part of therapy. You couldn’t feel anything clearly if you hadn’t rested for a week. 

At least, that was what he told himself. He tried to relate this experience to a cartoon, but his head was swimming. The therapist couldn’t think straight. He wasn’t straight anyway, so he doubted it made much of a difference. 

Why was he, the therapist, not making sense of his own feelings?

He wrapped his arm around Remy and rested his head on his shoulder, smiling. 

A few hours later, Roman walked into Remy’s room to see Remy hugging Picani in his sleep. Picani was stroking Remy’s hair, smiling. 

Roman backed out, but not before snapping a picture for blackmail.


	11. Hammock(Prinxiety w/ background Logicality, Demus, and Remile)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman takes the sides(and Thomas) on a trip into the imagination. It becomes a day of shipping and asking people out. But when Logicality, Demus, and Remile are together, will Roman have the courage to ask Virgil out?  
> TW: censored swearing, Remus eating deodorant.

Roman led the other sides into his area of Thomas’s mind. “Woah.” Patton breathed. 

“Patton, you’ve been here before.” Logan said. 

“I know but it’s so cool!” Patton squealed. 

Roman smiled and snapped his fingers. Instantly all of the sides were standing on a beach right by a huge ocean. The rising sun splashed waves upon waves of bright yellows and oranges across the blue-white sky like an artist painting a blank canvas. Wisps of cloud were scattered across the work of art, small stringy pieces of white cotton candy rushing across the morning sky. Roman felt the warm sand between his toes and sighed. He let his creativity run wild. He felt a warmth run through his veins and spread out from his heart, transforming the world around him just as Roman has imagined. Behind the group, the sand gave way to a grassy meadow framed by willow trees, their branches swaying in the wind. The meadow was full of flowers, and a path through the picturesque scene led to a small cabin, with a front porch and a balcony. There was a back garden with a pond full of koi fish, and a hammock facing the beach. The bright sun cast a golden glow on the whole place, and only made it seem more magical. 

“Beautiful.” Deceit muttered dryly, sighing and scrolling through Tumblr. He was still sour that Patton had made him and Remus come on this trip.

Roman snapped his fingers again and instantly there was no WiFi or phone signal. “Great.” Deceit muttered, pocketing his phone. 

“Wait! I almost forgot!” Roman waves his hand and instantly a beautiful rainbow spread across the sky.

Thomas nodded in approval. “I love it. Still... it could be gayer.”

“Roman! This is horrible! I forgot my deodorant!” Remus whined. 

“Do you promise not to kill anybody?” Roman looked at his brother with contempt. 

“Sure.” Remus said, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“Give me your morningstar.” Roman held out a hand expectantly. 

Remus hissed at him. “Stop copying Virgil!” Roman snapped. Virgil sunk down farther in his hoodie. 

“No morningstar, no deodorant.” Roman snapped. 

“Ughhhhhh fine. But I’m totally vandalizing your Disney posters later.” Remus grumbled, tossing the weapon to Roman, who caught it in midair and immediately sent it to Remus’s side of the creativity. “You wouldn’t dare!” Roman threatened, twirling his sword around his fingers. 

“Deodorant, b*tch!” Remus snapped, holding out his hand. Roman sighed and summoned a bar of Remus’s favorite snack, tossing it to him and immediately wiping his hands on his sash to get the residue off. Remus squealed in happiness, opening the lid.

“This place is great, kiddo!” Patron squealed.

Roman smiles, leading the group to the cottage. “I’ll show you around.”

Inside, the cottage was much bigger than it looked outside. There was a kitchen, a sunroom, and a living room with a big couch and a TV. Roman pointed to a door. “Deceit, Remus, your rooms are down there.”

“In the basement?” Remus squealed. “How much goldfish do you think can fit in a-“

Thomas stepped in. “Totally unrelated.”

“There’s more deodorant down there...” Roman said. 

Remus squealed and ran down the steps. Deceit followed. 

“Remy, Emile? Your rooms are just down that corridor.” Roman continues, waving at a corridor. “Yes, Remy, we do have a coffee maker.” He added when he saw sleep start. 

“Thanks b*tch.” Remy make the OK symbol and walked down the corridor. 

“Did you put duplicates of my cartoon figurines in my room?” Emile squealed, jogging down to his room. 

“All of our rooms are upstairs.” Roman pointed at a set of spiral stairs in the corner. 

“I’m guessing I don’t get a room?” Thomas said. 

“No. You’re sitting on your couch with your eyes closed.” Roman said, following the others upstairs. 

“Fair point.” Thomas muttered, disappearing.

“Satisfactory.” Logan remarked as he opened the door to his room. 

“I’m glad you-“ Roman started.

“EEeeeEeeeeeeEeEeEEEE!” Patton squealed, running into his room. 

“Did you seriously put puppies in his room?” Virgil asked.

“You know it, hot topic.” Roman smirked.

“Honestly, am I that good looking? This is the second time, princey.” Virgil snorted.

If only you knew... Roman thought.

“Hey Logan!” Patton exclaimed, opening a door that connected his room to the Logical side’s. Roman noticed that Logan didn’t complain. 

“Our rooms are this way.” Roman walked around a bend to two doors. He opened Virgil’s, revealing a room much like his normal abode. Roman walked into his room, which was clad with Disney-themed decor, and opened the adjoining door. He looked at Virgil. Surprisingly he didn’t ask why their two rooms were connected. 

“We get the balcony!” Roman gasped, grabbing Virgil by the arm and pulling him out onto the balcony. It has a view of the ocean, and Roman gazed in wonder. 

“Why did you want the balcony again, Sir-Sing-A-Lot?” Virgil smirked. 

“All princes have a balcony to look down on their kingdom- REMUS! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU-!” Roman screeched, staring at the scene below them. 

Virgil covered his mouth. “Shut up. I need a picture for blackmail.”

About 15 feet away, Remus and Deceit sat on the branch of a willow tree. They were embracing each other and fully making out. 

“I think it’s cute!” Patton squealed, suddenly appearing. 

“Of course you do.” Logan said, walking in behind Patton.

Virgil snapped a picture on his phone and sent it to Thomas. He instantly appeared. “What in... Demus is real?” Thomas gasped.

“It appears so.” Roman muttered.

Suddenly Deceit looked up and saw them. The human side of his face instantly reddened and he dropped down from the branch. Remus followed, running after him. 

“I’m going swimming!“ Patton yelled.

-hey look a fricking time skip whoop de doo-

“Roman, truth or dare?” Remus smirked. They were playing the game under the afternoon sun, although Roman had started to regret it. “Truth.” There was no way he was taking a dare from his brother. 

Remus wiggled his eyebrows. “Fine then. Do you have a crush?” 

Roman’s face reddened and he flicked his eyes toward Virgil. “Dare.” He said quickly. 

“I dare you to tell us if you have a crush.” Remus smirked. 

“F***. Ummm....” Roman sighed, blushing even more. “Fine. I do. I’m not telling you who though.” He said.

Remus smirked. “Dee, we need to set him up.” 

Deceit glanced at Remus and smiled. “Count me out.”

Virgil looked at Roman, his face seemingly expressionless. Roman blushed more as he imagined pulling him into an embrace and connecting their lips in a sweet kiss...

Of course I have to have a crush on the one side that definitely wouldn’t like me back after all the horrible things I said to him. He thought. Quickly he turned so that none of the other sides would get suspicious. “Patton, truth or dare?”

“Dare,” Patton said. Last time he chose truth, and Virgil had made him admit that he liked someone. 

“I dare you to kiss the side you like.” Roman said. It was obvious that Patton liked Logan, from the glances the two shared and the way that he was the one person to make the logical side show any hint of emotions.

Seeing Patton’s red, blushing face, Roman worried that he had gone too far. “I can change it if you like, Patton. Just say the word.” 

“N-no, it’s fine...” Patton said, taking a deep breath. He quickly turned his head and pressed a small kiss to Logan’s cheek. 

Logan’s face turned beet red, but... was that a small smile on his face? He whispered something indecipherable. 

“What did you say?” Patton asked, backing away as if worried he’d hurt him.

“You missed.” Logan said, swiftly turning and grabbing Patton by the cardigan. He pulled him into a long kiss, wrapping his arms around him. 

Roman quickly sent another picture to Thomas, who appeared nearly instantaneously. “Aaaand that’s Logicality. Right on schedule.” Thomas said, looking at Logan and Patton, who were still embraced in a kiss.

“You knew that I liked Logan?” Patron asked, confused.

“It was pretty obvious.” Virgil said. 

“Welp, if we’re just gonna keep the shipping going, I suggest we hook Roman up with-“

“How about Remile?” Virgil said quickly. Everyone looked at Emile, who was sitting on a bench, not facing them. No one could see Remy.

Roman spun his finger and turned the bench around. Everyone stared at Remy curled up on Emile’s lap.

The therapist looked at them. “Shhh. I finally got him to sleep.”

“You wish, b*tches.” Remy muttered, wrapping his arms tighter around Emile. Emile sighed and stroked his hair. This time Patton took a picture as Remy tilted his face upward and smirked, pulling Emile into a kiss.

Thomas broke the silence that followed. “Damn it, why is everyone so fricking gay together when I’m still lonely?”

-Time skip brought to you by Remus’s Deodorant-

Roman sat on the hammock, marveling the sunset. The day had gone faster than any of them could have imagined. And he had gotten his friends to date. It was a win-win. 

If only he could have a boyfriend, too...

Once again, Virgil’s face floated past his mind. Roman sighed and stuffed his feelings down, looking at the sunset. If he wasn’t careful, his love for Virgil would spill into this paradise that he had created, and everyone would know. He didn’t know why he was scared of everyone knowing that he loved the anxious side. The thought of it brought a new feeling upon him, a dark and scary one. Roman pushed it away and blinked the tears out of his eyes. He started softly humming “A Million Dreams,” from The Greatest Showman. 

I close my eyes and I can see

a world that’s waiting up for me

that I call my own. 

Through the dark

through the door

through where no one’s been before...

but it feels like home

He didn’t notice Anxiety’s presence until Virgil sat down on the hammock with him, making it creak. immediately he froze, but quickly resumed humming. He looked at Virgil’s face out of the corner of his eye. 

They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy

They can say, they can say we’ve lost our minds. 

I don’t care, I don’t care if they call us crazy

We can live in a world that we-

“Roman. Stop.” 

“What? I’m making this a songfic, they’re very popular-“

“No, you’re supposed to be humming. And stop trying to break the fourth wall!” 

“Fine. Sorry, I guess...” 

Roman stopped humming and looked at Virgil. The fading sunlight highlighted his best facial features. His jawline, his cheeks. The way his bangs fell onto his face as if he wanted to hide from the world. His brown eyes that were so deep, you could drown in them. The eyeshadow smeared under his eyes, which somehow made him only look more beautiful. The slope of his nose that ran to his lips. Oh, god, his lips. What Roman wouldn’t give to reach out and press those lips to his. 

But Virgil’s appearance wasn’t the only thing Roman loved. He loved the way Virgil always came up with a snappy comeback. He loved the way he looked out for Thomas. He loved the way that he was so nervous all of the time, or anxious, if you will. He loved how he spoke and how even though he pointed out the bad outcome to any situation, he still left room for the good. Roman hated that Deceit and Remus scared him so much, and he wanted nothing more than to pull his little anxious emo into a warm, loving embrace and protect him from any harm. He wanted to be closer to Virgil, to comfort him, to love him. 

Roman was dragged out of his thoughts by Virgil. “Princey? Earth to Princey.”

“Yeah, emo nightmare?” Roman said. 

“You said something earlier about feelings... was it true?” Virgil asked. Roman could hear the uncertainty in his voice. 

“Yes.” Immediately Roman knew what he was referring to and could stand his impulse no longer. “Do you want to know who it is?” 

“Er- sure, I guess...” Virgil trailed off. 

Roman turned to Virgil and wrapped his arms around him. “It’s you.” He whispered. 

Virgil’s face was a blooming bouquet of roses. A tear ran down his cheek. Roman immediately let go and scooted away. Now you’ve told him and he doesn’t love you back and you’ve ruined everything -

Virgil grabbed Roman and pulled him back in, his eyes full of emotion. “Me-me too.” He whispered, his voice full of anxiousness.

Roman looked at him in shock, pulling him closer. A tear of happiness ran down his cheek. Virgil reaches out and brushed it off, smiling. He looked into his eyes, asking a silent question. 

Virgil nodded almost imperceptibly. 

Ever so slowly, Roman pulled Virgil closer to him. Closer... closer...

There faces were mere inches apart. Roman felt Virgil’s breath dust his face. 

And then their lips were connected in a passionate kiss, and all Roman could think was finally, finally, finally. He pulled Virgil closer still and they stood together, their lips moving in sync. Roman felt Virgil’s hands slowly come to his cheeks, and he ran his hands down Virgil’s middle. Roman could feel Virgil’s hands on his cheeks, and he deepened the kiss. He wrapped his arms under Virgil’s and played with his hair, still kissing. Explosions of emotion flicker through Roman’s veins as he feels the warmth of Virgil’s chest against his. Everything else fades away until he can only feel intense, burning love. 

Unfortunately, oxygen was vital for life. They broke apart, gasping for air. Roman stared at Virgil. “Wow.” He said. 

Virgil smirked, his gaze full of love. Roman sat on the hammock, resting his head on the pillow. Virgil climbed up without hesitation and curled into Roman. Roman pulled him closer and Virgil wrapped his legs around him. Roman pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

“So... Prinxiety too, I’m guessing?” Thomas said, breaking the silence. 

Roman ignored him, instead pulling Virgil closer to him and running his hand through his hair. Virgil’s lips curled into a smile, and Roman pressed another loving kiss to them.


	12. A Demus/Dukeceit oneshot with a bit of Prinxiety if you squint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus and Deceit are bored. So what do they do? They make out. And fall in love in the process. Maybe Deceit will trust Remus enough to tell him a secret...
> 
> This is part of Sympathy of Deceit Week! The days go as follows:  
> January 24: Demus   
> Jan. 25: Anxciet  
> Jan. 26: Lociet  
> Jan. 27: Roceit
> 
> TW: Censored cussing, God's name used in vain.

Deceit sighed, pulling on his gloves. He looked at himself in the mirror and smirked, putting his hat on. Quickly he ran a few fingers over the snake scales on his left cheek, tracing the scar that went from his lips to his cheekbone. He felt a sudden rush of emotions. Nobody had ever bothered to ask him about his face. 

Nobody except Remus, that is. 

Deceit shoved his feelings down and walked out of his room. He heard the other sides discussing something and smirked, appearing instantly. Thomas was filming a video and Deceit rose up. Virgil saw him first and hissed. Thomas groaned. “I said one of you was enough!”

“Dee!” Remus squealed upon seeing him. Deceit waved at him and turned to Thomas. “Well, you two are here, so it’s obvious... I have something wrong with me.”

“A-duh.” Remus smirked. “Dee, want some deodorant?”

“Yes.” Deceit lied. 

Remus shrugged. “Yeet.”

“No! I am the only one allowed to use slang!” Logan snapped. 

Roman sighed and pinched his forehead. “Why exactly are you here?” 

Remus cleared his throat. “There is no rhyme or reason to what I do-“

“You just do. Yes, we are aware.” Logan said. 

“Anyways, kiddos, let’s get back on topic. Thomas has been feeling really sleep-deprived lately, and-“

“Did someone say Starbucks?” Remy popped up. 

“No, Remy. When was the last time you slept?” Logan sighed. 

“Sleep? Who’s that?” Remy smirked, sipping an iced coffee. 

“You are sleep, Remy!” Virgil snapped. No one looked at the anxious side except Deceit, who saw him hugging Roman’s arm. 

“Eh, I’m done with this bullsh*t. I’ma go get some more deodorant.” Remus smirked, sinking out. Deceit followed.

They ended up in a hallway. Remus turned and looked at Deceit. “So. Um.” Deceit said. 

“My god, just shut up and kiss me already.” Remus sighed. 

Deceit’s lips curled up in a smile. “You’re asking for something I can’t give.” 

Remus looked at him. “B*tch.” He smirked. 

Deceit made an offended face but couldn’t hold in a snort. Remus smiled and moved closer until he was maybe two feet away. “Will you finally tell me today?” He asked, reaching out to stroke Deceit’s cheek. Deceit didn’t stop him, instead enjoying the feel of Remus’s fingers running across his scales.

“You wish.” He muttered, pulling Remus closer. 

Remus looked up at him. “Dee, why is it that you never lie when we’re alone?” 

Deceit took a deep breath. “I.... don’t know,” He said slowly. 

Remus smirked. Deceit felt something strange blossom inside him, a surging sea of emotions he had no idea he could ever have. There were so many things swirling inside him. Pain, happiness, joy, hope. He didn’t shove them down like he normally did. Instead he let his impulse take over. He couldn’t hide his feelings any longer. 

Ever so slowly, his arm snaked it’s way around Remus’s waist. Remus smiled, his eyes mirroring all of the emotions inside. Deceit smirked and pulled him close enough that Remus’s breathing made his bangs shiver from the moving air. He wrapped his other arm around Remus’s neck. Somehow Remus’s hands had made their way to Deceit’s waist and hair. Deceit pulled Remus close enough that their bodies were pressed against each other. He felt the steady heartbeat of Remus thumping against his own. Thump. Thump. Thump. 

Their hearts were beating in sync. Deceit’s face warmed and Remus’s looked unusually red. 

And then Remus pulled Deceit’s face in and connected their lips together. Surprised, Deceit kissed back. He smiled against his mouth, pulling him closer still. He stumbled and quickly conjured a couch, and fell into a sitting position, his lips never leaving Remus’s mouth. Remus scooted closer and Deceit pulled him onto his lap. He felt Remus’s legs intertwine with his and blushed furiously. Deceit felt Remus’s arms wrap around him. Quickly he raised his hand and stroked Remus’s cheek softly. Remus’s hand gripped his arm tightly and pulled them closer together. 

After about a minute, Deceit felt light-headed from lack of oxygen. He pulled away slowly, somehow a little sad. 

Remus smiled and ran his hands from Deceit’s cheekbone to his lips. Deceit blushed softly and ran his hands through Remus’s hair. “I’ll tell you.” He whispered softly. 

Remus’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

Deceit smiled and pressed a kiss to Remus’s cheek, slowly traveling to his ear. When he reached his destination he leaned even closer, so that his lips were brushing his earlobe. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth. 

Remus listened as Deceit quietly whispered his name into his ear.


	13. Impulse(Anxceit)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Virgil gets locked in Deceit's room on accident, he gets negatively affected and even starts to grow snake scales on his face. Can Deceit save him, or is it too late?

Deceit sat up. Instantly he knew something was wrong. He looked by his bedside table and sighed. _Of course. Roman took my hat again._

Quickly Deceit got dressed and walked past Remus’s room. He quickly peeked inside. He wasn’t there, which meant that Thomas was probably watching a movie or reading a book. 

Deceit rose up just in time to see Roman wiggle his hat between his fingers. “Anyone wanna vote on what we’re gonna do next?”

Deceit swooped in. “Oh g- I was looking for this!” He snapped, snatching his hat away from Roman. Virgil hissed at the sight of him. 

Deceit ignored him. “Don’t touch my sh*t” he ordered, flipping his hat onto his head and walking away.

**:) time skip brought to you by Crofter’s (:**

“Where’s Virgil?” There was a pounding on Deceit’s door. 

Deceit sighed and got up to open it. He saw Roman standing there with his hands on his hips. “Where is he?” He demanded. 

“In here.” Deceit snapped sarcastically, trying to shut the door.

Roman stopped him. “Was that a lie?”

“What do you think?” 

Roman sighed. “You’re impossible.” 

Deceit smirked at Roman and morphed into Virgil for a second, winking at Princey. Then he shifted back into his normal body, shutting the door.

He grabbed one of his books about philosophy. Flipping to the pages about Kant, he began to read...

Suddenly Deceit heard a small noise. He got up, suspicious. It was coming from his closet. 

Deceit opened the door and almost screamed at what he saw. “REMUS WHAT THE F*** DID YOU DO TO VIRGIL?” He screeched.

Virgil was lying on the floor of Deceit’s closet, bound in a long receipt from CVS. His mouth was duct-taped shut, and his eyes were closed. But worst of all, there was something growing on the right side of his face...

Deceit scooped the anxious side up and ran downstairs.

Roman gasped. “WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?” He screeched, running over to Virgil and glaring at Deceit. 

“I’m not telling the truth! Remus didn’t f***ing put him in my goddamn room!” Deceit snapped. 

“Why am I supposed to believe you?” Roman cried, looking at Virgil in horror. 

“You’re _not supposed_ \- honestly!” Deceit snapped, laying Virgil down on the couch. 

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIS FACE?” Roman demanded, summoning his sword. 

“Not staying in my room for too long has an effect on you, just like staying in Virgil’s room makes you make Thomas more anxious. Virgil’s main functions aren’t now working to make Thomas more dishonest. I don’t guess the side effect is that he now has scales growing out of his face.” Deceit explained quickly. 

“You b*tch. How do we fix it?” Roman hissed, grabbing Virgil’s arm. 

“I didn’t think getting him out of my room would be enough!” Deceit worried. For once his tone wasn’t aggressive. He felt a burst of emotion, but shoved it down again.

“I bet you put him in your room just to make him a dark side again, didn’t you!” Roman exploded. “And now you can’t fix it and Virgil’s gone and it’s _your fault_!”

Deceit glared at him, hoping that the emotions in his eyes would burn through Roman’s head and shock some sense into him. “I still don’t care about him! Just because I’m not a dark side and he’s a light side doesn’t mean that I don’t care about him any less! He’s not amazing in his own way and he wasn’t happy with us.” 

Roman didn’t know what to say to that. “Maybe if we put him in his room he’ll get better.” He said, scooping Virgil in his arms and sinking down. Deceit followed. He felt a twinge of something poking at his chest, some weird feeling. He shoved it down.

Roman laid him on the couch. “This better work.” He muttered, glaring at Deceit. 

“Roman. Your face totally doesn’t have eyeshadow on it.” Deceit said.

Roman felt his face and winced. “Sh*t.” He muttered. “I have to leave.” He sunk out, glancing at Virgil worriedly.

Deceit waited, his anxiety growing. He could feel the space under his eyes growing darker and darker. Each bone-chilling second seemed to make the world turn a little faster. Virgil’s face had regained some of its color, but nothing else seemed to be changing. Deceit gripped Virgil’s hand and rubbed his thumb along the anxious side’s palm. He felt a tear welling up in his eye. What would happen if Thomas had no anxiety? Honestly Deceit couldn’t imagine a world without Virgil. 

Was he being honest with himself? Of course not. Deceit reached out a gloved hand and stroked Virgil’s cheek, wishing the scales would leave as if they had never been there. He felt more emotions stirring inside him like a wave forming, about to crash into a beach with a roar. 

He felt the influence of Virgil’s room making him think more. Who did he really blame for this? Remus? Roman? Virgil?

Or himself?

It was _his_ room that made Virgil like this in the first place. If he hadn’t dismissed Roman’s question, maybe... If he had noticed Virgil’s cries earlier than he did, if he had been more observant and stoppedignoring everyone, if he didn’t _lie to himself so much,_ then maybe he could’ve saved him. It was all Deceit’s fault.

Roman had been right all along. 

Deceit let his feelings grow into an ocean inside him, a raging sea full of so many different emotions. He could identify some of them- jealousy, anger, sadness, fear...

And there was one other that he could not figure out. It was warm and sweet, and he had never known it had existed. It had been buried deep inside him, he realized. He would never have found it. 

A tear ran down his cheek, and that’s when Deceit broke. 

His feeling swelled into a storm. Inside his head, rain fell. Deceit spun around and just wanted to get out. Get away from all of the emotions swirling faster and faster and faster still inside his head. The wind whipping at his face. The water lapping at his feet, threatening to sweep him away in a riptide that forced its way through Deceit’s head. The scales on his cheek felt like weights, pulling him down. His tears blurred the eyeshadow that had formed under his eyes. He held his head in his hands and sobbed, letting it all out in tears. He felt the world spin around him. Nothing would ever be the same. 

Then there was a light.

Somehow it shined through the torrent of feelings in Deceit’s mind. He reached out a hand, wanting it to all stop, for everything to be taken away. He wanted the pain of lying to himself to finally end. 

The light was warm, and Deceit surrounded himself in the feeling that had stopped the storm. The feeling that he has never knew he could feel. 

Love. 

Deceit opened his eyes and looked at Virgil in shock. He realized what he should have known all along: he loved Virgil with all of his heart. he loved Virgil too much to let him go, that he needed him. That Virgil was the only thing between him and Thomas. That _he_ was the light that saved him from sinking down into the darkest corners. And if he was gone, Deceit was doomed. 

Even liars have feelings. 

Deceit slowly brushed a tear off of his cheek and looked at Virgil. What he had done. The scales on his cheek seemed to burn a hole through Deceit’s soul. His pale, pale face. His beautiful bangs. His wonderful face that he had _ruined_ by being stupid and ignorant. 

He had to fix the mess he had made.

Slowly, impulsively, Deceit bent over and pressed a kiss to Virgil’s forehead. Nothing happened. He moved to his cheek and brushed it with his lips as well. Then, ever so slowly, there was a bit of warm color moving onto Virgil’s face. 

Deceit took a deep breath and connected his and Virgil’s lips in a kiss. 

He pulled Virgil’s unmoving, still-warm body closer so that he looked like he was sitting up. He wished he could fix everything. He wished he could go back in time and tell his past self to stop being an ignorant, dishonest b*tch. 

Suddenly Virgil stirred. Deceit dropped him, stood up, and moved away fast. 

Virgil opened his eyes and brushed his own scaleless cheek. He looked at Deceit in wonder. “You-you saved me.”

“What?” Deceit whispered, a tear of happiness running down his cheek. 

“You saved me. You took all of the dishonesty that your room instilled in me... and you took it back.”

“I-I didn’t-“

Virgil took a deep breath and grabbed Deceit by the arm, pulling him onto the couch with him. “I saw all of it. I couldn’t speak or move, but I saw it all.” 

“I’m so sorry, Virgil.” Deceit said softly. 

Virgil took him by the hand. “For what?”

“It was my fault you got into this mess- if I had only-“ 

Virgil stopped Deceit by putting a finger over Deceit’s lips. “Don’t say that. I used to say the same thing. It only gets darker and darker, and it’s nearly impossible to escape.” 

Virgil snuggled into Deceit’s chest. Deceit wrapped his arms protectively around his little emo boy. He pulled him closer, sighing as he stroked his hair. 

Virgil tilted his head up. “Deceit, can I... kiss you?” He whispered. 

Deceit answered by grabbing his hoodie and pulling Virgil’s face to his, smashing their lips together. Virgil kissed back, wrapping his arms around Deceit and smiling. Deceit ran a hand through Virgil’s hair, pressing closer to him than ever. Virgil was sitting on Deceit’s lap, wrapping his legs around him. He didn’t let go. 


	14. Sunset(Loceit)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan knows his feelings are errors. That HE is an error. But why do his emotions increase around Deceit?

Logan was on the roof of the mind palace, looking at the sun slowly dip towards the horizon. 

The logical side always came up here when his head was a mess. When he was confused. When everything seemed to be moving too fast to throughly process. 

When he was so off balance, the feelings that raged through his head started to show in his actions. 

Logan shoved those thoughts away. What would he do if the others found out he had emotions? He was literally _logic_. Feelings were the bane of his existence. 

But then why did he have them?

Somehow he had always known that logic and feelings were inextricable. Associating knowledge with feelings left Logan intertwined with the rest of Thomas. He was stuck with his feelings, whether he liked it or not. 

Every time Thomas thought about theater, Logan felt passionate and strong. Every time Thomas thought about his fans, Logan felt joy. Every time Thomas thought about the LGBTQ+ community, Logan felt prideful. Every time Thomas thought about the Dark Sides, Logan couldn’t help but feel a little repulsed, even as he dealt with them. And more emotions were hidden under these feelings, more things that Logan had yet to discover. Some nights he couldn’t sleep because he was thinking so hard about how having feelings would affect his impact on Thomas. 

Logan sighed, his thoughts still moving as fast as a bullet train. He looked at the gradient colors of the sunset, the red fading to orange fading to yellow fading briefly to white, then to a deep blue. The stars pinpricking the sky. He tried to relax. He even tried some of Virgil’s breathing exercises. 

His feelings were still there. Logan gripped the edge of the bench he was sitting on in frustration. He felt the wood digging into his palms. 

What was wrong with him? 

Logan’s thoughts still figuratively raced at millions of miles per hour. He thought about the impacts of emotions on the brain, how they could lead to depression and anger issues. He thought about toxic thinking, how Remus made Thomas feel disgusted, and in turn, made Logan repulsed and nervous. 

Who would’ve thought that the one who had saved Thomas from Remus would need saving from himself? 

A creak jolted Logan our of his thoughts. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Deceit join him on the bench. The bench was small, and Deceit’s shoulder inevitably brushed against Logan’s. 

Instantly the feelings that Logan had held in his chest exploded hundredfold. He felt so many different things at once. The storm of emotions inside him only strengthened when Deceit’s shoulder touched Logan’s again and didn’t leave. 

Logan looked at Deceit, who was looking at the sunset. The sun projected multicolored light onto his chiseled features. Logan noticed things he hadn’t before, like the carefree way Deceit’s bangs were swept away from his face. His brown eyes, glinting in the fading light. The reflection of the sunlight on his smooth cheek. The way his nose sloped down to his lips that were tantalizingly still. The smooth scales on the right side of his face. The scar that went from the corner of his lips to his cheekbone. The way his small smile seemed more truthful than it had ever before. His-

Logan tore his glance away as the sun dipped below the horizon. The stars were out, scattered across the sky. Why was he feeling this way towards Deceit? He had always been different than the other dark sides. Deceit aimed to protect Thomas, even if it was in a twisted way. Logan thought back to what he had said in the Selfishness vs. Selflessness video: “I... don’t want Thomas to be disadvanteged in a world where you can be killed for not following the laws made in the name of a lie.”

At the thought of Deceit Logan’s face warmed 

In the semidarkness Logan could barely see... so it came to a surprise to him when he felt Deceit’s cheek rest on his shoulder. He was curled into a sleeping position, and his breathing was even. Logan didn’t quite know what he was doing, but he wrapped his arm around him and pulled him slightly closer. Deceit’s hat had fallen to cover his eyes, and Logan shifted it to see his closed eyelids. A rare smile graced Logan’s face. Ever so slowly he moved his face down... down... until it was a half inch from Deceit’s face. Logan softly placed an impulsive kiss on his forehead, his lips barely brushing Deceit’s skin.

Instantly Logan got off of the bench and stood, holding his head in his hands. _Why did I do that? Was that what impulse was? Oh no he probably hates me he definitely hates me how am I gonna make it up to him- why do I feel this way what is this feeling why do I feel so **warm**?_

Logan’s thoughts whizzed through his head like firework rockets, popping off at any second. His face felt warm. How could he identify these feelings? He had to face the truth... he couldn’t hide his emotions anymore. He would have to-

“You missed.” A cool voice sounded from the bench. Logan opened his eyes to see Deceit smirking at him. 

“Deceit- I-I’m so sorry-“

Logan didn’t get another word out. Deceit stood up and grabbed him by the necktie, pulling him towards him. Logan let out a muffled gasp as Deceit’s lips pressed against his in a passionate kiss. Logan felt a tear form in his eye. He waited for a moment, then kissed back, wrapping his arms around Deceit and closing his eyes. He let his feelings soar, pouring all of his emotions into the kiss. Deceit slid his arms under Logan’s shoulders and pulled him closer until they were sitting on the bench together, still kissing. Logan had somehow ended up sitting on Deceit’s lap. Logan felt Deceit run his gloved hands through his hair and smiled against his mouth, pressing his body against Deceit’s in the semidarkness. He wrapped his arms around Deceit’s neck and kissed him harder. 

Eventually Logan broke away, breathing hard. Deceit didn’t say a word. The only thing Logan saw was his smile. Somehow Logan had made Deceit... genuinely happy. He blushed and brought his hand to Deceit’s scaled cheek, feeling the warmth as he ran his fingers over his scar. Deceit pulled Logan into a hug. 

Logan had finally found a way to express his feelings. 


	15. Wizarding World(Roceit)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sympathy for Deceit Week day 4  
> Roman is an auror, trying to fight off a dragon and protect the No-Maj population. But what happens when the dragon is owned by a snake maledictus who is very protective of his property?
> 
> VOCAB:
> 
> MACUSA: Magical congress of the United States of America (from Fantastic Beasts and where to find them)  
> Auror: basically a wizard policeman  
> Maledictus: a wizard who has been cursed to transform into a wild animal at least once a month. Every time they transform they lose part of themselves until eventually they stay that animal forever.  
> no-maj: hooman person  
> Apparate: to magically teleport using a wand
> 
> warnings: implied cursing and swearing, I guess a tad bit of homophobia?

Roman whipped out his wand with a flourish, letting his toes tap quietly on the ground. He was an auror for the MACUSA, and he had one assignment today: to hunt down and capture a dragon that had been terrorizing the No-Majs in a suburb town in Florida, Gainesville(This is actually where Thomas Sanders lives I looked it up). He was now moving through the copse of wood, listening for the telltale roars of the dragon. He was an expert in dragons, having studied them in school, and had been trained by MACUSA’s best to hunt them down to protect the innocent No-Maj populace. 

In the dark he couldn’t see anything. “Lumos,” he whispered softly to himself. The tip of his wand glowed brightly as he continued through the woods. He avoided crinkling leaves or snapping twigs. 

Roman heard something. He immediately stopped to listen. There it was again. A faint roar. Roman leaped into a tree, scaling it quickly. He stuffed his wand in his robes, whispering, “Nox.” From the treetop he could see a faint glow in the distance. It was the dragon. 

Roman dropped to the ground and began running, his feet tapping lightly on the ground. His relit wand showed him the way through the woods. He ran with a purpose, swiftly and silently. 

The roars of the Dragon were louder now, Echoing in Roman’s ears as he burst into a clearing. The full moon shone in the night, ripping a hole in the blanket of darkness that covered the clearing. Roman raised his wand. In the flickering light he could barely make out the huge shape in front of him. 

Then his wand light shone into the mouth of the beast and Roman flipped backwards as a wall of fire surged up to meet him. His robes singed a bit but he was otherwise fine. The tree he had been standing in front of burst into flames. 

In the flickering firelight Roman could make out the enormous figure of a female scarlet-red Chinese Fireball.

He swore under his breath. Chinese fireballs, especially female ones, were extremely dangerous. They belonged on the other side of the world, in the Romanian dragon sanctuary in China. 

“What are you doing in Florida?” Roman murmured, looking the dragon in the eye. Her yellow pupil glared back at him. Roman moved just in time to avoid getting hit by another blast of fire. He flicked his wand at the tree and snapped, “ _Aguamenti_!” Instantly a wave of water crashed over the tree, dousing the small fire. He turned to the Dragon. “ _Stupefy_!”

The stunning spell didn’t work as Roman had hoped. The dragon flinched and roared loudly, spurting fire into the air. _It’ll set the whole forest on fire_! Roman thought, panicking. He pointed his wand at his feet and hollered, “ _Ventus_!” conjuring a large gust of wind that propelled him upwards. 

He shot up to the dragon, who was flapping her wings in a panic. She tried to take flight. Roman couldn’t let her get away. He grabbed onto a chain that hung from her neck, wincing as the burning-hot metal touched his skin. Gripping tightly, he magically elongated the chain and slid down it so he was on the ground, holding down a full-grown Chinese Fireball with his bare hands. 

“Hey! Don’t get away from her!” A voice shouted menacingly. Roman turned to see a shadowed figure. He held a wand. His face was in darkness, and Roman didn’t recognize his voice. He raised his wand. “What do you mean? You don’t want me to get away from her?” 

The wizard stepped forward. “I don’t mean it.”

Roman conjured a metal ring that was embedded in the ground and fastened the chain to it, ignoring the roars of the dragon above him. “Sir, I’m one of MACUSA’s top Aurors. If you harm me you will be prosecuted and sent to Azkaban.” 

The stranger flicked his wand and Roman ducked as a burst of light shot over his head. He retaliated, pointing his wand at the stranger and yelping, “ _Expelliarmus_!” 

His opponent dodged it and hissed, “ _Sectumsempra_!” The spell hit Roman’s robe and slashed a cut through the fabric. 

Roman has had enough. “ _Stupefy_!” He hollered. A jet of red light exploded from his wand and shot directly at the stranger. 

He conjured a shield charm, just in time. The jinx reflected off of the shield and rebounded towards Roman, striking just over his head. 

Roman let out a sigh of relief and raised his wand to cast another spell. He didn’t notice the stranger running towards him or opening his mouth to yell a warning. He didn’t hear the creaking of wood behind him 

The only thing he saw was the tree that blocked his vision for a split second before collapsing right on top of him.   
  


**This time skip brought to you by Prinxiety even tho this is a Rociet one shot**

  
Roman stretched open his eyes. The bright light filtering through a skylight nearly blinded him. He raised a hand to shield his face, groping for his wand. 

“Not good. You’re asleep.” A voice said. 

Roman recognizes the figure of the stranger who had attacked him. Roman sat up too quickly and winced as his back cracked. “Where am I? Who are you? Why do you talk so weird?”

He sighed. “I wasn’t cursed at birth to only speak in lies.” 

Roman didn’t reply, wondering how that must be to live. It must be horrible. 

Eventually Roman said, “You.. you _saved_ me.” 

The figure snorted. “I didn’t get you into the mess in the first place. It wasn’t only fair.”

The figure turned and for the first time Roman caught a glimpse of his face. He took a sharp intake of breath as he saw what was on the stranger’s face. The snake scales dotting his cheek. 

“You’re part snake!” Roman gasped, backing as far away from the figure as he could. 

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” The stranger mumbled. 

“Sorry.” Roman said quickly. “Are you a Maledictus?” The stranger sighed and said, “No.” 

Roman cringed. Most wizards in America casted out people like this stranger. He must have felt intense rejection. “Um... where is my wand and what happened to the dragon? Oh, and what’s your name?” 

“The dragon isn’t fine. She isn’t my companion.” 

“You _tamed_ a Chinese Fireball?”

“No.” The stranger said offhandedly. ”and not about my name, just don’t call me Deceit.” 

“Weird, but ok. Deceit, if the Fireball is tamed, then why was she terrorizing people?” 

“She didn’t escape and get scared.” Deceit said. “Oh, and here isn’t your wand.” He held it out and Roman took it gratefully. “Thank you.”

Deceit sighed. “I’m not sorry.”

“I’m sorry for attacking your Dragon.” Roman said, winking. Something inside him didn’t want him to leave this mysterious wizard so fast. 

Deceit pulled him up, gripping his wrist with a gloved hand, and pulled him out of the tent they had been in. On the outside it looked like a cloth flap on a stick, but obviously it was furnished on the inside. Roman’s face grew hot, but he didn’t fight his feelings. 

He followed Deceit past several animal enclosures. “Do you have some sort of sanctuary?” Roman asked in awe, peering at the Niffler habitat and marveling the platypus-looking thing that fiddled with golden coins. 

“You couldn’t call it that.” Deceit agreed. He pointed to another pen, with a sleeping dragon curled up inside it. Roman stared in awe. 

“Oh- right! I need to report to MACUSA or else I’ll be fired.” Roman jumped up and pressed a small, impulsive kiss to Deceit’s cheek. Deceit’s face turned beet red. Roman smirked at him and flicked his wand, apparating away. 


	16. Leçon de français(Logince)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan is tired of having Roman use him as sort of a 'Google Translate' to translate English and even Spanish into French. But Roman is more willing to learn then Logan thought, and soon he ends up teaching the creative side French. But what was Roman's real reason to learn French?
> 
> TW: Censored Cursing

“Logan!” There was a knock on the door. 

Logan swiveled his chair around. “Come in.”

Roman burst in. “Can you help me? I need to translate something from French.”

“What is it?” It was a fact unknown to many that Logan was fluent in French. 

“Oui, oui, mon ami, je m’appelle Lafayette! The Lancelot of the revolutionary set, I came from afar just to say bonsoir, to the king. casse toi! Who’s the best? Ceśt moi.” Roman rattled off the lyrics from Hamilton.

Logan sighed. "Yes, yes, my friend, my name is Lafayette. The Lancelot of the revolutionary set. I came from afar just to say good evening to the king. Go away! Who’s the best? It's me. Honestly Roman, if you actually took time to look at other languages then you could translate things yourself. This is what you’d learn within your first week of taking French.”

“Eh. I’d rather just ask you.” Roman said. 

“I’m not Google Translate!” Logan snapped. “If you want to learn anything in this world you need to put in the time and effort. I will not translate anything for you from now on.” 

“What? But... but Lafayette!” Roman cried.

“Also if you had to pick someone from Hamilton to like, I suggest you pick someone who doesn’t get beheaded after his best friend refuses to send American troops to aid him even though he had promised to help France win its independence.” Logan said. 

Roman ignored him. “Fine. Teach me.”

Logan stopped. “Teach you?” 

“French.”

“Vous voulez vraiment que je vous apprenne quelque chose?” Logan questioned? 

“What?” Roman asked, confused.

“You actually _want_ me to teach you something?” Logan repeated. 

“Umm- si!” Roman said, smiling.

“That’s Spanish, Roman.” Logan said, sighing. 

“See? I don’t know French! Teach me!”

“Fine. Do you know any words in French-“ Logan started.

“Oui oui, mon ami, je m’appelle Lafay-“

“Not Hamilton.” Logan said, sliding his wheelie chair over to his shelf and grabbing a jar of Crofter’s.

“Bonjour. Also can I have some?” Roman said. 

“Roman, we’re in the mindscape. You can summon-“

“Oh, right!” Roman said, snapping his fingers. A jar of Crofter’s appeared and he flipped open the lid.

“I guess we’d better start at the beginning.” Logan sighed.   
  


**-~Hey look a time skip cause the author doesn’t know French-~**   
  


“Bonjour, je m'appelle Roman. Je suis gay et si vous n'aimez pas ça, partez.” Logan said. 

“Bonjour, je m'appelle Roman. Je suis gay et si vous n'aimez pas ça, partez.” Roman repeated. 

“And what does that mean?” Logan said. 

Roman scrunched his nose in concentration. Hello, my name is Roman. I am gay and if you don't like that, piss off.”

“Good.” Logan said, scraping the last bit of Crofter’s out of the jar. “I’m surprised you haven’t left yet. You usually don’t appreciate my teaching.”

Roman smirked. “Try me, Microsoft Nerd.”

Logan felt his heart speed up. His face warmed. _Am I becoming sick? It’s probably a minor allergy to pollen or something of that kind._ He dismissed it. 

**  
~-why am I an author oh look here’s another fricking time skip-~**

  
“Ce qui se passe” Logan said to Roman when he came to his room for his daily French lesson. The creative side had been unusually persistent with his learning. Logan has never seen Roman be so committed to something, especially not learning a new language.

“ _What’s up_? Is that some French slang?” Roman snorted, translating it. 

“Affirmatif.” Logan said, mildly amused. “Today we’re going to continue our discussion of common phrases. First we’ll review some of yesterday’s with a short conversation. Bonjour, comment allez-vous?”

Roman squinted, trying to remember the words for something. Eventually he said,“...Je t'aime, Merci! Beau temps.”

Logan felt his face grow warm. It had been happening frequently lately. “Roman, you said, ‘I love you, thank you! lovely weather’ instead of ‘I’m fine, thank you! Lovely weather’. Also, it’s raining, so the weather isn’t exactly lovely.”

Rodman’s face flushed. “Sorry!” He said quickly. “I’m just really flustered. A tad tired, I suppose.” He admitted. 

“ Pourquoi? **(why)** ” Logan asked in French. 

"Honestly? Je ne sais pas **(I don't know** )" Roman admitted. 

Logan felt a tad bit of something rise within him, but he just pushed it down. He continued with the lesson. 

**= _What's this? What's this? This author's pretty lame.=_**

A month later Roman was still coming to his lessons daily. Logan was pleasantly surprised. He was teaching him ways to tell other people about the weather in French. He spoke to Roman while he sat on his bed. Roman sat on the floor.

"Quel temps fait-il? **(What's the weather like?)** "

"Il fait froid et neigeux **(It's cold and snowy)** " Roman replied. 

"We live in Florida. try again." Logan said.

Roman squinted. He seemed to be unconsciously moving closer. "Um... How do you say, 'It's really f**king hot in French?"

"C'est très chaud," Logan translated, leaving out the curse word.

"C'est très chaud.” Roman repeated. Somehow he had ended up leaning on Logan’s leg. Logan blushed and felt something inside him. An emotion. Quickly he realized something. Somehow, someway, he had learned to _feel_ things. 

He taught the rest of the lesson in shock.   
  


**Oof look another FRICKING TIME SKIP afaidiebejfovjdhsgwofkgkcpwjqgsofofbr**

It was November third. An autumn day. And Logan’s birthday. “Bon anniversaire!” Roman exclaimed in French. 

“You know French?” Patton asked. 

“Logan’s been teaching me.” Roman smirked. “Je parle couramment le français. **(I’m fluent in French.)”**

“Falsehood. Vous n'êtes même pas près d'avoir fini d'apprendre le français et vous le savez **(you’re not even close to being fluent and you know it)**.”

“Et si j'ai compris chaque mot que tu viens de dire? **(and what if I understood every word you just said?)** ” Roman asked, raising his eyebrows. 

“Êtes vous vraime- **(do you really-)** ”

“We get it. You’re smarter than us. Now can we please just open presents now so we can have cake?” Virgil snapped. 

“Affirmative.” Logan said, sighing. The weird thing with his warming face was happening again. He ignored it. Patton got Logan Crofter’s, and Virgil got him a book, “the complete guide to modern slang.” Roman got him a Hamilton CD.

Logan almost skipped cake before Patton told him that he had used Crofter’s in the icing. Then he had a slice and walked upstairs. **_(I’m lazy I know)_**

Logan stopped about halfway to his room. “Roman? Why are you following me?” He turned and looked at the creative side. 

Roman sighed. “Do you want to know the real reason I wanted to learn French?” he asked, coming closer. 

Logan swallowed, suddenly nervous as more and more feelings swelled up inside him. “Oui.” He whispered softly. 

Roman gripped Logan’s shoulders and pressed him gently up against the wall, smiling softly. “So I could tell you this.” He took a deep breath. “Je t'aime, Logan, et je l'ai toujours. Vous êtes belle et incroyable et vous êtes la personne la plus merveilleuse que j'aie jamais rencontrée. **(I** **love you, Logan, and I always have. You are beautiful and amazing and you are the most wonderful person I've ever met.)** ”

Logan gasped as the emotions tearing through his heart threatened to burst through his chest. His hands somehow made his way to Roman’s shoulders. He felt so many things at once. The world spun as he realized that he was full of joy and hope... but why? The commotion of things running though his chest, Logan realized, were all good. Wonder, pride, and hope filled him and filled him with warmth. It felt like when you drank a warm cup of tea and it ran down your throat and warmed you up. And Logan saw something else that made him gasp. 

Love. 

How had he not realized it before? He loved Roman with all of his heart. He loved him for who he was. He loved his passion and enthusiasm. He loved his everlasting joy and stubbornness. He loved _everything_ about the creative, whimsical side. 

Roman looked at him waiting for an answer. Logan took a shaky breath and felt a tear of happiness run down his cheek. “...Je t'aime, aussi **(I love you, too)**.” He whispered, so quietly he wondered how Roman had heard him. 

Roman’s smile filled the room. He pressed Logan against the wall and instantly brought his face to Logan’s in a passionate kiss, connecting their lips. Logan kissed back, unfamiliar to the touch but embracing it. He pulled Roman closer, wrapping his arms around him. Roman’s hands went to his hair as he smiled into his mouth. Logan ran his hands up and down Roman’s sides, and felt one of Roman’s arms snake around his waist. The other hand went to Logan’s cheek, and Logan smiled as Roman’s soft fingers stroked his skin. 

Logan broke away and smiled at the prince in his arms. Roman smirked. He pulled Logan closer and ran his hand through his hair. Logan blushed. 

Suddenly there was a flash of light. Logan turned to see Virgil holding up his phone. “Oh sh*t I forgot to turn the flash off!” He gasped, pocketing his phone quickly. 

“Run!” Patton squealed. They both turned and ran. Logan could see Virgil’s phone screen as he sent the picture to all of the other sides. 

Roman sighed. “I don’t much care if they know, honestly. Do you?” 

“No.” Logan said, wrapping his arms around Roman’s neck. 

“Good.” Roman said, literally sweeping him off of his feet and picking him up bridal-style.


	17. Spread your wings- Prinxiety w/ background Logicality and demus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by PastelCookieSkies on Quotev
> 
> Thomas accidentally calls Virgil a Dark Side, and now it's up to Roman to stop the anxious side from doing something he will regret.
> 
> TW: angst, depression, scars, attempted suicide

Roman was listening to Hamilton when he felt that familiar tug on his heart. Thomas was summoning him for another video. Quickly Roman sank down and appeared in front of the camera, still humming Guns and Ships. 

Virgil must have heard him humming the intro because he did the finger guns and started rapping along. “I’m taking this horse by the reins making redcoats redder with bloodstains!”

“Lafayette!” Roman sang. 

“And I’m never gonna stop until I make em’ drop, burn em’ up and scatter their remains! I’m-“ Virgil continued

“Lafayette!” Roman popped the word, adding extra emphasis. 

“Watch me engagin em’, escaping em’, enraging-“ Virgil was cut of by the Duke popping up and screaming, “I WILL KILL YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY TO REMIND YOU OF MY LOVE! DA DA DA DA DAT, DA DA DA DA DAY A DAT, DA DA DAT DAT DAY A DAT! DA DA DA DA DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA DA DA DA DA DA DAY A DAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” 

Virgil groaned. “My eardrums.”

Thomas grimaced. “You just ruined Hamilton for me.”

Remus waved his hands in the air. “It’s what I do best!”

Roman sighed. “You ruined our jam!”

Logan popped up. “Did someone say Crofter’s?”

“Anyway, do you know how long it’s been since I did that last Sanders Sides Q and A?” Thomas changed the subject. 

Patton giggled. “We only knew Logan’s name!”

“Oh yeah. You didn’t know yet that I existed. Welp.” Remus smirked and chewed his deodorant loudly. 

“Actually, that’s one of the reasons why I want to do another Q and A. Because I know that you and Deceit exist, the fanders can ask _you_ questions as well.” Thomas admitted.

“What kind of questions?” Remus asked innocently, batting his eyelashes. 

“Shut up.” Virgil muttered.

“I agree with this.” Deceit grumbled. 

“Too bad.” Thomas said, posting the hashtag #AskSandersSides. 

Instantly the requests started rolling in. “Ok first one... Logan, what do you love more, Patton or Crofter’s?” Thomas turned to his logical side. 

Logan’s face turned red. “I do not feel ‘love’, therefore I cannot answer this question.”

“He lied.” Deceit pointed to Logan, smirking. 

“Logan, your face is so freaking red.” Roman said. “We can all tell.”

Logan blushed harder. “Fine. I think... probably Patton, because without him Thomas wouldn’t be himself.” 

Patton squealed. “Awww, thank you!!!” 

“Preeeetty sure that’s not the only reason, but ok.” Thomas said. 

“Notice that Patton didn’t call Logan _kiddo_.” Virgil said, glancing between them. 

“I ship it.” Roman whispered softly so only Virgil could hear.

“Me too.” Virgil responded.

“Anyway, Virgil: who is your favorite side and least favorite side?” 

“I’m my own least favorite side.” Virgil said, sighing. 

“I will PhYsIcAlLy FIGHT YOU!” Patton hissed. 

Virgil sighed. “My least favorite side besides me is Deceit. Is anyone surprised?” 

Everyone shook their heads. Virgil pointed at Thomas. “Do you count as a side?”

“Nope.” Thomas said. 

“Well... I guess Princey is my favorite. But only because me and him go hand in hand. Not literally.” Virgil said quickly. “If he wasn’t there, I probably would have been much more... hindering than I already am.” 

I froze. “Virgil... you don’t hate me? After all the horrible things I said to you? All the nicknames I called you?” 

Virgil looked me in the eye. “I could never hate you, Princey.” He said softly. 

“Next question? Umm. Well.” Thomas hesitated before reading the question aloud. “Someone asked Deceit if he knew how hawt he was?”

“What?” Asked Deceit. 

“This question is repeated several times.” Thomas said. “Apparently the fandom thinks you are a, and I quote, ‘hawt snek boi’.”

“I mean well obviously. He’s the hottest one here.” Remus smirked. 

Everyone stared at him. Deceit blushed. 

“... anyway. I’m sending out a twitter poll: is Deceit a hawt snek boi?” Thomas said, posting it. 

A couple of minutes later, almost two thousand people had answered. “Um... according to the fandom, you are indeed a ‘hot snek boi’.” Thomas said, showing them the results. 93% of people who answered thought that Deceit was indeed hot. 

Remus smirked and wrapped his arms around Deceit’s waist. “Told you.”

Deceit froze and Roman snapped a picture. 

“Yes we all know you’re dating, let’s move on.” Thomas sighed. 

“No!” Deceit protested. 

Virgil snorted. “Definitely a lie.”

“Moving on.” Thomas said. “Deceit, do you have a name besides Deceit?”

“No.” 

“Was that a lie... I’m so confused. I guess we’ll find out later! Anyway... ooh! Someone wants to know what you look like in your true forms.” Thomas said, scrolling through his phone. 

“We look different for every person, therefore every single fander would see us differently. Chaos would ensue. I don’t think we can do that.” Logan said. 

“I will tell you that in our true forms, all of the light sides have wings. The dark sides don’t.” Roman added. 

“Oh cool.” Thomas said. 

“Well I’m done here.” Logan sunk out. Patton followed, presumably to eat a cookie. Deceit was gone and Remus with him. Only Virgil, Roman, and Thomas remained.

“Well, that was fun. Goodbye, princesses, princes, and non-binary royalty! _Peace out_!” Roman said. The camera turned off. 

Roman started to sink out, but Thomas stopped him. “Wait. The thing you said before, about all the light sides having wings? Does Virgil have wings?”

They both looked at Virgil. He sunk out without a word. 

“Oh! I’m so sorry Virgil...” Thomas said, realizing that he may have just inadvertently called him a dark side. 

“I’ll go check on him.” Roman said worriedly. 

As he reentered the mindscape, his wings extended from his back. They were covered in giant white and gold feathers, with red tips and a gold shimmer. In his true form, Roman looked the same as always except he had a sort of red glow to him that rivaled the sun in its brightness. He also had a golden locket around his neck. When you opened it, you would see his emblem and a mirror that was usually dark. Roman was pretty sure that it was a seeing mirror and it connected to another mirror somewhere in the mind palace, probably in a closet or something. He had always wanted to find his other mirror and see where it led him. 

He walked through the hallways of the mind palace, towards Virgil’s room. Quickly he peered into the living room and stopped in shock. 

Quickly he ducked back behind the wall. He summoned a selfie stick and used his phone camera as a mirror to see the living room. More specifically, Patton sleeping on top of Logan with his pure white wings wrapped around him. Logan was stroking Patton’s hair while he slept, his blue wings pressed against Patton. Roman made sure the flash was off and took a picture of the pair, sending it to Thomas quickly. He looked at the scene once more. “I ship it!” He said softly, looking at Logan. 

Logan looked up and glared at him, pressing a finger to his lips. Roman smirked and moved on, but not before sending the picture to Virgil as well. 

Soon he was in front of Virgil’s door. He cracked it open and looked inside, scanning the room for Virgil. He was nowhere to be seen. “Virgil?” He called softly. 

No answer. 

Worried, Roman pulled out his phone and used the app “Find Friends” to look for Virgil. **(Don’t ask me how this worked in the mindscape, I have no idea)** The app showed Virgil not near Roman, but in Roman’s room. 

_Why would he be..._ Roman spread his wings and took off, flying as fast as he could through the hallways. They were specifically designed to be wide and tall enough to fly in. Roman darted past the living room and took a shortcut through the indoor swimming pool. **(Again, don’t ask)** **.** He eventually ended up at his door and ran inside. “Virgil?” He asked. 

That’s when he realized that the door to his realm was open. 

_Oh no..._

Roman ran through the door and was suddenly in the middle of a forest. It was drizzling and damp all around. Since he was in his realm, he could command it to his will. Quickly he summoned a ball of yarn and threw it in the air. “Show me where Virgil is!” He told it. Instantly the yarn stretched out impossibly far through the forest, stringing through trees. It glowed a bright yellow, so Roman could see it from above the canopy. He took off, beating his wings as fast as he could to follow the yellow string. 

After a minute of working his wings to their limit, Roman found the end of the string. It led to... a cliff. **(This hurts to write oh ma poor anxious bean!).** Roman could see a shadowy figure looking over the edge. “Virgil! _No_!” He screamed. His voice was ripped away by the raging winds. Virgil didn’t hear him as Roman flew closer... closer...

he prayed with all his heart he could make it in time to grab him before he did something that would hurt Roman more than anything else that could ever happen. 

In that moment, time seemed to freeze. Roman knew that Virgil meant so much more to all of them than he thought. He knew that Virgil meant so much more to _him_ than he could ever know. 

In that millisecond where Virgil was hovering over the edge of the cliff, Roman realized something. 

He loved Virgil. 

Roman loved every part of Virgil, so, so goddamn much. He loved his laughs and his smiles. His good days and his bad. All of his emotions. All he wanted to do in that moment was to grab Virgil in his arms and wrap his wings around him tight. To protect him from the world. To tell him that even though he may not have wings, he was still a light side. 

He was still the side that Roman loves most. 

And that’s why Roman’s heart shattered into pieces as he saw Virgil fall down, down, down, so impossibly far, his hoodie whipping in the wind. Instantly Roman angled himself into a nosedive and fell towards him. He had to catch Virgil. He had to catch Virgil. He had to tell him everything he would never know because he had just given up. 

Roman saw the ground come impossibly closer and he reached out a hand. Virgil was only five feet away. He closed his eyes and braced for impact, knowing that this was the end of both him and Virgil. That they would die together. 

It didn’t come. 

Roman opened his eyes to see him still falling, the sea opening up to catch him. He continued to fall down, down, down, Virgil with him. _We’re in my realm._ Roman realized. 

He stretched out a hand and grabbed Virgil by the hoodie. His eyes were open in shock. Roman instantly opened his wings to catch their fall. 

Virgil looked at him, tears in his eyes. “Roman?”

Roman felt tears stream down his cheeks. He pulled Virgil closer as he let his wings carry them up. “Virgil. You can’t die.” 

“Why not? I just want it all to end. I-I lied to you all. I was never a light side.” Virgil sobbed. 

Roman wrapped his arms around him. “Virgil. You are a light side. It doesn’t matter if you have wings or not. You are the only thing that keeps me going each day... you are the fear that pressures me to work and make Thomas’s videos the best they can be. You are a light side, and don’t let anyone tell you differently. Especially not yourself.”

“Roman...” Virgil looked at him with wide, wet eyes. 

“Hug me.” Roman ordered. 

Surprisingly Virgil obeyed, wrapping his arms around Roman’s neck and snuggling his head into his chest. 

Roman beat his wings harder and the pair rose back to the top of the cliff. He landed, exhausted, carrying Virgil bridal-style. Roman sat on the wet ground and folded his wings around him and Virgil to make a tent from the rain. That’s when he noticed something.

“Virgil...” Roman whispered. “Can I take your hoodie off?” 

“Sure.” Virgil said. 

Roman unzipped the soaking wet garment and looked at the My Chemical Romance shirt that Virgil wore. Then he reached out and pulled a locket out from under Virgil’s shirt. In turn he pulled out his own. 

“Y-you have one too?” Virgil asked shakily. 

Roman nodded and opened his and Virgil’s at the same time, looking at the mirror in his. Instead of darkness, he could _see_ something this time. 

He could see Virgil staring into the mirror in his locket in awe. Which could only mean one thing: his and Virgil’s destinies were intertwined 

Roman shut the lockets and stared at Virgil. Virgil was looking downwards, sort of embarrassed. Then Roman pulled him into another embrace, enjoying the feel of Virgil’s bare arms against his. 

Then he looked more closely at Virgil’s arms and saw something that made him intake a breath. 

Faded scars littered his wrists and arms. Roman ram his fingers over them in shock. “Virgil...” he whispered. 

Virgil looked up at him with tears in his eyes. Roman didn’t say a word, instead raising Virgil’s arm to his face. He looked at Virgil, who gave him the slightest nod. 

Slowly but surely he pressed his lips against one of Virgil’s scars. 

Virgil cuddled closer to him as Roman kissed another scar up Virgil’s arm, then another and another. Virgil shivered when Roman’s trail met his shoulder. Then Roman turned his face toward Virgil’s and pulled him close, until their faces were mere centimeters apart. He wrapped his wings tighter around him.

Then suddenly Virgil grabbed Roman by the sash and pulled his face to Roman’s, smashing their lips together. Roman melted into the kiss and raised his hands to Virgil’s hair, running them through his bangs and pulling his face closer. Virgil felt Roman’s wings press up against his back and suddenly he realized that the light sides didn’t care that he had once been a dark side. They had taken him into their group because they _cared_ about him. Virgil pressed even closer and felt so many feelings blossom and increase hundredfold as he wrapped his scarred arms around Roman.

He felt so many things... happiness, hope, joy... love. And then Virgil realized that he would never have to put on a dark persona again to get the other sides to listen to him. For the first time in his life, Virgil felt... _loved._

The next time Roman opened his eyes, he saw that the rain had stopped. Virgil was looking at his own reflection in wonder. Extending from Virgil’s back, where there had been nothing before, was a pair of feathered black wings with purple tips. Roman let out a cry of joy and pulled Virgil into an embrace from behind. 

“Wha- how?” Virgil whispered, reaching out a hand to touch his new wings. 

“You _are_ a light side. You will never be a dark side again.” Roman said.

Virgil just opened his wings to their full length in awe, giving them a test flap. Then he jumped into the air and took off. 

Roman followed him as he soared through the air. He came up to him and gripped his hand. “I love you.” Virgil whispered, looking at the world below them in awe. 

“I love you too.” Roman said, pulling him in for another kiss. 


	18. Lip Gloss(Prinxiety)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil runs out of eyeshadow, and needs to borrow some of Roman's sparkly purple eyeshadow...

Roman smirked as he grabbed Virgil by the arm. “C’mon, Emo nightmare!” 

Virgil shook off the passionate side’s grip. “I have _legs_ , Princey. I can walk 20 feet. Let’s not make this any more awkward than it already is.” 

Roman shrugged, a small blush rising to his face. He opened the door to his room and led Virgil to his bathroom. 

“Do you _actually_ have black eyeshadow? Looks like you only have gay stuff.” Virgil asked as Roman pulled out a large makeup bag. To no one’s surprise, its contents were mostly glittery rainbow-colored eyeliner, lip gloss, and blush. There was also brushes, mascara, and foundation. Almost everything had some sort of sparkle to it. 

Virgil adverted his eyes from the colorful array of beauty supplies and focused on Princey, who was rummaging through his bag looking for the darkest possible shade of eyeshadow. “So? Do you have black?” 

“No. But I have the next best thing.” Roman triumphantly held up a small palette of glittery eyeshadow in shades of deep purples and blues. 

“Oh my- I am _not_ wearing that.” Virgil sighed. 

“Well, it’s the best thing I have!” Roman snapped. “Look, if you think any of the other sides have black eyeshadow, be my guest to go and ask them. But personally I think this is your best bet.” 

“Disney reference?” Virgil pointed at him.

“You know it!” Roman held up his hand in a high five and Virgil reluctantly slapped it.

Virgil sighed. “Of course I run out of black eyeshadow on the one day I might need it.” He reluctantly nodded. “I guess the purple is the best thing I can do.” _I can only pray that Thomas doesn’t film a video today..._ he thought as he reached out his hand to grab a makeup brush.

Roman snatches the brush up before Virgil could. “Nuh uh. _I_ am the only side allowed to touch my beautifully manicured makeup brushes.” 

Virgil stared at him. “Do you have a salon for your favorite items or something?”

“Yes. I do.” Roman said, looking at the makeup palette. “Now which color do you want?” 

“Wait wait wait. _You_... want to put makeup on _me_?” Virgil blushed slightly. 

“Yeah I do, emo nightmare.” Roman smirked. “Which purple?”

“I guess... this one.” Virgil pointed to a deep shade of purple, the darkest color in the palette. Roman nodded and flipped open the lid of the palette. He took the brush and gently started applying the eyeshadow under Virgil’s eye. Virgil shivered a bit at the tickling sensation. 

“Y’know, this takes a lot more layers than I thought.” Roman said. His hands brushed Virgil’s cheek, and Virgil felt his face grow hotter. 

“It doesn’t take as much when I just use black.” Virgil muttered, suddenly aware of how close Princey was to him. There faces were mere inches away from each other. His inner anxiousness begin to swell up inside him, but he forced it down. _Purple eyeshadow is better than nothing._

Roman finished with one eye and started with the other. Virgil noticed many things he hadn’t before, the way Roman’s cheekbones curved downward to his mouth, curled in a small smile. His forehead wrinkled in concentration. His brown eyes that Virgil could stare at for hours. His long eyelashes. The carefree way a single strand of his hair fell in front of his face. Somehow Virgil was so close to Princey that he could feel his heartbeat. _Thump. Thump. Thump._ It steadied Virgil and some of his anxiety faded and gave way to something else.

And then Roman backed up and looked at the makeup on Virgil’s face, nodding in approval. Already Virgil missed the warmth that Princey had provided. He sighed a bit. Little did he know that Roman’s face was just as red as his. 

“There ya go.” Roman grabbed Virgil’s shoulders and spun him around to look at the wall mirror. Virgil blushed harder when he noticed how red his cheeks were. Surprisingly, the purple eyeshadow... didn’t look too bad. 

“You like it?” Roman asked , surprised at Virgil’s positive expression. 

“It’s actually not as bad as I thought it was going to be.” Virgil admitted. 

Roman smiled, but quickly turned it into a smirk. “Told you so, hot topic.”

Virgil smiled. “Am I really that good looking? This is the second time, Princey. 

Roman’s face reddened. Virgil turned to leave, but before he could, Roman gripped his arm and spun him around. “I noticed your lips were pretty chapped.” He held out a tube of lip gloss. 

“Princey, that’s lip gloss, not Chapstick.” Virgil pointed out the obvious.

Roman smirked. “In my opinion, it works better.” 

Virgil sighed. “If it gets you to let me go, then fine. What flavors do you have?” 

“I have strawberry and cherry. I’m wearing strawberry lip gloss right now.”

Virgil took a deep breath. “I’ll have the strawberry.” He said. Before Roman could give him the lip gloss, Virgil grabbed him by the sash and pulled him impossibly closer. Roman barely had time to gasp before Virgil pressed his lips against Roman’s in a sweet kiss.

Almost immediately, Virgil pushed away and looked at Roman with wide eyes. “I-I’m sorry, Roman-“

“Don’t be.” Roman said, swiftly pressing Virgil against the wall and connecting their lips once more. Virgil melted into the kiss and pulled Roman closer, wrapping his arm around his neck. Roman’s hand went to Virgil’s cheek, and Virgil’s other hand to Roman’s hair. Roman pressed himself closer against Virgil, and Virgil could hear Roman’s heart beating in sync with his own. He smiled against Roman’s mouth. 

Suddenly there was a flash of light. Virgil jumped in surprise. “Oh s*** I forgot to turn the flash off!” Remus exclaimed. 

Roman disconnected their lips but still gripped Virgil’s hand. “Remus!” He snapped, summoning his sword. Virgil hissed at Deceit, who was smirking at him. 

Roman approached Remus menacingly. “No hey!” Remus gasped in mock offense, obviously not expecting Roman to raise his sword. Remus squealed like a baby and jumped to Deceit, gripping his arm tightly. 

Virgil gripped Roman’s arm, stopping him from actually swinging his sword. He looked at the two dark sides warily. “You two must at _least_ be dating.” He said after a moment. 

“No!” Deceit snapped, holding Remus tighter and teleporting away. 

Virgil watched them go. “You’d think that the deceptive side would be better at lying.” He remarked. 

Roman shrugged. “Well, I’m glad he’s easy to see through.” Without another word he grabbed Virgil and pulled him closer into a hug. Virgil buried his head in Roman’s neck. “I love you.” The anxious side whispered. 

“Love you too.” Roman smiled, stroking Virgil’s hair.   


**-Bonus-**

Deceit and Remus ended up in a dismal corner of the mindscape. Deceit sighed. “Well, _that_ didn’t fail at all.”

“At least we got blackmail.” Remus snickered, holding up his phone with a picture of Virgil and Roman kissing. 

Deceit smirked. “Well, I guess...” He turned to leave, but before he could, Remus grabbed his arm and spun him around so he was facing him. “One more thing.” He said, pulling Deceit closer. He pressed a small kiss to Deceit’s scaled cheek. “Roman wasn’t wrong.” He breathed. 

Remus felt Deceit’s arm snake around his waist. “You missed.” the deceptive side said, pulling him closer. Remus smirked and connected their lips, enjoying the feel of Deceit’s gloved hands running through his hair. He stroked Deceit’s cheek, his fingers skimming along his scar. Deceit smiled against his mouth and pulled him closer.


	20. Tentacles(Intrulogical w/ background Roceit, Theraxiety, and Sleepality)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus has tentacles, and Logan is intrigued and fascinated by them and how they feel pressed against his skin. Suddenly he has an overwhelming desire to kiss the intrusive side...
> 
> TW: Remus being a duke, Remus having tentacles, making out I guess? Idk 😐. By now you must know there’s gonna be censored cursing. Also God’s name used in vain.

Logan was in the kitchen, cleaning his dish. He had just finished eating a sandwich made with Crofter’s and whole wheat bread. No peanut butter. Just Crofter’s.   


Somehow he became aware of Remus’s presence. He sighed. “What do you need?” He asked, without turning to acknowledge the dark creative side. 

“Oh, just to show you something.” Remus said mysteriously. 

“Is it appropriate?” Logan sighed. 

“It’s not my d*ck, if that’s what you were wondering. Although I can show you that if you want me to.” Remus smirked. 

“No thank you.” Logan said. Quietly he turned off the sink. In the half-light, he tried to maneuver past Remus. But of course, the Rat Man pressed him against the wall. Logan would’ve struggled free if he hadn’t caught a glimpse of something... rather intriguing.

“Are those... _tentacles_?” Logan questioned, making no move to escape the trap of Remus’s hands pinning him to the wall.

“You know it, b*tch.” Remus smirked. Since they were alone, Logan saw no need to scold him for his language. After all, he used strong words all the time.

Instead he watched, somewhat intrigued, as six odd... _things_ unfurled themselves from the duke’s back. They were flexible and oddly smooth. Logan repressed a shudder as one curled its way over Remus’s shoulder and ran along Logan’s bare arm. It somehow felt... _enticing_ , in an odd way. Logan didn’t know what to feel. Actually, until now, he hadn’t really been sure that he _could_ feel things. But contrary to his prior beliefs, Logan’s brain was now experiencing chemical reactions more commonly known as emotions. 

Still Remus pressed closer to the logical side, and Logan felt a tentacle curl around his arm. Another made its way slowly up Logan’s shoulder and brushed his neck, traveling to his cheek. 

Logan felt his face grow warm. Remus’s tentacles were aggressive but kind, softly pressing him to the wall. Yet another wrapped hesitantly around Logan’s waist. Logan let out a small gasp and instantly the tentacles started to withdraw. 

Impulsively Logan’s hand went to the tentacle, stopping its retreat and moving it back into its place on Logan’s hips. It seemed to fit just right there. Remus smiled at Logan, moving closer still. Logan saw something else reaching for his chest, but this time it was a hand- Remus’s. He hesitated and looked at Logan for consent before letting his hand rest on Logan’s shoulder.

Logan stiffened a bit at the romantic touch but quickly relaxed. It felt... nice. For once he felt... warm. And joyful. Yes, that was the word. And a little bit... hopeful, for some reason. And something else... another feeling he couldn’t place. It filled him to the brim.

Remus came impossibly closer. Somehow, Logan felt... good. Like Remus’s touch wasn’t a bad thing. Remus’s cephalopod limbs were wrapping firmly around Logan’s arms, and the smoothness of the tentacles rubbing along Logan’s skin was almost too much for him to take. And still the tentacles pushed him against the wall, wrapping themselves gently around him, not to hurt him, but to protect him. Logan could tell that Remus’s tentacles were holding him like this because they symbolized Remus. They symbolized what Remus _felt_.

Sure, the duke often _looked_ revolting, disgusting, and demented. Sure, he acted in a way that was... immature, to say the least. But that was all a facade, a mask that Remus hid behind to make him look unreachable and therefore permanent. But behind that lay _this_. This was the real Remus, a part of Thomas that represented creativity. Without him, Thomas wouldn’t be who he is today. And Logan was grateful for that. Grateful that Remus cared for Thomas, even if it was in an odd way. So Logan didn’t protest as Remus’s tentacles stroked across his skin. He had to be honest with himself. And to be perfectly straightforward(even though he was gay)?

Logan wanted more. He wanted to hold onto Remus and wrap his arms around him and never let go. He wanted to let Remus’s tentacles loop around him and pull him close. He wanted to feel _more_ of the warmth that had been stirring inside him for the past couple moments. He just wanted to be closer and closer and closer still. He wanted to reach out, grab Remus by the opaque green sash, and pull the duke’s lips to his own in a messy, passionate kiss. 

And that’s exactly what he did. 

He felt Remus gasp in surprise at the unexpected feeling of the logical side’s lips against his. For a nanosecond he stiffened but quickly melted into the kiss, wrapping his tentacles loosely around Logan’s waist, arms, and neck and bringing his hand to the logical side’s cheek. Logan felt a tug at his neck, and he somehow knew that Remus had grabbed his tie and was yanking on it, forcing him to come closer. Logan didn’t hesitate to press himself against Remus. He didn’t notice the fact that they fit together perfectly, like two puzzle pieces. He didn’t care about the fact that Remus’s mustache brushed against his face softly. All Logan knew was that he felt like he could stay in this position for infinite amounts of time. He could just keep holding Remus’s soft, wonderful lips against his, forever and ever and ever. He could keep exploring Remus’s mouth, tasting every corner of it. He could keep coming closer and closer. He could keep standing as Remus’s legs wrapped around him and their cheeks brushed. Logan felt Remus’s hands run through his hair, and suddenly he was filled with so many positive emotions, joy and hope and serenity and _love_.

That’s when he realized it. 

Logan loved Remus, adored him with all his heart. That was why his touch felt so good. That was why he was enticed and not revolted by the rat boi’s personality. That was why he was the only light side who fully understood him. True, that enabled him to take him down, but also let him be the closest side to Remus. And that was why Logan had kissed him first.

Unfortunately, Mother Nature was a b*tch and made oxygen vital to life. After a couple minutes of kissing Remus, Logan was light headed. Slowly, regretfully, he disconnected their lips. Remus let out a small whine of protest, but Logan pulled him closer in a hug. There was no need to mention that Logan already missed the way Remus tasted. Remus’s tentacles enveloped him and Logan sighed, feeling more safe than he had ever before. He ran his fingers through Remus’s hair, smiling. 

“Wow.” Logan breathed into Remus’s ear. Remus smirked. 

“Wanna do it again?” Remus asked, enticing Logan with his touch. 

Logan’s face grew hot. He didn’t say anything. 

“Or we could do something else...” Logan could hear Remus’s smirk in his voice. 

“Shut up.” Logan murmured, stroking Remus’s cheek. 

“Make me, nerd.” Remus laughed. 

Unfortunately for him, Logan took that as an invitation to smash his lips into Remus’s once more. Remus has been expecting the gesture, and he parted his lips slightly as he pulled Logan closer, running his fingers along Logan’s cheek. Logan pressed himself against Remus and wrapped a hand around him, running his hands along Remus’s back. He stiffened slightly as he felt Remus’s hands running down his back.

Remus pressed Logan against the wall and ran his hands enticingly down Logan’s sides. Logan couldn’t take it anymore. He wrapped his legs around Remus’s middle, sliding one hand across Remus’s chest and one around his neck. Remus explored Logan’s mouth lovingly, and Logan just enjoyed the feel of Remus’s tentacles wrapping around him. It felt as if he was being hugged by four pairs of arms instead of one pair of hands and three pairs of tentacles. As the kiss grew more heated, Logan felt almost completely satisfied. 

Almost. 

But he couldn’t help wishing that Remus would grab him tighter and run his hands down Logan’s chest as he-

Logan didn’t get to finish his thought as he heard the door open. Immediately he pushed away from Remus, disconnecting their lips abruptly. But not fast enough to stop a stunned Roman from seeing their kiss for a millisecond. 

“Logan? You and my brother?” Roman asked, but then shook his head. “Never mind. I just came back from a date with Deceit, so I guess I’m not one to talk.”

Deceit came in and pressed a small kiss to Roman’s forehead, making the light side blush uncontrollably. “Eh. I /haven’t/ been shipping you two for years.”

“Roman- you did WHAT?” Virgil sprinted down the stairs, followed by a flustered Emile trying to calm his boyfriend down. 

“I’m /not/ dating Roman.” Deceit said simply, wrapping an arm around him. 

Virgil hissed at him before being stopped by a crushing embrace from Emile. Eventually he relented. “Fine. But if you hurt _one atom_ on his body...” he left the sentence unfinished. 

“I /wouldn’t/ never hurt him.” Deceit murmured. 

Virgil quickly turned to Remus. “Also, you have _tentacles_?” 

“Don’t be mean, kiddo!” Patton exclaimed, popping up. He was holding Remy bridal-style. 

“Hi dad. Hi mom.” Virgil waved to each of them, then turned back to Remus and narrowed his eyes.

“Well _duh_. I have to be extra.” Remus smirked. A discreet tentacle was still wrapped around Logan’s waist. 

“Ew.” Virgil wrinkled his nose. 

“I have to agree.” Emile hugged his boyfriend tighter. 

“OH MY GOD YOU’RE JUST LIKE URSULA!” Roman screamed. 

Remus smirked. 

“I think it’s sort of interesting.” Logan murmured, red-faced. 

“Of course you do.” Virgil facepalmed.


	22. Blanket(You guessed it PRINXIETY)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman and Virgil fight over a blanket. Tooth-rotting fluff ensues

Roman sat on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, cuddled up to Virgil. He was watching Mulan for the seventh time. This time was the best, though, because he was watching it with his boyfriend. 

“Let’s get down to business... to defeat the HUNS!” Roman murmured along with the song. 

Virgil appeared to be sleeping. He pulled the blanket off of Roman. Roman gripped the blanket and tugged back, pulling it over his knees. Virgil stubbornly gripped the blanket, pulling it close around himself. Roman sighed and tried to yank it back over himself, to no avail. Virgil had taken full possession of the blanket. 

Roman didn’t give up. He scooted closer to Virgil and gripped the blanket tightly in his fingers, pulling hard. The blanket slid upwards a tiny bit to cover Roman’s waist. Virgil whined in protest, holding the blanket tighter. _He’s cold_. Roman thought. 

“Fine. You can have the blanket.” He whispered, cuddling close to Virgil and sighing softly. Virgil murmured a soft “thanks” and wrapped his arms tightly around Roman. Roman pressed a soft kiss to Virgil’s hair. Virgil wrapped his legs around Roman’s middle, sitting on his lap. He nuzzled his forehead into the crook of Roman’s neck. Roman didn’t need a blanket. He had his boyfriend.


	23. Summer Camp(Prinxiety w/ background Demus and maybe a bit of Logicality and Remile if you squint)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil's parents send him off to summer camp. While at camp, Virgil meets some very interesting people, such as Logan, Patton, Remy, Deceit, Remus, and his super hot brother Roman. After a pride parade, water balloon/water gun fight, a game of capture the flag, and a camp out under the beautiful summer sky, there is no doubt about it: Virgil is in love.

Virgil swung his backpack over his shoulder and sighed, his feet crunching softly on the rocky gravel path as he walked towards the cabin. His parents were sending him to summer camp for three weeks while they went to a wedding on a cruise in the Bahamas. Of course they didn’t want to take their son along. He was just the annoying gay cousin in a family half full of homophobes. So instead they just shipped him off to Maine for half the summer. It wasn’t as if he would _mind_ spending an entire month in a place with no WiFi or electronics(sarcasm intended). 

The cabins were each run by a counselor, as in a college student. There were cabins for girls and boys, and even one small cabin for non-binary (pals)campers. This camp seemed to be ok so far. Ish. **(I don’t know what I’m writing)**

Virgil swung open the screen door to the cabin and was immediately met with the eyes of seven other people. They were all boys his age. Two of them looked too alike for it to be a coincidence, so Virgil assumed they were twins. They both had tan skin and were about the same height, and their eyes were the same shade of brown. One had a small spray of freckles across his face and the other had a few streaks of silver in his bangs. The one with freckles wore a white t-shirt with a Gryffindor emblem on it, and the other had a black shirt with silver and green stripes. The one with freckles also had a rainbow pin on his bag that looked to Virgil like a pride flag(could be gayer). Aside from the twins, there was a boy with round glasses, a blue shirt, a gray cardigan wrapped loosely around his shoulders, curly hair, pale-ish skin, and a smile on his face. Sitting next to him was a pale boy with framed rectangle glasses wearing a black collared shirt and a tie, even though it was literally the middle of summer. There was a boy with what looked like a fedora and a black shirt with a yellow collar, one side of his face had an odd birthmark on it that made it look like he had scales **(idk what to do for Deceit this is the best I got)**. Across the room from him was a kid sipping what looked like iced coffee out of a Starbucks cup. He had sunglasses and was wearing a black leather jacket in the middle of July. Next to him was a guy in a white t-shirt with the crystal gems on it( **this is Emile I didn’t want him to suffer with a jacket in the middle of summer** )The older person that Virgil assumed was a counselor was sitting on a bed. He had a red shirt with a yellow star in the middle, like Steven Universe.

“Uhhh.... hi.” Virgil murmured, slinging his bag off of his shoulders and putting it on the nearest empty bunk.

The counselor looked at a sheet of paper. “Virgil, right?”

Virgil nodded. The counselor looked at him with a smile and held out his hand for a handshake. “I’m Thomas. And I think that since you’re here it’s time for a NAME CIRCLE!” He exclaimed, looking at the other kids. 

“Woo!” The twin with freckles whooped, pumping his fist in the air.

“This happens every week.” Logan informed Virgil, looking at the boy who had whooped with contempt.

“Because it’s a good bonding experience! Remy, Emile and Virgil are new this week, so let’s make it fun for them!” Thomas exclaimed.

“Make it fun how?” The twin with the silver hair smirked, doing some sort of shimmy dance. 

“Shut up, Remus.” The other twin groaned, kicking him in the shins.

“Ok when it’s your turn would you please say your name, pronouns, how long you’re staying at camp, something interesting about you, and your sexuality(but only if you’re comfortable)” Thomas said. “Roman, you go first!”

The twin with freckles jumped right in. “Hi! I’m Roman, he/him, and I know every single word to Hamilton! I’m staying at camp with this idiot,” he paused to shove his brother, “for the whole summer because we hate our homophobic parents. And I’m gay and single!” 

“I am not an idiot!” Roman’s twin snapped.

“You eat deodorant.” Roman said.

“Fine. I’m Remus, also he/him, and I have a special talent for making everyone around me extremely uncomfortable!” Remus exclaimed, doing jazz hands. “I’m gay!” 

“Oh, my turn?” The boy with the bowler hat said when everyone looked at him. “Call me either snake or Deceit. I don’t care which one. He/him, please. I’m staying at camp for three weeks, and I guess I’m a pretty good actor? Oh, and I’m also gay. Your turn, Patton.” 

The boy with the cardigan around his shoulders began. “Hi! I’m Patton, he/him, and I call everyone kiddo even if they’re older than me! I’m also staying for the whole summer, and I’m gay!” He poked the boy with a tie next to him. 

“Hello, I am Logan, and my pronouns are he/him. I am staying here for the whole summer and I am gay. Oh, and I can solve a rubix cube in under a minute.” He said, adjusting his glasses.

“Damnnnnnnnn, we’re all gay here!” The boy in the leather jacket smirked, sipping his coffee. “Hi babes, I’m Remy, he/him please. I call everyone ‘babe’ no matter their gender identity. I’m staying here for another three weeks and I am also, you guessed it, gay.” He did finger guns to the person next to him.

“Do you how do? I’m Emile, he/him, and I can and will quote cartoons on the daily. I’m also a self proclaimed therapist, and I’m staying here for three weeks. And I’m straight.” He looked them all straight in the eye before snorting. “Pshhhh heck no. I’m as gay as all of you. Next!” 

Everyone looked at Virgil. Virgil hid inside his hoodie and mumbled, “um, hi I guess? I’m Virgil, and I have crippling depression.” 

“Vine reference. Nice.” Roman pointed at him.

Virgil cracked a small smile. “My pronouns are he/him, and I’m staying here for three weeks as well. And I am also gay.”

“Nice. Hi everyone! I’m Thomas, your counselor, and I am also he/him! I am in my freshman year in college, majoring in musical theater, and I am also fully one hundred percent homosexual!” He said.

Remy whistled. “I don’t think you can get any gayer than this cabin.”   
  


**———— the wild time skip is a fierce and deadly animal. It is...————————**

“Here are your schedules for this week! And yes I know it sounds like school, but instead it’s swimming out to the floating dock, dodgeball, camping out, and canoeing instead of math and science!” Thomas exclaimed, handing them each a paper.

“Pride parade with the Art Barn! _Yes_!” Roman shouted, pumping his fist in the air. Virgil looked at his schedule and saw that he had that, as well as swimming, performing arts, and wood carving. He saw that Roman also had performing arts. 

“Hey! You want me to show you where the Art Barn is, kiddo?” Patton asked, walking up to Virgil. It was odd that Patton called everyone his child, but somehow, Virgil didn’t mind. “Sure.” 

The art barn was, literally, a barn. It was a small, old building that looked like it was rotting on the outside, but on the inside, it was somehow cozy and welcoming. Two long wooden tables extended half the length of the barn, their surfaces splattered with spilled paint. The other half was taken up by shelves and shelves of paper, fabric, paint, pencils, markers, paintbrushes, hot glue guns, string, duct tape, and almost every other kind of art supply that you could imagine. Virgil sat down hesitantly at a bench, and Patton and Roman sat on either side of him. 

“Hello, guys, gals, and non-binary pals! In case you don’t know me, I’m Joan, they/them, and I am the head counselor of the Art Barn!” A person with black hair and an orange beanie greeted the campers. “I hope that none of you are homophobic, because today, we’re gonna be making rainbow things out of paper and/or fabric and parading around camp! I don’t think I have any rules except don’t be mean! Ok, let’s go!” Joan clapped their hands and instantly most of the campers rushed to the back of the barn, running to grab paper, tape, and whatever else they would need. 

“C’mon, Emo Nightmare!” Roman said, grabbing Virgil’s hand and dragging him to the back. 

“A nickname already? You literally met me like 12 hours ago.” Virgil joked. 

“I give everyone nicknames. My brother’s the trash man, Deceit is snek, Patton is dad, Thomas is Thomas the _dank_ engine, and Logan is Microsoft Nerd. I’m working on one for Remy but I’m thinking something like espresso depresso?” Roman said. 

Virgil snorted. “If you give everyone nicknames, you need one.” He looked Roman up and down while grabbing multicolored sheets of construction paper. “I’m thinking Princey.” He said, noticing the odd sash Roman had adorned and the paper crown he had made. 

“I like it!” Roman said, taping orange paper and red paper together. 

“If you’re the prince, then your brother is gonna have to be some other kind of royalty. I’m thinking something like the lord? Or the duke?”

Roman’s eyes lit up. “Like the Duke of Weasalton from Frozen!” 

Virgil snorted, remembering the odd character. “That settles it. Remus is now officially called Dukey.” 

  
**———— is that a TIME SKIP I see?—————**

Virgil finished his sign just as Joan called everyone to line up and march around camp. Virgil’s sign was rainbow colored and read “Love is Love!” Roman had a giant cardboard sign with many many strips of multicolored paper. It said, “Could be gayer!” Patton had gone above and beyond by sewing together strips of fabric to create an _actual pride flag_. He wore it wrapped around his shoulders now with a grin. 

After the parade Virgil dropped off his sign at his cabin and headed to the waterfront for swimming. He was an ok swimmer, so he did fine. Wood carving was basically the same, as Virgil avoided cutting himself. He headed to performing arts.

Once there, the counselor had them share their favorite musical, and their favorite song from that musical. Once it was Virgil’s turn, he said, “um... Say My Name from Beetlejuice.” 

“Yes, b*tch!” Remus said, high-fiving him. “I am literally Beetlejuice!”

“I like Hamilton, and my favorite song is probably The Battle of Yorktown. Lots of action!” Roman said. 

“Ooh, my favorite is most definitely The Whole Being Dead Thing from Beetlejuice! Although Say No To This from Hamilton is a close second.” Remus squealed.

“Eh. I’m with Roman. I like Hamilton. Probably also Say No to This or maybe We Know?” Deceit added.

“You monsters! Why do you enjoy Hamilton cheating on his wife so much?” Roman asked, backing away. Remus snorted at his brother’s discomfort.

**—— insert intro to Forbidden Fruit here——**

It was three days later, more than halfway through the first week of camp. Virgil and Roman has become close friends. Right now Roman held a finger to his lips as he handed a water balloon to Virgil silently, then pointed to Deceit about 50 feet away, tanning himself on the floating dock. Virgil immediately knew what he meant. He was already in his bathing suit, and he waded silently into the water until he couldn’t walk anymore. Then he kicked slowly into the water until he had almost reached the floating dock, Roman right behind him. Careful not to alert Deceit, Roman held up his fingers. “One, two, _three_!” He mouthed silently.

Virgil and Roman each gripped the sides of the floating dock and headed themselves up. Deceit looked at them curiously. Then Roman launched a water balloon at him, hitting him right in the face. It exploded, soaking Deceit’s towel. Virgil threw his at Deceit, too, splashing him with water.

“You little sh*ts!” Deceit hissed, getting up. “REMUS! Get the waterguns!” 

“Already got them!” Remus appeared it seemed out of nowhere. He handed Deceit a super soaker. Deceit smirked at Roman and Virgil. “You’re going down, b*tches.”

“Abort mission!” Roman hollered, cannonballing off the dock. Virgil dived into the water, barely avoiding Deceit’s water gun blast.

**———OH FRICK A TIME SKIP————**

  
Virgil and Roman were playing capture the flag. The sports and games counselor took a red washable marker and drew a red line across Virgil’s and Roman’s foreheads. This meant that they were on the same team. Virgil high fived Roman and brought him over to where Logan and Patton were. They were on the red team as well.

“Hey Romano!” Remy called from the blue team. He was joined by Deceit and Remus.

“Oh my- welp, here’s to hoping that nickname doesn’t last.” Roman sighed.

“Please, Romano.” Virgil smirked. “We’re gonna beat their asses.” 

“You got that right!” Roman fist bumped Virgil, Logan, and Patton.

“Logically we need to have some sort of tactic. I will guard the flag. Roman and Virgil, you try to get the other team’s flag. Patton, you guard the jail.” Logan said.

Roman shrugged. “Sounds legit.” 

“Ok. I will hide the flag. Everyone c’mon.” Logan said, leading them into the woods. Once out of sight of the other team, he changed direction and shoved the bright red strip of cloth under a root so it was completely invisible from above. But if you stepped back about 20 feet, you could clearly see the red if you looked in the right place. “Nice.” Roman complimented Logan.

“I know.” 

A whistle blew in the distance. “Sh*t.” Roman and Virgil said at the same time. They both took off.

Virgil hopped over the stone wall that separated the territories and ducked behind a tree, breathing hard. He had no idea where the flag was, but he followed Roman deeper into enemy territory. Suddenly Roman crouched down. Virgil ran next to him and followed suit. “What is it, Princey?” Virgil panted.

“Shhh! Deceit.” Roman gestured to the figure maybe 20 feet away from them. He was standing by a tree, looking bored. 

Roman creeped around the clearing, trying his hardest not to step on a twig and alert Deceit to their presence. He stepped softly, but inevitably a twig snapped under his shoe. Deceit glanced their way, alert.

But then a figure emerged from the trees and Deceit smirked. He said something. Virgil was too far away to hear but he guessed that he was greeting Remus, who had come to visit. 

“Damn it.” Roman whispered. “The only way is a distraction.” 

“Wait.” Virgil said. “Maybe he’ll go away.”

They waited in silence. Remus approached Deceit, smirking as he got closer and closer. Closer than you would normally have to get.

“My god. Is my brother really doing this _now_?” Roman sighed.

“I bet they were already dating.” Virgil whispered, “Now _shh_.” 

Remus got closer and closer, until he was seductively standing maybe a half a foot away from Deceit. Roman watched, rolling his eyes, as Deceit reached out and grabbed Remus’s shirt, pulling him into a kiss. Remus wrapped his arms around Deceit’s neck, pressing him against the tree trunk.

“I’ve got an idea.” Roman whispered after about 10 seconds of watching this. He took out a digital capers and snapped a picture. “Blackmail.” He whispered. Then before Virgil could stop him, he strode confidently out into the clearing. “Damnnnnn.” He said loudly. “I didn’t think our cabin could get any gayer, but here we are.” 

“Oh my god- I hate you so much.” Remus said, breaking away.

“Agreed.” Deceit said. Then both Remus and Deceit bolted at Roman, who backed away slowly with a smirk on his face. He winked.

Virgil sprinted out of the trees and scooped up the flag, which was laying on the ground. Deceit whipped around. “Sh*t!” He exclaimed, running after Virgil. But Virgil was already halfway to his own territory. He could hear Deceit behind him, bolting through the woods. He was nowhere near Virgil. Virgil let out an cry of victory as he leaped the stone wall to his own territory.

“Yes!” Virgil whooped, a rare smile spreading across his face. Roman ran out of the woods after him, his mouth curled upwards in a gleeful grin.

**———hey prude your art is bad————**

  
It was maybe two days into the second week of camp. Their cabin was going to camp out in tents that night instead of in the cabin like normal. Virgil carried a sleeping bag, a pillow, and a flashlight as he trudged with his cabin, under the setting sun, through the woods. Past the soccer field there was a small path that Virgil hadn’t noticed before. It led them maybe a quarter mile into the woods to tent platforms and a fire ring. “Ok, people! Two or three per tent!” Thomas exclaimed, handing them all small tents and leaving them to figure out how to set it up. Eventually Roman showed Virgil how to bend the metal supports just right, slide them into little slots, and spread a canvas sheet over the frame. Roman unzipped the finished tent and hung a small electric lantern inside. The cabin had already eaten dinner, and the sun was setting. So after Thomas had built a fire, all they had to do was roast marshmallows. Remus would purposely light his on fire and wave it through the air, making Patton squeal and hug Logan. One time he actually jumped into the nerd’s lap, making him roll his eyes but pull him closer. Roman spent the entire time toasting a perfect marshmallow only for Remus to smack it out of the air with his own burnt stick. Virgil toasted a few marshmallows, and Patton just ate them out of the bag.

“Okay people! Lights out!” Thomas declared, sending them all to their respective tents. Virgil lay on the ground. Roman sighed. “Deceit and Remus are sharing a tent.”

“Oh. That’s not good.” Virgil remarked. “I hope they’re not doing anything.” 

“Knowing my brother, they’re definitely doing something.” Roman muttered. 

Virgil nodded and rested his head on his pillow, trying to go to sleep. He laid there for an hour, listening to Roman’s breathing. But when he was about to go to sleep, he heard the tent unzip. Virgil watched as Roman left. He tried to ignore his lack of presence, but eventually his curiosity got the better of him and he followed Roman’s flashlight beam through the woods

Virgil followed Roman through the dark, the leafy path crunching softly under his feet. Roman’s flashlight was the only thing lighting his way. Roman just kept walking, seemingly unaware of Virgil’s presence. Eventually the worn trail gave way to the grass of the soccer field. Roman made his way to the center of the field and sat down in the dewy grass. Virgil barely had time to kneel down before Roman sighed and reached behind him, gripping Virgil’s hand in his own. Virgil stiffened but didn’t say anything. Roman glanced at him, his flashlight projecting on his face and making his normally tan skin appear paper-white. “I wanna show you something.” He whispered softly, a small smile curling across his face. 

Virgil nodded. Roman gripped his hand tighter and reached for the flashlight. Then with a swift movement, he turned it off and the pair was in pitch-darkness. 

Virgil almost let out a muffled shriek, but Roman’s other hand reached up and covered his mouth gently. Virgil shivered at the gentle touch. “Shh.” Roman whispered. “Just look up.”

Virgil obeyed, turning his eyes upwards. He let out a gasp as his eyes adjusted. “Holy sh*t.” He whispered. 

Spread out above him was an uninterrupted view of an exquisite summer night in Maine. Hundreds, maybe even thousands of stars were scattered aimlessly across the night sky. The beautiful pinpricks of light faded away to darkness at the edges and in between, and the deep indigo-black of the empty sky filling the space between the stars was somehow one of the most amazing colors Virgil had ever seen. There were more stars than Virgil had ever seen in one place. No words could describe the beauty of the night sky at that point. Even pictures of the Milky Way were nothing compared to the real thing that you could see on a clear summer night.

Virgil tore his eyes away from the landscape and glanced at Roman. He was gazing at the sky, his mouth open in wonder. The dim light of the stars somehow lit up his features... his chiseled face, his sloped cheekbones, his deep brown eyes, his bangs carelessly falling down over his forehead, the way his nose sloped softly down to his smooth cheeks and his lips. Virgil looked at Roman’s lips for a few moments more as if he could capture them by just looking at them. 

And then Roman glanced at Virgil and Virgil tore his gaze away, trying to make it seem like he hadn’t been staring. Epic fail on his part. Roman smirked slightly and scooted closer, taking note of Virgil’s shiver. 

“You cold, hot topic?” He asked. 

“Aww, you think I’m hot.” Virgil remarked. 

Roman took a deep breath. “Yes, actually, I do.” He said. Virgil didn’t flinch as Roman slowly came closer and gripped Virgil’s hand in his own.

Virgil sighed. “That makes one of us.”

Roman didn’t hesitate to pull Virgil closer and wrap his arms loosely around his neck. Virgil stiffened, fully aware of every point his skin was coming in contact with Roman’s. 

Roman’s eyes flitted questioningly to Virgil’s lips, then met his gaze. Slowly, hesitantly, Virgil raised and lowed his head in a nod. 

Then Roman gripped Virgil by the sweatshirt and pulled him closer, effortlessly connecting their lips in a kiss. But this kiss wasn’t passionate. No, it was soft and sweet with just the right amount of warmth. Virgil wrapped his hands around Roman’s waist and Roman’s arms encircled his neck. Their lips seemed to fit together just right. 

But unfortunately, oxygen was a thing. Slowly, sadly, Virgil disconnected their lips. Roman smiled at him. 

“I love you.” Virgil whispered softly. Roman raised a hand to Virgil’s cheek and stroked it softly. Then he pressed his lips to Virgil’s again in a more passionate kiss. Instantly Virgil responded, reaching a hand to run it through Roman’s hair and smiling against his mouth. Virgil had somehow ended up sitting in Roman’s lap with his legs wrapped around him. Roman gripped him by the hoodie and pulled Virgil closer, parting his lips. Virgil let Roman explore his mouth. He tasted like cinnamon and faintly of almond and pumpkin. Their lips moved in sync and Roman ran his hands down Virgil’s sides. Virgil felt the warmth of Roman’s cheeks and pressed even closer, pressing his chest against Roman’s and enjoying the feel of his fingers in Roman’s hair. Roman’s hands ran tantalizingly down his back and sides, his bare arms wrapping tightly around Virgil.

When they eventually broke apart, Roman smiled at Virgil. “We still have a week and a half of camp left.” 

Virgil smirked. “Let’s make the most of it.”


	24. A/N(Roceit part 2 I guess?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm too burned out to write a part two to Wizarding World: Roceit... sorry! Feel free to use this prompt, just credit me...

So I know I said I was gonna make a part two of the Rociet one shot I made like three weeks ago, but I’m not. I’m just feeling a bit(a lot) burned out and I don’t really know how to put my ideas down on paper. So here’s a brief summary of how it would’ve gone. If anyone wants to take this suggestion feel free to I’m just too burned out(and suffering from writers block) at the moment 

I usually write one of these before every one shot I write so I can keep the storyline straight(gay)

Roman is an aurour trying to hunt down a dragon but it’s been tamed by deceit who is a snake Maledictus. and deceit’s been cursed to only speak in lies. Then Roman gets hit by a rockslide and deceit saves him Then he shows him his animal sanctuary and they fall in love but MACUSA won’t let them be together because they’re idiots so they run away. so yea👍


	25. Remile(background Logicality, Dukeceit, and YOU GUESSED IT MORE FRICKING PRINXIETY)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a world where the first thing your soulmate will say to you is tattooed on your wrist, Emile is dumbfounded. It's almost impossible to imagine someone desirable who would first greet you with a, 'Sup, b*tch'. That it, until he meets Remy.
> 
> TW: Censored cussing

Emile was walking through the hallways, his suitcase clicking on the tiled floor. _Dorm 19_ , he thought, checking his key once again. He adjusted his tie as he approached the door. Cautiously he unlocked it and opened it into a hallway. 

The hallway had beige wallpaper, and pictures hung up on the walls. They were just generic photos of landscapes such as a city skyline, a snow-covered mountain, and a long, sandy beach. One picture was different though. On a small wooden table pushed to the side of the hallway, there was a propped-up photo frame with a picture of two people. One had round glasses, a pale blue shirt, and a gray cardigan wrapped around his shoulders. The other person was holding the boy with the blue shirt bridal-style, with a small smile on his face. He had a black shirt, rectangular glasses and a striped blue tie. 

Emile smiled. He was majoring in therapy, specifically couples therapy. Maybe he could observe how these two acted around each other. He took note of the fact that there were no words on either of the people’s wrists, meaning that they were probably soulmates. 

Emile has yet to meet his soulmate. He didn’t know what to think of that. It was hard trying to imagine someone lovable who would say the words, “Sup, b*tch!” upon meeting someone new. Emile traced his fingers across his wrist where the words were inscribed permanently. 

“Salutations.” A voice sounded from behind Emile. He tore his gaze away from his wrist to see the same person with the tie from the photo smiling at him and holding out his hand for Emile to shake. “Are you our new roommate?”

“Yep!” Emile said, shaking the guy’s hand. “I’m Emile.”

“I’m Logan. I noticed you have a pretty nifty shirt.” He gestured to Emile’s Avatar: The Last Airbender shirt. 

Emile smiled. “Thanks, I-“

“Hi!” A bubbly voice lifted above Emile’s. “Logan, is this our new roommate?” 

“Yes. Patton, this is Emile. Emile, my boyfriend Patton.”

“Hi kiddo! And yes, I do call everybody kiddo. Even if they’re older than me.” Patton said, shaking Emile’s hand vigorously. 

“Your room is down there if you want to unpack. These are me and Patton’s rooms.” Emile looked past the door to see one room full of bookshelves and another with shelves of what looked like old binders and notebooks, as well as a couple posters of kittens and puppies. “Through there is the kitchen and the lounge. We have one other roommate, Roman, who is at theater at the moment. That’s his room.” Logan pointed to a door cracked open to reveal a room full of Disney posters, Broadway merch, and lots and _lots_ of rainbow things. 

“Thanks!” Emile said, cracking open the door to his room to reveal a bed, a closet, a wheelie chair and a table, with blank walls except for a small TV in one corner. A blank slate. Emile smiled and began to unpack. 

Two hours later, there was a rainbow comforter spread over the bed. On the table was a salt lamp, an essential oil diffuser, a photo of his family back home, and a Stitch stuffie. There was a beanbag and a couple pillows in the corner that Emile had hauled in from his car, and a couple extra blankets thrown on top of the beanbag for good measure. There were at least twenty cartoon-themed posters adorning the walls, and for the finishing touch, a pride flag was tacked above Emile’s bed. **(Damnnnn I wish my room was like this XD)**

Emile went into the kitchen, where Patton had already ordered a pizza. Another person was in the kitchen, dressed in some sort of prince suit.

“Hi! I’m Roman.” The guy said. “I would shake your hand but I’m really sweaty at the moment, so...” he trailed off. 

“It’s fine. I’m Emile.”

Roman smirked. “I hope you’re not homophobic, because my boyfriend Virgil’s coming over soon.”

Emile laughed. “Heck no. I’m gay, in fact. Still haven’t met my soulmate yet, though.”

“I met mine!” Patton exclaimed, wrapping an arm around Logan’s face. His face reddened. “Patton!” He exclaimed, blushing. 

“Virgil’s my soulmate, as well.” Roman said. “You want some pizza?” 

Emile took a slice. “Well, I don’t know what kind of person my soulmate is. I can only imagine what kind of person would first greet someone with a ‘Sup, b*tch’.”

Roman snorted loudly. “Sounds a lot like-“

There was a knock on the door. Roman stopped. “I’ll get it!”

Maybe a minute later, Roman came back in with a guy wearing a black and purple hoodie and black eyeshadow. “Sup.” He said, waving at Emile. “I’m Virgil.”

“And he’s taken!” Roman shouted, scooping up Virgil in his arms. Virgil blushed. “Ew. You’re covered in sweat, Princey.” 

“Well, theater is exhausting. I have to pretend to be _straight_.” Roman complained. 

Virgil wrinkled his nose. “Ew.” 

“I _know_.” Roman said. 

Virgil shoved him. “Take a shower, Princey.” 

Roman smirked. “As you wish.”

After Roman left, Virgil turned to Patton and Logan. “Oh, guys, my cousin Remy is coming over tomorrow. Do you mind if he joins us for dinner? I’ll pay.” He added. 

“Sure! I’m not gonna turn down a free dinner.” Patton said. 

“Me neither.” Logan agreed. 

**———de next day———**

Emile smiled as he laid on his bed, watching Finding Nemo for the sixth time. After his first day he had gone to the store and bought a color-changing light, and the rainbow was being cast across the room. He pulled out his phone and texted Roman **(don’t question how he got his number)**

Cartoon Therapist: hey when is your boyfriend coming over with food? I’m starving

Gay Disney Prince: maybe ten mins? I’m almost done with theater and then I’m picking him up. Oh, and my brothers coming tonight as well

/ _ **Nerd** has joined the conversation_/

Nerd: Wait, what?

/ _ **Pop Star🐶** has joined the conversation_/

Pop Star🐶: 🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶

Pop Star🐶: is his boyfriend coming as well?

Gay Disney Prince: I think so.

/ _ **emo nightmare** has joined the conversation_/

emo nightmare: wait that means i need to buy like three pizzas

emo nightmare: im a por college chiold plz send help

Nerd: *I’m *Poor *Child *Please

emo nightmare: watever 

Nerd: *Whatever

Cartoon Therapist: I can help you buy the pizzas if you want

emo nightmare: haha you’re all going to hell

Gay Disney Prince: What?

emo nightmare: sorry Remy took my phone

Gay Disney Prince: ah. Well I’m gonna come pick you two up now.

Cartoon Therapist: does that mean I can have pizza soon?

emo nightmare: hopefully

/ _ **emo nightmare** has logged off_/

Emile turned off the tv and went to the kitchen. Patton was sitting on Logan’s lap on the couch. Logan was absentmindedly stroking his boyfriend’s hair, and Patton had his arm wrapped around his soulmate. Emile took a picture of them before sitting down on the couch with them. 

No sooner had he gotten comfortable than there was a knock at the door **(no idea if I worded that right... whatever)**. Patton kissed Logan’s cheek and went to open the door. Logan blushed. Emile smiled. _They’re so cute and pure_ , he thought. 

No sooner had the word _pure_ crossed his mind when someone came barreling down the hallway and into the kitchen, screaming, “F*CK THIS SH*T I’M OUT!” 

Emile turned to look at him, shocked. He was also wearing a prince outfit from theater, but it was black with a green sash. This was probably Roman’s brother. 

“Shut up.” Roman ordered, following him into the kitchen and setting several boxes of pizza on the counter. 

“Make me.” Roman’s twin smirked. 

Roman rolled his eyes. “Deceit, make him shut up.”

“Gladly.” A boy with a black hat, a black shirt with yellow trim, and gloves pulled Roman’s twin into a kiss without hesitation. 

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Remus, if you’re gonna make out with Deceit, please do it in the hallway where we can’t see you.”

Remus picked Deceit up bridal-style and pulled him into the hallway, where they presumably resumed. Logan looked at Emile. “This happens every time. Don’t worry.”

 _They seem to be the kind of couple who’d enjoy physical touch more than other love languages_ , Emile noted. “I don’t mind.”

“Where’s Remy?” Patton asked.

Roman sighed. “He went to get a coffee. He insisted he’d be b*tchy without caffeine.”

“He’s always b*tchy.” Virgil muttered.

“More b*tchy than on average.” Roman clarified. 

Emile are a slice of pizza, observing how Roman’s and Virgil’s fingers stayed intertwined just so as they ate. Eventually Deceit and Remus came in from the hallway and ate dinner as well.

There was a rapping knock on the door. “That’ll be Remy.” Virgil said, going to answer the door. 

Soon enough a man in a black leather jacket and sunglasses came in, sipping a cup of iced coffee. “Hey babes.” He said.

Logan sighed. “For the last time, we are all male, Remy.

Remy smirked. “Does it look like I care? I am the (male) queen of denial.”

“A queen cannot be male.” Logan said.

Remy gasped in mock offense. “Eh. Could be gayer. Two male queens.” 

“Why do I even try...” Logan facepalmed.

Remy then noticed Emile, someone he had never met before. He strolled up to him and sized him up, his eyes flicking from the therapist’s feet to his eyes. After a moment he smirked and held out a hand to shake Emile’s. “Sup, b*tch.” He said.

“Wait-w-what?” Emile stuttered with a sharp intake of breath. “What did you say?”

“Sup, b*tc.... _oh_.” Remy gasped and at that exact moment Emile felt a strange warmth spreading through him, running through his veins and filling him with feelings of happiness and joy. With shock Emile glances down at his arm. The words, ‘ _sup, b*tch_ ’ that had been tattooed there for his entire life were _fading_. Which could only mean one thing...

“You’re my soulmate.” Emile breathed, looking at Remy in awe. He too was looking at his wrist and the fading words, ‘ _wait-what? What did you say?_ ’ Then he looked up at Emile. Slowly he came closer. Emile knew what he was about to do. And he was fine with it. 

Without warning Remy gripped Emile’s tie in his fingers and yanked him closer, closing the gap in between them and smashing their lips together in a kiss. Emile kissed back, his hand coming to rest on Remy’s chest. He brought his other arm to Remy’s head and ran his hands through his hair.

“Wow. What a plot twist.” Virgil remarked.

“Damnnnnnnn.” Remus whistled. “You two are f*ckin unfiltered.” 

“Language!” Patton scolded.

“Hypocrite.” Remy snapped, connecting their lips once more.


	26. Coming Out(platonic reader x everyone)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the female reader comes out to Thomas and his sides as non-binary, how will they react?
> 
> TW: censored swearing (remys in it what do you expect?), crude humor, I guess sexual immendo(blink and you’ll miss it), fear of rejection, Remus being himself
> 
> Requested by Cropoosified on Quotev

I took a deep intake of oxygen. Thomas, Roman, Patton, Logan, Virgil, Remus, and Deceit were all glancing at me expectantly. “I have something to tell you guys.” I started, more nervous than ever.

“What is it kiddo?” Patton asked, sort of concerned.

“Before I tell you... do you promise not to laugh?” I ask, my face growing red with shame. _Why can’t I just be normal like everyone else?_

“I promise.” Thomas said. I knew he spoke for all his sides when he said that. It sort of reassured me. I took a long, shaky breath. _It’s ok, this is Thomas. Him of all people is sure to understand me._

“I-I-“ I started, but then broke off. 

“Don’t worry. You can tell us.” Virgil said. It was a bit ironic that the embodiment of anxiety was reassuring me right now, but honestly, in this moment, I didn’t care. 

“I’m non-binary!” I blurted out suddenly. 

For a split second that felt like an eternity, Thomas and his sides stared at me, shocked. _Now you’ve done it. You’ve ruined a good friendship because you don’t fit into any group. You should’ve just stayed in the closet. Why are you so complicated? How hard is it to be_ normal _like everyone else?_

Then Thomas pulled me into an embrace, wrapping his arms around me. His sides joined in, Patton cuddling into me like I was a puppy. Even Deceit wrapped several pairs of arms around me. Remus refrained from making a dirty joke about my biological sex. 

“I would never be mad at you for that, (y/n). Hell, my friends Joan and Talyn are both non-binary. I care about you, no matter what your pronouns are.” Thomas whispered. 

I felt a tear run down my cheek. “Thank you so, so much.” I whispered.

“Do you want us to help you transition?” Roman looked at me with a smile on his face. 

“Tha-that would be nice.” I sniffled, crying tears no longer of sadness, but of joy.

**~le time skip~**  
  


I followed Remy into Walmart, smiling as he took my hand. “Hey b*tch.” Remy said endearingly. 

I smiled as he led me to the clothes section. There were so many options **(every fish in the sea wants to kiss you- no tiktok references? Ok well)**. 

No longer bound by the chains of gender, I was free to choose whatever outfits I pleased. Grabbing a multitude of jeans and sweatpants, a Steven universe shirt, a gray sweatshirt, and a couple of other shirts, I went to the changing room. 

I studied my reflection in the mirror. I liked how the jeans felt on my legs, and the hoodie felt like a warm hug. But one thing was missing.

“I think this would look a lot better if I cut my hair.” I said.

Remy smiled at me. “Appointment already scheduled,” he said, holding up his phone. 

**~le time skip 2.0~**  
  


I came out of the haircut place feeling so much more free. My shoulder-length hair had been cut messily just above my ears. It now had a few streaks of red and blue in it, and my pierced ears had cat earrings in them. I loved myself so much more now, and it was thanks to Virgil, who had driven me to and from the haircut and had even paid. 

When I got home, I found some binders on top of my comforter. There was a note on top of them. _Sincerely, Logan_. It read. I put my hand over my mouth to stifle a cry of pure joy. I had never felt this loved. And it was only getting better.

**~le time skip brought to you by Raid Shadow Legends~**

One day Deceit came up to me and handed me a yellow, white, purple and black decoration. It was a non-binary pride flag. I was so overcome with joy that I just tackled him into a hug right then and there. He hugged back, surprisingly, two pairs of arms wrapping around my torso. 

When I would have trouble sleeping because of nightmares about rejection, surprisingly Patton wasn’t the first to sense my pain. No, it was Remus. He would somehow know the second I woke in a cold sweat and he would come to my room, wrapping his arms around me. I would sink into his embrace, so grateful for the gentle touch that I didn’t mind waking up to him smirking at me and saying, “kinky.” 

When I would come home from school, Patton was always there. He would hand me a cookie and tell me dad jokes until I laughed. then he would hug me and whisper, “we’re so proud of you. We always will be.”

And Thomas was my rock. He was the one thing that kept me going through the darkness. He had helped me so, so much, and I didn’t know how I could repay him. But I soon found a way to help him. I would be there for him on the days where Remus was a little too loud, Logan a little too pushy, or Deceit too... well, you get the point. I would balance him like he had me, help him find his way. And when he was feeling down he would fall into my arms, and I would embrace him and take care of him the way he had taken care of me.


	27. Will You Excuse Me?(Demus w/ a little tiny bit of background Prinxiety)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit decides it's time that Thomas experiences all of his creativity. Remus thanks him in his own unique way.
> 
> I KNOW it looks like Deceit is a bottom here but don’t worry.... Remus bottoms everyone and you cannot change my mind. and this isn’t smut. Just very much IMPLIED smut. I’d say.... 12+? Ish?
> 
> TW: Probably the closest I’ll ever get to smut, implied past/future sexual activity, Deceit and Remus being Dark Sides, body horror once again(SiX aRmS), heavy making out, plotting, spoilers for bloopers video, Deceit being a hilarious Disney villain(trying to get revenge on Thomas for neglecting him without realizing that he would make the entire fandom scream and make Intrulogical ship art instead of being horrified by said perverted rat man), crappy writing skills

Deceit sat on the couch and scrolled through the calendar on his phone, smirking when he saw the date. June 25, 2019. Right under that Thomas had written, “Filming for YT”. Another Sanders Sides. And the way the last episode in that series has gone, there was no doubt that Thomas wanted to make a silly, light-hearted video. 

Unfortunately for him, Deceit wasn’t happy with the way “Selfishness vs. Selflessness” had ended. And he was going to make the Light Sides regret neglecting him. 

_I think it’s about time for Thomas to experience_ all _of his creativity..._

Deceit was forced out of his plotting by a jolt of dull pain shooting through his back. He sighed. “Hello, Remus.” He said, yanking the knife Remus had rammed through his chest out of himself without flinching. One of the many..... _perks_ of living with Remus.

“Hiiiiii, Dee!” The dark creative side bounced over to Deceit and jumped onto the couch, swinging his mace dangerously. Deceit ducked and continued to scroll through his phone, setting a reminder to reveal the orange side on April 13th of 2020. 

“Thomas is filming a video today, Dee! Who are you going to disguise yourself as this time?” Remus squealed. 

“Nobody.” Deceit said, turning off his phone. 

“Wait, you’re gonna leave him _alone_? Who are you and what have you done with Dee?” Remus slapped Deceit’s face, who again didn’t flinch. Instead he smirked. “Hell no. Thomas isn’t getting rid of _me_ anytime soon. Or ever, for that matter.”

“Then what’re you gonna do? Show up as _yourself_? Oooooh, what if you took a bottle of dish soap and chugged it while looking my brother straight in the eye! His face would be _priceless_.” The Duke squealed.

“You should do that someday. I would record Roman’s reaction.” Deceit said, letting a rare smile skim across his face for a split second. For some reason he always let his guard down around Remus. Maybe it was because he was a fellow dark side. Maybe it was because Remus understood the hate Deceit was going through. 

Or maybe it was because Remus was Deceit’s boyfriend.

Either way, Deceit needed to make Thomas realize that he wasn’t the naturally good person he wished he was. And right now, the best way to do that was to show him that Deceit wasn’t the only Dark Side that had power over him. 

Deceit sighed, letting Remus lean on his shoulder. “The way the last video went... I don’t think I can successfully exclude Logan again. I don’t think that Thomas is as... bothered by me as he used to be. But I know a side he’ll definitely be repulsed by.” Deceit turned to Remus and looked him in the eye, smirking.

“Really?” Remus squealed, wrapping his arms around Deceit’s shoulders.

“Really.” Deceit said, cupping Remus’s face. “I think it’s definitely ‘high time that you dropped in’.” 

Remus’s hair brushed against Deceit’s hat as he smirked. “I see what you did there.” 

And then he leaned forward and Deceit met his lips halfway, kissing him for all he was worth. Remus gripped the collar of Deceit’s shirt and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. Two of Deceit’s arms snaked their way around Remus’s torso, another pair wrapping around the dark creative side’s neck. Remus explored Deceit’s mouth, running his hands through the deceptive side’s hair and knocking Deceit’s hat off of his head.

Deceit felt Remus’s mustache brush his upper lip. One of his gloved hands went to the back of Remus’s neck, pulling them closer and closer together. Remus, surprisingly, didn’t taste as gross as you would expect. Deceit’s hands explored Remus’s body, one hand trailing down his side, another caressing his cheek, and yet another resting on his boyfriend’s chest. He loved Remus for who he was. Sure, he seemed gross and immature on the outside, and he was still gross and immature on the inside **(I know on the outside he’s disgusting and even on the inside, _he’s disgusting..._ But doesn’t he- no more Beetlejuice? Ok)**. But that was one of the things the deceptive side lived about Remus, his unique ability to make Deceit laugh where all others had failed. The way he somehow knew exactly when Deceit was feeling down and the way he would never fail to comfort him. His odd humor. His complete randomness.

And his undying trust, something that he had given to Deceit without hesitation. It had taken a little time, but eventually Deceit let his guard down. Remus remained the only side Deceit would freely tell the truth around. 

Remus stroked Deceit’s scaled cheek softly and surely, and Deceit felt a small shudder run through his entire body. His scales were very sensitive, and the main reason he wore gloves, as the back of his hands were covered in them and one of his left palms had a couple scales scattered across it. One of his right hands was completely covered in scales as well. Deceit held back another shiver as Remus cupped his cheek, running his smooth, warm fingers softly across Deceit’s scales. With a gasp, Deceit pressed closer to Remus, two of his hands running through Remus’s hair. He could feel Remus smirking as he disconnected the kiss. Moments later Remus was pressing soft kisses to Deceit’s cheek and neck, Deceit pressing into each one. Deceit’s face stilled as his hands continued to roam Remus’s body. Remus’s trail of kisses made its way down Deceit’s cheek to his neck, then upwards again, until finally Deceit got bored and yanked him upwards, smashing their lips together once again. 

Remus tugged at Deceit’s shirt, but Deceit gripped his arm. “Not here. Not now. Later.” He whispered into Remus’s lips. Remus let out a small whine of disappointment but Deceit shushed him. “Just keep kissing me, whale penis.” 

“As you wish.” Remus whispered, smirking as he pulled Deceit in again. 

They continued making out on the couch until Deceit heard the soft whisper of an echo, a sleepy, trademark, “What is up everybody!”

“You know what that means.” Deceit said, breaking the kiss. 

Remus grinned at him. “It’s _showtime_!” He said, somehow doing an almost flawless impression of Alex Brightman as Beetlejuice. 

Deceit shoved him gently. “Indeed it is. Give him hell, will you?”

“You know I will. I wrote this song a year ago, and I’ve never gotten to use it!” Remus complained. 

Deceit frowned. _Maybe I should’ve revealed him sooner..._

Remus noticed the expression on his boyfriend’s face and gave him a quick, sloppy kiss on the cheek. “I’m just glad I get to make Thomas uncomfortable in person.” He smirked, shimmying. 

Virgil’s voice echoed throughout the dark mindscape. “We’re going to talk about something else now. Patton, what are we talking about?”

“Oooooh, they’re trying to distract themselves. You know what that means!” Remus exclaimed, nearly wiggling with excitement. 

Deceit smiled. “Break a leg.”

“I’ll break several!” Remus squealed. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go make a scene.”  
  


And now Deceit was watching Remus wreak havoc, only appearing for a brief moment in the middle of the Duke’s song. He snapped a picture of Roman lying face-first on the floor, and almost snorted out loud when he muttered, “no, mommy, I don’t want the mashed potatoes.” Virgil’s terrified expression at Remus’s appearance? Priceless. Patton’s horrified reaction to Remus screaming, “a GoLdFiSh iN A cOnDoM!”? Gold. And of course, Logan snorting his teeth out of his nose. 

And even as Remus lost his grip on Thomas, even as he resorted to screaming, “Poopy!” to get the Light Sides’ attention, Deceit didn’t care. Moments like these were what made Remus himself. 

Plus, Thomas’s reaction to Virgil being a former Dark Side? Awesome. 

Remus returned to Deceit after his show. “I’m sorry-“ he began, obviously not pleased by his own performance. 

Deceit jumped on him, embracing him in a crushing six-armed hug. With a surprised noise Remus hugged back, wrapping his arms around Deceit’s torso. For a while there they just stood there in each other’s embrace. 

You wouldn’t expect it, but Demus is just as fluffy as any other ship, sometimes even more so. (And its definitely a HELLA LOT more smutty ;))

  
**-~timeskip(DAYYYYYYYYYY O-)~-**

Deceit and Remus laid on their bed together, holding hands. Remus broke the silence. 

“My brother really is head over heels for Virge, isn’t he?” 

Deceit smirked. “Naturally. You’re brother’s also an idiot.”

“Not as much of an idiot as ME, though!” Remus said proudly. 

Deceit chuckled fondly and rolled over, pressing a kiss to Remus’s cheek and stroking his mustache. 

“You missed.” Remus said, connecting his lips with Deceit’s. The kiss quickly grew more heated, with Remus soon tugging at Deceit’s clothes. And this time Deceit didn’t stop him. 

...Let’s just say they had a fun night.


	28. Watching the Sunset(Prinxiety)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman and Virgil decide to go to the beach to watch the sunset... and admire how hot the other is.
> 
> Requested by Silverfish Lupin-Black on Quotev

Virgil grabbed the blanket from the trunk wordlessly, making sure that he had his flashlight. Roman cracked a small smile as he grabbed the cooler, one hand gripping the handle and another intertwined with Virgil’s. They set off down the path, the sun just beginning to dip towards the horizon. 

Once they had walked a quarter mile, the bracken beneath their feet gave way to soft sand. Nobody knew about this private beach on the edge of Roman’s small property except for Roman and Virgil. And why should they? It was small, a tiny 20-foot semicircle of sand at high tide. Small waves lapped gently at the sand, and the salty water was only a couple inches deep for about 10 feet out. Tide pools of warm seawater disappeared slowly, evaporating into the air, only to be inevitably refilled. Virgil took off his sandals. 

Roman had taken the blanket from Virgil and was now spreading it out on the warm sand. He smoothed our the final wrinkles and set the cooler down. Virgil joined him on the blanket and waited, holding his hand. 

The sun touched the horizon. 

Colors were strewn across the sky in waves of red and yellow and orange and white and blue fading to black at the edges. A few cotton-ball clouds were drifting lazily past as if the sun wasn’t disappearing. The reflection of the sunlight and darkness alike on the ocean took Virgil’s breath away. The small sliver of a crescent moon shone softly in the sky above. It looked as if someone had dipped a paintbrush in colors and scattered them aimlessly but somehow perfectly across the sky. For a magical moment both Virgil and Roman admired the setting sun. 

Then their attention turned to each other. 

Virgil admired the way the light projected itself onto Roman’s chiseled features like a spotlight. The curve of his neck. The smoothness of his skin. The way his hair curled ever so slightly. His beautiful brown eyes with flecks of gold, so subtle you would never notice them unless you were looking for them. Virgil felt like those eyes were lakes-no, _oceans_ of feelings, deep enough that you could drown in them. The small blush of his cheeks. The glow of his expression. The slope of his forehead down to his nose and eventually to his lips. His beautiful, beautiful lips. 

Roman met Virgil’s eyes. 

No words were said. 

Subtly, things began to change. A small brush of the arms. Scooting a couple inches closer to the other. Laying a hand on the other’s knee. 

Virgil enjoyed the warmth of Roman’s hand on his back. 

Somehow the crook of Virgil’s neck was now occupied by Roman’s head. 

Virgil’s hand was draped carefully around Roman’s shoulders and came to rest on his arm.

Roman’s arm was wrapped around Virgil’s torso. 

Virgil’s other hand cupped Roman’s cheek. 

Roman’s hand was playing with Virgil’s soft hair. 

Virgil slowly brought Roman’s face level to his.

The sunset was forgotten as their lips met passionately. Roman’s face was warm, and Virgil’s hands cupped his cheeks. Roman’s fingers were running through Virgil’s hair, a hand resting softly on his chest. Roman explored Virgil’s mouth. He tasted like cinnamon and almond and spices and _Roman_ , Virgil’s personal favorite. Virgil pulled Roman closer and deepened the kiss. Eventually they were just making out and exploring each other’s bodies, hands running from chests to arms to faces to sides. 

They were definitely in love. 

Behind them, the last glimmer of sunlight faded from the horizon, leaving the pair under a blanket of stars.


	29. Manticore-Chimera(DLAMP)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit is just casually spying on the light sides on their date. He's totally not jealous. But then the manticore-chimera shows up and suddenly, everyone is at risk. And the only way to save the light sides... is to work with them.
> 
> TW: censored swearing, sympathetic Deceit, Manticore-Chimera, blood/gore, almost dying, body horror?(six arms), ANGST, like four snake puns
> 
> Requested by JadonnioJadonnie on Quotev

Deceit sighed, looking at himself in the mirror. The curls of hair atop his head refused to cooperate. He ran a comb through his hair in one last halfhearted attempt to tame it before giving up and flipping his hat onto his head.

He went to the kitchen only to find a note on the counter in Roman’s handwriting: _Light sides out on date in imagination. See you in a couple hours!_

 _Of course_. Deceit thought. The four light sides were all dating each other. It was an odd arrangement, but it somehow worked.

Suddenly Deceit felt a small urge to go into the imagination. _Why?_ He asked himself. But his brain was as confusing as always. 

He ignored it and sat down, scrolling through social media. Nothing really sparked his interest. Finally, he put his phone on the table and sighed. 

He drummed his fingers on the table. The door to Roman’s room was cracked open and Deceit could see the door to the imagination taunting him out of the corner of his eye. 

Not really knowing what he was doing, he walked into Roman’s room and pushed open the door, stepping into the imagination. _It’s just for a walk_ , he told himself. 

But he found himself tracing Roman’s steps to a clearing in the woods with a picnic blanket spread over the grass. Deceit ducked behind a tree, peering out to see Virgil sitting in Roman’s lap, Patton hugging Logan, and Roman pressing a kiss to Logan’s cheek. 

It felt odd watching someone else’s date. Deceit was both repelled and intrigued by the scene in front of him. He scaled the tree and continued watching. 

For about five minutes, this intimate sharing of cuddles and kisses continued. But suddenly a cloud blocked the sun. Everyone looked up and at least half of them screamed at what they saw.

“Sh*t!” Roman swore, backing away and raising his sword. Virgil’s face was paper-white with terror, Logan’s wore a mask of shock, and Patton’s eyes were stretched open wide in fear. Because standing over the four boyfriends was a huge animal with a goat head, a lion head, a snake head, a scorpion tail, a lion-like body, and huge bat wings. It let out a roar and even Deceit flinched away at the heat emitting from its glowing red-hot jaws. 

“It’s the manticore-chimera.” Roman breathed. Without a second of hesitation, he turned and pushed Virgil toward the path. But the manticore-chimera had other plans. It swung its scorpion-like tail over its head and slammed it into the ground, blocking their escape. It snarled once again and thick, gnarly thorns emerged out of nowhere and wove themselves in between the trees, creating an impassable circular wall surrounding all five of them. Unnaturally large, sharp thorns extended from the vines, ready to strike and draw blood. Deceit looked around himself, panicked. There was nowhere to go. 

They were trapped. 

It was like a battle arena. Deceit crouched in his tree, hiding behind the leaves. He saw Patton let out a scream, Virgil frozen in fear, Logan hugging Patton, and Roman facing the manticore-chimera, a look of determination on his face. 

Deceit could’ve sworn he saw the monster smirk as its snake head lashed out at the foursome, fangs dripping with deadly venom. Roman slashed at it with his sword but missed. Deceit felt the snake scales on his own face in horror. He had never felt so... _invalid_. 

_I should help them_. The thought crossed his mind. _I can’t_! He thought miserably, using two of his six arms to grip tightly to a tree branch and peeking through the leaves. _Roman can handle the manticore-chimera... right? He’s a prince! And once he does, I can go back to the mind palace and they’ll never know I was spying on their date together_. 

“You are _not_ hurting my boyfriends!” Roman snapped, swinging his sword at the manticore-chimera. The monster only lowered its goat head and ran straight **(gay)** at Roman. Its horns curled menacingly, their sharp ends jabbing straight forward. _It’s like a battering ram_ , Deceit realized in horror. 

Roman saw what the beast was doing a little too late and quickly shoved his sword into its sheath with a _shink_. Standing his ground, he raised his hands halfway up his chest, tensing as the manticore-chimera rammed right into him. 

Roman grabbed the beast by the horns and somehow flipped himself over, cartwheeling through the air. He landed on the monster’s furry back and gripped its horns, knuckles white from grabbing the smooth bone. He somehow managed to hold on with one hand as the beast bucked under him, trying to knock the prince off of its back. 

“Roman!” Virgil shouted hoarsely, looking at his boyfriend’s face in horror. Roman looked at Virgil and anxiety pointed to something rising menacingly behind Roman. 

When the creative side had gotten on the manticore-chimera’s back, he had failed to realize that one of its heads was a flexible snake, and that it could bend backwards to reach Roman. Roman looked at it and immediately swung his sword at it with a yell. The sword glanced off of the snake’s scales like they were made of metal. The snake’s teeth bared. Roman has only succeeded in angering it more. 

The prince struck once again, this time aiming for the snake’s mouth. His sword clashed with the snake’s fangs. The snake reared back, revealing that it had a missing fang. Roman has somehow knocked one of the snake’s teeth out of its mouth and it lay there, on the grassy ground. Venom still dropped from its tip, withering the foliage around it to a brown dead state. 

The lion head of the manticore-chimera roared in pain. Roman did a backflip and landed on the ground, a small amount of blood running down his cheek. _The horns caught him_ , Deceit thought in horror. Patton screamed and the monster snarled. Both Logan and Virgil had somehow ended up standing behind Roman. 

“ _Nobody_ hurts my kiddos!” Patton snapped, putting on a brave face, but he shrieked when the beast snapped at him, kind of ruining the statement. 

The manticore-chimera arched its scorpion tail over its head, menacing and ready to strike. Roman pulled Virgil out of the way just in time, a microsecond later the barb of the scorpion tail was swung down in the spot where he had just stood. Roman has just saved his boyfriend’s life.

_They could_ die. The thought crossed Deceit’s mind as Roman’s sword glanced off of the creature’s hide again, as if it was wearing some sort of invisible armor. _Roman created this creature to be an example.... but now it’s actually a_ real _threat_. 

Deceit saw Virgil’s eyes, wide with terror. Patton’s sobbing face. Logan’s shocked expression. And Roman breathing hard as he spun to evade any and all attacks from the manticore-chimera, blood flowing steadily down his face and dripping off his chin. 

And he somehow knew that however scared he was, he had to help the light sides. Because his purpose was to protect Thomas, and he couldn’t do it without these four. 

Silently he slid down the tree trunk and concentrated, shifting his image. His snake scales were replaced by smooth skin, and his black cape disappeared, turning into a white suit with a bright red sash and golden embroidery. A sheathed sword appeared at his side. His left eye remained a piercing yellow, though, so the others could tell the difference between him and the real Roman. He peeked out from behind the tree and saw the manticore-chimera lash out at the light sides again, jaws snapping. Roman had somehow gotten even more wounded, blood soaking his shirt. 

Deceit burst out from behind the tree trunk. Nobody noticed him at first, as they were all a bit preoccupied. Then Deceit ran up behind the wounded Roman, who was breathing hard and gripping his side with one hand while blocking strikes with another. He slid in front of him. “Wait-what?” Roman gasped. Virgil looked at them in shock, and Logan just stared before coming to his senses and yanking Patton out of the way of another hit. Deceit winked at them before swinging his sword and striking the beast’s side. The manticore-chimera turned at him and snarled. 

Then Deceit realized he hadn’t really made a battle plan. Or any plan, for that matter. So now that he had the monster’s attention, he didn’t know what to do to avoid getting killed himself. 

So he did the only logical thing. 

He bolted. 

Deceit ran and hid behind a tree trunk. Like he had hoped, the monster followed, roaring menacingly. Deceit gripped Roman’s sword and swore as the beast ran towards him. He dove inwards, striking at its chest. The sword made no impact. After a few more jabs Deceit concluded that the sword could not hurt it. He would have to find another way. 

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Roman stagger towards the manticore-chimera, his own sword raised. Somehow he looked less threatening when covered in his own blood. Virgil stood behind him, shakily holding a pocketknife. Logan had picked up a tree branch and Patton raised his fists. _They’ll get themselves killed!_ A panicky voice in Deceit’s head said. 

Deceit dropped Roman’s sword and shifted back into his original body. As he ran, the beast still chasing him, he thought, _there has to be another way! Roman must’ve created this thing with some form of weakness!_

Soon Deceit was cornered by the manticore-chimera. His thoughts were racing as fast as his heartbeat as he backed slowly into the thorny wall. _Why did I decide to follow them? Why didn’t I just think things through before listening to my impulse? I am_ Deceit _. The bad guy. The villain. So why did I come? Why do I feel this way?_

As the manticore-chimera raised its lion paw to strike Deceit down for the last time, time seemed to slow. And Deceit realized something.

He hadn’t followed the light sides into Roman’s realm because he was curious. No, he had followed them because he was lonely. Because he received no love whatsoever. Because nobody really cared about him like they did about the light sides. He was just _Deceit_. The liar. The unwanted side. The “main mean girl”. The unreachable one. The dark side. The only (known) side who hadn’t revealed his real name. The invalid one. The side who only made things worse. The side who didn’t want to help. The side that _shouldn’t be a part of Thomas_. 

Deceit was all of those things and more. But he also didn’t want to be just _Deceit_. 

He wanted to be loved. 

And the light sides were the only ones who could provide those emotions. So in wanting to be loved, Deceit had developed feelings for each light side in turn. Logan’s somehow adorable nerdiness, Patton’s purity, Roman’s extravagance, and Virgil’s insecurity were what made Deceit want to know them better, want to get more involved with them.

These characteristics were why Deceit _loved_ the light sides.

And he didn’t want to die without telling them that.

Time sped up and out of the corner of his eye, Deceit caught a glimpse of white. Roman had somehow reached behind him and pulled him out of the Manticore-Chimera’s reach. The creative dude’s face was covered in sweat and dried blood. He was breathing hard, but he shot a cocky grin at Deceit. “Not such a slimy boy after all, huh?”

“Shut up.” Deceit mumbled. Patton had joined Roman in standing by Deceit. Logan was standing protectively in front of Patton and Virgil was right by Roman, standing as far away from Deceit as he could while still close enough to jump in front of his boyfriend if necessary. 

Deceit was in close proximity to all four of the light sides. And his face was a burning, blushing red. At least he could blame it on sweat. 

He was jolted out of his thoughts by the roar of the manticore-chimera. Its lion jaws were wide open, and Deceit could somehow feel heat emitting from them. “Run!” He snapped without a second thought, shoving Patton and Logan out of the way. Roman dove out of the beast’s grasp and Deceit impulsively tackled Virgil to the ground as a burst of fire shot from the Lion head’s mouth. They rolled in the grass, backs singed from the searing heat. 

The human side of Deceit’s face was blushing hard. He pulled Virgil up and dragged him away from the manticore-chimera. Virgil pushed aww from Deceit and sunk into Roman’s waiting arms. Patton and Logan ran over to help as well. 

“That b*tch singed my hoodie.” Virgil growled. 

“Oh he did not just- THAT IS THE LAST STRAW!” Roman exclaimed, raising his sword once again. Then Deceit saw it. 

A flash of white in the grass, maybe ten feet away. The snake fang that Roman has hacked out of the snake’s mouth was lying on the ground. _If Roman’s sword won’t hurt it, then maybe something from its own body will..._

The manticore-chimera ran at them again, its mouth open threateningly. Roman tried to back away, only to realize that he was pressed against the wall with Virgil, nowhere to go. It was now or never. 

Deceit grabbed the snake fang, hissing as the venom stained his gloves. He quickly took them off. All six of his hands were covered in scales, the reason he wore yellow gloves in the first place. Like he had suspected, the venom didn’t affect his scales. He gripped the long fang in his hands and ran at the monster. It was lashing out at Virgil and Roman. Virgil screamed. 

And Deceit rammed the snake fang right into the manticore-chimera’s side. 

It let out a loud roar of pain and turned on Deceit, who gulped. Deceit gripped onto the snake fang and pulled it out of the manticore-chimera’s side, leaving a large, bleeding wound. As fast as lightning, the beast sliced its claws across Deceit’s chest, leaving several deep gashes. Blood immediately spread, soaking Deceit’s cape. He stumbled and fell to his knees, his head spinning. 

Faintly he was aware of a roaring sound, and he knew that the manticore-chimera had won. It was going to breathe fire all over Deceit and burn him to a crisp. 

And then someone gripped one of Deceit’s many hands and pulled him out of the way. Deceit made out the face of Virgil. Of all people he had expected to save him... Virgil has not been on the list. **(Apologies for horrible grammar, currently 12:07 am)**

“You-you saved me?” Deceit whispered. 

Virgil shrugged. “Yeah, well, fight or flight, am I right?”

Even if he had almost died, Deceit realized that he couldn’t hear the manticore-chimera any longer. He peered at the ground and gasped to see it fall over, the wound in its side glowing red. Its body faded as if Deceit had just won a video game. 

But Deceit hadn’t really won, had he? He was still crumpled in Virgil’s arms, bleeding from a fatal wound. He was going to die. 

Deceit saw Patton run over to him and gasp at the horrible sight. Logan wrapped an arm around Patton and they both came closer. Virgil people’s Deceit up against his side and Roman crouched down, looking into his eyes with panic. 

“Deceit? Deceit!” Roman said.

Deceit took a deep breath and decided that since he was dying, this was a good a time as any to confess his feelings. He didn’t know if his mouth could form the words, though. It hurt to breathe.

“I love you.” Deceit croaked, his breath leaving him more and more every second. 

“You’re.... not lying?” Virgil murmured, reaching out to touch Deceit’s cheek. 

Deceit shook his head. For the first time in his life, he had spoken truthfully without intending to. It felt like he had finally been freed of shackles he had never known he had on. 

“I love all of you. So, so much.” He said again, blinking tears out if his eyes. “I don’t want to die before telling you that.”

Roman stroked Deceit’s cheek. Virgil looked at Deceit one last time before folding his arms around him in a hug. Patton did the same, his arms wrapping around Deceit’s torso. Logan was gripping tightly to two of Deceit’s arms. And then Deceit was sobbing because he was dying and there was nothing he could do about it and why didn’t he admit his feelings before it had come to this and why did it have to end this way and why did he act so tough if this was who he really was and why did Patton and Virgil’s hugs feel so _good_ and **why was he a dark side if he could feel as loved as this all the time?**

As he felt more and more blood steadily leave his body, he hugged Virgil, Roman, Patton and Logan tighter because if he had to die, he wanted to die in their arms. 

He let out one last weak, shuddering breath. 

His heart pattered halfheartedly a couple times more. 

His eyes slid shut. 

Deceit smiled in the arms of people who actually cared about him and let his heart stop

...or so he thought. 

But his story wasn’t over. Not yet. 

With the very last bit of his conscious, Deceit was aware of a fluttery sensation inside himself. He felt something brush against his lips. 

And then a warmth brighter and hotter and better than anything he had ever known began in his heart and slowly spread through him. He could feel the warmth as it traveled through his veins. Deceit had never felt anything that was this comforting. This good. 

Somehow he was aware of the sensation of the cuts on his arms and chest stitching themselves back together. It was a magical feeling. He was being literally patched up. Blood returned to his body.

  
_Thump._

_Thump._   
  


In opening them, Deceit remembered he had eyes. 

He saw Roman’s face, his beautiful, beautiful face, curled in a smirk. Faintly he could hear the prince say, “My realm, my rules.”

And then Deceit was crying with happiness again because for the first time in his life he felt like he was important. Needed. _Loved_. 

Virgil let out a cry of what seemed to be joy and wrapped his arms tightly around Deceit. Automatically two of his arms snaked around Virgil’s torso. He was not letting go anytime soon. 

Patton was just hugging Deceit from behind in a way that was both comforting and loving at the same time. Logan was smiling as he intertwined one of Deceit’s hands in his own. Roman was cupping Deceit’s cheek, a beautiful smile gracing his face. 

“Wh-how?” Deceit whispered, sinking backwards into Patton’s embrace.

Roman looked embarrassed. “I-I kissed you. In my realm, most things are inspired by fairy tales and lore. Ergo, a true love’s kiss has healing powers.” 

“True love’s kiss-wait, you _love me_?” Deceit asked, his voice quivering with feeling. 

“We all do.” Logan stated the simple fact and pressed closer to Deceit. 

Too overwhelmed with feelings to say anything more that, “I-I love you too,” Deceit leaned into the embrace of the four people who cared about him most. 

After a couple minutes, Deceit broke the silence. “Hold on. You’re telling me my first kiss was when I was _dead_?” 

Virgil smirked and pressed closer. “The second kiss is always better.” 

Deceit took that as an invitation.


	30. DLAMP part 2!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil realizes the truth... he loves Deceit just as much as any of his other boyfriends.
> 
> Requested by Rose Memory Sanders on Quotev

>Virgil’s POV<

“Well, the second kiss is always better than the first.” Virgil heard himself saying, which was a lot unlike him. This was _Deceit_. The liar. The dark side. 

...the one that had saved him. 

So as Deceit reached one of his six hands out to cup Virgil’s cheek and bring his face to his own, Virgil didn’t stop him. In fact, he _kissed back_ , pressing himself into Deceit’s chest. He felt Roman’s arm wrap around his shoulders. Virgil broke away only to cuddle into Deceit’s chest, crying from happiness and love all at once. 

He saw Roman lean forward to take his place, smashing his lips into Deceit’s. Patton came forward and joined the embrace, running his fingers through Virgil’s hair. Deceit’s hands felt different, and Virgil realized it was because he had no gloves on and the smooth scales on his palms were brushing against Virgil’s cheek. Logan wrapped his arms around Deceit from behind, pressing a kiss to his uncovered head of curly hair. Virgil pressed even closer to Deceit, doing his best to make the Deceptive side feel loved. And that was what it was, wasn’t it? This feeling that he was so used to feeling towards Roman, or Patton, or Logan? Virgil took a huge intake of breath when he realized it. 

He loved Deceit. 

He loved this mysterious, snakelike side as much as any of his other boyfriends. Maybe it was because he was so protective. Maybe it was because he cared. Maybe it was because he knew Deceit felt unloved and unwanted. Maybe it was because Deceit had almost _died_ saving all of them. 

Or maybe it was because Virgil knew that Deceit didn’t deserve to be a Dark Side. 

Unlike the other Dark Sides, Deceit aimed to _protect_ Thomas. Sure, some of his suggestions were questionable. And sure, sometimes his suggestions required acting in your own self-interest. But sometimes his ideas were _valid_. And Thomas used Deceit more often then he’d like to admit.

Virgil wasn’t as scared or repulsed by Deceit as he let on.

In fact, he was unabashedly in love with him. And he knew that Deceit deserved a second chance. 

Just like he did.


	31. Mistletoe(for a writing contest)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus hung some mistletoe up in the kitchen. Both him and his brother get stuck under it with their crushes. Fluff ensues.
> 
> TW: censored swearing(Remus is in it what do you expect), God’s name used in vain, food mentions, touch-starved anxious bab, making out, RemRom mention(JUST REMUS MAKING FUN OF HIS BROTHER. NO ACTUAL ROMANTIC REMROM), sexual immuendo(no idea how to spell that just rolling with it.)

_It was Christmas Eve, and joyousness was in the air. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, with hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The sides were all bundled snugly in bed, visions of their famILY dancing through their heads. They knew that even though Santa wasn’t real, they could still enjoy their-_

“F*CK YA CHICKEN STRIPS!” Remus screeched, literally yeeting himself into Roman’s room.

“Oh my GOD REMUS I’M TRYING TO WRITE A F*CKING POEM!” Roman snapped, crumpling the paper he had been scribbling down the words on. 

“OooooooOOooOOh! Is it about D*CKS?” Remus asked.

“No.” Roman said, pulling out a blank sheet of paper. 

“Aww. You’re no fun. I’m gonna go bother Dee!” Remus squealed, bouncing out of Roman’s room and waving his mace dangerously around. Roman sighed and got to work on his poem. _That theme wouldn’t have worked anyway... it’s been used before. I need something more original!_ Filled with inspiration once again, Roman began to write.  
  


_The lights of the Christmas tree twinkle_

_Like infinitesimal stars_

_Lighting the spirits-_

“Hey kiddos! Who wants cookies!” Roman’s train of thought was interrupted by Patton’s call. He discarded his draft and stood, placing his pen down. His desk was still a mess, but Roman was not passing up on a free cookie. Especially since Virgil was known to eat the entire first batch and probably the second, too. 

Roman exited the room and entered the kitchen, humming ‘Jingle Bells’. Spread out on the counter were several pans of cutout gingerbread cookies. They were mostly gingerbread men and women, but Patton, being Patton, had made a few gingerbread dogs and cats as well. He reached for a cookie, but Virgil stopped him by gripping his wrist. “Nuh uh. You want a cookie, you have to decorate it.” He gestured to the assortment of icing bags, sprinkles, and other cookie-decorating supplies that Roman had failed to notice before. 

Roman smirked. “As you wish, Emo Nightmare.” 

He could’ve sworn he saw a scattering of pink under the anxious side’s pale foundation as he muttered, “Shut up, Princey.” 

_God, I love him._

Roman grabbed a cookie and some red icing. Thinking quickly, he piped various colors of icing onto the gingerbread man until it was rainbow colored. “Gay. Nice.” Virgil commented. 

“Thanks.” And who said Roman was going to stop there? Soon he had made various queer pride flags, from the magenta/purple/blue Bisexual flag to the pastel blue/pink/white Transgender flag to the pink/yellow/blue Pansexual flag. 

Virgil whistled when he saw Roman’s handiwork. “Damnnnnnnn, Princey. Somehow you became even gayer.”

“I have my ways,” Roman smirked, biting into the Non-binary pride flag. 

Logan soon joined Roman and Virgil’s cookie decorating session.... except to no one’s surprise, he used Crofter’s instead of cookie icing. Roman kept trying to steal Logan’s cookies, but Logan knew Roman well enough by now to know that he had to slap Roman’s wrist several times to get him to relent. 

“I swear, Roman, you’re going to be the death of-“ Logan started when Roman attempted to steal one of his cookies for the sixteenth time. 

“DiD sOmEoNe mEnTiOn DeAtH- oooooooh can I have a cookie?” Remus squealed. 

“Don’t let him decorate them.” Roman warned Patton, who had come in to pull yet another batch of non-binary gingerbread cookies out of the oven. 

“Last year I /didn’t/ let him make cookies..... you /definitely/ wanna know what he decorated them with.” Deceit muttered. 

“They had BUTT-“ 

“Yeah, let’s not get into that right now.” Roman said quickly, slapping a hand over his brother’s mouth. Remus grumbled and Roman jerked his hand away from his face. “GROSS! Did you just _lick_ my hand?”

Remus smirked. “Kinky.”

“NOPE! Nopenopenopenope. No way. You are disgusting, we are brothers, NOPE.” Roman kicked his brother hard. 

Remus noticed Deceit’s expression. “Jealous, Salazar S-lie-theryn?” He smirked. 

“Shut up.” Deceit snapped. The human side of his face was dusted pink. 

Roman blinked. “You’re stealing my _nicknames_ now?”

“They aren’t just _your_ nicknames, _Princey_. I’m creativity, too, don’t you remember?” Remus batted his eyes innocently. 

Virgil hissed. “Nope. Only me and Thomas are allowed to call him Princey. And that’s just because he’s Patton’s son and Logan always calls him either ‘prep’ or ‘half-wit’.” 

“If he’s Patton’s son, is Patton also my dad?” Remus wondered, tilting his head. His eyes lit up. He turned to Patton. 

“No don’t-“ Logan started. 

“Hi, _daddy_!” Remus squealed, shimmying his shoulders. 

“NOPE. No more ruining innocent minds for you today!” Roman snapped, shoving his brother into Deceit, who caught him before he could fall, stumbling back a couple feet. 

In Deceit’s arms, Remus smirked, righting himself. He suddenly grabbed Deceit’s chin, bringing it level to his. 

“What the hell-“ Deceit started, before Remus put a hand over his mouth to silence him. He pointed up. 

Tacked in the doorway directly above the two Dark Sides was a small, innocent sprig of mistletoe. Roman almost squealed but Virgil slapped a hand over his mouth. “Shut up. I want to get it on camera.” He hissed out of the corner of his mouth. 

“So? What’ll it be, Jeckyl and Lied?” Remus winked. 

Deceit sighed. “I swear you’re going to be the death of me.” And then the deceptive side cupped Remus’s cheek and kissed him. 

Roman, Virgil, Patton, and Logan all simultaneously snapped a picture. 

**_~time skip brought to you by my high-pitched squeal after Thomas Sanders LIKED MY TWEET HOW THE HELL?~_ **

Roman had resorted to typing his poem in the computer. It had been two hours of him sitting on the couch, brainstorming and wording, connecting strings of words together, mashing sentence after sentence into the masterpiece in front of him. 

...a blank document. 

Yes, for some reason, no matter how hard Roman thought, no matter how long he brainstormed, no matter how long he rhymed and phrased and tried to weave letters into words and words into sentences and sentences into stanzas and stanzas into a poem, he always ended up with something sub-par. Something that he wasn’t proud of in the slightest. 

And every time, he deleted it and started fresh. 

With a start, Roman realized that it was 11:30 pm. Sighing, he closed the computer and flicked his wrist, sending it back to his room through pure force of will. Standing up, he brushed a wayward strand of hair out of his face, adjusting his Santa hat. 

He went into the kitchen for a glass of water. Virgil was sitting precariously on the counter, scrolling through what appeared to be Tumblr. “Hey Princey.” He said without looking up. 

“Why are you sitting on the... oh.” Roman stopped, remembering that Virgil was too overwhelmed to be worried about what was and wasn’t a chair. 

Virgil pulled his hoodie tighter around himself, pocketing his phone. “You usually stay up later than this.” He remarked. “Last night you stayed up till at least 3 am. And then slept in till 10.”

_Screw it._ “A prince needs his beauty sleep!“ Roman proclaimed, hoisting himself up onto the counter to sit beside Virgil. 

“Then maybe you should go to bed earlier.” Virgil pointed out. 

“Hypocrite.”

Virgil smirked. “I can survive on coffee if I use my eyeshadow to cover the dark circles under my eyes. However, it’s painfully obvious when _you_ are sleep deprived.” 

“Fair point. But I can’t sleep on a night like tonight! Sanders Claus is coming!” Roman exclaimed. 

“Oh god. Not the b*tchmas rant.” Virgil groaned. Roman could clearly see that he was stifling a snort. 

“Don’t worry. I’m waiting for the perfect moment.” Roman smirked. He subconsciously shifted closer to the anxious side. Their arms brushed. 

Immediately Virgil flinched away, nearly falling off the counter. He bit his lip and dropped to the ground.

“Sorry!” Roman exclaimed, scooting away almost instantly. 

“No... it’s fine.” Virgil said. He was looking down. Roman could see him shuddering a bit. 

“Wait.” A horrific thought came to Roman. He reached out and brushed Virgil’s arm once again. Virgil shivered a bit. And Roman’s fears were only proved more likely.

“Oh my god. You’re touch starved, aren’t you?” Roman gasped, bringing his hand away. 

Virgil didn’t respond. Roman hopped off the counter and studied his face, shocked to see tears brimming in his eyes. And then Virgil confirmed Roman’s worst fear.

He nodded. 

And Roman didn’t hesitate to gently wrap his arms around Virgil. “Is this ok?” He asked. 

“Yes.” Virgil whispered, returning the hug slowly. 

Roman hugged him tighter, feeling Virgil shiver at the skin-to-skin contact. _How long did I let him suffer like this for?_

“I’m so sorry that we let you suffer this long.” Roman breathed into Virgil’s ear. 

Virgil shrugged. “I wasn’t really suffering. Plus I didn’t want to bother you.” 

Roman shook his head. “Don’t think that way. I’m gonna ask Logan later what happens to a person when they are deprived of physical touch and then I’ll tell you and pretend that I knew that right now. I mean what?” 

Virgil subconsciously sunk further into Roman’s embrace. “Thanks, Princey.”

“Hey, no... oh, sh*t.”

“What? What is it? Did I do something wrong? Oh god I did something wrong, didn’t I-“ Virgil immediately started panicking, backing away. Roman placed a finger on his lips to stop him. “No. _I_ did something wrong.”

“Wait, _what_?” 

Roman pointed silently upwards to the mistletoe tacked above their heads. 

**|~Virgil’s POV~|**   
  


Virgil glanced upwards to where Roman was gesturing. “Oh.” 

_He doesn’t want to kiss me he would never want to kiss me why would he kiss someone like me? He has so many other options like Patton and Logan and Deceit- and he probably thinks I’m weak I was touch starved and I didn’t tell him sooner what does that say about me oh god what does he think he hates me doesn’t he of course he does why would he_ love _someone like me? Of course I had to fall in love with the one side who hates me and insulted me and thinks that I’m weak and knows that I hinder Thomas and-_

“Well, it _is_ tradition, isn’t it?” Roman’s voice jolted Virgil back to the present, where he was in Roman’s embrace. Roman cupped his cheek. 

Virgil only nodded. Roman chuckled. “We wouldn’t want to break tradition, would we?”

And then Roman’s lips were on Virgil’s and it was the most wonderful thing he had ever felt. His brain struggled to process the feelings and thoughts running through his brain. His crush was kissing him. _Roman Sanders_ was _kissing_ him. And Virgil was kissing back. 

Virgil wrapped his arms tighter around Princey’s neck. He kissed him lightly, their lips moving slowly in sync. Their faces stayed connected for a mere three seconds. 

Then Roman broke away. “Sorry! I should’ve asked first and-“

“No! No. Um. Don’t be sorry. God, words are so hard.” Virgil whispered. Roman’s face was beet-red and he was sure his was just as flushed. He reached out and touched Roman’s cheek lightly. “I didn’t mind it. The kiss. I actually.... kind of liked it.” 

Roman froze for a second before his usual smirk returned to his face. “Then... you wouldn’t mind doing it again?” 

Virgil suddenly found a burst of confidence he never knew he had. “Shut up and kiss me.” He said on impulse. 

“As you wish.”

And then Virgil surged forward and Roman met him halfway, kissing him for all he was worth. Their lips moved in sync. Virgil felt like he was soaring above the clouds as he wrapped his arms tightly around Roman, bringing him closer. Roman’s hand ran slowly through Virgil’s hair, and Virgil shuddered at the new and unfamiliar but somehow pleasant sensation. He pressed closer, his hands brushing along Roman’s torso, then his arms, then his neck. Roman took his hand away from Virgil’s hair only to caress his cheek, his other hand running up and down Virgil’s side. Quickly he disconnected the kiss only to press soft, heavy kisses to his neck, Virgil gasping. He had never felt so... loved. Roman grinned and smashed his lips into Virgil’s once again, his tongue gliding lightly across Virgil’s upper lip. He tasted like warm cinnamon-sugar, and faintly of hot cocoa. Virgil pressed closer, running his hands up and down Roman’s back. 

The clock struck twelve as Roman broke away once again. “Merry b*tchmas.” He grinned. 

And if Logan and Patton had recorded the whole thing, honestly, who could blame them?

Later that morning, Roman presented his completed poem to Virgil.

Virgil read it. Then read it again. And again.

Finally, he pressed a kiss to Roman’s cheek. “God, I love you.”

“Love you too, emo nightmare.”

“Princey.”

“Panic at the everywhere.” 

“Romano.”

Roman hesitated before saying the next one. “Mi amor.” 

**/Bonus/**

“Hey bro.” Remus smirked, holding up Logan’s phone. A picture of Roman kissing Virgil was on the screen. 

“Oh my GOD- give that to me!” Roman snapped. 

“I think not.” Remus tapped the screen. “Whoopsie! Just sent it in the group chat!” 

“MY GOD YOU F*CKING- urghhhhhhhh!” Roman groaned. 

Remus smirked, scrolling up. His expression changed instantly when he saw what Roman had sent the others earlier that morning. “WHAT THE- you recorded Deceit kissing me?” 

Roman’s phone buzzed. He checked the group chat. 

Perfect Princey👑: sorry guys remus took logans phone

emo nightmare: wait what

Thomathy🏳️‍🌈: oh god wait prinxiety is real?

Padre🐶💙: awwWWWwwW! You two are so cute!

trash can🗑: awww cmon guys it was fun!

microsoft turd: One moment. I’m afraid Remus has changed my “nickname”. 

Resident Nerd: Back to normal. 

snek: you didn’t know that they were dating? They have been for like years now 

Resident Nerd: Falsehood. They only *holds up virtual vocabulary card* got together last night. Or early this morning.

Thomathy🏳️‍🌈: wait deceit youre dating remus

snek: no. I would never.

Thomathy🏳️‍🌈: lie any other relationships I need to know about?

Padre🐶💙: oh yeah me and Logan are dating!

Perfect Princey👑 : wait what

emo nightmare: oh hi mom. 

Thomathy🏳️‍🌈: well I’m thoroughly confused. Take it easy, guys, gals, and non-binary pals! PEACE OUT!

Resident Nerd: ...we are not filming at the moment, Thomas. 

Perfect Princey👑: oh I almost forgot! HO HO HO! MERRY B*TCHMAS, EVERYONE! Making a b*tchman... making a snowb*tch, and LOOK! It comes to life! MAAAAAAAGIC! We’re gonna have a snowb*tch fight and make snowb*tches and decorate the b*tchmas tree! Maybe I’ll even kiss Virgil again under the b*tchletoe! And when we’re all done we’ll curl up in our beds with visions of sugarb*tches dancing in our heads, while we wait for sanders claus to arrive on his sleigh, led by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reinb*tch! The magic of b*tchmas, I tell you!

trash can🗑: I can see why we’re related


	32. Who are you?(Intrulogince)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by Romania Imagination Sanders on Quotev
> 
> What happens when Logan splits in two just like the original creativity? Remus and Roman show him how to fuse back together, that's what. But when Romulus returns, it rekindles feelings in Logan that he thought he had vanquished...
> 
> Note: Combined creativity is Romulus.
> 
> TW: censored swearing, King Romulus, God’s name used in vain, confusion, angst, flashbacks, no happy ending

Logic was not structurally sound. 

He was sitting in his desk chair, looking at the mess of papers and Manila folders and journals and books and who knows what else in front of him. His hair was a mess. His glasses were crooked. His tie was lying limply on his chest. His lips were chapped. He was thirsty but he couldn’t bring himself to stand up and get a glass of water. His thoughts were figuratively spinning, flying through his head so fast that he barely had time to consider one before his brain moved onto another and what exactly was at the bottom of the ocean and why were feelings so hard to understand and how did Thomas get a freckle behind his ear and what did the big picture in the living room mean and are cube roots better than square roots and how was Deceit so good at impersonating Patton and _why wasn’t anything making sense?_

Logan could not commit a falsehood. He was a figurative mess. 

What had led up to this madness? 

Thomas had just gotten over a breakup with his boyfriend of several months. Logan, being logic, had ~~a lot~~ _absolutely nothing_ to do with feelings. Somehow, he was ~~still hurt~~ completely fine and unaffected.

Deceit would be proud if he knew how much Logan lied to himself and the other sides. 

_”I’ve never felt anything in my life.”_

_”Uh oh-feelings.”_

_”I’m always serious. Clearly, I wear a necktie.”_

_”Feelings. The bane of my existence.”_

_”I don’t feel anything.”_

Thomas happened to see his former boyfriend one day at Walmart. They conversed socially, as they were still close friends. 

And then Thomas’s former boyfriend asked him if he had wanted to go on a date with him again. That he had missed him. That he promises that this time it’ll be different. That he’s changed. 

And Thomas turned him down. ~~Why~~?

Immediately after Thomas had rejected him, he had wondered why. He still loved his former boyfriend. So why did he refuse his offer to date him? Roman was all for dating him again. Virgil, being Virgil, was just anxious about the whole thing. And Logan? 

For once, Logan didn’t know where he stood.

Logically, if you broke up with someone when you were in a toxic relationship, you shouldn’t go back to them. That would only lead to more pain. 

But what if Thomas was the one at fault? What if the reason their relationship had never worked... was _him_? 

More specifically, was _Logan_? 

Logan has never been good at handling feelings. ~~He didn’t have them, after all~~. 

He felt himself arguing with... _himself_ , somehow. _Why did I turn him down? Because the relationship was toxic. And I don’t have feelings_. But Logan knew that wasn’t true. _I turned him down because I.... was confused. Confused about my own feelings, confused about Thomas’s feelings, confused about the other sides’ feelings. And I still am._

The realization figuratively hit Logan like a boulder. _I’m repressing. I’m repressing my own thoughts and feelings. I, Thomas’s Logic, am doing the very thing that_ I told _him not to do. I_ failed _. I failed everyone_. 

As hard as it was, Logan knew how to make things right. He clenched his fist, feeling his fingernails dig into his palm. He squeezed his eyes shut. Opened his mouth.

“I...” he trailed off. He didn’t want to say it. Admit that he had failed. Admit that he had been lying to everyone. 

This was his own figurative mess. He had to clean it up. 

Opening his mouth again, he considered the words. There were only three of them, and it shouldn’t have been as laborious as it was to say them, whisper them even. 

So why was it?

No matter. At this moment Logan had to set things right. 

Even if it meant admitting to lies. 

“I... I...,” Logan fought not to let his words escape him again.

“I have... I have feelings.” He choked out. And once he started, it was nearly impossible to stop. “Emotions. Chemical reactions in my brain that I know mean nothing but somehow they mean _something_ , I’m just not sure what and I’m confused and a figurative mess and a mistake and errors are happening in my brain because I’m _logic_ and I’m not supposed to have feelings but I do and I don’t know if it’s ok I just know that Thomas and the others can never find out because if they do _what will they think of me_?” 

All of Logan’s doubts spilled out of his mouth in one frantic run-on sentence. And suddenly there was pain. 

In his forehead, Logan felt a jolt of pain, white-hot and burning. It was as if someone had taken a blaster from Star Wars and shot him in the head, although Logan knew that that was fictional and highly improbable. Still, it was the best way to describe the sit-

All of Logan’s streams of thought and Logic and common sense and knowledge were partially cut off. His brain wasn’t working. His head hurt so, so much. His hands went up to press against his temples in an effort to keep his brain from exploding, although it felt more like it was going to implode, collapse in on itself, killing Logan in the process. But he wasn’t Logan anymore, was he? Logan didn’t exactly know, all that he knew was that everything hurts and that it wasn’t stopping and that it felt like white hot flames were running through his veins and he let out a scream of pain and agony and EVERYTHING HURTS and-

And suddenly he was presented by an idea. An opportunity. 

And he took it. 

He gasped for breath as he somehow _pushed away_. It was impossible to describe it except for that he _wasn’t whole_ anymore. But why would he feel that way? He opened his eyes as he knelt on the ground. _Oh_. 

He was no longer wearing his normal attire. He was wearing a crisp white polo shirt and his normal tie, and his glasses. But why did he have a white shirt? And why did he feel so... _incomplete_? 

Raising his eyes, he found out why. And caught his breath, gasping again and again, doing what could only be described as hyperventilating. Because across from him was a man in a long sleeved black shirt, the same glasses as Logan, and a grey tie. He was looking at his hands, his expression neutral. 

“Who-who are you?” Logan breathed. 

He looked up. “I am logic.”

“But _I’m_ logic!” 

“I do not know where all of my knowledge has gone. It must have figuratively flown out of my brain.” He said, then looked at Logan for real for the first time. And stared for a bit, his eyes showing the slightest hint of emotion for the first time since Logan had met him. “Oh sh*t.” The two said at the same time.

“We... split, didn’t we?” They whispered. Logan reaches out a tentative hand to touch his counterpart’s, but he refused. “Who are you?” The other one asked again. 

And Logan didn’t know. He was a part of Logic, that was for sure. He searched his feelings for any hint of knowledge. And he found more than a hint. 

He felt smart and sturdy but also small and fragile because he could be killed at any time. He knew so, so many things, like how the elections in an atom moved and the cube root of 356,400,829 and how many miles away was the nearest star and all given elements in the periodic table and (when had he memorized the script to Doctor Who?) and the exact position of the stars in the sky. But he wanted to know more. He wanted to figuratively stuff his brain with knowledge.

“Intelligence.” He breathed, knowing he was no longer Logan. No longer _complete_. “I’m Intelligence.”

The side across from him looked at him with no expression. “And I’m apathy.” 

Apathy was defined as the suppression of emotions such as concern, excitement, motivation, or passion. Apathy was the reason Logan had appeared indifferent.

Because he was repressing his emotions.

“Oh sh*t.” A voice sounded from behind them. Intelligence whipped his head around to see Roman, looking at them with his hand over his mouth in shock. 

“Roman?” Intelligence whispered shakily. 

And then Roman was running up to him and wrapping one arm around Intelligence and one around Apathy. “Shh. Shh. It’s alright. I know how confusing it is.” 

Intelligence felt a tear come to his eye, and, surprisingly, he didn’t fight it. “I feel empty.” He whispered. “I just want to feel whole again.”

“I agree.” Apathy said. His voice still showed no hint of emotion. 

Intelligence scooted closer into Roman’s embrace as Roman smiled. “That can be arranged.”

Roman snapped his fingers and Remus appeared behind him. “Oooh, brother dearest summoned _me_? Why- oh sh*t.” He noticed the two Logics. 

“They want to fuse back together again. Will you help me help them? Keep in mind this is the only scenario in I will _ever_ ask for your help.” Roman said, extending an arm out to Remus. 

The dark creative side huffed. “I guess.” He didn’t say one inappropriate thing, which surprised Intelligence. 

Roman stood up and looked Remus in the eye. And then Intelligence realized. _They_ were going to fuse. Back into King Romulus. 

When was the last time he had seen Romulus? 

And without warning Intelligence saw a flashback. He was in the mind palace, back when he was still Logan, _logic_ , whole. He had gripped Romulus’s hand as he had dragged him into the imagination, a smile on his face. And Logan had followed.

There was no logical reason to. And yet there was no logical reason _not_ to. And so Logan had gone. Romulus has shown him his kingdom, full of magic and fairies and princes and princesses and royalty and darkness and odd things and things that normally you would be repulsed by but Logan somehow _wasn’t_. It was full of creativity and love and feeling and _passion_. Full of things that didn’t exist in the real world. 

And yet Logan had enjoyed it. So he went again. And again. And again. 

He tore himself away from the past and watched as Remus took Roman’s hand. A glow emitted from their connected skin. Without warning Roman spun Remus closer to him and took his other hand. 

There was a blinding light. 

And creativity was no longer two, but one. 

Before Intelligence stood a man in a black shirt, a red sash, and a crown. He looked at his hands in wonder. “Always feels so weird.” He muttered. 

“Romulus.” Intelligence breathed. 

Romulus cracked a smile. “Hello, old friend.”

And then he saw it all again. 

He saw the imagination before it split in two, a beautiful medieval town crowned by a shining castle, framed by a beautiful forest where dangerous monsters roamed. He saw a bustling town filled with wonders. He saw a beautiful sunset reflected by a glimmering ocean. He saw a mountain waiting to be climbed and conquered. He saw a hellish place, a rocky island surrounded by an ocean of lava. He saw the creatures that Romulus created, Roman making the base and Remus putting his own spin on it. And most of all, he saw Romulus. Romulus, Romulus, Romulus. He remembered his embrace, his need for adventure. He remembered his smile, charming and arrogant. He remembered the way he laughed, the way he sung, and the way he talked. His calming voice. His soothing touch. The way his ideas had settled Logan’s curiosity. The way he had showed him it was ok to feel things and the way he showed him to express his feelings. And the way his lips had felt on Logan’s. 

Yes. For a brief time, Logan has been Romulus’s. He had been caring, kind, beautiful, and wild. It was a rough ride, dating the king of creativity itself, when your entire purpose was to sort realistic things from unrealistic things, but it had worked. For a year, at least. 

And then the split happened. 

One day Logan has walked into the imagination to find it split in half. One side was dark and looked foreboding, but was somehow enticing at the same time. And the other was bright and welcoming. And then Logan has seen the twins. Roman and Remus. Not Romulus. No longer one, but two. 

And Logan had left. 

And the world went on. He had ~~still~~ never missed Romulus. Not at all. And both Roman and Remus has never brought him up again. 

But now Logan had split, too. And now Romulus is standing in front of him, cracking a smile. 

And Intelligence didn’t hesitate to throw himself into the King’s arms. Romulus wrapped one of his arms around Intelligence and one around Apathy, bringing them close. And there was ugly tears running down Intelligence’s face and a smile on Romulus’s face and he was so close to the side he had ~~never missed, not at all~~ missed so, so, much. And it was almost perfect. 

But he was still Intelligence. And Apathy was still Apathy. 

Apathy met his gaze and nodded at him slightly. He reached out. And Intelligence brushed their hands together. 

And there was a glow where their skin had come in contact, spreading throughout both of their bodies. Intelligence became aware of the need for more contact, more touch. And that was what he did, twisting Apathy around and wrapping his arms around him, interlocking their hands. 

And then there was light. 

And light, and light, and light. 

And Intelligence could feel himself getting closer and closer to Apathy, his other half, his counterpart, his _brother_.

And then. And then. 

And then he was no longer incomplete. And then Logic was no longer two, but one being, standing tall. Facing Romulus. 

Logan looked down at his hands in wonder. Then he realized what he wanted. And he knew Apathy wanted it too. Just because Apathy suppressed all emotions didn’t mean that he didn’t have them. And right now he knew Apathy’s desires. Because they were his own as well. 

And Logan folded himself into Romulus’s waiting embrace, tears streaming down his face. Romulus smiled down at him and brought him closer, wrapping one arm around his torso and the other reaching up to cup Logan’s cheek. “I missed you.” Logan whispered.

Romulus’s breath stirred Logan’s hair. “I missed you too.” 

And then he pinched Logan’s chin and brought his lips level to his and then they were kissing, like Logan had dreamed of for so long. Their lips moved in sync and Logan pressed himself into Romulus’s chest, running his hands through the King’s hair and all he could think was _finally, finally, finally_. He felt Romulus hug him tight as if he would let go at any second, as if he was afraid Logan was going to split again and that he couldn’t kiss him anymore and _oh god Logan loved Romulus_. He loved the way he smiled and the way he laughed and the way he talked and the way he comforted people and the way he smirked and the way he sung and the way he kissed. He loved every single one of Romulus’s creations. He loved the way he tasted and the way he felt when Logan stroked his cheek and the way he ran his hands through Logan’s hair and the way he embraced Logan like he never wanted to let go. 

But Logan knew he had to. Because he felt a splitting pain in his head once again. 

...why was staying together so _hard_ all of a sudden?

Once again, he was not whole. He was two, Intelligence and Apathy, and he would never be the same again. And Romulus looked at him, a worried look on his face. “I’m sorry.” He whispered. 

And then it was Apathy, surprisingly, who reached out and cupped his cheek. “Don’t be.” He whispered. “It wasn’t your fault.”

But Romulus shook his head and that was when Intelligence noticed that he was beginning to glow. He squeezed his eyes shut, reaching out for Romulus, who he had missed so much and the pain wouldn’t go away...

And then it was Roman and Remus that stood in front of him. Remus looked down at his hands and Roman was touching his lips. 

Intelligence blinked open his eyes and wrapped his arms around himself, trying to savor the warmth left from Romulus’s embrace. 

It didn’t work. 

And once again, he was alone. 


	33. Touch-Starved(Analogical)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by Cropoosified
> 
> Virgil is lonely, sleep-deprived, and touch-starved... will Logan be able to help put him at ease?
> 
> TW: anxious touch-starved sleep-deprived bab, hurt/comfort, mentions of past depression and cutting, God’s name used in vain, Beetlejuice reference

  
Virgil was awake. 

He laid in his bed, staring up at the bare ceiling above him. In the darkness he could barely make out the few cracks in the plaster **(the WiFi should be faster, this sofa needs a caster, tHe bAtHrOoM’s a DiSaStEr! What about global poverty? What abou- no more? Ok.)**

His blanket hugged him, warm fleece brushing against his skin, but somehow Virgil still felt cold. He _should_ have been asleep by now... but he wasn’t. At all.

His digital clock showed _4 am_ in a burning red.

Virgil turned over in his sleep, grunting in annoyance. At this rate he would get at most 4 hours of sleep before he had to get to work again.

He had never told anybody this, but the main reason Virgil wore so much eyeshadow was to hide the bags under his eyes. 

He forced his eyes shut.

After a minute he blinked them open once again, swallowing back a small tear. He was _so tired_. And yet he couldn’t fall asleep. Pulling his hoodie tighter around himself, he stared into the darkness, imagining that it was the empty void of space. That he could just fall into it with no worries at all.

Virgil felt hollow, like his skin was a husk that held nothing but his poor soul, curled up and trembling in fear. 

He tried piling blankets on top of himself but that didn’t work either, it just made him feel more trapped.

He tried putting on a sleep mask, but forcing his eyes to stay closed didn’t help at all.

He tried staying still, but his anxiety made him twitchy and he bounced his leg.

He tried pulling his hoodie tighter around himself, but realized that that made his sleeves come up, revealing his faded scars. 

His skin felt hollow, as if it was begging for warmth. Yes, his hoodie provided daily comfort, but lately it hadn’t been enough.

Virgil mumbled in frustration. _Why can’t I just sleep?_

His anxiety started acting up. What if he couldn’t sleep because there was something wrong with him? What if he had become an insomniac? What if he could never sleep again? What if whenever he tried to sleep, he couldn’t relax? What if he always felt as miserable as he did now? What if because there was something wrong with him, he couldn’t help Thomas? Oh god... _what if he was dying_?

And then the door opened. Virgil opened his eyes. _Sh*t I don’t have my eyeshadow on-_

It was Logan. Honestly Virgil was glad it wasn’t Roman or Patton, but why did he have to come at that moment? He walked over to Virgil. Without a word he reached towards him. “Is this ok?” He whispered. 

Virgil hadn’t been touched by someone else in years. 

_Oh god, that’s it, isn’t it? I’m touch-starved_.

And without a word, he nodded. 

When Logan’s fingers brushed his, it felt like the skin _woke up_. There was no other way to describe the sensation that flowed from his hand up his arm to his chest to the rest of his body. It felt like sparks were dancing across his skin, but not in a painful way. Like his skin was cold and unfeeling, and then somebody had splashed it with warm water. 

It felt _so good_. 

And then Virgil instinctively latched onto Logan, wrapping his arms around him. Logan smiled and reached up to run his fingers down Virgil’s cheek. Virgil shivered at the pleasant sensation. He let his head rest on Logan’s shoulder, basking in his warmth. 

“Shhh.” Logan whispered soothingly, running his hands through Virgil’s hair. 

Virgil just stayed there, snuggling into Logan’s side, nuzzling his head into the crook of his neck. Logan smiled at him. 

“Don’t leave. Please.” Virgil breathed. 

“I won’t.”

Virgil slept well for the first time in days.


	34. Swap(Prinxiety, Logicality, Demus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a mess. You have been warned.
> 
> TW: TW: everyone pranking each other, censored cussing, kissing when not in a relationship, Roman and Virgil being horrible actors, sides disguising themselves as other sides, a fourth wall shattered beyond repair, bad writing
> 
> Roman and Virgil disguise themselves at Patton and Logan to try to get Logicality together. What they don't know is that Logan and Patton have been dating each other for months and Remus and Deceit have been married for three years. Also, they both have crushes on each other. Extreme confusion ensues.

“Virgillllllllllll.” Roman groaned. 

Virgil looked up from Tumblr and focused his eyes on the princely trait. “What?” 

“I’m booooooored.” He complained. Virgil sighed and pulled his headphones over his ears once again. “You’re the creative one. Shouldn’t you be able to come up with something to entertain yourself with?”

“Nope.” Roman flopped on the couch, laying his head in Virgil’s lap. Virgil pushed it off. 

Roman smirked and yanked Virgil’s headphones off. “Hey!” Virgil snapped, reaching for them. Roman stood up. Being three inches taller than Virgil, he could hold the headphones out of his reach. “I hate you.” Virgil muttered, straining to reach his headphones. 

“But we both know that’s not quite true, is it?” 

“Shut up.” Virgil elbowed Princey and grabbed his headphones, only to realize that his phone was out of battery. “Why won’t you just let me sulk and listen to My Chemical Romance like the true emo I am?” 

“What’s the fun in that, Panic! At the Everywhere?” Roman smirked, gripping Virgil’s hand. “I say we prank Patton and Logan.” 

“I’m not pranking dad.” Virgil huffed. 

Roman wriggled his eyebrows. “Ok, but will you help me get him and Logan together?” 

Virgil considered it. It was painfully obvious that Patton and Logan liked each other. Patton’s smile would widen whenever Logan entered the room, and Logan’s ears would turn red. There was some discreet hand-holding under the kitchen table, and the small gifts that Patton gave to Logan on Valentines Day were dead giveaways. 

“...what did you have in mind?”

Roman grinned and handed him a pair of glasses. 

**-Snek’s POV-**

Deceit watched the pair as they disguised themselves, Virgil putting on Logan’s guise and Roman wrapping a replica of Patton’s cardigan around his shoulders. _So this is how they’re gonna play it, huh..._

Sinking back down to the dark mindscape, he called Remus, who was lying on the couch upside down, his head a few inches above the floor and his feet swinging in the air above him. “Your brother and Virgil _aren’t_ trying to prank Logan and Patton in an attempt to get them together.”

The Duke’s head shot up in a flash. He could understand Deceit better than any other side. “Ooooooh! Can we mess them up?” 

“ _No_.” Deceit smirked. “They’re _not_ trying to disguise _themselves_ as Logan and Patton.”

Remus sighed. “First of all, completely unoriginal. Second, it’s going to fail. Third, boring. They should add some gore! Or just f*ck in front of them.” He ticked off the reasons on his fingers. 

“And they’re _totally_ not hopeless romantics. Your brother _doesn’t_ like Virge at all.” Deceit examined his hand like he was looking at his nails, even though he was wearing gloves. 

Remus smirked. “What did you have in mind?” 

“I _wouldn’t_ lock them in a closet, but that’s _so_ original. I mean, I know we’re _not_ in a fan fiction and whatnot, but we _absolutely_ have to act like it. Plus I _totally_ want to break the fourth wall.” Deceit thought aloud. 

“Eh, screw it. It’s already wrecked beyond repair.” Remus shrugged. 

Deceit gasped. “What is this? Plot convenience? I _don’t_ suddenly have an amazing idea.” 

Remus looked at the snakelike side curiously. Deceit snapped his fingers, and instantly he held Virgil’s jacket and a red sash. 

A grin spread across Remus’s face. “Oh, brother dearest is in for a bit of a treat.”

**-welp there goes the fourth wall- uhhh Logan’s POV!(you heard nothing)-**

Logan snapped a picture of Roman and Virgil disguising themselves and then recorded Deceit and Remus plotting. _Once the author catches them, they are_ so _figuratively dead_. He thought. 

He sent the evidence to Patton. Patton replied with, “The kiddos are trying to prank us again? Three(or six) can play at that game. ;)”

Logan sunk out, appearing beside the moral side. “Do you wanna be Deceit or Remus?” The bubbly trait asked.

Moments later, Logan took off his tie in favor if a black capelet and pulled a hat on his head. _This is going to be very amusing_. 

Soon after, what looked like Deceit appeared in the common room, pocketing his phone. He had just asked Remy to record the whole incident. 

**-Roman’s POV-**

Roman looked at himself in the mirror, trying on Patton’s cheerful smile. He adorned a light blue t-shirt, as well as glasses and a cardigan. Virgil was examining his reflection, looking at his tie and black shirt. “Feels so weird.” 

Roman shrugged. “I think this is pretty nifty, kiddo! I don’t know why we don’t use this shape shifting thing more often.” 

Virgil turned to look at him. “I know. Maybe it’s because _we’re not Deceit_?” 

“Hey, you got to be Logan.” Roman protested. 

Virgil looked at his bare arms in disgust. “I like Logan, but I don’t get why he doesn’t wear a hoodie. Or long sleeves. It feels so _vulnerable_. You got to be Patton. Patton’s much easier to be!” 

“Hey, all you have to do is yell, ‘Falsehood’ a lot and pretend to be smart.” Roman defended. 

“I’d like to see you try that.” Virgil muttered. 

“Gladly!” Roman exclaimed, shifting into character. He cleared his throat. “That is not correct.” He paused for dramatic effect before continuing. “Because according to the encyclopedia of.... er....” he gave up and make various noises with his tongue.

“See?” Virgil gestured at him. 

“Well I’m glad you’re Logan then. You have the dynamic better than I do.” 

Virgil straightened his tie. “Falsehood.” 

“Boom!” Roman exclaimed. 

“Ok, Patton would never say that.” Virgil facepalmed. 

“Still working on it. Let’s go!” Roman pulled ‘Logan’ down the stairs and into the common room. 

Surprisingly, Deceit was the only one there. He was sitting in a chair, examining his nails even though he was wearing gloves. He looked up. “Oh. Hi, Virgil.”

Roman snapped his head up. “What do you mean? He’s Logan!” 

“Please. Do you really think a master of deception such as myself wouldn’t be able to see right through your disguise? Honestly. Step up your game.” 

Virgil sighed. “Well, that ship crashed before it had even hit the water.”   
  


**-Logan’s POV-**

Roman squeezed Virgil’s hand and sighed. “Do you know where Patton is?” 

Patton, disguised as Remus, sauntered into the room and flopped on the couch. “You two are so boring. Why don’t you just... I don’t know... f-“ 

“ _Totally_ the time, Remus.” Logan sighed, stopping Patton before he was forced to say bad words and ruin his innocence. He brushed the back of his hand with his thumb lightly.

“Ok, Deceit would never say that.” Virgil pointed out. 

Logan sighed and tapped on his knee. _Short short long long long_ , or Morse code for ‘2’. Plan B. “You got me, brother dearest.” He smirked. 

He saw Roman disguised as Patton facepalm as he shifted bodies. Now he had a mustache on his face and an unnecessarily frilly and sparkly shirt, and a green sash stretched across his chest. Logan burst out laughing. “You should’ve seen your face.” He gasped in between snorts. 

Virgil pointed to Patton still disguised as Remus, lying carelessly on the couch, his head in Logan’s lap. “I’m guessing that’s Deceit?” 

Logan knew it would be extremely hard for Patton to act as Deceit, so he gripped his hand for reassurance. Patton seemed to get it, though. “I totally wasn’t practicing.” He said. A practiced smirk crossed his face as he sat up. The good thing about being Deceit was that he had six arms. Two were folded in Patton’s lap, clasped together, and a third was still gripping Logan’s hand.

“Ughhhh.” Virgil, still disguised as Logan, pressed his fingers to his eyelids. “Where are Logan and Patton?”

“Hey, has anyone seen Virgil?” Someone walked into the room. He looked like Roman. _And there’s Remus._

‘Roman’ looked around. “Anybody seen him?” He repeated. ‘Patton’s’ mouth was an ‘o’ of surprise, and Virgil, still disguised as Logan, was facepalming. 

“Virgil! There you are!” Remus exclaimed. If Logan hadn’t known that it was Remus, he would’ve been fooled. The Duke was surprisingly good at acting.

As was Deceit. 

Deceit walked in. His face had no scales. He wore Virgil’s signature hoodie, ripped jeans, a purple t-shirt, and headphones. Dark smudges of eyeshadow were smeared carelessly under each eye. 

“Ugh. What do you need, Princey?” Deceit groaned, pulling his headphones down to rest on his shoulders. 

‘Roman’ smirked seductively. “A kiss.” 

Logan rolled his eyes but forced himself to stay in character. “Oooh, please _do_ , brother dearest!”

Remus rolled his eyes at Logan, who smirked. 

Deceit sighed. “Princey, Princey. So needy.”

And then ‘Virgil’ and ‘Roman’ kissed passionately in the middle of the common room, everyone staring at them. 

“Damnit Roman!” Logan sighed. “Stop making me jealous.” 

Patton smirked at him. “Oh, my little Remus is jealous? Now we can’t have that, can we?” 

It was an odd experience, making out with Deceit, although Logan knew it was really Patton. 

“Ok, can we stop the public displays of affection? Please?” Virgil, still disguised as Logan, asked. 

Roman(Remus) smirked. “Jealous, Microsoft Nerd?” 

Virgil(Deceit) disconnected the kiss. “You two should totally get together. We’ve been shipping you for years.” 

“Honestly! You two are so oblivious. And I’m saying that with full knowledge of who you really are.” Logan sighed. 

Roman(Remus) looked at him. “What?” 

Logan stares right back at him. “What?” He repeated. 

“Honestly, Logie, you shouldn’t be jealous!” Patton(Roman) exclaimed. 

“I’m not.” Logan(Virgil) insisted. 

Patton(Roman) booped his nose. “We’ll see about that.” He giggled, sealing Logan(Virgil)’s lips with a kiss. 

Logan watched as Virgil immediately returned the kiss, pressing into Roman’s chest. 

“Finally. Thank god. Does that mean I can stop now?” Virgil(Deceit) asked. Roman(Remus) nodded. Deceit sighed and snapped his fingers, returning to his normal body. Remus did the same.

Patton(Virgil) snapped his head up, disconnecting his kiss. “Wait, what? Wait... my god. You’re Logan, aren’t you?” He gestured to Logan. 

Logan smirked, shifting back into his own body. “The one and only.” 

Patton turned back into himself as well. “You two kiddos thought you could prank us without us knowing?” 

Roman groaned, shifting back into himself. “Ugh.”

“Well, that failed miserably, Princey.” Virgil sighed. 

Logan raised an eyebrow. “You just kissed your crush. Would you call that a failure?” 

“My-my crush? What...” Virgil sputtered, clearly trying to hide the blush in his face. 

Deceit rolled his eyes. “ _Please_. You two are _so_ obvious.”

“Yeah, even I could tell, bro!” Remus snarked. 

Roman sighed, scooping Virgil into his lap with a minimum amount of hissing and stroking his hair. “I suppose you’re right. And keep in mind this is the only time I will ever admit to you being right. Got it?”

Remus winked. “We’ll see about that.” 

Virgil seemed to realize something. “Wait... you and Dad are _dating_?” He turned to Logan in disbelief. 

“Yes. We have been for three months. And we weren’t exactly secretive about it either.” Logan said. 

“True. I walked in on them making out a week ago.” Remus said. 

Patton blushed and Logan pulled him into an embrace. 

“Ok, how did you get a boyfriend before me?” Roman turned to his brother. 

“Oh, he’s _totally_ my boyfriend.” Deceit said nonchalantly. 

“So you just _made out_ with him for fun?” Virgil asked in disbelief. 

Remus held up his hand and for the first time Logan noticed a silver ring adorning his ring finger. Deceit pulled off his glove to reveal a hand partially covered in scales, a golden ring on his finger. “No. We’ve been married for three years.”


	35. Analogical Headcanons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read the Title

•Logan and Virgil DEFINETLY stargaze.   
•Virgil has panic attack, Logan comforts him.   
•Virgil got Logan into MCR.   
• they stay up late watching conspiracy theory videos together and Logan points out the inconsistencies.   
•Virgil plays with Logan’s hair and Logan just melts.   
•Virgil always tries to take the blanket but Logan is smart and has like three. Eventually they end up laying basically on top of one another.   
•Logan takes Virgil to museums  
•Virgil isn’t scared of Deceit or Remus anymore because Logan knows how to get rid of them and will protect his boyfriend at all costs.   
•They stay up late doing basically all the work for Thomas’s videos, writing the scripts, editing, et cetera. Logan’s efficiency and effort combined with the fact that Virgil is stressing about the upcoming deadline makes them a powerful team.   
• No one proposes until they’ve been together at least ten years, Logan is hopeless with romance and Virgil is always anxious about whether it’s too soon to propose. Eventually, Logan does and Virgil says yes(obviously).  
•Virgil and Logan team up and argue with Roman and Patton.   
•Logan teaches Virgil vocabulary words so he confuses everyone even more, and Virgil helps Logan with his slang.   
• Neither of them cook or bake, Logan doesn’t have the dynamic right and even if he did Virgil wouldn’t let him make food because he’s afraid of the house burning down.   
• They both learn cuss words in different languages like Latin and Greek and German, for the sole purpose of insulting Roman and Deceit.   
• They definitely share jars of Crofter’s.   
•Logan gives Virgil more depressing information so he can scare Thomas more.   
•If Deceit disguises himself as either Logan or Virgil, the other one knows immediately.


	36. My Opinion on Deceit’s Name(A/N)

In my one shots, I normally call Deceit by his known name. But in human AU’s, I obviously have to have some sort of name to call him. 

I considered a bunch. I liked Declan, but that hits a little too close to home(*cough* totallynotmycrush *cough*). Dolian is Greek for “to deceive” but I think that’s a bit too accurate. Plus it doesn’t really have a “ring” to it. Damien is also a popular one, but that translates to “tame” sooooo definitely not the snek boi. 

However, Ethan. 

From the root “Ethos”, which means “the power of using music(or language) to influence emotions, behaviors, and even morals.” That sounds a lot like a certain snek. Plus we have a Pathos(Patton) and a Logos(Logan) but no Ethos. And I just kind of like the name because it doesn’t start with the letter D. So far, only one side has gotten a name that starts with the first letter of what they represent(Logan, Logic). And I don’t think that Deceit’s name will start with D because his nature is to mislead people. 

This is just my opinion. I will use Ethan as Deceit’s name in my future one shots, but only if it’s needed. If it’s not an AU, I will still refer to him as Deceit. 

(Wow when did I start sounding so professional XD)


	37. My R(No Ship)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil is done. He just wants it all to end. But every time he heads up to the roof, there seems to be someone else there, ready to jump. Before Virgil knows it, he's stopped three people from committing suicide. But will he be able to save himself?
> 
> TW: suicide, attempted suicide, mentions of abuse, mentions of cutting, implied major character death, a n g s t
> 
> song: My R by Rachie(Lyrics are italicized and underlined, I changed some of the pronouns and adjectives to match the sides)

_Just as I was about to take my shoes  
Off on the rooftop there I see_

_ A boy with messy hair here before me  
Despite myself, I go and scream _

  
Virgil stepped into the elevator. The door slid shut behind him. 

He jammed the button labeled, “12” with his thumb. 

His clothes felt heavy on his skin, the scars underneath his hoodie burning.

The elevator ascended.

With an exhale, Virgil stepped into the hallway. It was a hallway like any other.

He walked past his apartment and shoved open the door directly to the right, revealing a bleached concrete stairway. 

His shoes tapped against the stairs as he stepped. _Click. Click_.

He ascended the final stair, the wind whistling in his ears. 

He wasn’t alone.

_Oh crap_ , Virgil thought. 

_...Roman._

And before Virgil could stop himself, he was basically shouting over the wind. 

_ “Hey, don’t do, it please!” _

Immediately Virgil’s anxiety kicked in. He shrunk backwards, thoughts racing through his head. 

_Whoa wait, what the hell did I just say?_   
_I couldn’t care less either way_   
_Really though, I was somewhat pissed_   
_This was an opportunity missed_

“Virgil?” Roman’s voice carried to his ears. 

_Why would he come here? He’s the most popular kid in school! He does theater, and he’s the best trumpet player in band! Heck, he even got the solo in chorus!_   
  
_The boy with messy hair_   
_Told me his woes_   
_"You’ve probably heard_   
_It all before"_

Roman sighed. 

_“I really thought that he_   
_Might be the one_   
_But then he told me_   
_he was done”_

And before Virgil knew what he was doing, he was screaming at Roman. He had no right to jump! He had a happy life, lots of friends, good parents, and lots of money! Just because some boy didn’t want to date him didn’t mean that he should end his life! The words spilled out of his mouth before he could stop them.   
  
_For god’s sake, please!_  
 _Are you serious?_  
 _I just can’t believe_  
 _Because of some_  
 _Dumb excuse_  
 _You got here before me_  
 _Are you upset_  
 _Cause you can’t have what you wanted?_  
 _You should be glad you’ve never gotten_  
 _Robbed of anything!_

And Roman blinked the tears out of his eyes. For a second Virgil flinched backwards. _He’s gonna punch me and hurt me and I messed everything up-_

Roman pulled Virgil into an awkward two-second hug. He smiled at him.   
  
_“ I’m feeling better,_  
 _Thank you for listening”_  
 _The boy with messy hair_  
 _Then disappeared_

-Timeskip to the next day-  
  
 _Alright today’s the day! or so I thought_  
 _Just as I took both of my shoes off_

Virgil hefted his backpack on his shoulders. He tightened his hoodie. For a second the sleeves pulled up to reveal an arm littered with cuts. He yanked his sleeve back down. 

The elevator rose to the twelfth floor once again.

Virgil pushed open the door, putting his foot on the first step.

_Click. Click._

The wind whistled in his face. Virgil reached down to take off his sneakers. 

_Crap._

_Patton._

_There was but a boy short as can be._   
_Despite myself, I go and scream_

Virgil called his name over the winds. “Patton!”

The once-bubbly, optimistic teenager turned. His round glasses framed eyes dripping with tears.

Virgil stared at him. Patton gave him a small smile before breaking down in tears, words spewing out of his mouth.  
  
 _The tiny boy_  
 _Told me his woes_  
 _"You’ve probably heard_  
 _It all before"_  
  
 _“Everyone ignores me_  
 _Everyone lies_  
 _And I don't know_  
 _The reason why...”_

Virgil should really learn to control his impulse better, because suddenly he was screaming, letting his fear, frustration, anger, and sadness out in his words.   
  
_For god’s sake please!_  
 _Are you serious?_  
 _I just can’t believe_  
 _Because of some_  
 _Dumb excuse_  
 _You got here before me_  
  
 _Cause’ even so_  
 _You’re still loved by everyone at home_  
 _There’s always dinner waiting on_  
 _The table, you know!_

  
Virgil covered his mouth in shock. _Did I really just say that?_ He asked himself. He waited for Patton to strike him down, to hurt him like he deserved. 

Instead he was met with a crushing embrace. 

_“Thank you”_   
_He sniffed, holding back his tears_

_The boy short as can be_   
_Then disappeared_

  
...  
  
 _And like that_  
 _He came back there everyday_  
 _I listened to his tale_  
 _I made him turn away_  
  
 _But yet there was no one who_  
 _Would do this for me_  
 _No way I could_  
 _Let out all this pain..._

Nobody understood. Nobody cared. Nobody else in the school knew what it was like to come home from school and hide in your bedroom so your drunk father wouldn’t see your face. Nobody was hungry for nonexistent dinner at night and nonexistent breakfast in the morning. Nobody else wore the same hoodie every day, the same shirt every other day, the same jeans every week. No one had arms that were red and pained with blood every night. Nobody else wore eyeshadow under their eyes to hide dark circles. Nobody else was afraid to fall asleep because of nightmares.

At least, that was what he thought. 

Virgil just wanted to end it. 

-Timeskip-  
  
 _For the very first time, there I see_  
 _Someone with the same pains as me_

Virgil stood in the empty elevator as it rose to the twelfth floor. 

He walked past his apartment. 

_Click. Click._

The wind whistled past his face.

He slid his sneakers off his feet.

_Oh crap._

_Ethan._

_Having done this time and time again_   
_He wore a yellow cardigan_

Ethan, known more commonly as Deceit or just Dee, had half a face. The right side of his face was perfectly normal, but the left had burn scars and a long, jagged cut that ran from his cheekbone to the corner of his mouth. Wounds from a devastating flaming car crash that had killed his mom and paralyzed his dad. He wore a hat to cover his face, a capelet, and yellow gloves. It was rumored that his hands were scarred beyond repair. **(I’m not crying, you’re crying)**

Virgil has always felt sorry for him. And he felt even worse when Ethan rubbed his arms, letting his usual emotionless facade drop as he stared at the twelve-storey drop before him.

_“I just wanna stop the scars that grow_   
_Ev-e-ry time that I go home_   
_That’s why I came up here instead”_   
_Thats what the boy in the cardigan said_   
  
_Whoa wait, what the hell did I just say?_   
_I couldn’t care less either way_   
_But in the moment I just screamed_   
_Something I could never believe_

_“Hey, don’t do, it please!”_

The words rang through the air before Virgil could stop them. They tumbled from his mouth like seeds from a puffy white dandelion and whirled in the wind. For a moment Virgil hoped that Dee hadn’t heard him. 

Then he turned around and stared Virgil dead in the eye. 

_Aa, what to do?!_   
_I can’t stop this boy_   
_Oh this is new!_   
_For once I think_   
_I’ve bitten off_   
_More than I can chew_

...He had to say something. Virgil rubbed his arms, wishing that a hole would open in the ground and swallow him. _Anything_ would be better than this.   
  
_But even so_  
 _Can't you leave me be so I can’t see_  
 _Your horrible situation!_  
 _It's too much for me!_

Deceit cracked a small smile at him before turning his eyes wistfully towards the cloud-covered sky. And then he said something Virgil would remember for the rest of his life, however short it may be. 

_“I guess it's not_   
_My time today”_

Virgil stood there, shocked, as Ethan pulled his shoes back on. 

_He looked away from_  
 _Me and disappeared_  
  
-Timeskip-

  
Finally. 

The wind whistled in Virgil’s ears as he looked at the dizzying drop before him and sighed. 

_There’s no one here today_  
 _I guess it’s time_  
 _It’s just me_  
 _Myself and I_  
  
 _There’s no one_  
 _Who can interfere_  
 _No one to get_  
 _In my way here_  
  
Virgil pulled his sneakers off and set them on the ground. _Click._

  
_Taking off my yellow cardigan_   
_Letting my messy hair come down_   
_This tiny boy, short as can be_   
_Is gonna jump now_   
_And be free_


	38. Hamilton(Prinxiety)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil doesn't think a musical could make him emotional. When he loses a bet to Roman, he proves him very wrong.
> 
> (Please ignore the fact that Virgil makes a Hamilton reference in 'My Negative Thinking')
> 
> TW: censored swearing, bad writing, God’s name used in vain, extended metaphors

Virgil pushed the door to Roman’s room open. 

“Took you long enough.” Roman smirked. 

Virgil sighed. “Hamilton can’t possibly be as good as you say it is.” 

Roman raises an eyebrow. “Wanna bet?” 

“No.” Virgil hated bets. Whenever he made them he would always stress so much about whether he would lose or not that his anxiety sucked all the fun out of it. 

Roman patted the space on the bed beside him. “Shall we start?” 

Roman had challenged Virgil to a Nerf War the other day. Virgil had risen to the challenge and failed. Roman has smirked, telling him that if he surrendered, he had to listen to Hamilton with him. 

Virgil hasn’t particularly wanted a nerf blast to the head, so he had followed. Now, he was wondering whether the hit would’ve hurt as much as this.

Virgil reluctantly laid by Roman, folding his hands behind his head. “Let’s get this over with, Princey.” He muttered. 

Roman smirked. “As you wish” 

The music started. “Alexander Hamilton” was playing. 

“So he was an orphan. And an immigrant. And he was good at writing.” Virgil asked. 

“Shut up and listen.” 

“Ok, did the first song cover twenty years?” 

“Yes. His tragic backstory!” 

Virgil sighed. “Can I go now?” 

“Nope.”

‘Aaron Burr, Sir’ came on. 

“This guy’s ok. Honestly? I agree. I don’t get how people are so extroverted.” Virgil huffed. 

Roman winked. “Trust me, you will not think he’s ok by the end of this.” 

“Ohmygod why are they rapping so fast? Like, chill.” Virgil scoffed. 

Roman teared up. “DON’T you dare insult John Laurens!” He hugged a turtle plushie. Virgil looked at him funny, then shrugged. (Little did he know he would be doing the same thing every time he listened to it. The author isn’t sobbing about Philip Hamilton right now. Why would they be?)

-‘My Shot’-  
Virgil sighed. “There goes the fourth wall- my god. Is this song six minutes of them getting drunk and rapping about how much they love war and their country and revolution?

“Basically. But you have to admit it’s catchy.” 

“I mean... I guess.”   
  
-The Story Of Tonight-

“So this is the same thing but they’re extra drunk and singing about their legacy instead of rapping.” Virgil scoffed. 

“Yes. But it’s still awesome.” 

-The Schuyler Sisters-

“Ok, where did this come from? Damn.” Virgil couldn’t stop himself from tapping along to the beat. 

“I told you you’d like it.” Roman smirked. 

Virgil blushed. “Shut up, Princey.” He muttered.

“You tell em’ Angelica!” Virgil exclaimed. Roman smiled. 

-Farmer Refuted-

“Ok, this dude is really dumb.” Virgil scoffed. “Like, seriously. Keep your opinions to yourself. We don’t care.” 

-You’ll be Back-

Virgil blinked. “is it just me or is this song really, _really_ gay?”

“This is the gayest song in the musical. Unfortunately, society was pretty much homophobic in 1776.” Roman said. 

“Also this guy is psycho. Did I mention that?” 

Roman shrugged. “Either that or he’s Remus.” He couldn’t help but smile at Virgil’s snort. 

-Right Hand Man-

“Wait, so they’re at war now?” 

“Yep. We’re getting to the fun part!” 

Virgil groaned. “Ohhhh. Someone’s gonna die soon, I can tell.”

“Why does he want to fight? He could die! Personally, I’d love to write instead of fight.” Virgil said. 

“He wants to help his country.” Roman said. 

“But he- never mind.” Virgil stopped arguing, realizing that Roman would not give up. 

-A Winter’s Ball-

“Ok, this is a prime example of men thinking they own women. NoPe. Hell no. Straight. Don’t like it.” Virgil grumbled. 

-Helpless-

“Wait. Eliza is- ugh. Idiots.” 

“It’s a good song, though!” Roman protested. 

“Awww. That’s cute. This is gonna end badly, I can feel it.” 

Roman gripped Virgil’s hand, mouthing the lyrics. “Eliza, I don’t have a dollar to my name. An acre of land, a troop to command, a dollop of fame. All I have’s my armor, a tolerance for pain, a couple o’ college credit’s and my top notch brain.” 

Virgil blushed hard and Roman pulled him closer, leaving plenty of room for Virgil to push him away. He didn’t. “Insane! Your family brings out a different side of me. Peggy confides in me, Angelica tried to take a bite of me, no stress, my love for you is never in doubt. We’ll get a little place in Harlem and we’ll figure it out.” 

Virgil could feel the tension in the air, the silent pause before the storm. Sparks seemed to crack through the air. He could see the ominous clouds moving on the horizon. He blushed hard. Roman leaned in. Virgil closed his eyes. 

Satisfied came on. 

Virgil snapped open his eyes at Angelica’s confession. “Oh sh*t. Oh, that’s so sad!” 

Roman smirked, cupping Virgil’s cheek. They hadn’t actually kissed. Their lips had been mere millimeters away from each other, but they hadn’t touched. 

“Oh. My god. This is not where I thought this would go.” Virgil gripped Roman. “Also, I can tell this is foreshadowing. For what, exactly, I don’t know. But I don’t like it.” 

-The Story Of Tonight(Reprise)-

“Hold up. Go back 10 seconds.” Virgil held up his hands. 

Roman obliged, smirking as he fiddled with his phone. 

Virgil mouthed along with Lafayette. “You are ze worst, Burr.” 

“Wait, Burr has a crush on someone?” 

Roman smirked. “You are not prepared for the next song. 

-Wait for It-

Virgil wasn’t. 

“Oh my god- where the hell did this song come from?” Virgil hummed along with the melody, tapping on his leg. “Oh god-oh god this song is so good.” 

Roman smirked. “I told you.” 

Virgil had Wait for It stuck in his head for the rest of the day 

-Stay Alive-

“I agree with Eliza. Everyone should just stay alive. Wait-who is this idiot?” Virgil tensed up. “How many people are gonna die?”

“A thousand soldiers die in a hundred degree heat.” Roman mouthed along with the music. 

Virgil sighed. “Question answered. Wait- oh god... I swear if Laurens dies-“ (author: knowing full well that he dies) 

-Ten Duel Commandments-

“Ok, that introduction? I hope they sing it all the way through every time. But these people are ruffians. Are they killing each other? They’re on the same side...” Virgil facepalmed. 

Roman ran a hand through Virgil’s hair. 

-Meet Me Inside-

“Ok. They’re idiots. They’re all idiots.” Virgil sighed as Washington sent Hamilton home. He threw his hands in the air. Roman just smiled, absentmindedly admiring Virgil’s lips. 

-That Would Be Enough-

“Wait- she’s pregnant now? Oh sh*t. Oh sh*t.” Virgil sighed. “They’ve only been married for what-six months?” 

“Ok that settles it. Burr and Eliza are the only smart people in this musical.” Virgil muttered. He silently gripped Roman’s hand in his own. Roman was warm. 

-Guns and Ships-

Virgil’s head shot up. “Ok, this is _awesome_.” 

“I’m taking this horse by the reins making redcoats redder with bloodstains!” Roman lip-synced along with Lafayette. 

“Wait. They literally just sent Hamilton away two songs ago. They already want him back?” Virgil scoffed. Roman nodded. Virgil sighed. “Well sh*t.”

-History Has its Eyes on You-(holy crap not even halfway done and already at 1100 words XD)

“Oh god. That sounds so stressful.” Virgil sighed. “Glad I don’t have that kind of pressure on me all the time.”

“Thomas has 3 million subscribers on YouTube.” Roman pointed out. 

“Well sh*t.”

-Yorktown(The World Turned Upside Down)- 

“Ok. This song is ok. Bit too action-packed for my taste.” Virgil said. 

Meanwhile Roman was Fortnite dancing to the beat. 

-What Comes Next?-

“This guy is still relevant?” Virgil sighed. “Lovely. And he’s not even as gay as last time.”

-Dear Theodosia-

“Aww.” Virgil said. “I hope none of them die.” 

Roman wheezed. 

-Non-Stop-

“So he’s hard working, is what they’re saying. And he’s neglecting his wife once again. And Angelica’s moving away.” Virgil said. 

“Yep.” Roman said, popping the p. 

“Ok, how far are we into this musical? It’s been like an hour already.”

“Only halfway.”

“Oh sh*t. Why is this musical so long?” Virgil complained.

-Laurens Interlude(I know it’s not in the original cast recording but it deserves to be)-

“Oh god. Oh no.” Virgil whispered. 

“I told you not to insult him.” Roman said. 

A tear rolled down Virgil’s cheek. “This musical is a lot more emotional then I thought it was gonna be. Oh wow.” 

Roman gripped Virgil’s hand 

-What’d I Miss-

“Y’know, this guy kind of sounds like Lafayette. Did you notice that?” Virgil pointed out.

“That’s because he’s played by the same guy.” Roman informed Virgil.

“Oh cool.” 

-Cabinet Battle #1-

“Wow. Ok. So he doesn’t want to do Hamilton’s plan, but he doesn’t have another plan?” 

“Basically.” 

Virgil sighed. “And then Hamilton threatens to shove his foot up his ass.”

-Take a Break-

“What is this foreshadowing?” Virgil asked. “If someone dies this soon after Laurens-“

“Oh, it’s worse than that.” Roman assured him.

“I swear if the kid dies-“

-Say No to This-

“Oh. _Oh_. Oh god don’t do it- you have a fricking wife, bastard!” Virgil exclaimed.

“He did it.” 

Virgil inhaled. “Ok, this is a whole new level of idiot. Aaaaaaaaand now he’s gonna lie about it.” 

“You called?” Deceit smirked, walking into the room. Roman threw a pillow at him. “Get out, Fibber on the Roof!”

-The Room Where it Happens-

“This is pretty good but WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENED TO ELIZA? This musical is so fricking _vague_.” Virgil complained.

Roman smirked. “You’ll see.” Virgil elbowed him.

“Ok so he’s whining about not being included? But.... why? He’s like in his 30’s now, isn’t he?” 

Roman shrugged. “He’s Burr.” 

“I guess.”

-Schuyler Defeated-

“Oh. So because he was mad, he took Philip Schuyler’s seat in the senate?” Virgil asked. Roman nodded. Virgil sighed. “Hamilton‘s not gonna like that.” 

-Cabinet Battle #2-

“There’s another one?” Virgil asked. “Damn these people are horrible at getting along with each other.”

Suddenly Virgil sat up. “Wait. Hamilton promised Lafayette that he would be with him when he led the French Revolution... and now he’s arguing against helping him?” He shook his head. “Ok. Officially worst friend ever. And didn’t Lafayette die?” 

“Yeah.” Roman murmured. He wasn’t really focused on what Virgil was saying. He was more focused on the way his bangs fell over his eyes and the careless smudges of eyeshadow under his golden-brown orbs.

-Washington on Your Side-

“Oh. So they’re pissed off now. Honestly! Everyone in this musical should be more calm. I vote Eliza for president.” Virgil snapped.

-One Last Time-

Virgil snorted. “‘Whatever it is, Jefferson started it’. He just immediately blames Jefferson with Zero consent.” 

Roman shrugged. “They hated each other.” 

-I Know Him-

“Ok, this guy is still here? Is he needed?” 

“Not really. But he’s the main villain.” 

“Only for the first half!” Virgil protested.

-The Adams Administration-

“Oh god he’s gonna do something he regrets I can already tell.” Virgil hissed.

Roman smirked. “And there it is.”

Virgil facepalmed. “The idiot just got himself fired.”

-We Know-

“Wait- do they know?” 

Roman stayed frustratingly silent. He smirked.

“Oh. They know. They most definitely know.” Virgil confirmed. 

-Hurricane-

“This song is foreshadowing way too much. What is he gonna do? Oh god. Wait don’t do that. Don’t-“ Virgil started, then glanced at Roman with a HeLpLeSs expression.

“He did it.” Roman confirmed.

-The Reynolds Pamphlet-

“Ok, you know when I said that Hamilton had reached a whole new level of idiot? This is like, twice that amount of stupidity. Nobody was accusing him of an affair! Honestly.” 

“He was pretty dumb.... but STILL AWESOME!” Roman persisted.

“I wonder what his wife thinks...” Virgil murmured.

-Burn-

The anxious side blinked. “Oh. That’s what she thinks.”

-Blow us All Away-

“This song is unnaturally cheery.” Virgil sighed. “I’m getting a bad feeling.” 

“Aww, the kid’s all grown up now!” 

Roman prepared himself to cry. 

“Oh no. OH NO.” Virgil realized that he was going to a duel. “OH GOD NO DON’T GO-“

A gunshot echoed through the room. Three seconds early.

-Stay Alive(Reprise)-

“Wait- oh nonononononono. No. Did he just _die_?” Virgil stared at Roman, outraged. 

Roman sang softly and sadly along. “Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, neuf.”

-It’s Quiet Uptown-

A tear rolled down Virgil’s cheek. 

“You crying?” 

“Shut up, Princey.” 

Roman did. He was crying too, though he didn’t want to admit in. Instead he pulled the anxious side close into a hug. Virgil accepted it. Roman brushed a tear off of Virgil’s cheek. “I never thought a musical could be this... sad.” 

“Nobody did, believe me. The Lin Manuel Miranda changed the world.” Roman held Virgil close.

“Forgiveness.” He whispered softly into his ear. “Can you imagine...”

-The Election of 1800-

“So it’s Burr versus Jefferson.” Virgil murmured, still shaken by the last song. He snuggled closer into Roman’s chest.

“Yes. Nobody liked John Adams very much.” 

“Wait. Jefferson thinks he can get Hamilton to vote for him? When he was the one to destroy his reputation?” 

“Well apparently he can.” Virgil snorted a moment later. “There people’s opinions change all the time. You notice that?” 

-Your Obedient Servant-

“Oh no.” Virgil murmured. “More foreshadowing. I know I shouldn’t be worried if they’re just writing letters, but how can you expect me not to be?” 

“You should be worried.” Roman stroked Virgil’s hair. They had ended laying side by side, mere inches from each other. 

“Wait.” Virgil’s head shot up. “They’re gonna _duel_?” 

-Best of Wives and Best of Women-

“Oh no no no. Do not leave that house, idiot.” Virgil growled. 

“...he left the house.” Roman admitted.

“Ohhhhhhh no.” 

-The World Was Wide Enough-

“Oh god WHY ARE THEY ALL IDIOTS?” Virgil groaned. “Why are they having a fricking duel? They’re GROWN MEN!” 

Roman didn’t say anything. He just gripped Virgil’s hand. 

“Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.” 

Despite himself, Roman whispered the lyrics quietly. “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine... NUMBER TEN! PLACES, FIRE!” 

“They cut away at the exact moment he shot, didn’t they.” Virgil gripped his arms. “I don’t like this one bit.”

Roman stroked Virgil’s cheek and Virgil melted into the touch, unconsciously moving towards the creative side. 

“No. Nononono. He wants to die? Is this guy insane?” 

A gunshot rang through the air once again. It was followed closely with Burr uttering those fateful, terrible seven words. 

‘I strike him right between his ribs’

Virgil laid there, shell-shocked. “But... he aimed for the sky. You’re not supposed to shoot.” 

“He didn’t see it in time.” 

“And now he’s getting _drunk_? He just flipping KILLED HIM?” Virgil snapped angrily. 

Roman hugged him wordlessly. 

-Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story-

Virgil was crying again.

“Oh my god, Eliza. She is literally the best wife ever.” Virgil whispered. 

The storm clouds were gathering again. 

Roman pressed closer to Virgil. He was tearing up. Every time he heard this song, he cried. There was no stopping the inevitable. 

Virgil felt the tension in the air. 

The smell of ozone. 

Roman glanced at Virgil’s lips. 

A crackle of lightning. 

Virgil nodded slightly. 

The clouds broke as Virgil surged upward to meet Roman. And finally, they were kissing. Virgil pressed into Roman’s chest and Roman cupped his face, another hand running through Virgil’s hair. Virgil’s hands were restless, as if they couldn’t decide where to go. They traveled from his hips to his cheeks to his hair to his neck to his chest. Roman stopped him and gripped one of his hands in his own, placing the other on his hip. Virgil’s lips were soft and sweet one moment, then full of passion and love the next. The creative side kissed for all he was worth, trying to show his love for Virgil in every stroke of his cheek, every time their lips moved in sync. 

Unfortunately Roman had to breathe. 

He slowly, sadly disconnected the kiss, instead wrapping his arms tight around Virgil. The anxious side’s arms encircled his neck and his legs wrapped around his torso. 

“I love you.” Roman whispered. 

Virgil pressed his forehead to Ronan’s. “I love you, too.” He breathed. 

In the background the music faded. The last hints of the final chord were still hanging in the air. 

_Who lives, who dies, who tells your story..._


	39. Prinxiety Headcanons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read the title.

Roman randomly asked Virgil out one day, and Virgil said yes

Roman does something dumb and Virgil either leaves him to his fate or saves him. the conversation goes something like this: Virgil: You're an idiot. Roman: Yeah, but I'm your idiot.

Roman is a bottom.

Virgil gets touch-starved really easily and Roman cuddles him

When Roman is gone for .2 seconds Virgil misses him.

Roman will just randomly do some overdramatic romantic gesture and Virgil will blush and basically become a huan tomato.

*insert cute picture of Roman and Virgil sharing ice cream*

They watch Disney together. way too often.

Neither goes to bed earlier than 11 pm.

Same as Analogical but it's the other way around, Roman plays with Virgil's hair and Virgil just melts.

Roman/Virgil and Deceit/Remus definitely have either a nerf war or a prank war ongoing at any given time. sometimes both at once.

Roman will just randomly start singing and Virgil will pick it up and sing a duet.

Roman will flirt with Virgil and make him blush... after a month of this Virgil flirts back and Roman is a stuttering mess. He can flirt but if someone flirts with him he gets super flustered and red-faced.

Virgil has nightmare, Roman comforts him.

They have pet names for each other.

Roman will just burst into Virgil's room and demand cuddles.

Once they get together, they are basically the shippers and they pair all the other sides together.

Virgil helps Roman with his work, pointing out any mistakes.

Sometimes Virgil is just sitting on the couch and Roman will get bored and start kissing his neck. Virgil will freeze before melting into the touch.

Roman is the big spoon.

Roman goes on perilous adventures in imagination. Virgil stays in Roman's room, holding one of his shirts or sweaters, and nuzzling into it because it smells like him.

Virgil is very clingy.

Virgil and roman definitely listen to musicals together.


	40. 30 day ship challenge!

images.app.goo.gl/Me5LJ2B7Q3eGTbTT7


	41. Day 1: Prinxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman and Virgil dancing in the kitchen at 3 am.
> 
> TW: Censored swearing, heated kissing, God's name used in vain, excessive use of musical language

Virgil walked downstairs. It was a normal morning. As in, he was still up at 2 am like usual, walking downstairs for a glass of water. He stepped into the kitchen and did a double take. 

His boyfriend, Roman, was sitting on the counter, in baggy Gryffindor pajamas, casually sipping a mug of hot cocoa, looking _so f*cking hot_ that Virgil couldn’t believe it. He immediately stopped. Hydration could wait.

Instead, Virgil just admired him, leaning on the doorframe silently. Roman’s bangs, brushed casually to the side. His small smile, so subtle yet still charming. His brown eyes so deep you could drown in them. 

What Virgil wouldn’t give to kiss him right now. 

He could feel himself blushing as Roman looked up and caught him staring. A cocky smile spread across his face. He set down his mug and hopped off the counter, walking up to Virgil. Without a word, he intertwined his fingers with Virgil’s and raised his hand to shoulder level, placing his other hand on the anxious side’s shoulder. 

“Roman, what are you...” Virgil trailed off as Roman brushed a finger across his lips silently. “Shh. Dance with me.” He gripped Virgil’s hand, guiding it to rest on his shoulder. 

Despite himself, Virgil nodded. He was about to be swept off his feet.

And Roman started, silently stepping. Virgil followed his lead, enticed by the smile on his face and the glint in his eye. Soon he is swaying as they twirl, gliding along the tile floor. They spin out and in once again, Roman holding him close. Roman guides Virgil’s movements as they waltz, dancing silently to a nonexistent orchestra. But somehow Virgil can hear it, the whisper of a violin, the faintest echo of a piano chord. Roman sweeps him along, and he is humming a soft melody. It’s the same one in Virgil’s head. Roman twirls Virgil around, the smile on his face evident in his movements. Virgil smiles and suddenly he is humming too, swept up in a magical dance created only by Roman’s humming, his steps on the kitchen floor, and his grip on Virgil’s hand and shoulder. The orchestra is going wild, and Virgil hears the melody soar. Violinists let notes ring through the air, accompanied by staccato sixteenth notes and whirls of sound from the woodwinds. A cymbal crashes. Roman’s footwork is an instrument in itself, pitches rising and falling in chords and notes and waves of sound as the music crescendos to its climax...

If you had looked into the mind palace kitchen that day at two am, you would’ve seen one of two things. Two crazy people waltzing and humming in the kitchen at an ungodly hour, or a couple unabashedly, madly, fully in love with each other. 

The music stopped, the magnificent final chord fading into nothing. 

And Roman pulled Virgil into a kiss, their lips meeting passionately. Virgil wraps his arm around Roman’s neck, letting the warm feeling he has in his heart spread throughout him. Sparks fly as Roman runs his hand through Virgil’s hair, his fingers stroking Virgil’s cheek. Virgil grants Roman passage and he explores Virgil’s mouth, pulling him closer. And Virgil is flying, he can hear the notes of the orchestra again because Roman is his very own orchestra, and right now he is putting on a show. 

_Time for a standing ovation_ , Virgil thinks, slipping his tongue into Roman’s mouth and kissing him passionately. He tastes like cinnamon and vanilla and hot chocolate and Roman, Virgil’s favorite of them all. Virgil cups Roman’s cheek and smiles against his mouth. He loves Roman. He loves every part of his weird, wonderful, passionate, extravagant prince. He loves his smiles and his words, his songs and his tears, his good days and his bad. 

“God, I love you.” Virgil whispered against Roman’s mouth. 

Roman pulled Virgil closer, scooping him up in his arms. “I love you too, my emo nightmare.”


	42. Day 2: Remile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emile is sad boi, Remy is comforting.
> 
> TW: Sad boi therapist, censored cussing.
> 
> (This is dedicated to Lily. You know who you are)

Emile was sad. 

The normally bubbly, peppy therapist was driving home from his office to his apartment. The car, usually filled with music, was silent. His tie was askew, his glasses were crooked, his hair was less than perfect, and the smile on his face was nearly nonexistent. The thermos in his cup holder was half-full of forgotten lukewarm tea.

He pulled into a driveway, the gravel road crunching under his tires. A minute later, he turned the knob to his apartment and closed the door behind him, sighing.

His boyfriend's face shot up. "Oh. Nope. No sadness today, babe. What happened?"

Emile shook his head, forcing himself to smile. "Nothing! I'm fine."

"No you're not." Remy walked up to him and took his hand, leading him to the sofa and taking his work bag. He sat down, letting Remy take care of him. "Tell me what's wrong. I'm no therapist, but I know it's not ok to bottle up emotions like this."

Emile didn't meet his eyes.

Remy took off his sunglasses and raised Emile's chin with his finger. "Hey... it's ok to cry." A small smile cracked his face.

Emile blinked, a tear running down his cheek. He folded himself into Remy's embrace. "Am I... too childish?" he whispered, his voice shaking.

"No!" Remy's voice was shocked. "Who gave you that idea?"

"Just-just one of my new clients. He came to me with his daughter, asking what my methods were to help depression. I-I told him that I use cartoons t-to teach therapy. I showed him my methods. And-and-“ Emile stopped. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes and he let out a sob. “He said that my methods were childish and that they would never work. That I was too unprofessional to be working at this job. That I should be actually helping people, not h-hurting them or distracting them with s-silly childish cartoons.” Emile broke down into sobs. 

“That b*tch.” Remy hissed, pulling his boyfriend close. “Ok, first of all, your methods may be unconventional, but they work better than whatever he was doing with his daughter. Second, you are professional. Just like the people who make those cartoons. Do you really think someone who wasn’t professional could get all the rewards or earn all the income you do? Third, you are helping people, no matter what anyone says. You have helped countless people with their mental health. Hell, you even helped me! So, babe, I want you to know that that man was wrong in every way. You are an amazing therapist, and nothing anyone says can ever change that. Got it?” 

“T-thanks, Rem.” Emile sniffed, his tears subsiding. He leaned into the hug. “I’m sorry for crying.”

“Hey. Somebody smart once told me that if you bottle up your emotions, you lie to yourself. And you don’t want to do that, do you?” Remy pulled Emile into a quick kiss. “Crying is human, and it is needed.” 

“I love you so much... thank you.” Emile smiled. He may not be the most conventional of therapists, but he sure was the greatest of them all.


	43. Day 3: Roceit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit wakes up one day to find that... he can't lie. And neither can Thomas.
> 
> TW: censored cussing, snake, touch-starved snek bab, God's name used in vain, Remus being himself

Contrary to popular belief, Remus was the shipper. 

After he started dating Logan, he noticed his brother’s crush on Deceit. It was quite obvious, really. 

So like any good brother would do, he set them up. 

The thing was.... he did it in his own unique way. He would lock them in a closet together, but the author’s already done that and they need to spice it up. However, he had another plan. 

He was snooping through his nerdy boyfriend’s room when he found a recipe for a truth serum. And Remus, being himself, conjured it and made it stronger, so that only he had the antidote. 

He knew for a fact that Deceit liked Roman. It was easy to spot. Not to others, maybe, but Remus had known Deceit for years. He knew him better than any other side. 

He watched Deceit drink the tainted glass of water with no suspicion. Remus made sure to have a camera at the ready. 

**-Deceit’s POV-**

Deceit woke up. Immediately, he noticed something different. He didn’t know what, but _something_ was off. 

He hated it when his heightened, snakelike senses were vague. 

Deceit rose out of bed, stretching his arms above his head. His forked tongue flicked out to taste the air in a brief yawn. Opening his closet, he took out his normal gray-purple shirt and black capelet. He took off his Slytherin t-shirt and got dressed. 

He grabbed his comb and brushed his hair back, trying to tame his curls before giving up and flipping his hat onto his head. Deceit summoned all of his arms. Usually he just has two, as the other four come and go as they please. They were tricky, not unlike Deceit himself. The three arms on Deceit’s left side had scales on them, one almost completely covered in scales. 

After pulling on his gloves, Deceit exited the bathroom and went over to the habitat in the corner of his room. Inside there were a few rocks and a bright yellow corn snek about the length of Deceit’s arm. Deceit smiled, reaching into the tank to pick him up. He had named it Salazar. The snek wrapped itself loosely around Deceit’s arm. Deceit stroked it softly, and it let out a contented purr-like noise. 

“Sso pretty,” Deceit murmured.

Then he realized what was wrong.

His head snapped up. He went to the bathroom once again. Salazar slithered up his arm and perched on his shoulders. 

Deceit faced himself in the mirror, looking himself in the eye. “My name is Remus.” He said. 

Or tried to say. 

When he got to the part where he should say ‘Remus’, his voice stopped working. His tongue lay limp in his mouth. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t make his mouth form the word. Instead, he said, “My name is Deceit.”

He tried a different approach. “I’m straight.” The words should’ve fallen out of his mouth like leaves from an oak tree in late autumn. 

Instead, he said “I’m gay.“. His mouth stubbornly refused to obey him once again. 

“Sh*t!” Deceit fear was confirmed. He tried one more time, just to make sure. “I represent Logic.” He tried to say. Instead, “I represent lies” echoed through the room. 

_I can’t lie._

Deceit ran his hands through his hair quickly. He was starting to panic. He literally represented lies. If he couldn’t do his job.....

That meant that Thomas couldn’t lie either. Which meant he couldn’t act. 

Which meant the others would probably blame him. 

And right on cue, he felt an irresistible tug on his heart. He rose up swiftly, his eyes panicked. 

Deceit groaned, looking up at the light sides. “What?” 

Virgil looked at him. “He’s fine. I don’t see why we’re all concerned.” 

“Well then why can’t I lie? I don’t know what’s wrong and it’s kind of scary... ok, that was unnecessary, why am I reeling so much?” Thomas worried. 

“I’m scared too.” The words popped out of Deceit’s mouth before he could stop them. He slapped a hand over his mouth as everyone looked at him. 

“Are you... telling the truth?” Logan looked at him, surprised. 

“It’s not like I have a choice! Look, I don’t know what happened but suddenly I can’t lie which means I can’t do my job which means you can’t lie. And it’s really scary because my lies are the only thing protecting me and you from society and ARGHHHH!” Deceit gripped his hair in frustration. 

“That is not good.” Logan admitted. 

“Oh god. Of all sides, did it have to be _you_?” Virgil groaned. 

“Do you have any idea what caused it?” Patton asked worriedly. 

“If I did, I probably wouldn’t be here!” Deceit snapped. 

“It was probably my brother.” Roman reasoned. 

“Wait, guys.....” Virgil started. “Thomas has an audition for a show tomorrow. If Deceit can’t lie by then...” he trailed off. 

“I won’t be able to act. Oh, sh*t.” Thomas realized. 

Roman sighed. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” He dramatically raised an arm. Remus rose up beside him. “Oooooh! Brother dearest finally realized that he needs me!” The intrusive side cackled. 

“Actually, Deceit needs you.” Virgil said. 

“What did you do to him?” Roman snapped, raising his sword threateningly. 

“Who said I did anything? Maybe I did something, maybe I didn’t. Who knows? Byeeeeeeeeeee!” Remus cackled, sinking out. He obviously didn’t want to help in any way. 

“Well, that’s leading us nowhere.” Patton sighed. 

Deceit groaned. “I hate this.” 

“I do too”, Roman admitted. “As much as I take credit for your skill in acting and performance, Deceit actually harbors a lot of that. He’s probably the reason you are where you are today. If he can’t do his job...” the creative side trailed off. 

“We’re screwed.” Virgil finished. 

“If you give me a couple of hours, I can research Deceit’s predicament. Maybe I can find a solution.” Logan said. “However, that may take some time. Presently, though, that seems like our best option.” 

“But what about Deceit? He’s.... not feeling very well...” Patton asked, seemingly concerned. 

“Understatement of the century.” Deceit muttered, holding his head in his hands. 

“I suggest that one of us comfort him. Patton, the effects of Deceit’s room on you might be too much, as the moral side, and I doubt Virgil is willing to do that. However, Roman, Deceit’s room might not affect you as much. Creativity and Deceit are not as different as you might think. Plus, without Thomas there, his room will have less effect on you. I estimate that you would need to be in his room for well over a day for it to have any effect on you whatsoever.” 

_Roman. Of all sides, did it have to be him_? Deceit was the most awkward around the creative side. And not just because he was the most relatable. Because of his charming smile, his outgoing attitude, and his unique ability to make Deceit smile. His big ego and huge imagination only added to his effect. Deceit sunk to his room without a word.

Unfortunately, Roman followed. 

Deceit ignored him, laying on his bed. He faced the wall, sighing. 

Roman sat down on the bed. “Hey... do you need to talk?”

“I thought you were the good guy.” Deceit said without thinking. 

Roman smirked. “I am!” 

“Well then, why are you associating yourself with _me_? I’m the bad guy. The main villain.” Deceit asked. His thoughts were reeling. He hugged himself. 

Roman shrugged. “I once thought Virgil was the bad guy. But he’s not. He’s protecting Thomas. And I learned not to fully judge any side on what they used to be.” He eyed Deceit. “Or are now.

“My brother is a dark side.” Roman continued. “And I’m fine with that. I may not... agree with him on most things. But, to quote the words of the Merchant from Aladdin, ‘Like so many things, it is not what’s on the outside, but what’s on the inside that counts.’.” He reached over and let his hand brush Deceit’s. 

“Leave it to the prince to try to comfort me with a Disney quote.” Deceit snorted, repressing a smile.

“It worked, didn’t it?” Roman asked.

“I guess it did.” _Why do I love this man_? Deceit asked himself. 

“So..... why do you suddenly feel this way? Now that you can’t lie, I mean.” Ever the nosy prince, Roman asked a pretty personal question casually.

Deceit cradled his head in his hands to hide the blush on his cheeks, taking a deep breath. “It’s... scary. I build sort of an armor out of my lies, and when you tear that down.... I don’t know what I am. I don’t know who I am, without that. I don’t know what my purpose is.” He admitted. 

“I know what it is.” Roman said after a minute. 

“And what is that, oh so benevolent prince?”

“Protecting Thomas.” He said simply, gripping Deceit’s hand in his. “You said it yourself, if you can’t lie, you can’t protect Thomas from society. But Thomas doesn’t just need protecting from society. I think we all saw what you contribute, and we know that we need you. Whether we want you or not.”

“So you don’t want me around?”

“I do. Virgil and Patton might need to get used to you. But you were right. In the world we live in, lies are _absolutely_ necessary.” Roman smiled.

"Thank you." Deceit murmured gratefully. Up until this point, he hadn't believed he had any chance with Roman whatsoever. But this exchange was giving him new hope.

"Hey, you have a snek?" Roman asked, changing the subject and walking over to the terrarium.

"His name is Salazar." Deceit said.

"Like Salazar Slytherin?" Roman asked. "Nice."

"You wanna touch him?" Deceit asked, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. Roman nodded excitedly and Deceit smiled, walking over to the terrarium and scooping Salazar up in his arms. The snek curled itself loosely around Deceit's shoulders. "Go ahead."

Roman reached out a tentative hand to brush Salazar's scales. The snek stilled itself and let Roman stroke him, running his fingers along his long body. "He's so cool." Roman breathed.

Roman's hand accidentally brushed Deceit's scaled cheek. Deceit stiffened, flinching backwards and Roman quickly removed his hand. "Sorry! Sorry." Roman exclaimed.

Deceit shook his head. "No... it's fine." It was impossible to describe the sensation that had shot through him at Roman's touch. It was amazing. Sparks had shot through him, and a warmth had spread through his body, rushing through his veins, not unlike electricity. "I kind of... liked it..." He whispered.

Roman seemed to realize something. "Deceit." He said firmly, dropping his hand. "When was the last time someone touched you?"

"It's been a while. Three years." Deceit admitted. "And if I could've lied just then, I would have."

"Can I hug you?" Roman asked suddenly.

Deceit's face reddened. He just nodded, putting Salazar back in his tank.

And then Roman lunged at him and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him down onto the bed. Deceit was hollow. Or, he used to be. But right now Roman was gripping him tightly and pulling him closer. His hat fell off his head. Not really knowing what he was doing, Deceit buried his head in the crook of Roman's neck. Roman felt so _warm_ and so good. Deceit blushed, but at that moment he didn't really care. Him and Roman fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. Deceit became acutely aware of every point he was coming in contact with Roman.

"You feel nice." Deceit murmured, no longer inclined to lie. Roman smiled and pulled him closer, cupping his cheek. Suddenly, his actions seemed more... _roman_ tically inclined.

"Is this ok?" Roman murmured, raising Deceit's chin level with his.

Deceit swallowed. He knew what Roman was doing.

He couldn't lie to himself anymore. He wanted this more than anything. So he nodded.

Roman brought their faces closer together. Their lips were only millimeters apart.

Roman's breath stirred Deceit's hair.

Then Deceit leaned in the rest of the way, connecting their lips, and all he could think was, _finally, finally, finally_. He had wanted this for so, so long. And it was finally happening. He was kissing Roman.

The kiss was short but somehow infinite. Deceit held Roman's soft lips against his like they were treasure, cradling him gently. Roman reciprocated, pressing himself into Deceit's chest. Deceit's arms wrapped gently around his prince's neck. He summoned two more, letting his extra hands wrap loosely around Deceit's torso.

Roman slowly, sadly disconnected the kiss.

"I... I liked that." Deceit admitted.

"I think I love you." Roman breathed.

"I think... I feel the same."

And their lips were on one another again in a more passionate, desperate kiss than before. Deceit pulled Roman close, kissing him for all he was worth. Roman's hands ran through Deceit's curls, cuddling his snek close.

Yep, they definitely loved each other.

**~Bonus~**

"Alright. Pay up." Virgil held out his hand to Logan, smirking.

Logan groaned. "Already? How is Deceit that dumb? I can see Roman doing it, but still..."

"I don't know. I opened the door to give Deceit the antidote to the truth serum, and they were kissing like teenagers."

Logan sighed and handed the anxious side twenty bucks. "Idiots." He muttered.

Not too long after, Remus sent a video of Roman and Deceit making out in the group chat. Roman decked him.


	44. Demus/Dukeceit Headcanons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by Zombie2Hedgehog on Wattpad

  * Deceit is suuuuuuper clingy
  * When Remus first kisses Deceit it's sloppy and all over the place.
  * Deceit is top, but only because Remus is always bottom(except for Intrulogical, he's a switch then) and you cannot change my mind.
  * Again like Analogical, Remus plays with Deceit's hair and Deceit just _melts_.
  * Deceit gets mad at light sides, Remus reminds him that it's ok to be the villain.
  * Remus will just randomly kiss Deceit out of nowhere.
  * They answer the phone in crazy ways. for example:



**Deceit** : *calls Remus*

 **Remus** : Demented dukey deodorant! any time, any place, any flavor! Whatcha' eatin?

 **Random person in grocery store** : *backs away slowly*

  * Remus and Deceit watch Pixar instead of disney just to piss roman off
  * Remus and Deceit team up in either nerf wars or prank wars against Prinxiety
  * Remus either asked Deceit out in a McDonalds bathroom or he yeeted himself off of a building and yelled: "LISTEN UP YOU SLIMY SNEK I HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU WANNA F*CK?"
  * There relationship is suuuuuuuuper smutty
  * Remus stabs Deceit, Deceit says, "Ouch. That hurt so very much".
  * Remus proposed by saying, "Oh, f*ck it" and getting down on one knee. they were probably in an ungodly place, like for example a McDonalds bathroom-
  * Deceit is the big spoon
  * Deceit lets Remus sit in his lap while he works. Somehow it takes away from his villain aesthetic.
  * When Remus is gone for a millisecond Deceit misses him
  * Deceit will just fall asleep hugging Remus
  * Remus got Deceit a pet snek
  * They are the first of the sides to get married.
  * Remus has tentacles and he loves to hug Deceit with them. Deceit has six arms. Extreme hugging ensues.




	45. Day 4: Intrulogical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Logan loses a bet to his boyfriend Remus, he has to dye his hair...
> 
> TW: betting on friends, dying hair, setting people up, Remus being WAY ooc for the whole thing, making out because Intrulogical is fluffy and messy and you cannot change my mind.

"Hey nerd?"

Logan sighed. "What, Remus?"

"I bet you that I can get my brother and Virgil together within the next hour."

Logan sat up, straightening **(ha)**. "Bet me what?" _There's no_ way _he can get those two together in the span of sixty minutes_.

"If I win, I get to dye your hair." Remus smirked.

Logan sighed. His crazy boyfriend had been _begging_ to dye his hair for months now. "And if you lose?"

Remus shrugged. "That's for you to decide!"

Logan smirked. "No kisses for a week."

Remus stiffened. Logan knew for a fact that he _loved_ his kisses. So it surprised him when the intrusive side composed himself and smirked, holding out his hand. "It's a bet."

Logan shook without thinking much.

Forty-five minutes later, he regretted it.

His phone buzzed. Logan looked at it and immediately sighed. Remus had sent him a video of Roman and Virgil making out in a dark room.

_Of course he locked them in a closet. We're in a fanfiction._

**~Timeskip brought to you by After Ever After by Jon Cozart(as in I've had it stuck in my head for almost a week now HNGGGGG-)~**

"So, Nerdy Wolverine, what color?" Remus smirked, pulling on a pair of yellow gloves that looked suspiciously like Deceit's.

Logan sighed. "If you must. Dark blue."

Remus snapped his fingers and instantly held a box of deep navy blue hair dye. "Now, I get complete control over your hair."

"I must admit, I'm scared." Logan sighed.

Remus didn't say anything. He just took off Logan's glasses, smirking as he planted a sloppy kiss on Logan's cheek. Logan felt him running his hands through his hair. He had no idea what Remus was doing.

Logan couldn't see anything without his glasses. He was clueless as to what his hair would look like. _It won't help me look professional, that's for sure_.

Remus brushed some sort of smooth balm or cream along Logan's hairline, ears, and neck. Then, Logan felt his hair being brushed back. Gloved hands smoothed out the wayward strands and smoothed dye into his hair. Remus then wiped the bits of dye that had splattered onto Logan's face away. Logan felt his hair being soaked in running water.

"Aaaaaaaand done!" Logan heard Remus snap his fingers. Instantly Logan's hair was dry and his glasses were on his face. He looked at himself in the mirror.

He actually... _didn't look that bad_.

His bangs were brushed back over his ears. His hair was its natural color all the way to the tips. The tips looked like they had been dipped in a bucket of navy blue paint. The look was sort of... sharp, in a way. The unnatural color made him look intimidating somehow.

"Do you like it?" Remus asked, smirking as he took off Deceit's gloves, stained beyond repair.

Logan swallowed. "It's actually... not that bad."

"Holly mother of ***censored for your protection*** ," Remus breathed. "You _like it_?"

"I normally wouldn't go for colored hair. However, the way you only dyed the tips is... quite nice."

Without warning, Remus pulled the logical side into a sloppy kiss, smashing their lips together. Logan rolled his eyes but kissed back, used to his boyfriend's antics by now. Remus explored Logan's mouth. The way he kissed was so sloppy and messy and all over the place. It was very... _Remus_. His hands were all over the place, like they couldn't pick one place to settle, running from his sides to his hair to his face to his back to his torso. Logan just gripped Remus by the sash and pulled him closer, wrapping one arm around his neck. Remus's mustache brushed his face as he wrapped his arms around Logan. Logan tasted every corner of Remus's mouth, letting his boyfriend run his hands through his hair.

"I love you so much." Remus murmured, softly disconnecting the kiss and moving to press his lips against Logan's cheek and neck.

"I love you too."


	46. Alone Together(Dukeceit)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit is falling for Remus. And it scares him. So he distances himself. But Remus won't be deterred that easily.
> 
> TW: Censored cussing, Making Out, God's name used in vain, Remus being himself.

Remus and Deceit had always been close... maybe not as close as Remus would have liked, but close enough. They were the outcasts, the villains, but they were villains together. No one understood Deceit like Remus did, and no one could tolerate Remus like Deceit did. They were a pair. 

Ever since Virgil left, they had grown a lot closer. The Dark Side of the mind palace didn’t seem like a nice place when you first saw it. There was barely any light, just enough to see. At first glance it looked suspiciously like Thomas’s apartment, but there were differences. The wall was a deep grey instead of the normal pale yellow. The couch was black and the floor was an ashy grey. It looked like a black-and-white photo. But there was something charming about the simplicity of it, so they kept it that way. Remus hung up a couple of... _questionable_ photos, but he knew Deceit didn’t mind. Remus had to put his energy somewhere, and if it was in painting, well, that was better than most other ways.

They did a lot of the same things the light sides did. They watched movies, usually horror or mystery, and would sometimes wake up curled against each other on the couch. Deceit knew how to make cookies, so there was always a plate of chocolate chip cookies somewhere in the kitchen, as well as excess dough in the fridge. They would sit on the couch together, just reading and drawing. They had even teamed up to beat Roman and Virgil in a nerf war. Remus always knew how to make Deceit laugh, and Deceit didn’t mind Remus’s gory input. It was a win-win. 

Remus was very attached to the deceptive side. They were the closest you could get without being in a romantic relationship.

....not that Remus would mind that.

But lately, Deceit had been more distant. He had isolated himself in his room, only coming out to eat or drink. There hadn't been a movie night in weeks. There was almost no cookie dough left in the fridge, and Deceit's philosophy books lay untouched on his bookshelf in the corner of the living room. For days it had been just Remus sitting on the couch, drawing alone, watching horror movies alone, eating alone.

Remus sighed. He was lonely.

And he planned to change that.

He marched to Deceit's door with a purpose, rapping his knuckles on the door. "Deceit! Can I come in?"

"No." The deceptive side called through the door. Remus knew he wasn't lying. He didn't usually lie when it was just the two alone.

"I'm not leaving until you let me in." Remus called. Contrary to popular belief, he was very patient. All of the gory thoughts in his head could distract him for days.

Deceit was silent. Remus knew something was really wrong. If he was acting normally, Deceit would have shot back some snarky comment. Probably hissed.

Actually, Remus had no patience. He broke down the door with his morningstar.

Deceit was laying on his bed, staring at his blank ceiling. His snek was curled up on his stomach, the bright yellow of its scales contrasting with the heather **(heather, and heather)** shade of his shirt. "Go away." he muttered.

"No." Remus said, approaching. "I just want to know why you've been distancing yourself. Are you depressed? 'Cause I can and will get Emile-"

"It's not that." Deceit said, turning on his side and scooping his snek up in his hand, letting it slither up to curl up on his arm. "Just.... please leave me alone, OK?"

"Not right now. I refuse." Remus sat on the bed, smirking. "I'm _very_ good at refusing things."

Deceit sighed. Then Remus noticed something strange.

His face was red.

"Are you sick?" Remus asked. "Because I can and will knock Patton out and drag him down here to take care of you against his will. Maybe paralyze him-"

"Oh, yes, I'm _totally_ sick. I could _die._ I have the _black plague_ and it's highly contagious, so if you could leave, that'd be great."

"B*tch, you know I'd _love_ to get the black plague. I could infect _everyone_!" Remus smirked. A small smile curled across Deceit's face, disappearing just as quickly.

"But seriously, what's wrong? Did you kill someone? 'Cause I am _down_ to help hide the body. Or take out the witnesses." Remus said, leaning backwards and letting his head rest on Deceit's pillow. He turned to face Deceit.

Yep. The deceptive side was blushing.

"I guess I'll regret it if I don't tell you now." Deceit murmured to himself. He curled up into a little ball, pulling his knees up to his chest and letting his snek wrap around his shoulders. He took a deep breath.

"Whatever you did, remember that I've probably done worse." Remus reminded him.

"It's not what I did." Deceit met Remus's eyes for the first time in weeks, his heterochromic irisis piercing the Duke's soul. "It's what _you_ did. I-I think... I think I'm falling for you. And it scares me."

Remus stiffened. "Oh, Deceit..." he murmured. He reached out a tentative hand to stroke the snakelike side's scales. "I fell for you a long time ago."

"Really?" Deceit said, uncurling himself.

Remus pulled both of them into a sitting position, smiling at Deceit. He cupped his cheek. "Can I kiss you?" he asked, pulling their faces closer together.

Deceit leaned forward the rest of the way, effortlessly connecting their lips in a kiss. It was passionate and beautiful and so _right_. Remus couldn't believe that this was more than a dream. He had to pull Deceit closer to make sure. Yeah, he was _kissing_ Deceit, his crush of many, many years.

Remus wrapped an arm around Deceit's neck, running his tongue alone the deceptive side's upper lip. Deceit let him in, and Remus explored his mouth, pulling him closer. They were a mess of lips and tongues and teeth and limbs and hearts, beating steadily in sync. And _God, Remus loved Deceit_. He loved his lies and his truths. He loved his scales and his skin. He loved the way he smirked and the way he smiled and the way he laughed and the way he cried and the way he yelled and the way he twisted things around so you couldn't think straight. Right now, Remus wasn't thinking straight at all. He pressed himself into Deceit's torso, relishing the way his lips felt on Remus's. The way one of his hands was carding through the intrusive side's hair, another wrapped around his neck, another cupping his face, and yet another stroking his cheek. Remus kissed Deceit for all he was worth, letting this moment extend for infinity, this first kiss lasting an eternity as his fingers ran lightly along Deceit's scaled cheek.

Unfortunately, he had to breathe.

Slowly, sadly, Remus broke the kiss, instead pressing his forehead to Deceit's. "God, I love you. I've loved you since I've met you. I've been wanting to do that for so long, Dee." He breathed, his breath stirring Deceit's hair.

Deceit let a rare, genuine smile cross his face. "I love you too, 'Mussy."

He leaned in again for another kiss.

They were alone, but they were alone together.


	47. Day 5: (Platonic)Moxiety w/ background Prinxiety, Logicality, and Demus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton and Virgil team up for famILY game night!
> 
> I don't ship this romantically... sorry. There's more Prinxiety and Logicality than Moxiety. Whoops.
> 
> TW: Censored cussing, Remus being a stinky bastard man, Birds. and not that kind.

Roman kissed Virgil on the cheek, pulling him onto his lap. 

“FamILY game night!” Patton cheered, pulling Logan down the stairs. The logical side used one hand to grip his glasses and another to steady himself. “Is this really necessary, Patton?”

“Now, Logan, you know that game nights are good bonding experiences!" Patton chastised the logical side.

"Evidence suggests otherwise. Remember that Remus almost knocked Deceit out after he lost Monopoly last time?"

"This time, we'll play different games." Patton planted a small kiss on Logan's cheek, smiling. Logan receded. "And we'll have teams! So more people win."

"I'm _totally_ going to be on a team with this idiot." Deceit muttered, gesturing to Remus.

"Shut up." Remus snapped, chewing loudly on his deodorant. "You know you love me."

" _No_ , but that doesn't mean you're not an idiot." Deceit muttered.

"Oh, I know." Remus smirked.

"If you're not going to be on Remus's team, who will?" Virgil asked, shying away from Deceit.

"I volunteer Logan as tribute!" Roman called.

"Really?" Logan sighed. "Alright. I suppose I would be the wisest choice other than Deceit."

"Meaning that I _don't_ have to be on one of your teams." Deceit eyed Patton, Roman, and Virgil.

Virgil flinched away. "Nuh-uh. Nope. No way."

"I'll do it." Roman smiled at Virgil, squeezing his hand. He put on his game face and moved to sit next to Deceit. "You are going _down_."

"That means we're a team them." Virgil gestured to him and Patton.

"You got _that_ right, kiddo! Only the bestest most dynamic duoest duo on the entire _Thomasphere_!" Patton exclaimed, high-fiving the anxious side.

**~First Game: Charades~**

"Can I borrow your hat, Deceit?" Patton asked. Deceit grunted and obliged, his curly hair more noticeable then ever on his hatless head. "Thanks kiddo!" Patton smiled, waving his hand and conjuring dozens of paper slips.

Remus and Logan went first. Logan took one look at the slip in his hand and groaned. He did some weird floppy motions with his arms.

"A butthole! No? Two buttholes! Oh- um, a moose f*cking itself!" Remus guessed.

The timer went off.

"He is an idiot. Although that was not an easy one." Logan said. "It was a fish."

Roman pulled his slip and immediately smirked. He showed Deceit his middle finger.

"Bird." Deceit said immediately.

Roman whooped, fist-bumping him.

"Aw, c'mon! They got an easy one!" Remus complained.

Virgil drew a slip of paper from the hat and read it. _Tree_.

He took a deep breath awkwardly raising one foot and balancing, bringing his hands to his chest and praying that Patton knew what he was doing.

Fortunately, Patton knew yoga. "Tree pose! Tree!" He called. Virgil nodded, awkwardly catching his balance and sending the moral side a smile. Patton beamed.

**~Second Game: Uno** **~**

Remus grabbed the deck and shoved it in his mouth, chewing and swallowing.

"...Did you just eat a deck of Uno cards?" Logan asked.

Remus nodded. "I was hungry. Be grateful I didn't cut off your hands, deep-fry them, and munch on them for dessert. Bones are very very crunchy and yum when you deep-fry them, especially the tiny little hand ones."

Logan inhaled. "I'm going insane."

"Oh, I went insane a long time ago." Deceit examined his hand. "Next game?"

**~Third Game** **: Truth or Dare~**

"Remus, truth or dare?" Roman asked his brother.

"Dare!" Remus met his brother's gaze, smirking.

"I dare you to stop annoying me."

Remus paused. "Well, I guess I'm out. Deceit, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

Remus cackled, looking his boyfriend in the eye. "I dare you to f*ck me!"

"Well, I'm also out." Deceit grumbled. "Patton, truth or dare?"

"Truth!" Patton chirped.

"Do you hate me?" Deceit's voice was low and a little shaky.

Patton looked surprised. "Of course not, kiddo! Sometimes lying is good!"

Deceit looked relieved as Patton continued. "Logan, truth or dare?"

Logan sighed. "Truth."

"Do you love me?" Patton batted his eyelashes, gripping the logical side's hand.

Logan blushed. "I... yes, Patton. I do love you."

"Awww! Thank you, Logie!" Patton kissed Logan's cheek.

"Totally didn't record that all!" Roman announced, pocketing his phone. Logan rolled his eyes. "Virgil, truth or dare?"

"Dare. **(ok I know that Virgil would never say dare but it's plot convenience, ok? just go with it.)** "

"I dare you to sit on Roman's lap for the rest of the game." Logan said.

Virgil blushed a little but obliged, scooting over to sit on his significant other's lap. Roman wrapped his arms around his torso and hummed in his ear.

"Roman, truth or dare?"

"Dare!" Roman exclaimed, carding a hand through Virgil's hair.

Virgil smirked. "I dare you to sleep in either my room or Remus's for a week."

Roman blinked. "Well, obviously yours."

Remus winked. "Don't muffle the sounds, boys!"

Roman kicked him.

**~Game Four: Just Dance** **~**

I'm lazy I know. oop, there goes the fourth wall.

"What was that?" Deceit looked towards the sky.

Patton looked at him blankly. "What?"

"Weird." Deceit muttered, glancing around.

"Ok, you are all going _down._ I have the best moves." Roman exclaimed, brushing his hair back.

"You sure about that?" Remus met his brother's gaze challangingly.

The first song, Patton won. It was no surprise, since he was going up against Logan and Deceit, both of whom refused to dance. Well, Logan tried, but he had almost no sense of rhythm.

The next song was, unfortunately for everyone, a Disney song. Roman beat both Remus and Virgil with almost all "Perfects" and "yeahs". Virgil, who was also a Disney fan, somehow wasn't that far behind his boyfriend.

"ok, so who won?"

"Everybody!" Patton cheered, giving them all a cookie.

Virgil smiled, taking a bite. He loved his dad.


	48. Day 6: Roceit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit can play piano. Roman is wowed and decides to reward Deceit for his performance.
> 
> TW: Sympathetic deceit, six arms, God’s name used in vain, excessive use of musical language.

Roman was working when suddenly he became aware of something. A noise. No, not just a noise.

A melody.

Soft notes rang through the mindscape. He doubted Virgil would notice, as he probably had his headphones on. Logan had soundproofed his room to keep out any unwanted distracting noises. Patton's room was the farthest away, and Remus took no notice to music unless it was excessively annoying and/or catchy.

Roman had a hunch that he was the only one that could hear this song. Well, apart from Deceit, but why would the snakelike side care about music?

....what if Deceit _did_ care about music?

Roman had always liked Deceit. He couldn't explain why. Maybe it was his knowing smirk, his charming smile, his heterochromatic eyes. Maybe it was his attitude, how he was so mysterious and unreachable. Maybe Roman liked his scales and wondered what they'd feel like under his fingers. His lips.

He pushed away from his desk, listening more to the notes. It sounded like a piano. Roman could play piano, but nowhere near as well as this. He listened in awe to the staccato notes ringing through the air, and the sixteenth note runs whirling and sliding, notes changing as fast as the volume and tempo. It was a familiar melody, one that would have taken Roman years to learn, Lizst by La Campanella.

It was probably the hardest piece anyone could ever learn on the piano.

Fueled by his ever-growing curiosity, Roman followed the sound of the crescendoing melody, the scales in different keys that he could see in his mind's eye, sliding up the keyboard, hands moving so fast that they were a blur. Chromatic scales and diminished seventh chords playing under the unbelievable tornado of notes and rhythms in crazy keys. This was an insanely difficult piece.

Roman wondered who was playing.

He walked through the hallways, listening for the melody, waiting for it to get louder and louder. Before he knew it, the walls around him were darkening.

If he was smart, he would've turned back. Whoever was playing probably didn't want the creative side screwing them up with his unwanted input. 

Then again, Roman didn’t much care. 

He found himself walking into a room he had never seen before. It was big, maybe a thirty foot square. The ceiling arched high over Roman’s head, and a chandelier hung from the center, casting a dim light over the room. There were square pillars stretching from the wood floor to the ceiling. A plush red carpet with an intricate gold pattern adorned the center of the room. 

On top of the carpet was a huge grand piano. 

And sitting on the piano bench, facing away from Roman, was a side wearing a hat, a cape, and yellow gloves on his six hands. 

Deceit was engrossed in the music, his fingers dancing across the keys. He had three hands out, sliding across the piano, changing the key from major to minor. He trilled the high notes while his left hand made its way to the bottom to play intricate blocked chords. One of his right hands was tapping out staccato melodies like it was nothing. 

The snakelike side played the piano like he was conducting an entire orchestra. Sure, he had the advantage of having several hands, but he was also playing with his eyes closed, dancing across the keys and conjuring melodies out of thin air. With practiced movements his fingers whirled across the ivories, letting the notes ring through the air. Broken chords and slurs and stress notes, all combined in one beautiful piece. 

Deceit opened his eyes to play the final chord, the satisfying ending ringing through the air. 

And Roman clapped. 

Deceit turned around, looking Roman straight **(ha)** in the eye. “Oh. Um, hi?” He said uncomfortably. “I’m totally not doing something. There’s absolutely no need for you to leave. At all.” His eyes, one a deep brown and the other a gleaming gold, pierced Roman’s gaze. 

The creative side knew that he was lying. But at the moment, he didn’t really feel like cooperating. 

“Good!” Roman sidled over to the piano, sitting beside Deceit.

“And I totally wasn’t lying.”

Roman smirked. “I know. What I didn’t know was that you could play piano?”

“I have six hands. I don’t bother putting them to use.” Deceit said simply. Roman noticed the uncomfortable way he fiddled with the buttons on his shirt. 

“What other songs can you play?” Roman asked, subtly scooting closer. 

“You really don’t want to hear them?” Deceit sounded surprised, in a way. Roman nodded, smiling. 

Deceit sighed, placing his hands on the piano and playing the first notes of Für Elise. 

Roman hummed along with the melody. Three of Deceit’s hands were actively dancing across the piano. Roman gripped a fourth in his own. 

Deceit pretended not to notice, but Roman could see the blush on his cheeks. God, what Roman would give to kiss him right now.

He gave in to his desires. 

Roman brought Deceit’s fingers to his face, pressing his lips against the gloves hand and smirking as Deceit’s blush deepened. 

Deceit had stopped playing the piano, his hands drifting aimlessly over the keys. Roman wrapped an arm around his shoulders and brought his hand to the snakelike side’s scaled cheek, tracing the scales. Deceit shivered as Roman’s hand traveled from his cheekbone to his ear to his cheek to the bridge of his nose, ghosting his lips. 

Without a word, Roman turned Deceit’s head to face him. He stared unblinkingly into his heterochromatic orbs, bringing their faces closer together. 

Deceit’s eyes asked a silent question. Roman gave a slight nod, almost imperceptible. 

And then the snakelike side surged forward and Roman met him halfway, smashing their lips together in an unforgettable first kiss. Deceit raised a gloved hand to the creative side’s cheek, stroking the skin gently. Two more arms wrapped around Roman’s torso, and yet another cradled his neck. Deceit was nowhere and everywhere at once, his lips barely brushing Roman’s one second and his forked tongue gliding across Roman’s upper lip the next. His hands were something else, carding through Roman’s hair and gripping his shirt and cupping his cheek and gliding down his chest and back and wrapping around his neck all at the same time. Roman tried to keep up, pressing himself passionately into the deceptive side and pulling him closer, cupping his cheek. His arm slid under Deceit’s and wrapped around his shoulders, bringing him closer still. Roman saw stars and in that moment he knew what he had been suspecting was the truth. 

He loved Deceit. 

Slowly his lips left Deceit’s. Both sides were blushing messes at this point. Roman gripped Deceit’s hand and slowly pulled his glove off, admiring the shiny scales speckling the skin **(oooh look at that damn good alliteration)**. Deceit let him stroke his scales. Two of his arms were still wrapped around Roman’s torso. Roman lifted Deceit’s hand to his cheek, letting their fingers intertwine. Deceit sunk into Roman’s embrace. 

And then the snakelike side let out a small sigh and said something soft and truthful: “I love you.”

Roman let Deceit cuddle into his chest, smiling as he let out what sounded like a small purr. “I love you too.” He murmured, taking off his hat and pressing a kiss to Deceit’s curls.


	49. Laser Tag(Roceit)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know the one. Corner them in Laser Tag, kiss them, shoot them?
> 
> Requested by Ray Imagination Sanders on Quotev
> 
> TW: betrayal, mention of sympathetic Deceit, mention of six arms

Roman, Virgil, and Patton were up against Logan, Remus, and Deceit in laser tag. At this point, it was full-on war. Roman was the only one left on his team. It was him against Logan and Deceit. 

Just his luck that his boyfriend was on the other team.

He ducked into a dark corner, reloading. He had a plan. He was gonna get Deceit out, and do it in his own way. 

A flash of blue caught his eye. The other team’s color. Roman caught a glimpse of shiny scales. Perfect. 

Roman sidled our of his hiding spot, smirking at Deceit. Before the snakelike side could raise his gun, he had him pressed against the wall. Deceit gave him a knowing look. “Really?” 

“You know it.” Roman purred, pressing closer. He pressed a kiss to Deceit’s ear. Deceit rolled his eyes, but didn’t push Roman away. Roman turned his head and started attacking Deceit’s neck with sloppy, open-mouthed kisses. He felt Deceit shiver and grazed his lips on that spot once again, smiling against his skin. 

Roman knew Deceit’s scales were sensitive from experience. He pressed closer, raising a hand to glide smoothly along his scales. Deceit responded to the touch by pressing into the touch, nuzzling slightly into Roman’s hand. Roman traced the lines of his boyfriend’s face, pressing a few kisses to the scales. 

Then he turned his head and pressed his lips to Deceit’s. 

Within seconds Deceit granted Roman passage and they were exploring each other’s mouths. Deceit tasted the same he always did- minty with a hint of citrusy lemon. Roman cupped the deceptive side’s scaled cheek. Deceit ran his hand through Roman’s hair. 

He had yet to notice that Roman’s hand was on his gun. 

In one swift movement, Roman pushed away from Deceit, cocking his gun. He pulled the trigger and shot him in the chest. 

Deceit looked at him, the blue light emitting from the sensor strapped to his chest fading. Instead of betrayal, he wore a mask of amusement. “I knew you were going to do that.”

“Then why didn’t you...” Roman realized too late that Deceit wasn’t looking at him. He was looking behind him. 

Roman whirled around just as he was shot in the back. The red light on his chest dimmed and his gun made a robotic noise.

“Game over.” The logical side smirked, lowering his gun. 

Roman groaned. “No fair.” 

“Oh, it’s very fair.” Deceit countered. “We just used your own strategy against you.” The deceitful side smirked, cupping Roman’s cheek. “You really are that predictable.” He murmured. 

Roman started to protest but Deceit cut him off by kissing him. “And that’s why I love you.” 

“Get a room, you two!” Remy snapped, walking in and sipping his iced coffee. 

“Wait, where did you come from? Weren’t you at a party?” Roman asked, confused. Deceit wrapped his arms around the creative side. All six of them. 

“Shut up. Plot convenience. It’s funny.” Remy downed half of his iced coffee.


	50. Day 7: Logicality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton takes Logan to a drive-in movie theater with a ring in his pocket...
> 
> TW: Tooth-rotting fluff

Patton dragged Logan to the car. Logan smiled, stumbling behind his boyfriend. “Patton- where-“

“Shhh!” Patton giggled, putting a finger over his loved one’s lips. “It’s a surprise.”

“Alright then.” Logan got into the passenger seat, his mouth curling into a small grin as Patton pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. 

The stray rocks on their driveway crunched under the tires of their car as Patton drove them down the street. One hand on the steering wheel, the other intertwined with Logan's. Instead of looking where they were going, Logan watched Patton. They had been dating for four years, and yet every kiss or show of affection seemed like their first. Patton had shown Logan that it was ok to have feelings, and Logan kept Patton grounded. They loved each other more than anything.

Patton pulled them into a dirt parking lot. Logan looked up to see a giant white screen and a projector set up in front of them. "Drive-in movies?"

"Yep!" Patton chirped. He leaned his head against Logan's. Logan blushed softly and pulled him closer.

They waited for five minutes, the sun nearing the horizon. Only three other cars pulled into the parking lot.

The movie started. It was Frozen. While Logan didn't like most children's pictures, he knew this one was Patton's favorite. They had watched it many times together before. Logan had grown to like it. He smiled, playing with Patton's soft curls.

About five minutes into the movie, just as Anna and Elsa's parents had died, Patton shifted. "Logie?"

"Yes, my star?" Logan asked, looking at his lover.

"Can I sit on your lap?" Patton asked softly.

Logan smiled. "Of course."

Patton smiled. "Thanks, Logie." He shifted and Logan pulled him onto his lap. Logan was a tall boi, at six foot three. Patton was almost a foot shorter than him. That was one of the things Logan loved about his boyfriend.

Logan was barely focused in the movie. Instead, he pressed soft kisses to Patton's locks, wrapping his arms around his torso. He could hear Patton breathing. Gosh, he loved his boyfriend.

He listened to Patton's soft voice singing along to, 'Let it Go'. Logan wondered what he had done in his past lives to be blessed with such a wonderful, _wonderful_ man by his side. Actually, Patton barely qualified as a man. He was more of an angel, pure and sweet and innocent and moral.

Patton twisted around to press a soft kiss to Logan's lips. Neither was focused on the movie, they had seen it many times before. Logan wrapped both of his arms around his boyfriend and pulled him closer. Patton's breath stirred Logan's hair. They stayed there, by each other's sides. Neither was _complete_ without the other.

Patton smiled and snuggled closer, murmuring the words to the song playing in the background. "People make bad choices when they're mad or scared or stressed. But throw a little love their way, and you'll bring out their best!"

Logan cupped Patton's cheek, a genuine smile evident on his face. Patton grinned and kissed him softly, pressing their lips together.

When there was only five minutes left in the movie, Patton pulled Logan out of the car. "What are we doing now?"

"It's a surprise!" Patton smiled. Suddenly Logan noticed the nervousness etched into his features. "Whatever it is, I trust you, Patton. Forever and always."

Patton took a deep breath and dropped to one knee. Logan's eyes widened.

"Logan, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. Your smile makes my day, every day. I want to be with you for the rest of my life, however long it may be. I love you for your smile and your laughter and your personality. So, right now, I'm saying this. Logan Sanders, will you marry me?"

And suddenly tears were flowing out of Logan's eyes as he pulled Patton into his embrace. "Yes!" He croaked. "A thousand times yes!"

They were both crying then, and Patton's lips met Logan's. Unlike the others, this kiss was full of passion and love and everything in between.

Gosh, Logan loved his fiancé.


	51. Day 8: Anxceit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A hurt/comfort drabble. Ethan had a bad day at work, and Virgil decides to comfort him.
> 
> TW: censored cussing, sympathetic Virgil and Deceit, bad writing.

Virgil’s boyfriend Ethan opened the door. Virgil looked up. “How was work?”

Ethan hesitated before sitting on the couch and closing his eyes. “...I had.... a really rough day, to say the least.”

Virgil was immediately worried, moving to his boyfriend. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not yet. Honestly, all I want right now is a cup of hot tea and cuddles.”

Virgil smiled. “Then that’s what you’ll get.”

He got up for a second, putting a kettle of water on the stove and grabbing a soft blanket before heading back over to Ethan. Virgil sat almost on top of him, pressing a kiss to his forehead and wrapping his arms around his torso.“Thanks, love.” Ethan murmured, burying his head in the crook of Virgil’s neck. 

Virgil pressed a kiss to his hair. Sure, the world was a sh*tty place sometimes. But they had each other.


	52. Are you BLUSHING?(Dukeceit)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus makes Deceit flustered. It's hilarious.
> 
> TW: again, pretty smutty. Censored cussing, making out

  
Remus smirked, winking at Deceit. The snakelike side had turned away from Remus, subtly shifting to hide his face under his hat. “W-what did you just say, Remus?” 

“Your face is f*cking beautiful, and I bet the rest of you is too.” Remus practically purred, approaching Deceit seductively. To him, his intentions were clear, and he was sure they were to Deceit as well.

Remus grabbed Deceit’s chin, raising it to his level. Then he noticed something. 

“Oh my god. Are you blushing?”

Deceit’s face flushed deeper, his cheeks a shade of deep red. “What? No!”

Having lived with Deceit practically his whole life, Remus could tell he was lying. “Did I get the ever-stoic, hardcore, total badass _Deceit Sanders_ to blush?”

“No...” Deceit protested. “It-it’s the cold!” 

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Right. The cold. And not because I told you that your face is the most f*cking beautiful thing I’ve ever seen and I bet the rest of your body is too.” 

“N-no.” Deceit was basically a walking tomato at this point. His voice cracked. 

“Deceit.” Remus pressed closer. Their faces were mere inches apart. “Can I... kiss you?”

Deceit flushed. Remus waited. 

And then the deceptive side’s head bobbed in an infinitesimal nod. 

Without hesitation, Remus cupped Deceit’s face and smashed their lips together in a passionate, sloppy, perfect kiss. Deceit reciprocated instantly, gripping Remus by the sash and pulling him closer. Remus carded one of his hands through Deceit’s hair, causing his hat to fall off. With his other hand, he stroked Deceit’s scales, causing the deceptive side to gasp and let Remus slip his tongue in. Then they were engaged in a contest for dominance, each pressing into the other. Deceit was somehow winning, wrapping his arms around Remus’s torso and kissing him for all he was worth. Remus felt Deceit explore his body, his hands running from the dark creative’s chest to his arms to his hair to his cheek while two remained in their place on Remus’s hips, as if they belonged there. Somehow there was a wall behind Remus, and Deceit pushed him into it, smirking to see Remus so submissive. They were a mess of limbs and lips and teeth and tongues and hands. 

Slowly Deceit disconnected their lips, only to press soft kisses to Remus’s neck and smirk as Remus let out a small whine. “I love you, DeeDee.” He whimpered, wrapping his arms around the snakelike side. 

Deceit raised his head and pressed his lips to Remus’s cheekbone, right beside his ear. “I love you too.”


	53. Day 9: Intruality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you got two sentences because I don't ship this and have no idea how to write it...

**Hdjsjwjwbe**

**no idea how to write this ship**

**so take this**

Remus melted into Patton’s embrace, his arms wrapping around the Moral side’s torso. Patton smiled down at him and brushed a tear off of his cheek.


	54. Day 10: Intrulogince(alternative ending)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just an alternative ending to the Intrulogince one shot that I wrote a while back,
> 
> TW: censored swearing, King Romulus, God’s name used in vain, confusion, angst, flashbacks

Logic was not structurally sound. 

He was sitting in his desk chair, looking at the mess of papers and Manila folders and journals and books and who knows what else in front of him. His hair was a mess. His glasses were crooked. His tie was lying limply on his chest. His lips were chapped. He was thirsty but he couldn’t bring himself to stand up and get a glass of water. His thoughts were figuratively spinning, flying through his head so fast that he barely had time to consider one before his brain moved onto another and what exactly was at the bottom of the ocean and why were feelings so hard to understand and how did Thomas get a freckle behind his ear and what did the big picture in the living room mean and are cube roots better than square roots and how was Deceit so good at impersonating Patton and _why wasn’t anything making sense?_

Logan could not commit a falsehood. He was a figurative mess. 

What had led up to this madness? 

Thomas had just gotten over a breakup with his boyfriend of several months. Logan, being logic, had ~~a lot~~ _absolutely nothing_ to do with feelings. Somehow, he was ~~still hurt~~ completely fine and unaffected.

Deceit would be proud if he knew how much Logan lied to himself and the other sides. 

_”I’ve never felt anything in my life.”_

_”Uh oh-feelings.”_

_”I’m always serious. Clearly, I wear a necktie.”_

_”Feelings. The bane of my existence.”_

_”I don’t feel anything.”_

Thomas happened to see his former boyfriend one day at Walmart. They conversed socially, as they were still close friends. 

And then Thomas’s former boyfriend asked him if he had wanted to go on a date with him again. That he had missed him. That he promises that this time it’ll be different. That he’s changed. 

And Thomas turned him down. ~~Why~~?

Immediately after Thomas had rejected him, he had wondered why. He still loved his former boyfriend. So why did he refuse his offer to date him? Roman was all for dating him again. Virgil, being Virgil, was just anxious about the whole thing. And Logan? 

For once, Logan didn’t know where he stood.

Logically, if you broke up with someone when you were in a toxic relationship, you shouldn’t go back to them. That would only lead to more pain. 

But what if Thomas was the one at fault? What if the reason their relationship had never worked... was _him_? 

More specifically, was _Logan_? 

Logan has never been good at handling feelings. ~~He didn’t have them, after all~~. 

He felt himself arguing with... _himself_ , somehow. _Why did I turn him down? Because the relationship was toxic. And I don’t have feelings_. But Logan knew that wasn’t true. _I turned him down because I.... was confused. Confused about my own feelings, confused about Thomas’s feelings, confused about the other sides’ feelings. And I still am._

The realization figuratively hit Logan like a boulder. _I’m repressing. I’m repressing my own thoughts and feelings. I, Thomas’s Logic, am doing the very thing that_ I told _him not to do. I_ failed _. I failed everyone_. 

As hard as it was, Logan knew how to make things right. He clenched his fist, feeling his fingernails dig into his palm. He squeezed his eyes shut. Opened his mouth.

“I...” he trailed off. He didn’t want to say it. Admit that he had failed. Admit that he had been lying to everyone. 

This was his own figurative mess. He had to clean it up. 

Opening his mouth again, he considered the words. There were only three of them, and it shouldn’t have been as laborious as it was to say them, whisper them even. 

So why was it?

No matter. At this moment Logan had to set things right. 

Even if it meant admitting to lies. 

“I... I...,” Logan fought not to let his words escape him again.

“I have... I have feelings.” He choked out. And once he started, it was nearly impossible to stop. “Emotions. Chemical reactions in my brain that I know mean nothing but somehow they mean _something_ , I’m just not sure what and I’m confused and a figurative mess and a mistake and errors are happening in my brain because I’m _logic_ and I’m not supposed to have feelings but I do and I don’t know if it’s ok I just know that Thomas and the others can never find out because if they do _what will they think of me_?” 

All of Logan’s doubts spilled out of his mouth in one frantic run-on sentence. And suddenly there was pain. 

In his forehead, Logan felt a jolt of pain, white-hot and burning. It was as if someone had taken a blaster from Star Wars and shot him in the head, although Logan knew that that was fictional and highly improbable. Still, it was the best way to describe the sit-

All of Logan’s streams of thought and Logic and common sense and knowledge were partially cut off. His brain wasn’t working. His head hurt so, so much. His hands went up to press against his temples in an effort to keep his brain from exploding, although it felt more like it was going to implode, collapse in on itself, killing Logan in the process. But he wasn’t Logan anymore, was he? Logan didn’t exactly know, all that he knew was that everything hurts and that it wasn’t stopping and that it felt like white hot flames were running through his veins and he let out a scream of pain and agony and EVERYTHING HURTS and-

And suddenly he was presented by an idea. An opportunity. 

And he took it. 

He gasped for breath as he somehow _pushed away_. It was impossible to describe it except for that he _wasn’t whole_ anymore. But why would he feel that way? He opened his eyes as he knelt on the ground. _Oh_. 

He was no longer wearing his normal attire. He was wearing a crisp white polo shirt and his normal tie, and his glasses. But why did he have a white shirt? And why did he feel so... _incomplete_? 

Raising his eyes, he found out why. And caught his breath, gasping again and again, doing what could only be described as hyperventilating. Because across from him was a man in a long sleeved black shirt, the same glasses as Logan, and a grey tie. He was looking at his hands, his expression neutral. 

“Who-who are you?” Logan breathed. 

He looked up. “I am logic.”

“But _I’m_ logic!” 

“I do not know where all of my knowledge has gone. It must have figuratively flown out of my brain.” He said, then looked at Logan for real for the first time. And stared for a bit, his eyes showing the slightest hint of emotion for the first time since Logan had met him. “Oh sh*t.” The two said at the same time.

“We... split, didn’t we?” They whispered. Logan reaches out a tentative hand to touch his counterpart’s, but he refused. “Who are you?” The other one asked again. 

And Logan didn’t know. He was a part of Logic, that was for sure. He searched his feelings for any hint of knowledge. And he found more than a hint. 

He felt smart and sturdy but also small and fragile because he could be killed at any time. He knew so, so many things, like how the elections in an atom moved and the cube root of 356,400,829 and how many miles away was the nearest star and all given elements in the periodic table and (when had he memorized the script to Doctor Who?) and the exact position of the stars in the sky. But he wanted to know more. He wanted to figuratively stuff his brain with knowledge.

“Intelligence.” He breathed, knowing he was no longer Logan. No longer _complete_. “I’m Intelligence.”

The side across from him looked at him with no expression. “And I’m apathy.” 

Apathy was defined as the suppression of emotions such as concern, excitement, motivation, or passion. Apathy was the reason Logan had appeared indifferent.

Because he was repressing his emotions.

“Oh sh*t.” A voice sounded from behind them. Intelligence whipped his head around to see Roman, looking at them with his hand over his mouth in shock. 

“Roman?” Intelligence whispered shakily. 

And then Roman was running up to him and wrapping one arm around Intelligence and one around Apathy. “Shh. Shh. It’s alright. I know how confusing it is.” 

Intelligence felt a tear come to his eye, and, surprisingly, he didn’t fight it. “I feel empty.” He whispered. “I just want to feel whole again.”

“I agree.” Apathy said. His voice still showed no hint of emotion. 

Intelligence scooted closer into Roman’s embrace as Roman smiled. “That can be arranged.”

Roman snapped his fingers and Remus appeared behind him. “Oooh, brother dearest summoned _me_? Why- oh sh*t.” He noticed the two Logics. 

“They want to fuse back together again. Will you help me help them? Keep in mind this is the only scenario in I will _ever_ ask for your help.” Roman said, extending an arm out to Remus. 

The dark creative side huffed. “I guess.” He didn’t say one inappropriate thing, which surprised Intelligence. 

Roman stood up and looked Remus in the eye. And then Intelligence realized. _They_ were going to fuse. Back into King Romulus. 

When was the last time he had seen Romulus? 

And without warning Intelligence saw a flashback. He was in the mind palace, back when he was still Logan, _logic_ , whole. He had gripped Romulus’s hand as he had dragged him into the imagination, a smile on his face. And Logan had followed.

There was no logical reason to. And yet there was no logical reason _not_ to. And so Logan had gone. Romulus has shown him his kingdom, full of magic and fairies and princes and princesses and royalty and darkness and odd things and things that normally you would be repulsed by but Logan somehow _wasn’t_. It was full of creativity and love and feeling and _passion_. Full of things that didn’t exist in the real world. 

And yet Logan had enjoyed it. So he went again. And again. And again. 

He tore himself away from the past and watched as Remus took Roman’s hand. A glow emitted from their connected skin. Without warning Roman spun Remus closer to him and took his other hand. 

There was a blinding light. 

And creativity was no longer two, but one. 

Before Intelligence stood a man in a black shirt, a red sash, and a crown. He looked at his hands in wonder. “Always feels so weird.” He muttered. 

“Romulus.” Intelligence breathed. 

Romulus cracked a smile. “Hello, old friend.”

And then he saw it all again. 

He saw the imagination before it split in two, a beautiful medieval town crowned by a shining castle, framed by a beautiful forest where dangerous monsters roamed. He saw a bustling town filled with wonders. He saw a beautiful sunset reflected by a glimmering ocean. He saw a mountain waiting to be climbed and conquered. He saw a hellish place, a rocky island surrounded by an ocean of lava. He saw the creatures that Romulus created, Roman making the base and Remus putting his own spin on it. And most of all, he saw Romulus. Romulus, Romulus, Romulus. He remembered his embrace, his need for adventure. He remembered his smile, charming and arrogant. He remembered the way he laughed, the way he sung, and the way he talked. His calming voice. His soothing touch. The way his ideas had settled Logan’s curiosity. The way he had showed him it was ok to feel things and the way he showed him to express his feelings. And the way his lips had felt on Logan’s. 

Yes. For a brief time, Logan has been Romulus’s. He had been caring, kind, beautiful, and wild. It was a rough ride, dating the king of creativity itself, when your entire purpose was to sort realistic things from unrealistic things, but it had worked. For a year, at least. 

And then the split happened. 

One day Logan has walked into the imagination to find it split in half. One side was dark and looked foreboding, but was somehow enticing at the same time. And the other was bright and welcoming. And then Logan has seen the twins. Roman and Remus. Not Romulus. No longer one, but two. 

And Logan had left. 

And the world went on. He had ~~still~~ never missed Romulus. Not at all. And both Roman and Remus has never brought him up again. 

But now Logan had split, too. And now Romulus is standing in front of him, cracking a smile. 

And Intelligence didn’t hesitate to throw himself into the King’s arms. Romulus wrapped one of his arms around Intelligence and one around Apathy, bringing them close. And there was ugly tears running down Intelligence’s face and a smile on Romulus’s face and he was so close to the side he had ~~never missed, not at all~~ missed so, so, much. And it was almost perfect. 

But he was still Intelligence. And Apathy was still Apathy. 

Apathy met his gaze and nodded at him slightly. He reached out. And Intelligence brushed their hands together. 

And there was a glow where their skin had come in contact, spreading throughout both of their bodies. Intelligence became aware of the need for more contact, more touch. And that was what he did, twisting Apathy around and wrapping his arms around him, interlocking their hands. 

And then there was light. 

And light, and light, and light. 

And Intelligence could feel himself getting closer and closer to Apathy, his other half, his counterpart, his _brother_.

And then. And then. 

And then he was no longer incomplete. And then Logic was no longer two, but one being, standing tall. Facing Romulus. 

Logan looked down at his hands in wonder. Then he realized what he wanted. And he knew Apathy wanted it too. Just because Apathy suppressed all emotions didn’t mean that he didn’t have them. And right now he knew Apathy’s desires. Because they were his own as well. 

And Logan folded himself into Romulus’s waiting embrace, tears streaming down his face. Romulus smiled down at him and brought him closer, wrapping one arm around his torso and the other reaching up to cup Logan’s cheek. “I missed you.” Logan whispered.

Romulus’s breath stirred Logan’s hair. “I missed you too.” 

And then he pinched Logan’s chin and brought his lips level to his and then they were kissing, like Logan had dreamed of for so long. Their lips moved in sync and Logan pressed himself into Romulus’s chest, running his hands through the King’s hair and all he could think was _finally, finally, finally_. He felt Romulus hug him tight as if he would let go at any second, as if he was afraid Logan was going to split again and that he couldn’t kiss him anymore and _oh god Logan loved Romulus_. He loved the way he smiled and the way he laughed and the way he talked and the way he comforted people and the way he smirked and the way he sung and the way he kissed. He loved every single one of Romulus’s creations. He loved the way he tasted and the way he felt when Logan stroked his cheek and the way he ran his hands through Logan’s hair and the way he embraced Logan like he never wanted to let go. 

But Logan knew he had to. Because he felt a splitting pain in his head once again. 

...why was staying together so _hard_ all of a sudden?

Once again, he was not whole. He was two, Intelligence and Apathy, and he would never be the same again. And Romulus looked at him, a worried look on his face. “I’m sorry.” He whispered. 

And then it was Apathy, surprisingly, who reached out and cupped his cheek. “Don’t be.” He whispered. “It wasn’t your fault.”

But Romulus shook his head and that was when Intelligence noticed that he was beginning to glow. He squeezed his eyes shut, reaching out for Romulus, who he had missed so much and the pain wouldn’t go away...

And then it was Roman and Remus that stood in front of him. Remus looked down at his hands and Roman was touching his lips. 

Intelligence blinked open his eyes and wrapped his arms around himself, trying to savor the warmth left from Romulus’s embrace. 

It didn’t work. 

And once again, he was alone. 

......or so he thought. 

But on impulse, Intelligence reached for the closest brother. Remus. He grabbed him and pulled him into another hug. The intrusive side was shocked, but slowly wrapped his arms around intelligence, returning the hug. Intelligence buried his head into Remus’s shoulder. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Roman take Apathy’s hand and pull him into his soft embrace. 

And intelligence realized what he should have known all along: he wasn’t alone. He never would be. Because even though he was only one piece of the figurative puzzle, he knew that he would always be near the other piece that made him complete. Apathy. And he was fine with being split. 

Plus, if your significant other was also split in two, that definitely had its benefits. 

Without hesitation, Intelligence brought Remus’s lips to his. 

**(I’m gonna end it there because now I have exactly 3000 words ha)**


	55. Day 11: Analogical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan and Virgil decide to spend their day off watching movies... and cuddling.

“Day off?” Virgil asked his boyfriend, Logan. At the moment they were laying in their shared bed, arms wrapped around each other, foreheads touching. 

“Yep.” Logan confirmed, smiling at Virgil. 

“Nice. Do you have anything planned?” 

“No. Honestly, I was just hoping to sit on the couch and watch movies.”

“And cuddle?” 

“And cuddle.” Logan confirmed, pressing a small kiss to Virgil’s cheek. 

“Sweet.” Virgil murmured, pressing closer to Logan. His breath stirred his boyfriend’s hair. Logan held him close to his chest protectively. 

A few minutes later, Logan stirred. “Honey. We have to get up. It’s eight-thirty.”

“I’m not moving. You’re so comfortable.” Virgil muttered, snuggling closer. Logan smiled. “Maybe a couple more minutes.”

They didn’t end up getting up until nine forty-five. After a quick breakfast of toast and organic jam, the pair set up the couch with a bowl of popcorn and piles of blankets. Virgil slid The Nightmare Before Christmas into the DVD player. 

They curled up on the couch together, arms wrapped around each other. Mostly it was silent as they watched. Occasionally Virgil would hum along with the music. Logan smiled, carding his hand through Virgil's hair as he pulled his boyfriend onto his lap. Then he noticed something.

"Hey! Are you wearing my shirt?" He asked Virgil, looking pointedly at the sweater his boyfriend was adorning. Virgil looked at him, blushing. "Sorry."

Logan smiled. "You look good in it."

"Really? You don't mind?"

"Not at all." Logan murmured in Virgil's ear.

They finished the first movie and Virgil changed it to Avengers: Endgame. On their movie marathons, they always watched that movie. Why? Because it was the only movie that had ever made Logan cry, although he was tearing up during the first ten minutes of Up.

(Frick I'm listening to music and It's Quiet Uptown came on and I'm sobbing wHYYY-)

"Hey." Virgil turned to Logan.

"What is it, honey?" Logan hummed, looking at his boyfriend with love in his gaze.

Virgil smiled and cuddled into Logan's chest and whispered, "I love you 3000."

Logan grinned, pressing a kiss to Virgil's locks. "I love you 3001."

Thirty minutes later, Steve Rogers looked down and grumbled. "That is America's ass." Logan snorted.

Virgil looked at him with a wide grin on his face. "I love it when you laugh."

"I love it when you smile." Logan retorted.

-Timeskip to end of movie-

Tears rolled down Logan's face. No matter how many times he watched that movie, he always cried.

Virgil hugged him and kissed a tear off his cheek. "I love you." He murmured.

"Y'know, I fall more in love with you each day." Logan pulled his boyfriend closer.


	56. Day 12: Royality A/N

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i dont ship it or write it... sorry

Ok sooooo 

I do not ship this 

and I’m not comfortable writing it

because that’s just me

so I’m just gonna chuck some crappy prinxiety at you instead.

if you came here looking for royality... yeah sorry. I don’t ship it and don’t write it.   
:(


	57. Day 13: Demus(with a little background Prinxiety)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus is sick, and Deceit takes care of him.... they inevitably become more intimate and now Deceit is sick too.
> 
> TW: heated kissing(it’s Demus... how could I NOT?), implied smut

Remus was in his bed, still sleeping. It was eleven AM, yet he was drowsy and sniffly. He couldn’t see himself, but he imagined his eyes were red and puffy, and his face was flushed. His forehead was unusually warm. 

Yes, he was undeniably sick. 

He would have gotten up anyway, just to infect people, but his boyfriend Deceit wouldn’t let him. At the moment, he was standing beside him, smirking. 

“Deeeeeeeeeeee.” Remus groaned, looking up at his boyfriend with pleading eyes. “Can I pleaseeeeeeeeeee get up? I wanna infect my brotherrrrrrrrr.”

“Under normal circumstances, I would, but if you got up, you would get sicker. And I don’t want that. Plus Virgil would probably kill you if you got his boyfriend sick. However, if you want company, I’m here.” Deceit cupped his boyfriend’s cheek. Remus whined and Deceit tutted. “None of that. Just cuddles.” 

“But you’ll get sick tooooooooooo.” 

“I won’t. It’s not like we’re making out or anything.” Deceit rolled his eyes and got into bed with his boyfriend, wrapping his arms securely around him. Remus gave in and nuzzled into his chest, wrapping his arms around him. Deceit pressed a small kiss to his curls. 

They were never people to make commitments. 

About five minutes later, they ended up fully making out, exploring each other’s mouths and bodies. Remus was stroking Deceit’s sensitive scales, and Deceit was practically purring at the blissful feeling. Remus felt Deceit card a hand through his hair and pull him closer. Deceit disconnected the kiss only to press soft kisses trailing from Remus’s cheek to his neck. His teeth subtly grazed the intrusive side’s skin. Remus let out a soft whine and Deceit smirked, slipping a hand under Remus’s shirt. 

**-Timeskip because I can’t write smut-**

Two days later, the pair was lying in the same bed. Both were woozy and stuffy. “Told you I would get you sick.” Remus grinned.

“Sssssssssshut it.” Deceit hissed as Patton came into the room to give them some more chicken noodle soup.


	58. Day 14: Prinxiety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman is an extroverted drama teacher.   
> At least... on the outside.  
> In truth, Roman suffers from extreme depression and anorexia. He just wants it all to end. So, he tries to drown himself. But a particularly hot merman named Virgil has other plans...
> 
> TW: Angst, depression, self-harm mentions, anorexia, attempted suicide

Roman Prince was a man. 

That seemed pretty normal. Ordinary. Not worth writing about. 

But he was no ordinary man. 

He liked his hair long, so he let it rest in unruly curls just by his earlobes. His skin was tan and his face was sculpted. Numerous freckles sprayed across his cheeks, not unlike a burst of water. His amber eyes were bright and welcoming. He was short, only five foot five, but fast enough to outrun almost anybody. He was gay and prideful. His closet contained several dresses, loose shirts, and fancy, elaborate suits that looked fit for a prince, hence his last name. He was an actor and a high school drama teacher. On the outside, he was the most extroverted person you could ever meet. 

But that wasn’t the real him. 

If you stripped away Roman’s outer shell, you would find immense insecurities. Extreme anxiety. Fear of never being accepted. Fear of never being good enough, handsome enough, pretty enough to be loved. The truth was, Roman suffered from anorexia and severe depression. His body image and self-esteem were at rock-bottom. He cut and scarred his wrists because he thought that he would never be worthy of love. 

One day in the heat of summer, a small, unsuspicious silver Acura vehicle made its way to the coastline, winding through the rocky hills. It pulled to the side of the road, miles away from any town or house or civilization, really. The single occupant in the car opened the door, being careful to leave a slip of paper on the dashboard. They wore a loose long-sleeved shirt and khakis, even though it was almost a hundred degrees. 

They walked out onto the beach. They reached down and pulled off their sandals. Then they started into the water, with no regards to their clothing. Deeper and deeper they went. 

The coastline at this point was not shallow. In fact, it was a steep incline. The water was twenty feet deep twenty feet out. Soon the occupant was treading water. They kicked off their shoes. 

As if they had prepared for that moment, they let themselves sink below the water. Deeper and deeper they drifted, their amber eyes squinting towards the surface. However, they made no attempt to swim. Their short, curly hair floated aimlessly in the water, as if it was reaching towards the light in one last desperate attempt. They opened their mouth. 

Roman Prince felt his lungs fill with seawater and let go, sinking into the black depths of the sea. 

  
  


...

  
  


. . .

  
  


  
  


Enter Virgil. 

He had no last name. Mermen had no need for second names unless they were royalty. Virgil was far from royal. In fact, he was the poorest of them all. He owned nothing except maybe the slimiest scum scraped off of the bottom of a flat rock and a thin grimy chain loosely hanging around his neck that used to be shiny metal, but was so rusty you could mistake it for seaweed. He was pale-skinned and thin, so thin you could almost see his ribs and could most certainly feel them. His short purple hair was messily cut. It looked black in dim light, but if you studied it carefully in direct light you would see that it was actually a deep purple. His boring brown eyes and boring face was all he had ever had. The dark smudges under his eyes were a reminder of who he was.... poor, sleep-deprived, and alone. Even his tail was nothing special, a normal mermaid tail with boring purple scales.

The only thing remotely interesting about him was his sexuality. 

While most mermen were straight as the handles of their tridents, Virgil was as straight as a circle. 

That is to say, not straight at all. 

He was one of only three gay mermen he knew, the other two being Ethan and Remus, his only friends, if you could call them that. They were more like acquaintances. They had agreed to not kill each other, and to maybe help one another out in a pinch. But they were all outcasts. They lived far away from each other, near the coastline instead of in the middle of the ocean. Sure it was more dangerous, but it was far away from all the homophobes. And Virgil wasn’t going to lie. Human men were actually kind of hot. 

Virgil has always been sort of fascinated with humans. The way they lived. They didn’t have kings, which was odd. They breathed air. They traveled in sort of.... chunks of metal. They knew how to fly. They walked. They swam. They polluted. There were _so many_ of them, walking and talking and living their lives without the bounty of the ocean. Well... mostly. 

Virgil was jolted out of his thoughts by the faint rumble of a car engine, followed by the release of carbon dioxide as the car stopped. He peeked out of the water to see just how close he had swam to the coastline, only fifty feet out. 

...was that a human male?

It was. He got out of the car. Virgil studied his curly hair and his tanned, sculpted face. He watched as he took off his sandals and walked towards the water, still clothed in khakis and a loose white shirt that was unbuttoned just enough. 

Yeah. He was hot. 

With no regards to his clothing, he waded into the water until he was twenty feet out. Virgil knew for a fact that it was almost twenty-five feet deep there. What was this guy doing? 

He sunk beneath the water. Virgil’s curiosity got the better of him. He followed, swimming closer, flicking his tail. 

The human closed his eyes. 

A horrible thought crossed Virgil’s mind. He tried to force it out, but he couldn’t put the notion away that there was something off.

Was this human trying to _kill himself_?!

The answer was, unfortunately and undeniably, yes. 

_I have to save him_. 

Virgil shook the unwanted thought away. Why would he save him? This human was in charge of his own life. If he wanted to throw it away, that was his decision. Who was Virgil to stop him? 

But he didn’t want this human’s body near him. It would undeniably attract sharks and humans, in droves, either concerned about the human who had committed suicide or wanting to eat the human who had committed suicide. Virgil would have to move waters. And he hated change. So he had to stop this human from drowning. If he didn’t, he would be sorry. 

At least, that was what he told himself at that moment. 

He flicked his tail, swimming fast towards the disappearing shape of the human. In one swift move, he scooped him up in his arms and pulled him towards the surface, praying that there were no other humans around. Making sure to be careful, he deposited the human on the shore, then quickly dove back underwater to dab some water on his gills before resurfacing.

_Crap._

The human wasn’t breathing. 

_His lungs must be full of water._ Virgil reasoned. He had seen a human pump another human’s chest when they had been in the water for too long. He attempted to do so now, forming his hand into a fist and pressing it into where he guessed the male’s heart was. _Pump. Pump. Pump._

The human didn’t respond and Virgil realized that it wasn’t enough. He needed something to kick-start his lungs. Just moving his heart in the correct way wouldn’t change a thing. He desperately tried to remember what he had seen that human doing. They had bent down and touched their mouth to the other human’s. Virgil had assumed that they were kissing, because they thought that the human was going to die. 

But what if they weren’t?

What if they had somehow been... giving life to the human? 

With a jolt, Virgil realized something. Humans breathed through their mouths. They didn’t have gills. 

They hadn’t been kissing. The human had been giving the other human their air.

Virgil has to give this human air. 

He took air into his mouth. It felt odd, and dry. He was sure his voice would be raspy for a week. 

Gulping, he opened up the human’s mouth and connected their lips. 

Virgil blew the air in his mouth into the human. He could feel himself getting drier and drier so he quickly reached down and wet his gills again. Then he realized something. 

He doubted it counted, but this human was his first kiss. 

The human was unmoving, so Virgil moves to pump his chest, then to blow air in his mouth, then to pump his chest again. After about a minute of this, Virgil was beginning to lose hope. 

Then the human spasmed and coughed. Water shot out of his mouth. He rolled over and coughed again, bringing a hand to his mouth. Virgil watched curiously as the human blinked in the sunlight. “What was that?” The human croaked. 

“Y’know, you should really be more careful when you’re swimming. You almost drowned.” Virgil said calmly. 

The human flipped around and looked at Virgil in shock. “What-who are- what the f*ck?” 

Virgil put his hands up. “Strong language! I won’t hurt you. Why would I?” 

The human stopped. He looked Virgil up and down. Then he looked him straight **(ha)** in the eye. “You’re....... a mermaid.”

Virgil snorted. “Merman is more like it. He/him pronouns, please. I’m Virgil.”

The human took his hand, still in disbelief. “Roman.”

“Anyway, if you ever want to commit suicide again, please don’t drown yourself. It’s more painful than most other ways. Plus it’s gross to clean.” Virgil said nonchalantly, as if he hadn’t just saved Roman’s life. 

Roman blinked. “So... you want me dead?”

“Well, I would prefer you lived. I find that life is more enjoyable.” Virgil said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go.” Without waiting for Roman’s response, he flicked his tail and swam away, fully aware of all of the laws he had just broken. 

**-Timeskip sponsored by Virgil is out of character help me-**

A couple of months later, a small cottage appeared on the coastline, near where Virgil has saved Roman. A dock was built extending into the ocean, and a small rowboat was tied to the dock. 

Virgil studied the cottage from afar. A man came out to stand on the edge of the dock. 

“Oh my god. F*cking author and their stupid plot convenience.” Virgil muttered, swimming closer. Sure enough, Roman had built a house right next to where Virgil lived. He was sitting on the edge of the dock, without a shirt, his legs dangling and his toes brushing the water. He was staring wistfully at the horizon. 

Virgil playfully splashed him. Roman looked in his direction. “I swear, Virgil, if that’s you...” 

“the one and only.” Virgil smirked. 

Roman smiled at him. Virgil took the hint and swam over, resting his elbows on the dock. Roman gripped him by the arm and heaved him up. 

They sat in silence for a while. Eventually Roman turned to him. “Can I vent?”

Surprised that Roman would trust him with anything, Virgil nodded. 

“I didn’t think that there was hope. When I came here, I mean. I was depressed, and I mean, I still am, but nowhere near as badly. I was starving myself and cutting. I didn't think I was good enough, or worthy of love. I knew that I was ugly, fat, and a waste of space. I just wanted it to end. And then..." He trailed off for a second, glancing up at Virgil. "I met you.

"You saved me. You gave me a second chance. And then I realized that someone actually cared. That I wasn't alone anymore. And it didn't hurt that you were super hot." Roman smirked at Virgil.

Virgil blinked. "You think _I'm_ hot? You're way hotter than me, Princey."

Suddenly he became aware of Roman's hand gripping his arm. "Virgil." Roman looked him straight **(Ha)** in the eye. "Can I kiss you?"

Virgil blinked. Then he nodded.

The boundaries between Merman and Human were completely forgotten as their lips met passionately.


	59. A/N

*sigh*

I’m putting the month-long ship challenge on hold. 

For several reasons. Some of them are personal, but here’s a couple I am willing to share. 

• **I have a hell of a lot of schoolwork**. I had 7 hours today, only leaving me two hours to write. And that’s not enough time to make something that I’m proud of. 

• **I don’t ship some of the ships in the challenge.** Sure, this pushes me out of my comfort zone in a good way and challenges me to try new things, but I need longer then two hours to get the dynamic of the ship down. 

• **I’m trying to improve my writing**. The goal of this book is not only to bring quality content to all of you out there that read my crap, but also to make it... well, less crappy. And I don’t think that can happen anywhere near as efficiently when I’m this hard-pressed to write. 

• **The next Sanders Sides is coming out soon.** I’m wayyy to excited to focus for long enough. 

  
  


There are some reasons for you all! I just don’t feel like my writing is improving at all, and I think I need more time to make that happen. With that said, I’m putting the challenge on hold. Not the book, just the challenge.

ILY all!

-Ech0 ❤️


	60. Rain(No Ship)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit goes to the imagination and makes it rain because it calms him... however, he ends up sinking further into the dark then ever before.
> 
> As in im too tired to do a description, just Deceit angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't posted in a week! I'm super excited for the new episode and SCREEEEEE-
> 
> Side note: It's raining super hard(and I mean super hard) today so that's nice and foreboding
> 
> Also happy anniversary to Lee and Mary Lee!
> 
> ok these descriptions took wayyyyyy too long to write
> 
> TW: Depressed/Suicidal Deceit(I'm a sucker for Deceit angst so bear with me, there will hopefully be a part 2)

Deceit loved the rain.

He didn't really know why he was attracted to this sort of weather, the dreary drizzle of water that occasionally fell from a cloud-covered sky. Maybe it was because his head was a confusing place, some days a twisting, confusing maze of lies and truths and other days just annoyingly stubborn and full of the insistent need to fabricate a falsehood, and the constant pitter-patter of droplets pinging against his wall helped calm him down. Maybe it was because he was a villain and the dark dinginess of the foggy, muddy weather fit with his aesthetic. Maybe it was because he was so far away from the insistent brightness of the light sides, just a cloud blocking the sun, clouding everyone's eyes and minds and hearts until nobody could think straight.

Maybe it was just because he was part snake, and snakes had a natural instinct to come out during the rain and look for prey, weak and slowed by the mud and water dripping from the sky.

Whatever the reason, he snuck into the imagination(quite easy, by the way. Remus never watched his door) and bent it to his will, forcing the sky to leak like squeezing a wet sponge. Dark, ominous clouds gathered before his very eyes.

A few moments later, Deceit sat under a tree that was almost enough to keep him from getting wet and watched the rain fall.

A few droplets splashed lightly on his chest and face, spattering infinitesimal pricks of cool water on his cheeks. Deceit smiled and let himself get wet. He figured it would take at least thirty minutes for the rain to soak through his clothes, and he could move to a drier place if he needed to. At the moment, he was content with just letting his eyes scope out the landscape in front of him.

He had picked a tree atop a good-sized hill, a quercus ilex, if he recalled correctly. It looked to anybody to be just a normal oak tree. And it was. But that was what made it special. See, every living thing had something distinctly beautiful about it, and this tree was no exception. It had a thick trunk and sturdy branches reaching towards the sky like outstretched hands extending to touch the clouds. Deep green leaves hung from its boughs, laden and plentiful. They drooped slightly in the rain and blew in the suddenly ferocious winds, but never gave up, clinging tightly to the tree from which they had come. Yes, this tree was a fighter, and it would do whatever it took to reach the sky and touch the clouds and see what it couldn't see before.

Deceit let his mind wander, the ridges of the tree's bark digging slightly into his back. You would think that he would be bored, but he could be left alone to his thoughts for quite a while and remain slightly entertained.

He just couldn't let his thoughts wander too far down the darker paths.

He shoved those unwanted thoughts away and focused on the hills below him. He was sitting on a substantially sized root, gnarly but not too uncomfortable. His feet rested on damp grass below him. Deceit's eyes traveled down the hill, to the long grasses and small boulders and streams, swollen from the rain constantly pattering at the ground. The hills in the distance were quite pretty, actually. About half a mile to his left, a small forest started, dotted with pine trees. Flowers, flattened by the wind, hid among the tall grass and smiled at Deceit from afar, a constant reminder that nothing was as it seemed on the outside. Lightning flashed on the horizon, just close enough to see but far to distant to hear. And then Deceit's eyes had nothing to settle on and he couldn't distract himself from the thoughts that had been nagging at his brain since he sat down. The constant reminders, mostly unintentional, that he was unwanted. Useless. Villainous. Evil. Immoral. The diamond scales that shone on his face, forever separating him from all other sides.

Deceit had never wanted to be the villain.

And yet, he was. He was lies, deception, two-faced, a snake. Everything he stood for went against good. Self-preservation was his entire purpose. And that was immoral. Therefore, _he_ was immoral.

And he could never belong.

At first he thought he could fit in with the dark sides. But he realized that they were just as distant as everyone else. Orange never talked to anybody. He isolated himself in his room, shutting everyone out and himself in. Remus, however dark he was, was still half of a whole. Part of creativity. Brother of one of the light sides. Try as Thomas might, he could never deter him, and he would just keep returning. As soon as he was introduced into the series, his fate had been sealed. He would become a light side, or at least a neutral side. There was no way out of it.

And Virgil. Virgil, Virgil, Virgil.

Virgil was the only one who had kept Deceit going during his darkest times. Anxiety, a side as distant as Deceit himself, so deep in the dark that he was sure he would stay forever. Deceit and Virgil formed a bond. They comforted each other when they sunk too deep into their own minds, further and further away from their hosts.

But soon, that bond shattered like glass. Virgil rose up to join the light sides, and Deceit was alone.

It was for the best, he supposed. No one wanted to stay with him and talk to him. Socialize. Visit, even if it was only to say hello and make sure he hadn't faded into nonexistence. And Deceit was fine with that. If no one wanted him, why should he bother? He didn't want to burden anyone.

He told himself that he didn't need a family, or friends. All he needed was himself.

He had always excelled in lying, especially to himself.

(he didn't want to admit it, but he loved the light sides. Even Patton, who went against everything he stood for.)

Deceit didn't want to steal anyone's food, so he stopped eating. He didn't want to bother anyone with his feelings, so he bottled them up and kept them locked away. He didn't want to bore them with his endless chatter about philosophy and things that fascinated him, so he didn't talk to anyone. He didn't want a voice. He was just a villain, a hindrance after all.

And then he began to wonder. _Do I make Thomas a bad person?_

_Am I needed_? He supposed not. After all, Thomas never really lied anyway.

_Am I wanted?_ That was a definite no. Nobody liked him. Even his own host had called him a 'Slimy Boi'. Everything about him went against the lights.

**_When you lo-care for someone, not much hurts more than their scorn._**

_What would happen if...._ he didn't want to finish that thought.

**_The more you try to force out a thought, the more intrusive and/or repetitive said thought becomes._**

He hid behind his lies. If you tore that away, he was nothing.

_**I thought that that was coping, only joking, never showing sadness, hoping it would go away...**_

_What would happen if I ducked out?_ He shook the thought away as soon as it crossed his mind. But it wasn't that easy. What was the point of even going on, if he was scorned and unwanted and unnecessary anyway?

_**The point of life can't be just effort for effort's sake.** _

He doubted he had much effect on Thomas anyway. He did just fine without him. He had plenty of other sides that would help him preserve.

Thomas would be _fine_. Deceit just burdened him anyway. In fact, Thomas would be better off without him. Deceit was _worthless_. A snake. A liar. The darkest of the dark.

_**lie...**_

Deceit ignored the nagging voices in his head **(BMC reference fully intended)** and sunk out to his room.

He took a deep breath.

Suddenly his room seemed darker than ever before.

That morning, Thomas woke up, only to find that he couldn't lie.

**hehe cliffhanger! Part 2 coming soon.**


	61. Crap I Wrote At 12 AM(Prinxiety, Intrulogical, Moceit)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s currently 11 pm
> 
> im gonna write something. 
> 
> *inhale* reeeeeeeEeEeEEEEEEEEE-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: absolutely no plot whatsoever just fluffy kisses and cuddles with several different couples
> 
> also censored cussing, implied smut, sexual innuendo, tentacles, and bad writing

Patton groggily opened his eyes, taking a moment to adjust to the brightness of the morning light streaming through his window. The clock read _9:30 am_. Patton moved to get up before realizing that he was stuck. 

More specifically, being hugged tightly by a certain snek. 

Patton turned around, smiling and looking at his boyfriend’s face. Deceit was half-asleep, his eyes closed as he blepped. “No...” he murmured sleepily. “Don’ leave yet.”

Patton giggled, pressing a kiss to his nose. “Dee, we have to get up. Thomas needs us.”

“More sleep.” Deceit insisted, burying his head into Patton’s chest. He wasn’t wearing his hat or gloves, just some baggy Slytherin pajamas, and his curly hair was tantalizingly fluffy. Patton ran a hand through his locks. 

Deceit squinted up at him, still blepping. He pulled Patton closer, nuzzling his head into the crook of his neck. Patton pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

“Love you.” Deceit murmured into his chest. Patton grinned, wrapping his arms around the snakelike side. “I love you too.” 

Roman was awake. It was currently 9:55 am. However, he didn’t move to get up. Because sleeping in his arms was a certain adorable emo boy. 

He watched Virgil sleep. Not in a creepy way. The anxious side was just _adorable,_ with his purple bangs and his faint freckles and his eyelashes and his lips, which Roman really wanted to kiss but wouldn’t for fear of waking him up. He didn’t want to ruin this moment. His boyfriend was breathing softly, his breath stirring Roman’s hair. Roman pulled him close and hugged him tight, vowing to never let him go, to love him forever as he pressed soft kisses to his forehead. 

And of course, the f*cking alarm clock had to ruin the moment. Roman swore under his breath and turned it off with a snap of his fingers, but not in time. Virgil was stirring, and his eyelids fluttered open. He looked up at Roman. “What time is it?” He asked groggily. 

“About 10? Ish?” Roman said, pulling Virgil into his embrace. 

“Ro... we have to get up...” Virgil muttered, although he returned the hug.

“I’d rather not.” Everyone knew how stubborn the prince could be. 

Virgil sighed and pressed a sloppy kiss to Roman’s mouth. “Fine. Five more minutes.”

(they may or may not have spent the next fifteen minutes making out)

Logan’s alarm used to ring at 7 am, on the dot, every morning. 

However, a couple of weeks ago, Remus had barged into his room, ‘yeeted’(Logan mentally congratulated himself on his use of slang) it out the window, and proclaimed that it could go f*ck itself before Remus did it himself. He had then proceeded to throw a grenade out the window after it, then press Logan against the wall and make out with him as a couple of cars he had summoned for plot convenience exploded in the background. 

Was it bad that Logan didn’t really mind?

His boyfriend was chaotic, yes. Actually, that was a huge understatement. But Logan loved him for it.

Logan’s eyes opened slowly. His watch read 10:45 am. He moved to get up, but realized that a tentacle wrapped around his waist was preventing him from moving. He turned around to see a sleepy, shirtless Remus, cuddling up to him. It was then that he realized that he didn’t have a shirt on either. Remus wrapped his arms and tentacles around Logan. Logan rolled his eyes and turned around. Remus smirked at him. “( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).“

Logan blinked. He almost asked how his boyfriend had _said_ a Lenny Face but thought better of it. Instead he just chastised him. “Remus, we need to get up...” 

“Oh, come onnnnnnnnnnn. You know how much you wanna stay here with meee!” Remus smirked, pressing a kiss to Logan’s neck. Logan shivered. “As much as I want to, I have to help Thomas.” 

“Kinky.” Remus smirked, pulling Logan closer.

Logan blushed. “Shut up, I’m the top here.” He muttered. 

“But seriously.” Remus continued. “Thomas is all caught up. He posted a video a couple of days ago and he’s already done with the scripts for the next videos a couple weeks in advance. He can take a break.”

“But-“ he tried to protest but Remus pressed a sloppy kiss to his mouth, shutting him up quickly. “No buts. Except mine and yours, of course.” Remus smirked, trailing a hand over Logan’s bare chest. 

Logan blushed harder and conceded, letting Remus pull him back into bed and hug him, his tentacles sliding tantalizingly across Logan’s bare back. 

They got distracted shortly thereafter. 


	62. Rain Part Two(Platonic DLAMPT)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas, Deceit, and the light sides realize how much they need each other. How much they LOVE each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Depression, suicidal thoughts, cutting, censored cussing, sort of unsympathetic Deceit? Sympathetic Light Sides  
> yeah the angst is far from over peeps(but there's a fluffy ending)
> 
> sorry this didnt come out sooner
> 
> and yes i just made a gay joke
> 
> this is not as good as the first part you have been warned
> 
> anddddd it took a week whoops

A usually funny, peppy, bubbly homosexual social media personality ran downstairs, not bothering to get out of his pajamas. "Logan!" He called, panicked. He slid into his usual spot, breathing hard as the logical side rose up.

Logan still had his unicorn onesie on, and he was sipping from a cup of coffee. He almost dropped his book at the sudden call. "Thomas, you should really warn us before summoning us." He snapped his fingers and instantly had on his normal outfit, cleaning the coffee that had spattered on the floor with a small wave of his hand. "What do you need?"

Thomas looked at him, eyes wide. "I can't lie." He whispered.

Almost instantly, Patton, Roman, and Virgil appeared. " _What_?!" Roman screeched, the hood of his beast onesie falling off his head.

Virgil flinched backwards, pulling his hood over his head and tightening the strings. He seemed to be having an impending panic attack.

"Oh no..." Patton breathed.

"Calm down. It may be nothing. Thomas, say an obvious falsehood." Logan turned to Thomas.

"Something like, _I'm straight_. Or _my name is Joan_." Roman added, reaching over to grip Virgil's hand in a futile attempt to calm the anxious side down.

"Um... I'm gay. My name is Thomas. Ok, wHAT IS HAPPENING?!"

Logan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I don't need this right now..." He muttered.

"It looks like Fibber on the Roof has officially clocked out." Roman muttered.

"We have to help him!" Patton exclaimed, looking around worriedly.

"Oh sh*t. Oh sh*t." Virgil muttered, pressing his hands into his forehead. "Oh God, what did I do?"

"Virgil, I'm sure it wasn't your fault." Roman looked at the anxious side, trying to reassure him.

Virgil's eyes were panicked. "But what if it _was_? What if the only reason Deceit's not here is because I left him? The Dark side is an isolating place. Your brother isn't really one to give comfort, and... _the others_ are just as hostile. I bet he's been alone for _years_ and it was my fault. He _hates_ me now. Because I left him. And now he's alone and gone and he'll never come back and it's all my fault."

Nobody had anything to say to that. Eventually, Roman muttered, "I thought you.. hated him."

"I tried to. I tried to forget that I spent almost all of my life with him. But I couldn't. And still can't." Virgil blinked, looking down. "I thought... I thought that he would always be there. Sort of a constant, however much he went against everything I stood for. But now... now he's not. And that really scares me." He looked up, meeting Thomas's eyes for the first time, tears brimming in his eyes. "We have to help him."

Roman looked up at Virgil. "When I first met you, and you were still a dark side... I hated you. I didn't want you around, simply because I thought that all of the dark sides were bad. But you, and maybe even my brother, taught me that that isn't true. I can't immediately judge any side based on if they're light or dark without first getting to know them. And Deceit is no different."

"I agree." Logan said, glancing at Virgil. "Like it or not, Deceit is an essential part of Thomas as a whole. If Thomas can't lie, he therefore can't act, or sing, or defend himself very well. And although I hate to admit it, Deceit was right. A society is not exactly the safest place for humans to live all the time."

Patton joined in next. "I don't... agree with Deceit in most ways. But it's wrong to leave a side alone in the dark for that long. I don't ever want to make that mistake again." The moral side's eyes flicked towards Virgil, who met his gaze.

"Then that settles it." Thomas looked at each side in turn, a mixture of fear, determination, and even a bit of uncertainty in his eyes. "Let's go save Deceit."

**< Deceit's POV>**

Deceit had locked himself in his room so as not to be disturbed. He was on his bed, wrapped in blankets, thinking. Thinking was dangerous sometimes.

_Worthless._

_Unwanted._

_Burden._

_Not worthy._

_You should just **die**_.

He didn't know when he started crying, but silent tears were pricking at the corner of his eyes. He wiped them away, his sleeve pulling up to reveal several faded scars littering his wrists. He yanked his sleeves down again and pulled his caplet closer around himself, sinking deeper into the darkness than ever before.

He had willingly let all of the control he once had over Thomas slip through his fingers, retreating back into the total darkness of his room and bolting the door. The only one who could get in was Thomas, and Deceit doubted his host would notice his absence. He wasn't important. If anything, he was a waste of space. An abomination. An immoral mess of lies and deception. A-

Suddenly his room didn't seem so dark. Because that moment, a knock rang through the room.

Deceit froze. That wasn't right. It couldn't be. No one cared about him, not even himself. It was probably Remus knocking out his brother again, or killing something, or f*cking himself. Yeah.

* _knock_ *

_Sh*t._ That was an actual knock, someone at the door. Deceit debated whether getting up, but he didn't. He didn't want anyone to see his real self, the side that was behind the snake mask. He had to stay strong... even though he knew he was weak.

That was why he forced the hurt out of his voice as whoever was at the door knocked insistently. "Please, keep knocking until your hand breaks." He drawled sarcastically, ignoring the small waver in his tone. "I'm sure Thomas would _love_ your explanation after he sees what a mess you've made."

"Actually, I really wouldn't."

Deceit started, sitting up as the door opened silently. He quickly slid down behind his bed as Thomas walked in, followed closely by Patton, then Logan and Roman, and finally Virgil.

Deceit caught his breath and flinched away from the light, ducking out of sight. "Deceit?" Thomas called, his voice shaking. _why is he here why did he come why does he care_ _?_

A small tear dripped down Deceit's cheek. Just like rain.

"I know I'm breaking the fourth wall here, but at the moment I don't care." Roman marched over to the bed, shattering the single column that resided in the middle of the four light sides and Thomas. "Deceit? Where are you?"

Deceit kept silent, just wishing that they would go away, leave him alone, stop making him a burden when he obviously wasn't wanted or cared about. Wishing that the sides and host that he _loved_ and knew didn't return the gesture would stop hanging on to him and leave him in the dust and darkness. Where villains were _supposed_ to be.

"He's over here."

"Yes, I _totally_ want you in my room right now. Not like I locked the door for a reason or anything." Deceit had to keep up the facade. He had to make sure that none of the other sides or Thomas knew how _broken_ and _damaged_ he really was **(Heathers? No? ...I should really stop making references** **when I'm writing such angsty fanfiction but I couldn't help myself)**.

"Deceit..." Patton started towards the snakelike side, a determined look on his face.

Deceit barked a dry laugh. "Don't even bother. I know when I'm not wanted."

"But... but you are wanted!" Patton protested.

Deceit raised an eyebrow, his golden eye flashing in the darkness of his room. "And it's not like I can _tell_ that you're _lying_. Face it- I'm the villain. I'm a burden. You're better off without me."

Logan started to speak, but Deceit cut him off. "And you _definitely_ react well to me showing up in your videos. 'Golly gee, welcome, Mr. Scooby Doo villain! Your imput is _always_ appreciated _no matter what._ It's not like two of my main sides go against your _entire purpose_ or anything!'" The bitter sarcasm dripped thick and heavy from his voice like syrup.

And suddenly a side clad in a black jacket with patches of color ran over to Deceit and wrapped his arms around him. Virgil’s eyes were shiny with tears. 

“Deceit. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” The anxious side breathed.

...he wasn’t lying.

And that’s when Deceit broke. 

A small sob escaped his mouth, and tears dripped down his cheeks. Slowly, he returned the hug, wrapping his arms around Virgil. Another pair of arms was around Deceit’s torso. Surprisingly, they belonged to Thomas. Deceit buried his head in his host’s shoulder, moving one arm to encircle his shoulders as well. And then they were in a group hug, with Patton, Roman, and even Logan joining. 

Deceit sniffed. “Why? Why did you come for me? Why did you notice I was gone?”

“Well, I couldn’t lie, so that was sort of a red flag. But it was weird, because I couldn’t lie to myself, either, I guess... I wasn’t thinking as I normally would. I had lost any and all ability to lie to anyone.” Thomas said slowly. 

“Yeah, but why is that a bad thing? Like Patton said before, lying is wrong. My entire purpose and being goes against all morals.” Deceit sniffed. 

Patton looked at him. “Not exactly.... if one of Thomas’s friends asks him what he thought of, say, a new hat, and the hat was hideous, what would Thomas do?”

Deceit blinked, another tear falling. “Tell a white lie to spare their feelings.” 

“Exactly!” Patton hugged him tight. “Lying isn’t always bad, and I’m so, so sorry that I made you feel like you were unwanted or a burden in any way. Because that is not true.” 

“Remember that Pamela Meyer stated that you are lied to between 10-200 times a day. If Thomas couldn’t lie, he could not engage in normal conversation.” Logan said, adjusting his glasses. “Meaning that Deceit contributes a lot more than we give him credit for.”

“Yeah, as much as I take credit for your skill in acting, performance, and theater, a lot of that is Deceit. To get in character, you subconsciously lie to yourself and change some of your body language and general thoughts to fit the character that your playing. If it weren’t for Deceit, you would most definitely not be at the skill level you are at today.” Roman added, smiling at Deceit and gripping his arm. “Also, when Hot Topic here joined the light sides, I realized that not all sides should immediately be completely judged based on whether they’re light or dark. And you are no exception.” 

Virgil has tears in his eyes when he spoke up. “When Thomas called us and-and said that he couldn’t lie, I realized that I couldn’t imagine a world without you in it. And that it was probably my fault that you had ducked out.” 

“Quack.” Patton whispered quietly. 

Deceit shook his head. “I-It’s not your fault. It’s really no one’s except mine.” 

“But still!” Virgil protested. “I could never forgive myself. And I realized something. Deceit....” he swallowed, tears brimming in his eyes. “I-I love you. Platonically of course.” He added quickly. “But-but you were my family for most of my life. I don’t think I ever stopped loving you.” 

“As do I!” Roman proclaimed grandly, sweeping an arm through the air. “Creativity and Deceit aren’t so different. We’ve seen eye-to-eye before. And I don’t want you to be alone anymore.”

“Neither do I.” Patton proclaimed, determined. “I have made a point to love every part of Thomas. You are no exception. Plus, you’re lonely, and I _refuse_ to have any lonely sides in this Thomasphere!” He hugged Deceit tightly, pulling the snakelike side close to his chest. 

“I agree. Loneliness is far from ideal for mental health. And I can tell that you’re far more damaged than you want to show.” Logan eyed Deceit’s wrists. Fortunately, no one but Deceit noticed. “Your input is also needed, and I know that your suggestions are usually beneficial to Thomas. Plus, your level in the knowledge department is satisfactory.” 

Thomas sighed. “Deceit, self-love is important. I need to learn to love every part of myself, moral or not, and that includes you. Sometimes, being selfish is the best thing to do.”

Tears rolled down Deceit’s cheeks. He as so overwhelmed by feelings of hope and joy and love and surprise and wonder that all he could whisper was a raspy, “Thank you.” 

Thomas pulled Deceit close, and Patton, Roman, Virgil and Logan all piled into the group hug. Deceit sniffled, his head buried in his host’s chest. 

And he somehow found the words to express his feelings. He mumbled them into Thomas’s chest. 

“I love you, too.”

With that, Deceit was pulled into his new famILY. 

  
  


**(hahaha kill me its 11:30 am And I’m not even gonna edit this so yeet)**


	63. Once Again, It’s in a F*cking Closet(Logince with background Demus, Dukexiety, and Moceit)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written(mostly) at 12 am because my good ol’ friend insomnia visited.   
> jk this has been in my drafts for about a month and a half and its not even good-  
> On the bright side I put like five Hamilton references in here so-  
> TW: censored cursing, sexual innuendo(courtesy of Remus [and me shhhhhh-]), making out, bad writing oof

Roman pounded on the door. “Are you kidding me?” 

“Oh, I _never_ kid.” Logan could hear the smirk in Deceit’s voice. Still dazed, he figuratively took a moment to examine his surroundings. Approximately 3.4 seconds ago he had been shoved into this small room. In fact, Logan didn’t even know if it classified as a room. It was more like a walk-in closet. A lamp was flickering on a small table shoved into the corner. Two fold-up chairs were strewn carelessly onto the floor. 

“Let me out, Remus!” Roman snapped. 

“Oh, just you, brother dearest? You’re not worried about your little nerd at all?” Remus called through the door. 

Roman shot Logan a look. “He’s far from ‘my’ nerd.”

“Well that won’t do! You two are staying in there for a whole day!” Remus squealed. 

“Totally a whole day. Not three hours or anything.” Decent corrected. “You two are by far the _most_ tolerable sides when you argue.” 

“I _will_ kill you, Remus.” Roman threatened. 

“You can try! Just remember that me and my Morningstar knocked you out for an entire half hour last episode!” Remus giggled. 

“We won’t be leaving you now. Tata- _ow_! F*ck, Remus.” Deceit snapped. 

“No, that would be me. Oh, and if you two f*ck in there, don’t muffle the noises!” Remus called.

Logan pulled up a chair and sat in it. He watched, frankly quite amused, as Roman jiggled the lock and screamed at his brother like the lunatic he was. 

He _was_ very attractive, though. 

_Nope._ _You did_ not _just think that_. Logan pushed the unwanted emotions away.

Roman finally gave up and dramatically slid to the ground, presumably defeated. Then again, what did Roman do that _wasn’t_ dramatic? The creative side was very ‘extra’(Logan mentally congratulated himself on his use of slang). He was passionate and loud and messy. And Logan was stuck in a room with him for three hours. Or, to be precise, two hours and fifty-eight minutes. Two hours and fifty eight minutes he could spend working or organizing or doing his job, but was being forced to waste it away in a closet. With _Roman_ , nonetheless.

_It could be worse. I could be stuck in here with Remus_ , he thought.

Not even a second later, Roman got bored and started singing various Disney songs.

Actually, maybe Remus would’ve been better.

Logan sighed. He was- what was the word? Bored. He had no books or Rubix cubes or vocab cards on his person. He tried to summon a piece of paper, but as he had expected, it didn’t work. 

Roman’s voice rang in the background. He was holding a hairbrush like a microphone. It took Logan a couple moments to realize that he was sauntering over to him, smirking. 

“Someday my prince will come.” Roman started, crossing the room to face Logan. “Someday we'll meet again.”

Logan rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair.

“And away to his castle we'll go, To be happy forever I know.” Roman continued, moving so he was standing in front of Logan, his arm extended. 

"Is there a purpose for this?" Logan asked.

Roman just smirked, his hand 'accidentally' brushing Logan's cheek. "Someday when spring is here, We'll find our love anew, And the birds will sing and wedding bells will ring."

Logan was a bit flustered, a small blush rising to his cheeks. He glanced down, making sure to look anywhere but Roman.

Roman leaned over, cupping the logical side's cheek. "Someday when my dreams come true..."

Logan had become a flustered mess. All he could see were Roman's brown eyes, gleaming softly in the half-light of the room, showing so many feelings and emotions. The swoop of hair that made up his bangs. The curve of his cheek. The slope of his nose down to his lips, that were mere inches from Logan's.

Both sides closed their eyes, starting to lean in. Logan's brain was a mess of feelings and emotions raging through him like a wildfire.

_...what am I **doing**_?

Logan snapped his eyes open and gently shoved Roman away, his face tomato-red. Roman was smirking at him, still eyeing his lips. Logan looked away.

"You like that, specs?" Roman snarked.

"Shut up."

**~Timeskip because I'm lazyyyy(and somehow got 150 followers on TikTok within a day so-)~**

Thirty minutes later, Roman was sitting in the other fold-up chair, across the room from Logan, still belting out lyrics. He had just finished 'Do You Want To Build a Snowman?' and sat up to begin another song. Logan was bored, sometimes unconsciously tapping his toe to the beat, visualizing complex algebraic expressions in his brain and solving them quickly.

But the song Roman had just started was, surprisingly, _not_ Disney. It also wasn't from a Broadway musical. No, Roman had started one of Logan's personal favorites, dedicated to his favorite brand of fruit spread.

"It's hard to stay in form these days with news so intense. We're bombarded with grim _**black currant** _events. I should drop this whole serious song pretense, because this song is not about all that." He smiled at Logan, continuing to sing Thomas's lines because their host wasn't here. "We made a partnership with Crofter's! We heard a roar across the border that we think came from their bear. We believe it meant to extend us an offer, for which I plan to make a jam that's just as tasty as theirs!" He looked at Logan expectantly.

Logan surprised himself. "Dreams come true, that's news to me. How **_wild blueberry_**! Who knew that our buffoonery would bear fruit so divine? Even I...." He riffed for a bit longer than necessary. "I don't have the vocabulary to describe what I'm feeling inside, but for me it's very unordinary. The first time you bought a jar, I remember the day, in a local health foods grocery..."

Roman stood up and spun a little, extending an arm to Logan. "I felt like Laura Croft or Nathan Drake, discovering a treasure once unknown to me! But the greatest thing is yet to be revealed... guys, I cannot believe this is real!" He snapped his fingers and, miraculously, a jar of Crofter's and two spoons appeared.

Logan sat bolt upright. "Wait, you can summon things here?"

"Yeah, but my powers are weaker here. So I can only summon so much. Right now, I only had the energy for one jar." Roman said, looking down, a bit flushed. "But you looked hungry, so I improvised."

Logan blinked. "That's... very kind of you, Roman." He tried to ignore the unwanted feelings that figuratively swelled in his chest.

Roman smirked, his usual arrogant air returning. "I know." He moved the small, rickety table in the corner so it was between the two chairs, and put the jar of jam on the table, unscrewing the lid and spooning some into his mouth. Logan did the same.

It took him almost ten minutes to realize that he was sharing a jar of Crofter's with Roman.

**=Andddddddd its another fricking time skip whoop de doo=**

After they had finished their snack(although had they really? Roman looked like a pretty good snack to Logan), Roman moved the table back into the corner and sat back down in his chair. He didn't resume singing, to Logan's surprise(and relief). Instead, he sprawled dramatically in his chair. "I'm bored."

"Aren't we all?" Logan sighed.

Roman sat up. "Hey, I know! Wanna play truth or dare?"

"Not particularly."

Roman eyed him. "Please? Remember, I was so nice as to let you have some of my Crofter's."

Logan rolled his eyes. "I suppose I do owe you. Fine."

"Yay!" Roman clapped. "Truth or dare!"

"...Truth." Logan knew very well where this could go.

"Can you feel things? Like, feelings?" Roman asked, something hidden in his gaze.

Logan blinked. That was not what he had expected. "Well... yes, I can. In fact, you have seen me feel frustration, anger, and happiness before."

Roman leaned back in his chair, seemingly satisfied with Logan's answer. "Got it. Your turn!"

"Tru-"

"Dare." Roman smirked, answering before Logan could even finish the question.

Logan rolled his eyes but smiled a little at Roman's extravagant personality. "I dare you to admit that I'm better than you."

Roman's face flushed. "Truth."

Logan leaned forward. "Am I actually as... annoying as you say I am? Just for growth purposes." He added quickly. "I don't want to be as much of a burden as I am now."

"You're not really that annoying. And you're far from a burden." Roman murmured. "I guess I just... I don't know. We both have short tempers and a way with words, plus our personalities clash.... it's only natural that we'd fight."

Logan was surprised. He had expected Princey to hate him, but it didn't really seem like that was it at all. They were more... friendly rivals than enemies.

"Truth or dare?" Logan was jolted out of his thoughts by Roman’s question. “Truth, I suppose.” 

Roman's usual smirk was back on his face as he leaned in. Suddenly he was only a foot away from Logan. His hand **(started figeting, he looked askance. _He's penniless, he's flying by the seat of his pants_. Handsome, boy does he know it. Peach fuzz, and he can't even grow it!)** reached up and trailed along Logan's cheek. "Do you want to kiss me?" His tone became silky and he brought his face closer still to Logan’s.

Logan stiffened, flushing a deep red. ~~He wanted to. He wanted to kiss Roman so, so badly~~. “Dare.” He said quickly.

Roman smirked. “I dare you to kiss me.” 

Logan blushed harder, if that was possible. “Never have I ever!” He stuttered.

“That’s not the game!” Roman protested. “Fine. I’ll leave you alone. Unless..?” He raised his eyebrows, his eyes flicking downwards to Logan’s lips, then back to his mahogany orbs.

Logan’s face vaguely resembled a tomato. “I’m good for now, thanks.” 

Roman smirked. “Right. For now.” 

“W-wait, that’s not what I-“ Logan’s protests fell on deaf ears. 

**-I WANNA TAKE HIM FAR AWAY FROM THIS PLACE BUT THEN I TURN AND SEE MY SISTER’S FACE AND SHE IS 🎶HeLpLeSs🎵-**

There was only thirty minutes left of their punishment(although Logan doubted he was supposed to enjoy any punishment that much **[...** **( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I’m not sorry]** ). What could go wrong?

As soon as Logan thought that, Roman, who had been twirling around the closet, stumbled and fell. Right into Logan. They both tumbled to the ground, Roman with a high-pitched screech. 

Logan blinked, his glasses crooked as he sprawled on the floor, Roman basically on top of him. “...how did you even make that sound? It was so high-pitched.” 

“What can I say? I’m that amazing!” Roman smirked, leaning forward so that his face was inches from Logan’s. “Say, this is a very flattering angle.”

Suddenly the logical side was acutely aware of every point his skin was coming in contact with Roman’s. 

“Shut up” Logan tried to snap. It came out as more of a growl. His face was figuratively on fire. 

Roman’s smirk was even more breathtaking up close. “Make me.” He knew exactly what he was doing to Logan, making him flustered and confused and flushed and emotional.

Was it bad that Logan didn’t mind?

As if an invisible force was controlling his hand, Logan sat up, grabbed Roman’s chin, and pulled their faces infinitely closer.

For a tantalizing, beautiful moment their lips were mere millimeters away from each other.

And then Roman closed the gap and oh. My. Lord.

Logan was kissing Roman. 

_Roman_.

Their lips moved in sync. Logan felt like sparks were traveling from his lips down to his heart and even all the way down to his toes. And although he knew that Roman physically could not move fast enough to create sparks, he still felt that way. And it felt _so good_. 

Roman pulled Logan into his lap, still kissing him. He slid an arm under Logan’s and ran a hand through his hair. Logan shivered at the gentle and loving feeling. He reached up slowly and cupped Roman’s cheek. Roman smiled into the kiss.

Logan pressed closer to Roman, exploring every inch of his mouth. He tasted like cinnamon and carnations **(if you get this reference you are a _legend_ )** and a hint of vanilla. Roman kissed back passionately, his teeth grazing Logan’s lower lip. Logan wrapped his legs around Roman’s torso. 

Slowly, regretfully, Roman disconnected their lips. He rested his forehead on Logan’s. ”I know we’ve only like just kissed once, or whatever, but... I love you, Logan.”

Logan swallowed. “I-I love you, too.” 

Their lips met again in a sloppy, open-mouthed, passionate mess. 

A couple of minutes later, Virgil opened the door to see Logan and Roman still making out. Neither noticed. In fact they didn’t notice Virgil or Remus until Virgil sighed and handed the Duke a ten-dollar founding father without a father **(got a lot farther by working a lot harder by being a lot smarter by being a self-starter by fourteen)**. “Dammit.”

Logan whipped around. “Virgil?” 

Remus smirked. “You two are so easy to predict. Honestly. Deceit owes me twenty dollars, too.”

“Wait... you _bet_ on us? And Virgil, you were in on this?” Roman asked, standing up and pulling Logan up with him.

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Duh. You think I’d miss a chance to lock my otp in a closet?” 

“You _ship us_?” Roman gasped incredulously.

“I have for years now.” Virgil smirked, turning to Remus. “Next up is Patton and Dee.” 

“Agreed.” Remus slapped Virgil’s hand.


	64. Cold-Blooded(Thomceit Birthday Special)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit is cold. Thomas is warm. Snek cuddles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for Thomas's BIRTHDAY! Happy birthday, you beautiful Gay Disney Prince!
> 
> I know I don't normally write Thomas x Sides, but I wanted to do something special for his birthday and since Thomceit(Thomas x Deceit) is ADORABLE, I wrote it!
> 
> That being said, this could be taken platonically or romantically. Yeet.
> 
> And sorry it's so short oof-
> 
> I guess this is an AU where Thomas can summon his sides into the real world if he wants to? They are still his traits, but they take on a sort of humanlike form? Idk.
> 
> (hopefully I'll get this done and posted before like 5 pm but knowing me probably not XD)
> 
> TW: Cold-bloodedness I guess, Skiing...?

Deceit was frozen.

More accurately, he was curled up on his bed in a blanket burrito, shivering. The chill had begun to seep through his cold-blooded veins. His eyes were straining to stay open, and his hands were shaking. Even his cape did nothing to help. He curled in tighter on himself in a futile attempt to keep his body heat. However, being part snake, he had almost none.

Thomas was on a skiing vacation(fricking corona ruined everything) to Colorado. At the moment, he was coasting down the hills towards his cabin as the sun set in the background. And Deceit was freezing cold. Being cold-blooded, he had no way of making his own body heat, and was thus at the mercy of the elements. His eyes began to flutter shut. He started to shiver. The thermometer in the corner read 21° F. He swore under his breath. His body temperature would inevitably drop below freezing. That was not good.

He would have summoned a heater, but it would have done nothing. He could only do so much when he was just a trait, forever a part of Thomas. In a way, him and Thomas were one and the same.

He stopped thinking. Thinking took too much energy. Suddenly, he was more tired than ever before. Everything was slowing down. Deceit's eyelids drooped. His skin was ice-cold. His shivering slowed and his heart rate dropped.

And a pair of arms wrapped around him.

Deceit blinked. Slowly, he began to warm. He shifted around to see his host hugging him and looking down at him with a smile on his face.

"W-what?" He slurred, too tired and cold to lie.

Thomas shrugged. "You were cold. I helped."

Only then did he realize that Thomas was in his cabin, sitting by a roaring fireplace, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He had summoned Deceit into the real world.

"Thanks." He murmured.

Thomas raised an eyebrow. "Did you just tell the truth?"

Deceit realized that he had been honest with his host. For once. He chuckled. "Don't expect that very often." He warned. "You're lucky I'm cold blooded, otherwise it would have taken a lot longer to get me to open up."

Thomas shrugged. "I have my ways." He cuddled Deceit closer to his chest. Deceit leaned on him with a contented sigh. His heart rate sped up to normal speed and his skin was not nearly as cold as it had been a minute ago. He wasn't shivering anymore. However, he was still exhausted. And so was Thomas, after a long day of sleeping. The snakelike side subconsciously nuzzled his hatless head into his host's chest.

The next morning, Roman went to wake up Thomas. However, he saw him asleep on a couch, hugging a cold sleeping snek. He decided to let him sleep in and even draped a blanket over both of their shoulders, smiling(and maybe taking a picture or two for blackmail).


	65. just a platonic moceit drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What’s this? Me, writing a crappy Drabble at ten pm because the new episode just came out(ha, gay-) and I can’t deal with how FLIPPING CUTE JANUS IS? 
> 
> You bet your brand new shiny Frogger video game. And yes, I would pay to see Odom Sides.

Janus was sitting comfortably on the couch, near the other main sides for the first time since the new episode. Both Roman and Virgil were looking at him warily, as was expected. Both would need some time to get used to the snakelike side’s presence. However, Patton, Logan, and even Thomas were more open and welcoming towards Janus, especially after he had revealed his name. Patton was sitting next to Janus, in fact, in an effort to make him feel more comfortable. 

Frozen Two was playing on the tv. Janus wasn’t really paying attention, fiddling with his gloves. Patton, who was wearing his cat onesie, was humming softly along with Elsa as she sung her heart out onscreen. Roman and Thomas has both turned their attention to the film, and Virgil was attempting to relax, although that was difficult with Remus hanging upside down from the ceiling fan and belting out ‘White and Nerdy’. Logan was gritting his teeth, as Remus had chosen a song from the playlist he had made. 

Janus didn’t notice Patton was growing tired until the moral dude’s head was leaning on his shoulder. He froze, and so did Virgil. They glanced at one another from across the room, unnoticed by anyone else. Virgil’s gaze was guarded as he stared Janus in the eye.

Patton’s head shifted and he subconsciously snuggled closer, wrapping his arms around one of Janus’s. Janus looked down at Patton, then at Virgil. He gave a small nod. Apparently satisfied, Virgil returned his attention to the film, though he still glanced at Janus from time to time. Janus let another of his arms wrap loosely around Patton’s shoulders and smiled. 

This was his family. 

**Bonus:**

**Me, while writing this: “Dang, Janus’s name is kind of hard to spell...”**

**My intrusive thoughts/inner Remus: *giggles* “If you take away one letter, it becomes ANUS!!” *cackles***

**Me: *blinks* “You just ruined this for me. I won’t ever write his name the same again, will I?”**

**My Intrusive Thoughts, grinning and flipping me off: “nOPE!”**


	66. Hero(Prinxiety)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: crying, depressed Roman, ducking out, swearing

Roman couldn’t believe it.   
  
Patton and Thomas were supposed to be the heroes! The good guys, alongside him, the prince! Deceit- no, _Janus_ was the bad guy. The villain. The antagonist. The dirty, lying snake. The _dark side_.

And yet... Patton and Thomas loved _him_ more than _Roman_. 

Janus’s words still rang in his ears. “Oh, Roman, thank GOD you don’t have a mustache. Otherwise, between you and Remus, I wouldn’t know _who_ the evil twin was!” 

_Evil twin._

_**Evil twin.** _

Roman tried to tell himself that Janus had been lying. But somehow, he knew that wasn’t true. In that moment, the literal embodiment of Deceit had been completely upfront and honest. 

The only one who had been lying was Thomas. 

“I thought I was your hero!” He had said, looking at his host in desperation, silent, angry tears pricking the corners of his eyes.

Thomas looked shocked and he quickly stumbled over his words to reassure Roman. “Y-you are!”

And Roman has slowly glanced at Janus. And hesitantly, the snakelike side had nodded, confirming his worst fear. 

Thomas had lied. 

Deceit had won. 

And it only got worse from there. He had become so angry and even a little unstable at the outcome of the wedding and the conversation. When Patton has interrupted his rant with a “Hey! It’s ok, kiddo.” he had full-on glared at him, rage filling his gaze. 

Patton smiled. “We love you.”

**_He’s lying_** , the voice in his head said. 

“Right.” Roman sunk out slowly, knowing that his whole world had turned upside down. 

And now he was laying on his bed, thinking. 

**_They don’t love you._ **

**_Why would they love someone like you?_ **

**_Someone who fails at their only purpose._ **

**_Someone who brought the plane down._ **

**_Someone as stupid as you._ **

**_Someone as worthless as you._ **

**_Someone as needy as you._ **

**_Someone as heartless as you._ **

**_Someone as hostile as you._ **

**_Someone as ugly as you._ **

**_Someone so weak and unprepared that your own_ brother _could knock you out for thirty minutes._**

The voices cycled through his head. **_Weak. Ugly. Worthless. Waste of space. Gross. Needy. Useless. Failure._** And before he knew it, Roman was curled in a fetal position on his bed, sobbing softly to himself because he knew that Thomas didn’t love him. _No one_ loved him. Angry, desperate tears streamed down his cheeks.

What had he _done_?

Janus has been trying to _help_.

But he couldn’t. 

Thomas couldn’t be selfish. 

Otherwise, the sacrifice Roman has made when he sentenced Thomas to attend the wedding would be for _nothing_. 

...He couldn’t help but feel like he had made the wrong choice.

Because Janus..... Janus was right. 

He had completely forgotten his purpose... helping Thomas achieve his hopes and dreams. The choice he had made, while incredibly altruistic, was not the right one. 

He had _failed_. 

  
  


Roman couldn’t help but wonder...

_Would Remus be better at this than me?_

He tried to shake the thought off as soon as it had crossed his mind, but it had sunk its iron claws into his brain and refused to let go. 

He wasn’t the only creativity, after all. And that meant something. 

Roman was replaceable. 

Unlike any of the other sides(except for his brother, he supposed) he had a counterpart that represented the same thing he did. Creativity. Passion.

And while Remus’s ideas were much more graphic and horrifying, they were still creative. 

That was what mattered... right?

If he were to duck out like Virgil had, were to let all of the control and effects he had on Thomas slip through his grasp, because obviously he wasn’t qualified to be one of Thomas’s sides... no one would notice.

No one would care. 

Roman began sobbing more and more, curling tighter in on himself. He _had_ to f*ck everything up. That was all that he ever seemed to do. He had made Virgil duck out. He had completely done Janus’s bidding by making Thomas lie to ‘Joan’. He had failed to gain _any_ sense of Logic after his several huge arguments with Logan. He had acted up and forced Thomas to do something he didn’t want to, multiple times. He had been weak enough to be knocked out for an entire _half hour_... by his own _brother_ , no less, who was supposed to be lesser than him. And now, he had completely made fun of Janus when the deceitful side had been willing to open up to them. He had pushed him over the edge. 

Roman wasn’t Thomas’s hero anymore. He doubted he ever was. 

Thomas didn’t need him.

He closed his eyes, took a shaky breath, and let go.

Suddenly he became aware that he wasn’t whole anymore. There was no way to describe it other than that he was _fading_. His arms were becoming transparent, and he could see through his lower legs. _Is this something more... permanent than ducking out?_

Virgil hadn’t completely disappeared when he ducked out... but that must’ve been because he had hope. Hope that the other sides would come for him. 

Roman had nothing.

Tears were streaming down his face. **_Nobody cares. You don’t deserve to be cared for. Worthless. Needy. Broken_**. The voices in his head got louder and louder, surrounding him, pressing in on him, suffocating him. He faded farther and farther away. His arms were almost completely gone, and his legs were transparent. It felt... freeing, almost. He didn’t deserve to be Thomas’s hero. He didn’t deserve to be a side. He didn’t deserve to exist. Tears streamed down his face. He was almost gone. Gone like the voices in his head said he deserved to be. Alone. Invisible. 

And a pair of arms wrapped around him.

And he wasn’t disappearing into nonexistence like he deserved. He was solid and cold but most importantly, there. 

“Roman.” A voice whispered. The slightly gravelly voice of a side he knew so well, from three years of making videos with him and almost a lifetime of banter.

Roman opened his tear-filled eyes to meet Virgil’s. 

“Roman.” The anxious side repeated again, his eyes tearing up as he pulled the once-passionate side into a sitting position and an embrace. 

And at that moment Roman suddenly didn’t care that he was worthless or less than enough or a burden. He didn’t care that he had messed up or hurt Thomas or made the wrong choice. All he cared about was sinking into Virgil’s embrace, into the embrace of a side that he had once ridiculed and shamed endlessly because he couldn’t comprehend that the world wasn’t completely black and white, evil and good, dark and light.

Roman collapsed against Virgil’s chest, sobbing softly. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He repeated the words over and over again as if the repetition of those seven letters grouped into two simple words could make up for the fact that he was worthless, and a burden, and not enough. Never enough. A villain. 

“It’s ok.” Virgil hugged him into his chest. “It’s ok.” 

“But it’s not.” Roman sobbed, clinging to Virgil like his lifeline, though he had been so willing to let it go just a couple of minutes ago. “It won’t be ok ever again. I f*cked up so bad...” 

“Shhhh.” For a side who was literally Anxiety, Virgil was surprisingly good at calming Roman down, with warm hugs and soft, reassuring touches and cuddles. “Tell me what happened.”

“Thomas-“ Roman choked, but forced himself to continue. “I’m not Thomas’s hero. I never was.”

“You are.” Virgil murmured, pulling Roman closer. “You always have been. You always will be.”

He shook his head. “No. No. I messed everything up so badly... I always do...”

“You don’t.” Virgil said confidently, pulling back to look Roman straight in the eye. 

Roman inhaled. “I laughed. I f*cking laughed.”

“At what?” Virgil asked, his voice little more than a whisper.

Roman met Virgil’s eyes, his brown orbs filled with tears. “Janus’s name.”

Virgil was shocked, to say the least. He blinked. “So, he finally told you...” 

Roman sniffed. “Yeah. And I was angry. Angry at him for manipulating me. Angry at Thomas for not listening to us. Angry at Patton and Thomas for-for siding with him.”

The anxious side blinked, cuddling Roman closer into his chest. “ _Patton_ sided with him?” His eyes showed worlds of emotion, storms of conflicting feelings raging and fighting for dominance, and so much more that Roman would never get to know, rolled into a side with dark smudges under his eyes and a worn purple jacket. 

“All of them did. Even Logan.” Roman’s shoulders shook. “I-I told Janus his name was stupid. I lashed out. An-and he told me ‘Oh Roman, thank _God_ you don’t have a mustache. Otherwise, between you and Remus, I wouldn’t know _who_ the evil twin was!’” He broke down into sobs. “ _I_ was the bad guy. Thomas said I wasn’t... but I-I looked at Janus.”

“And?” Virgil’s face was inches from Roman’s.

Roman swallowed. “He nodded. Thomas lied. I lost.”

Virgil blinked and pulled Roman closer. “It’s ok. It’s ok. I still think you’re a hero. Patton thinks you’re the hero. We love you.”

Roman looked up at Virgil with hollow eyes. “That’s what Patton said.” 

“And he wasn’t lying.” Virgil smiled softly, tracing a hand up Roman’s cheek. “I doubt that Patton even has the capacity to lie. We do love you. You are our hero. You are a part of this famILY. That will never change.” 

“Thank you.” Roman sobbed, collapsing into Virgil’s chest. “Thank you.” 

Roman _was_ damaged. Broken.

But not beyond repair.

Virgil used to be just as broken as he was now. But he has mended. And now he was helping Roman through the same struggle he once went through.

All that it took was love.

**This is really bad I’m sorry-**


	67. “This isn’t awkward at all...” (moceit, prinxiety, intrulogical)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell that these three ships are slowly becoming my OTP’s? XD
> 
> I’ve stopped censoring cursing for some of the one shots because I’m lazyyyyyy..... sorry
> 
> TW: Cursing(uncensored, you have been warned), Remus, pranking, turning into animals, making out, heavily implied smut

It was a very well-known fact that Remus was crazy. 

Actually, that was a huge understatement. The intrusive side was, on his best days, scarily unpredictable. You never knew if he would stab you or scream about kinky shit or eat deodorant or twerk or eat something not even remotely classified as a edible or pull a prank on all of the other sides or, on rare occasions, just lay down and relax, letting their host have the day off.

This was most definitely not one of the days off. 

Virgil knew that almost immediately after waking up. He felt weird. Fuzzy, almost. He stretched out, arching his back. 

His yawn sounded suspiciously different. So did his sneeze.

Virgil looked down. His eyes widened. _Oh shit_. 

To put it simply, he was a cat. 

_I swear to God, I will fucking kill Remus once I get my hands on him_.

Overnight, he had turned into a small black kitten, a white spot on his chest. He was extraordinarily tiny, small enough to curl up inside Janus’s hat and take a nap. His whiskers twitched. His tail curled up. His fur poofed out. He even had toe beans.

**(man, this is taking me back to the spring of 2019... me and my irl best friend co-wrote probably a thousand pages of Warriors fanfiction. And no, I will not be sharing it with you, because I don’t have my friend’s permission and, frankly, it’s quite terrible XD)**

Virgil let out a small hiss, his ears pricking in discomfort. His white-tipped tail flicked as he leaped off his bed, landing on the ground with ease. He padded over to the door. 

Which presented another problem.

He was a cat. 

Cats can’t open doors. 

So, Virgil did the only logical thing.

He sat down, tilted his head towards the sky, and yowled.   
  


**+Roman’s POV+**

Roman jolted awake to a loud noise coming from across the hall. He groaned, stretching his arms out and smacking his lips, then turning over and trying to go back to sleep.

Unfortunately for him, the noise persisted.

_It’s too early for this_ , Roman thought, even though it was eleven AM. The noise was sort of like a screech but somehow different. More animal-like.

He got up, quickly snapping his fingers and adorning some fluffy Gryffindor pajamas, then opened his door to investigate. The sound seemed to be coming from Virgil’s room, surprisingly. 

Roman knocked on the door, listening for something. Thankfully, the noise quieted, but it was replaced by scratching and....

Was that _meowing_? 

His curiosity got the better of him and he opened the door. Instantly, the tiniest, cutest kitten he had ever seen bolted out into the hallway, meowing softly.

Roman stared at it for a second. _No way_. He knew by now that this was his twin’s doing.

“Virgil? That you?” Roman crouched down and smiled at the kitten, extending a hand. “It’s ok, I won’t hurt you.”

Slowly, Virgil padded towards Roman, eyeing him cautiously. He nuzzled his head into the prince’s open hand, purring softly. 

“Oh my God, you’re adorable.” Roman breathed. Virgil glared at him, but didn’t protest as Roman scooped him up in his arms and took him down to the common room. 

Patton was making breakfast, but stopped when he saw Roman carrying Virgil. “What in the name of...”

“It’s Virgil. I think Remus turned him into a cat.” Roman replied, stroking Virgil’s head softly and scratching between his ears. A purr vibrated in the anxious side’s chest. 

“He’s adorable!” Patton squealed, staying a safe distance away because of his cat allergy. 

Roman cuddled the side close to his chest, letting him nuzzle closer. “You should probably check on the others. They might be stuck in their rooms like Virgil was.” 

Patton nodded. “And take pictures of Virgil.” He added before jogging upstairs. 

Roman smiled and took Virgil to the couch, letting him curl up in his lap. “You’re so cute,” he murmured, stroking his cheek. Virgil nuzzled into the touch, cuddling closer. Roman could feel the vibrations from his purring. He scratched between his ears, smiling softly.

Honestly? This wasn’t so bad. Especially since Virgil was technically sitting in his lap.

**•Patton’s POV•**

Patton knocked on Janus’s lemon-colored door. “Janus? You in there?”

Nothing answered. “I’m coming in.” Patton decided, swinging open the door softly. 

It wasn’t really a surprise that there was a small bright yellow corn snake curled up on the deceptive side’s bed. “Aww.” Patton whispered. 

The snake, whom Patton assumed was Janus, raised his head to look at the moral side. He blinked as Patton came over.

“Are you Janus?” Patton asked for confirmation. The snake bobbed his head in a sort of nod.

Patton smiled. “C’mere, I’ll bring you downstairs.”

Slowly, Janus slithered over to Patton. He scooped him up. It came as a surprise to him when Janus slithered his way up his arm to curl around his shoulders. He laughed at the pleasant sensation. “That tickles!” 

Janus blinked at him, relaxing in contentment. Patton smiled at him, booping his nose. “Aww.”

Janus blepped and Patton let out a small squeal. He stroked along his scales, and Janus let out a small hiss of contentment and curled closer, supposedly for warmth. 

Patton brought him downstairs, laughing slightly at the tickling sensation of Janus resting peacefully on his shoulders. Roman looked up as he entered the common room. “That’s Janus, I’m guessing?”

“Yep.” Patton booped him again. “He’s a danger noodle now.” 

Janus hissed indignantly, obviously disliking the name, and Roman barked a laugh. “I’d say he’s more of a nope rope.”

Cat Virgil raised his head from his sleeping position on Roman’s lap to hiss at Janus, baring his little kitten fangs. Janus somehow smirked and blepped, smug. Patton squealed. “They’re both adorable!” 

Virgil hissed again. “Hey, no need to-“ Roman started. 

He was interrupted by a cursing Remus toppling down the stairs. “Shit!” The Duke exclaimed, tumbling to the ground. A black thing flapped its wings and flew up to the ceiling fan, squawking and glaring at Remus. 

“Oh, shut up.” Remus muttered. 

“I’m assuming that’s Logan.” Roman pointed to the raven perched on the ceiling fan. 

“Yep!” Remus grinned. 

Logan glared at him, cawing. Remus got up. “Glad to see my prank worked!” He grinned, flipping them all off. Janus and Virgil hissed in unison. 

Remus glared at Logan. “Don’t make me turn on the ceiling fan.” He snapped. Patton winced. Logan somehow rolled his eyes before flapping down to perch on Remus’s shoulder. 

“How did you get him to...” Roman trailed off. 

“Simple.” Remus smirked, holding up a jar of Crofter’s. He opened it and spread some on his finger, then held it out for Logan to somehow eat with his beak. 

“HELL YEA I’M A PIRATE NOW!” Remus screeched without warning, summoning his mace and grinning. “GIVE ME YOUR KNEECAPS, BITCHES!” 

“Lovely.” Roman muttered, pressing his fingers to his closed eyelids. Virgil meowed indignantly and nuzzled his head against Roman’s hand. Janus blepped and curled closer, brushing his head against Patton’s neck. 

A few minutes of silence later, Thomas appeared. “What the-“ 

“That’s Virgil, the snake is Janus, and the Raven is Logan. Remus turned them all into animals.”

“You bet your _ass_ I did!” Remus grinned, spoon-feeding Logan Crofter’s. 

“And will you change them back so we can film?” 

“No.” Remus smirked, licking Crofter’s off his fingers. 

“Great.” Thomas muttered, collapsing on the couch. He looked at Virgil. “He is very cute, though.” 

Virgil eyed him threateningly, meowing. Thomas reached out to stroke his cheek, but he nuzzled closer to Roman, not letting his host touch him. “Fourth wall must remain intact? Got it. You wanna watch a movie?” 

“Sure, kiddo!” Patton smiled, stroking Janus’s scales. 

“I removed my shirt just for this occasion!” Remus grinned. 

“Lovely.” Thomas muttered, adverting his eyes. 

**-Timeskip: an hour or so later-**

Patton smiled at Janus, booping him and looking at his cute blep. Virgil’s purring could be heard from across the room, and Logan stayed perched on Remus’s shoulder despite the fact that he was shirtless. 

But Remus got bored and snapped his fingers. 

Instantly, a full-grown snake boi fell into Patton’s lap, wincing and holding on to the moral side for stability. Virgil was in Roman’s lap, his legs wrapped around the passionate side’s torso, and Logan had fallen off of Remus’s shoulder and collapsed against his bare chest. 

A moment passed. “Well, this isn’t awkward at all.” Janus remarked. 

“Bo-ring! Just start making out already!” Remus called from across the room, throwing popcorn at them and ignoring the fact that a red-faced Logan was still collapsed against his naked torso. 

“Uno reverse card.” Virgil muttered, trying and failing to untangle his legs from Roman’s. 

Remus smirked. “If you insist.” Without warning, he yanked Logan closer by the tie and kissed him passionately. 

Roman facepalmed. “Not what I meant.”

Thomas groaned. “Get a room, lovebirds!” 

“Nice.” Patton remarked at Thomas’s pun. Remus sank him and Logan out, probably to do some... adult activities **(shut up I can’t write smut to save my** **life)**. 

Virgil was still in Roman’s lap, blushing hard. Roman smirked. “You’re still adorable.” 

“Shut up.” 

“Make me.”

If you’ve read any crappy romantic fanfiction, you know what happened next. Roman swept Virgil off his feet bridal-style and carried them to another room, where they presumably resumed making out. 

Janus was still in Patton’s lap, smirking. Patton felt his face grow warm. 

The snakelike side cupped his cheek. “Y’know, your lap is actually quite nice. Very warm.” He commented, leaning closer. 

Patton only nodded, flustered. He couldn’t think straight. When could he ever? At the moment, he was thinking just about as gay as humanly possible, with Janus’s lips inches from his. 

Even when he was in the dominant position, Janus made sure to ask consent. “This ok?” He whispered, leaning closer so his lips were millimeters from Patton’s. 

And Patton could only nod. He had waited so long for this moment, after months of pent-up feelings and dreaming and staring and waiting, and it was finally happening. 

Janus leaned in to connect their lips in a soft kiss. 

Patton reciprocated instantly, cupping Janus’s cheek. It was soft and slow and warm and loving and passionate all at once, months of pent-up feelings poured into the simple action of connecting one’s lips. Their lips moved in sync. A gloved hand carded slowly through Patton’s hair, another cupping his cheek. Patton pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. He reached up to stroke Janus’s scales, just like he had when the deceptive side had been a small snake curling around his shoulders and blepping in contentment. Yet another arm wrapped around Patton’s torso. He smiled into the kiss, leaning into Janus. 

After another minute or so, Janus slowly disconnected the kiss and rested his forehead on Patton’s, smiling softly. “I love you.” He breathed.

“Love you too.” Patton whispered, closing his eyes and leaning into his warmth. 

“Could be gayer.” Thomas commented, his eyes on the film. 

Patton rolled his eyes and pulled Janus in again.


	68. “...did you just PURR?” (Demus)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes Janus is touch starved again..... by this time it’s basically one of my headcanons. oof. 
> 
> Could be taken platonically or romantically. Yeet.
> 
> TW: Touch-starved lonely snek, almost a sexual innuendo from the trash man, God’s name used in vain, sarcasm, cute snek purr, non-consensual cuddling(should this even be a warning?), UNCENSORED cursing

  
  


The “light” sides weren’t as touchy as you’d think.

Janus had moved to their side of the mind about two months ago. Almost nothing had changed. Both Virgil and Roman were just as distant as before. Logan was maybe a little more welcoming to Janus’s contributions. He missed Remus, but only a little, because the intrusive side showed up in videos and everyday conversations regularly to add his gory input. Not to say that Janus didn’t like him. Far from it, actually. Due to all the time he had spent with him, he had grown sort of.... attached to the Duke. Actually, the only noticeable things that had changed when he moved were Patton’s attitude towards him and the location of his room.

He felt exactly the same as before... lonely. 

It had been years since Janus had been touched in a loving way. He craved affection. At this point he didn’t care if it was platonic or romantic. All he wanted was for someone to scoop them up in their arms and cuddle him close to their chest. Or to pull him into their lap and spoon him, burying their head into his hair. Or to let him lay his head on their lap and run their fingers through his hair. Or cup his cheek and kiss him softly, pulling him close. 

In all honesty(ha), Janus just wanted to be loved. 

But of course he didn’t take action or give in to his desires. He didn’t rest his head on Patton’s shoulder during movie nights. He didn’t cuddle close to Virgil as the anxious side sat on the counter next to him(both sides enjoyed sitting on surfaces that weren’t meant to be sat on, Virgil because he was too overwhelmed to worry about was and wasn’t a chair and Janus because he enjoyed the irritated glances that the other sides shot at him). He didn’t grip Remus’s hand and ask him to stay when Intrusive Thoughts popped out naked from behind the couch and attempted to send the conversation spiraling into chaos. He didn’t run a hand through Roman’s hair when Princey dramatically slid to the ground near where he was sitting and complained about his brother. He didn’t gently wrap an arm around Logan’s torso when the nerd sat next to him on the couch. 

No matter how much he wanted to be touched, to be cradled, to be _loved_ , Janus repressed his desires. 

It was a cool October day. At least, Janus wished it was. It was late in the month, almost Halloween, and yet there had been almost no noticeable change in the weather. _One of the many perks of living in Florida_ , he thought sarcastically. 

Currently, they were filming a video. Janus wasn’t needed at the moment. He sat on the ground, his back resting against the couch, closing his eyes and relaxing. No one was paying attention to him. Virgil, Patton, and Roman were all focused on their lines, and Logan was making sure everything was going well. Remus was nowhere to be seen.

That changed almost immediately. 

Janus opened his eyes when he felt the couch cushion he was resting his head on sink. On his left side, two legs were resting, clad in sparkly, hideously green and unnecessarily frilly leggings. _What the-_ Janus squeaked as Remus’s hands wrapped under his arms and pulled the snake boy into his lap.

It was the first time he had been touched in almost a year. 

Even through his clothes, the feel of Remus’s bare arms wrapping tightly around his torso sent a warm, shocking feeling throughout his whole body. It was electric. Fire spread through his veins, quick as lightning. Sparks leaped up his spine, vertebrae by vertebrae. Janus melted at the touch, a small, nearly silent whine rising in his throat. It felt so good to be cradled and held close and, well, _loved_.

Being the shortest side, it was easy for Remus to lift him up and pull him closer. He could sense the intrusive side’s smirk as he spooned him, even though he was facing away from him. The hat fell off of Janus’s head but he didn’t care, leaning back into Remus’s warmth, slowly curling up into a ball. _God_ , it was amazing, the feeling of being touched and hugged and held close for the first time in forever. 

“Oh, that feels absolutely _terrible_.” He murmured, slowly closing his eyes. “ _Completely_ revolting. Please stop.” 

He could feel Remus smirk against the back of his head. “Aww, I know you love it, Jan. Shut up or I’ll make you by stuffing my-“

“Anddd that’s enough of that.” Janus interjected softly, leaning backwards. “Just cuddle me, you disgusting trashy bastard man.” 

The snakelike side shivered as he felt one of Remus’s hands travel slowly up his chest before moving to his neck. He froze as he felt fingers stroke his cheek softly before slowly entering his curly hair. Janus leaned into the touch instinctively, curling closer to Remus and letting his eyes slip shut. The Duke’s hand carded through his locks slowly, the fingers gently playing with the curls. He could feel Remus’s lips pressing softly into the back of his head. The sensation was overwhelmingly warm, and it filled Janus with joy. 

A purr rumbled softly in his throat. Small, but definitely loud enough for Remus and even the other sides to hear. 

Janus stiffened, his eyes shooting open and his cheeks flushing as he realized what he had just done. The other sides froze, glancing at Janus. Remus’s hand stopped moving. “Jesus fucking Christ, Jan, did you just _purr_?”

The deceptive side stayed silent, too embarrassed to say anything. Inwardly, he cursed himself. _Why the hell did you_ purr _?_

“That...” Virgil trailed off, blinking as he took in the sight of Remus spooning Janus on the couch, cuddling him and carding a hand through his hair. Janus blushed more.

An agonizingly long ten seconds later, Logan spoke up. “I think we can all agree that that was undeniably adorable.”

“He speaks the truth.” Roman agreed.

“Mhm.” Patton confirmed.

“One hundred percent.” Thomas added. Virgil chorused an agreement. 

Janus blinked before hissing softly. “Ssssssssshut up.”

He could tell Remus had a huge grin splitting his face. “Never.”


	69. Chapter 69

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Food mention, insomnia, swearing
> 
> 69TH CHAPTER NICE

Janus sipped hot chamomile tea from his “Lie Lie Birdie” mug idly, sitting on the counter in soft flannel pajamas. The near-boiling tea almost burned his forked tongue. He relaxed, leaning backwards a little and closing his eyes, feeling the warmth from the decaf tea flow through him.

It was currently 2:57 AM.

It was a little sad to admit that this was normal for Janus. He had known that he was an insomniac for years now. To put it simply, it was nearly impossible for him to fall asleep. He didn’t know why... it had just always been that way, and he had grown accustomed to it by now. In fact, this early morning trip to the kitchen for a mug of hot tea had become routine. 

It was rare for him to get more than two hours of sleep per night. 

Janus sighed, letting his thoughts wander. It was odd, hearing the other sides and his host call him by his real name. For a while it had only been Remus who had known it, and even then the duke had preferred to use a lewd nickname related to the fact that snakes had a hemipenis instead of his name. Of course, Roman usually preferred to call him Deceit, and Virgil didn’t really talk to him that much. Logan would call him by his name, but he honestly didn’t interact with the snakelike side, or anybody, that much. 

However, hearing any side refer to him as Janus, especially Patton as he talked to him most frequently, was kind of surreal to him. It felt so weird to be talked to as a normal side, a friend, a part of the famILY, by the moral side. But somehow it also felt so... right.

“Janus? Is that you? Why are you still awake, kiddo?” A gentle voice cut through Janus’s train of thought. He glanced over to meet Patton’s eyes. 

Speak of the devil.

Janus shrugged, not really knowing how to answer, a small smile on his face. “Beautiful time of night.” 

Patton smiled softly. “Really? That’s the only reason?” 

“What can I say? Everything looks prettier when everyone else is asleep.” Janus responded dryly, smirking and sipping his tea. 

He was only a little surprised when Patton came over and pushed himself up to sit on the counter beside him.

“Janus. You’re mister self-care. Shouldn’t you know better than to stay up this late? I thought you would agree with Logan on the strict sleep schedule thing.” Patton murmured, tracing a pattern over Janus’s hand softly.

Janus shrugged. “Can’t agree with calculator watch on everything. Although I do appreciate a consistent schedule, often it’s... harder to fall asleep than to do other things.”

“You still need sleep, Jan.” Patton insisted, scooting closer. “You need to take care of yourself just as much as you take care of Thomas.”

“Thomas stays up till at least midnight on most nights.” Janus pointed out.

“...touché.” 

Janus sighed and leaned his head on Patton’s shoulder. “To tell you the truth... I’m an insomniac. This is just normal.” 

“Oh.” Patton stayed silent for a few seconds after that, just enjoying the warmth of the side beside him. 

“Yeah...” Janus murmured softly. He wasn’t thinking about how warm Patton was and how he just wanted to shift to sit on his lap and maybe press his lips to Patton’s forehead. Not at all. 

“At least try to get some rest?” Patton asked after a couple of minutes of silence.

“I’ve tried. It doesn’t usually work. And don’t say it’s because of the tea, I only drink decaf when it’s this late.” Janus responded, almost purring at the pleasant feeling of Patton’s hand on his but repressing his natural instincts. He vaguely wondered why he instinctively wanted to purr when he was part snake. ...Did snakes purr?

“Then I’ll stay with you, while you’re up.” Patton broke his train of thought with the declaration.

Janus shook his head. “I don’t need you to do that. This is my problem, and my problem alone.” 

“Then go to bed. At least lie down.” Patton insisted, smiling. “Janus, I care about you. I want you to at least try to sleep.” 

“...fine.” Janus muttered, slowly moving to get off the counter. 

“Thank you, Janus.” Patton smiled, not letting go of his hand and making sure to stay close as the snakelike side moved to put his empty mug in the sink. 

Janus hoped that it was too dark for Patton to notice his very obvious blush. 

When he turned around to leave the kitchen, however, Patton hasn’t been expecting the gesture. They ended up facing each other, holding hands, staring into each other’s eyes, lips mere millimeters apart.

Neither of them made a move to change their position. Janus just stared into Patton’s deep amber eyes through his glasses frames and blushed deeply when he realized how close together they were. Only a couple of inches and they would be kissing. 

Struggling to gather his thoughts beyond holy fuck he’s hot, Janus slowly brought his other hand to Patton’s cheek, cupping it and stroking it softly with his ungloved thumb. 

“Janus...” Patton trailed off, his eyes traveling to his lips. Not that Janus could blame him, he had been doing the same for a couple of minutes now. 

Slowly, they locked eyes. Janus nodded ever so slightly. 

The world around them slowed as their lips melded together in a soft kiss. 

Janus ran a hand slowly through Patton’s hair, pulling him ever so slightly closer. Patton smiled into the kiss, an arm wrapping around Janus’s torso. It wasn’t passionate or fiery or strong like those cheesy kisses and makeout sessions in teen romance novels. No, it was just a soft, beautiful first kiss, years upon years of repressed feelings poured out into the simple act of touching one’s lips to another.

Nevertheless, Janus did feel sparks traveling through his body, in some sense of the word. 

He shivered softly as Patton trailed a hand up to his face to stroke the sensitive scales on his cheek. They were pressed against each other now, more embracing than kissing, just softly showering each other with love. 

And that was what it was, wasn’t it? The odd fluttering in Janus’s chest whenever he thought about Patton. The warm feeling that filled him whenever he saw him. The strange warmth in his face whenever they touched. The joy that he felt when he heard Patton’s voice. The smile that he repressed when he heard him laugh.

Janus could only tell the truth when they broke apart, grinning softly. “I love you.” He breathed, staring into those beautiful eyes and leaning into the warm embrace that he had been enjoying these past few minutes. 

Patton had a huge smile splitting his face. “I love you too.”

BONUS:

Janus blinked open his eyes, feeling oddly well-rested for the first time in... well, forever. The first thing he noticed was that it was around 2 pm.

The second thing he noticed were the arms wrapping around his torso and the warm head nuzzled into the crook of his neck. Janus smiled when he realized that Patton was spooning him, and he leaned back into the touch. 

“You awake, Jan?” Patton’s melodic voice carried through the room. 

“Yeah.” Janus murmured, turning over to face Patton. He grinned as Patton kissed his nose softly. 

“You wanna get some food?” Patton murmured. 

“Sure.” Janus smiled, curling up in his arms and cuddling into his chest. 

And if Janus and Patton walked downstairs holding hands and maybe kissed a couple of times, no one questioned it except for Roman, who shouted, “Get a room, lovebirds!” 

Janus may or may not have flipped him off.


	70. Minecraft Beds(Sleepceit)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Definitely not inspired by that one DreamNotFound moment when George asks Dream to put his Minecraft bed next to his 
> 
> Human AU
> 
> this is basically a meme. Yeet. And yes there’s a LOT of Minecraft. Written by someone who may or may not have just spent three hours watching Smallishbeans stream instead of doing math like they were supposed to. 
> 
> TW: Drinking(juice boxes), swearing, God’s name used in vain, Janus is a bean, bad writing. Oh and a sexual innuendo from yours truly. I’m not sorry

. 

Janus pulled the beanie hat onto his head, yanking his jacket tighter around himself. It wasn’t normal for an eight year old to be this self-conscious, but then again Janus wasn’t really a normal eight year old. He had been born with Vitiligo, and the entire left side of his face was an ashy grey color. Plus he had heterochromatic eyes, his right a deep brown and his left a piercing neon almost-yellow green. These differences had always set him apart from everyone else. 

But today those differences met nothing, because he was having a sleepover with his best friend.

Remy was slurping a Capri Sun, watching the TV screen intently. He also had a lollipop in his mouth. Janus didn’t really get why he simultaneously sucked two things at once(I can already visualize the comments, my fellow dirty minded heathens. I’m not sorry. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).), but he vibed with it. His black leather jacket was carelessly hanging off his arms, and Janus could see his bare upper arms. His sunglasses were sliding off his nose, and he had a crooked smile on his face as he expertly handled the controller.

Was it weird that Janus thought that he was really pretty? 

He shook the thought off. It was weird to think like that about another boy, right? Didn’t boys usually love girls? 

Remy grinned and handed Janus an Xbox controller. “You’ve played Minecraft before, right?” 

“Yeah.” Janus’s older brother Virgil had a PS4, and he let him play Minecraft from time to time. 

“Sweet.” Remy smirked, starting a new survival world and naming it “J+R“. Janus felt his face flush but he blamed the heat and brushed it off. 

“You wanna go get some wood?” Remy asked, digging straight down despite the fact that you should never dig straight down and that he didn’t even have a pickaxe. 

“Sure.” Janus nodded, guiding his character to a nearby tree trunk and forcing him to punch the log with bare hands until it yielded its fruits, or in this case wood. He quickly made a crafting table and handed Remy a pickaxe so that he could continue mining straight down.

“You might fall into lava...” Janus warned him. 

Remy smirked. “Only cowards think that mining straight down is risky. Best way to diamonds!”

“You only have a wooden pickaxe.”

“I pride myself on defying any and all social norms.”

“Well, society is a lie, so do whatever you want.” 

“Could you yeet me some sticks?”

Miraculously, Remy got to bedrock level without dying. Plus he got some iron. 

“How are you going to get back up?” Janus asked. 

Remy slurped his Capri sun. “I have my ways.”

While Remy mined away underground, Janus found some iron and made some shears. He refused to kill sheep for wool, as he did not believe in animal cruelty, so he was forced to shear them in order to make beds. Remy had somehow made his way back to the surface, and he smelted iron while Janus built them a little wooden hut, just big enough for a couple of chests and two beds. 

As night fell in the background, Remy placed a couple of torches and put down his bed in a corner. Janus could have put his bed on the other side of the hut. But instead he placed it right next to Remy’s, the bright yellow clashing spectacularly with the deep red. 

“Damn.” Remy commented, smirking slightly and downing another juice pouch. Janus’s eyes widened. A few seconds later, Remy glanced at Janus. “Don’t tell Mom I said that.” 

Janus grinned. “I won’t.”

It soon became tradition. Whenever the pair would play Minecraft, no matter how big the house they had constructed was, how tall the ceilings were, how many floors it had, they would always share one bedroom, their Minecraft beds pressed against each other, always the same contrasting red and yellow, yellow and red. Even when they were ten and Remy had made other friends, normal friends. Even when Janus moved to another town, an hour or so away. Even when they were both eleven and Janus noticed a bisexual flag tacked on Remy’s wall. Even when they were fourteen and Remy had a girlfriend. Even when Janus found out that his heterochromatic orbs were the only hetero thing about him. Even when Janus realized that he was actually a they, and pinned a demiboy pride pin to their shirt. Even when they were sixteen and they could drive to each other’s houses whenever they wanted. Even when they were seventeen and Remy’s girlfriend broke up with him. Even when they were nineteen and Janus went to an art school across the country to pursue their passion. 

Whether it was on a pc, chatting over discord, multiplayer servers, or even that same old Xbox where the original survival world was, there was always one room with two beds next to each other, defiant and strong, bright colors shining against the boring tan color of wood or pearly white of quartz or smooth grey of stone. 

Janus smiled, their hands on the steering wheel, impatient. Mindlessly their hand twisted the golden band on his ring finger. They were going to see their fiancé for the first time in months. Jesus, it had been forever. 

They missed the feeling of their hands carding through Remy’s hair, his musical laugh ringing in his ears, the telltale taste of his iced coffee on their tongue, the way that he would thread his arms around their torso and hug him from behind as they swayed mindlessly, dancing around the kitchen at ungodly hours of the morning. 

Their train of thought was expertly cut off as they pulled into the driveway, the soft crunch of the tires grinding against asphalt going unnoticed. Janus put the car in park and locked it behind them, sliding the car keys into their front pocket. 

They didn’t even have to open the front door before Remy was pulling him into a messy, passionate kiss, lips and limbs moving to grasp hold of their lover. Janus let out a surprised squeak, their hands quickly moving to scoop Remy up and let him wrap his legs around their waist. “Fucking sap.” They teased, grinning against his mouth. 

“Shut up, you know you love me.” Remy’s reply was muffled because he had chosen to bury his head in the crook of Janus’s neck. Janus pressed countless kisses into Remy’s soft locks, ignoring the fact that his sunglasses were pressed almost painfully into their skin. His leather jacket had fallen to the ground but neither of them cared, caught in the heat of the moment as Remy leaned up to press a long, passionate, messy kiss to Janus’s lips. Janus granted him passage. 

After a couple of minutes of passionate kissing, Janus broke away. Remy whined softly and Janus rolled their eyes. “I’m sure our neighbors would absolutely love to see us making out on the driveway again.” 

“They got a four month break, they should have been expecting it. Plus, Karen doesn’t have to watch us if she doesn’t want to.”

“She’s probably puked at least twice since we started making out.”

“The homophobic bitch deserves it.”

“...Touché.”

Nevertheless, they moved to the couch, exploring each other’s mouths and bodies. Janus kissed a trail up Remy’s neck. 

“I was cleaning out the closet yesterday, and I found something.” Remy murmured, leaning into the loving touches he was receiving. 

“Damn. You actually cleaned something?”

“I was looking for my gay coffee thermos. But I found something even better.”

Janus blinked. “Something better than a gay coffee cup?”

Remy smirked and gestured to the floor near the tv. Janus’s grin spread wide across their face as they looked at the old Xbox console. “Oh hell yes.”

“You like it?” 

“This is why you’re my fiancé.”

“Not because you were too chicken to propose and it took Virgil almost a year to convince me to do it for you?” 

“Shut up.” Janus turned on the tv and booted up the Xbox, marveling at the satisfying whirring sounds of the old technology. They handed Remy a controller and watched as he selected Minecraft. It was the same thing they had done all those years ago. 

Janus hadn’t known it when they were eight, but even back then they had been completely and utterly in love with Remy. God, they had fallen hard. 

Remy’s musical laugh filled the room as he explored the boxlike mansion they had made entirely out of diamond blocks(in creative mode, of course). “God, we had no sense of style.”

“Except the beds.”

“Except the beds.” Remy agreed, kissing Janus on the nose and pulling them into his lap. Janus grinned and leaned into him as they examined the world that they had spent hours on when they were only kids, occasionally pausing to kiss. And of course they slept in the beds, flush with each other. 

There was no denying it. They were unabashedly, madly, completely in love.


	71. Quiet Moments: Moceit Drabbles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> requested by Unnus Annus says HAPPY PRIDE on Quotev
> 
> I’m gonna write a few scenarios with Moceit. Super fluffy.   
> I know I can’t explain things well just read it XD  
> They’re all in Janus’s POV because I can write him better lol
> 
> TW: A little blood(papercut), swearing

•Reading Together•

At first, Janus thought it odd that Patton wanted to be read aloud to. The moral side was the ‘dad’ after all, the figurative father figure of all the sides. But Janus quickly realized that although Patton said he was the parent, he actually represented more of an inner child. And after a pretty stressful day for Thomas, where Patton had to make a couple of hard decisions, Janus relented.

He was sitting on the couch in Patton’s room, a copy of ‘Where the Sidewalk Ends’ by Shel Silverstein in his ungloved hands. The moral side was curled up and leaning into him, looking at the pictures. Janus normally wouldn’t read fantasy or fictional books, but he had an appreciation for poetry and thought that Patton might like some of the more childish aspects of the book in front of him. The words slipped from his mouth easily. 

‘There is a place where the sidewalk ends

And before the street begins,

And there the grass grows soft and white,

And there the sun burns crimson bright,

And there the moon-bird rests from his flight 

To cool in the peppermint wind. 

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black

And the dark street winds and bends.

Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow

We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,

And watch where the chalk-white arrows go

To the place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes we’ll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,

And we’ll go where the chalk-white arrows go.

For the children, they mark, and the children, they know

The place where the sidewalk ends.”

The poem was beautiful, really. Full of intricate imagery and clever rhyming, with a deep message behind it. Janus turned the page, smiling softly to himself and began to read another. 

Patton had fallen asleep on his shoulder, one of his arms around the deceptive side’s torso. Once Janus realized this, he froze. Well shit.

Obviously he couldn’t move, or else risk waking Patton up. The moral side was sleeping so peacefully that it was absurd to even imagine disturbing his slumber. 

Janus had never really realized how cute Patton was when he slept, his hair falling carelessly over his closed eyes and his lips slightly open to breathe. His head was resting on Janus’s shoulder and Janus subconsciously snuggled closer, leaning into the warmth. Slowly, he wrapped an arm around Patton’s torso and smiled softly. He could get used to this. 

Thirty minutes later, Remus came in and draped a blanket around the pair, smirking and snapping pictures for blackmail. 

•Kissing Scars to Heal Them•

“Shit!” Janus hissed, flinching backwards in pain and looking at his finger. He had decided not to wear his gloves. After all, he was just relaxing and helping Patton organize some binders from when Thomas was in elementary school. That had been a mistake, and now Janus had a shiny bead of crimson blood rolling down his finger. He glared at the sheet of paper that had wounded him. Ironically, it was from a child’s educational picture book titled, “Happy and healthy!”, with a little kid holding a box of band-aids and smiling up at Janus imprinted on the cover 

“What happened?” Patton appeared behind him, dropping a couple of Manila folders. 

“Nothing bad, really. Just a paper cut.” Janus muttered. “I’ll go clean it up.”

“I’ll do it for you, Janus. Don’t want you getting another cut or anything when getting the band-aids!” Patton said, looking at Janus, a little concerned. 

Janus sighed. It seemed that Patton also had a dad mode™️. “No, I’m fine, really. I can take care of myself.”

“Janus.” Patton shot him a reprimanding glare. “Let me bandage your cut.”

Janus knew that there was no refusing Patton when he was this protective. He sighed. “Fine.”

Patton smiled and summoned some gauze and a box of Mickey Mouse band-aids. Janus rolled his eyes but let a small smile cross his face. Patton carefully cleaned up the blood on his finger and wrapped a band-aid around it. 

“Thanks...” Janus murmured. He had underestimated how close Patton would have to get, and now he was a blushing mess of a snake boy.

Patton smiled. “I’m not done yet.”

Suddenly Janus’s hand was being raised toward’s Patton’s mouth. He flushed even more as the moral side presses his lips to the band-aid on his finger.

“...what was that?” He stuttered.

Patton smirked. “I kissed it better.”

Janus was as red as a solanum lycopersicum. After a few minutes, he worked up the courage to say something momentous.

“Hey, uh, actually my lips are a little chapped and they hurt a lot...”

Patton smiled at Janus’s bright red face. He closed his eyes and their lips melded together in a soft first kiss. 

•Finding their Partner Wearing Their Clothes•

Janus was curled up on his bed, relaxing in the warm sunlight, wrapped in a light grey hoodie. The sunlight felt heavenly on his scales, and he blepped, closing his eyes. The hoodie he was wearing smelled like Patton, and he subconsciously nuzzled into the fabric. He basked in the sunlight, growing more tired by the second.

“Hey, Jan, have you seen my... awww!” Patton squealed. “Hun, did you steal my cat hoodie?”

“No. I would never.” Janus mumbled.

“You’re adorable.”

The snakelike side sat up, defiant. “No m’ not. M’ terrifying. The spawn of darkness. You should fear me.”

“Whatever you say, Jan.” Patton smiled, walking up to him and kissing his forehead. Instantly Janus pulled his boyfriend down into the bed with him, connecting their lips in a kiss. Patton reciprocated instantly, cupping Janus’s scaled cheek. Janus pulled him closer, wrapping an arm around his waist. 

Patton disconnected their lips and met his eyes, grinning. “Adorable.” Ignoring Janus’s defiant murmurs, he cuddled his boyfriend into his chest and held him close.


	72. Clingy(Intrulogical)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Coronavirus mention, swearing, God's name used in vain, bad writing

Logan was working hard, sipping black coffee out of a thermos and annotating and grading several essays all at once. He had to finish these before tonight, and tomorrow he had a couple of virtual meetings as well as several assignments to send to his students. He worked as a high school teacher, and the COVID-19 outbreak had only made his job harder, not only because of his old computer and slow WiFi, but also because of a very clingy significant other that happened to be stuck at his house with him.

"Loooooooooo!" A whiny voice echoed through the house.

Logan rolled his eyes and ignored him, adding a couple of notes on a student's paper. A bad decision on his part. When Remus was lonely and in need of attention, he was going to get that attention, no matter what it took.

He really shouldn't have been surprised when Remus slammed open the door so hard the white-stained oak almost cracked and ran over to him, scooping him up bridal-style and dropping him on the bed. A small squeak escaped his lips. "Re-"

Remus tackled him to the bed, hugging him and cuddling him close to his chest. "M' lonely."

Logan sighed. "Mus', I have to work..."

"It's the weekenddddddddd."

Logan tried to escape his fiancé's death grip, but as he had expected, his efforts bore no figurative fruit. "Remus."

"Yeah?" He nuzzled into the back of Logan's head, kissing his hair.

"I have to grade these essays, Re..."

"Fuck essays. I want cuddles."

"..fine." Logan caved easier than he'd like to admit, but who wouldn't with Remus spooning them and showering them in love? He reluctantly sunk back into Remus's embrace, sighing.

Remus smirked and pulled him closer, kissing the back of his neck. His hot breath stirred Logan's hair, and his hands intertwined with Logan's. He closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth with a small smile and twisting the golden band on his soon-to-be husband's finger.

He didn't say it out loud very much, but he loved Remus. So, so much. More than life itself. God, he was perfect. It didn't matter to him that he was clingy as fuck and sometimes hard to deal with. The truth was, he had been overworking himself lately. Remus always knew exactly how to get him to unwind.

"I love you, Lo." Remus murmured into the skin of his neck.

Logan let a rare smile cross his face. "I love you too."


	73. Bright Yellow Pen(Anxceit, background Royality)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU where whatever you write on your arm shows up on your soulmate's
> 
> Requested by My name is Janus the Gay Snek on Quotev
> 
> I need to write this ship more, it's so fricking cUTE
> 
> sorry it's so short.... im not really proud of this one but i felt like i needed to write something for you guys
> 
> TW: Swearing, Soulmates i guess? Bad writing

Virgil blinked open his eyes, golden sunlight streaming through his window. His eyes widened when he realized that it was already 9 am. "Shit!" He swore, jumping out of bed. Quickly he took a shower and brushed his teeth, taking a few seconds to comb and dry his hair and apply eyeshadow. Out of habit, his fingers brushed across the neon yellow words scrawled across his forearms and he smiled, grabbing his purple pen. Good morning, he scrawled on his wrist.

Mere seconds later a familiar tingling sensation spread from his palm to the of his body as yellow words wrote themselves on his hand. Time is a social construct.

Virgil shook his head slightly, smiling as he slung his backpack over his shoulder. Typical Janus. He made sure his laptop was charged and walked out of his apartment, checking his phone.

Dad<3: 

Emo: 

Dad<3: 

Dad<3: 

Emo: 

Dad<3: 

Emo: ...

Dad<3: __

_Emo:_

_Virgil turned off his phone and started the car, triple-checking to make sure that the coast was clear before carefully pulling out into the street. As he drove, he snuck glances at his phone from time to time, examining the things that he had to do. He was a college student majoring in writing, and for extra money he wrote reports and exams for other students. He would have to finish a ten-page paper on the effects of global warming before noon. Shouldn't be too hard, he reasoned._

_He pulled into a parking spot and walked into the café, picking an inconspicuous table in the corner. Quickly he ordered a large black coffee and sat down, setting up his laptop. Getting lost in the task of typing and annotating, Virgil quickly lost track of time. He finished the essay about half an hour before he needed to and quickly forwarded it to his customer. An extra thirty dollars. He thought with satisfaction, finishing his coffee. Knowing that Patton and Roman would be there in only a couple of minutes, he traced his fingers gently over the countless messages that him and Janus had written back and forth over the years. The tiny, How are you's scrawled in Janus's messy handwriting, and his semi-neat replies in purple pen, fine or good or sometimes shitty. The soothing replies in that familiar yellow pen he knew so well. The tiny hearts._

_He had never met Janus, they never brought it up and Virgil was too scared to ask them. They hadn't exchanged phone numbers or anything, writing on his skin was far more practical... and Virgil was, well, anxious. Anxious that if Janus saw his face, he would be disappointed. Disgusted, even. That he would abandon Virgil for being ugly, worthless, not enough._

_The ding of the door swinging open jolted Virgil out of his thoughts. Patton saw him and smiled, walking over. "Hey kiddo!"_

_"Hi, Pat." Virgil smiled softly, hugging him._

_"So. What's up?" Patton grinned._

_Virgil smiled. "Nothing much. Just working on an essay."_

_Roman came over, squeezing Patton's hand and shooting Virgil a smile. "That table." He gestured to a table with only a single occupant and some drinks._

_Patton smiled and helped Virgil gather up his stuff before following Roman to sit at the table with him. Virgil joined him, shooting a small glance at the other occupant. They were wearing a black beanie and a yellow sweater, and the entire left side of their face was an ashy grey. Virgil recognized it as Vitiligo, a skin condition that his uncle had. He quickly looked away so as to make sure he wasn't staring._

_"I assume you know about Janus?"_

_Virgil's gaze shot upwards, his eyes wide. "What?!"_

_"Roman's cousin." Patton explained, smiling softly and gesturing . "Virgil, this is Roman's cousin Janus. Janus, Virgil."_

_Janus's head shot up faster than lightning, his eyes widening. He turned to meet Virgil's eyes. "Holy shit."_

_Virgil blinked._

_There was only one thing to do. Slowly, he grabbed the purple pen he always kept in his pocket and drew a small heart on the back of his hand._

_He looked up to see Janus holding up his hand to show a purple heart._

_It was only logical then that their lips would meld together in a soft, perfect first kiss, hands going to cup cheeks and frame faces and card through locks of hair, lips moving in sync in a slow dance, hearts pulsing and beating as one. They were connected, after all, intertwined by fate, destined for each other. They fit like two pieces of a puzzle, hands going to hips, lips fitting together like they were made for each other. And they were. And God, Virgil had waited so, so long for this moment, waiting and wondering and imagining and dreaming and anticipating, all leading up to this day, this moment._

_Slowly, regretfully, their lips disconnected. Virgil looked at Janus breathlessly, smiling._

_"God, you're hot." Janus whispered, cupping his cheek._

_Virgil flushed. "Shut up."_

_Janus smirked. "Hell no."_

_And their lips met once more for good measure, smiling softly and pulling each other closer, holding each other in a tight embrace._

_The moment was broken by Roman whistling. "Damn."_

_"Shut up." Janus and Virgil hissed at the same time._

_crappy ending but whatever._


	74. Movie Night(Intruloceit)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry I haven’t updated in forever... but I do have an excuse. Not a very good one, but an excuse nonetheless
> 
> wRITERS BLOCK IS A BITCH. 
> 
> thank you for coming to my TED talk. 
> 
> TW: swearing, Remus, sexual innuendo because Remus, kind of unsympathetic ‘light’ side mention(blink and you’ll miss it, it’s literally half a sentence), bad writing.

Logan walked through the halls of the mind palace, sipping on his black coffee. He was carrying a couple of stacks of blank paper, as well as his planner with detailed schedules of Thomas’s plans for the future. He slid the paper into Roman’s room for the creative side to jot his ideas on and sighed.

In all honesty, it was too late at night to be working. 

It was 10:30 pm on a Saturday night. If he didn’t stop working soon, both Patton and Janus would chastise him about his sleep schedule. But he couldn’t stop... not now. He had momentum, and he couldn’t waste it. Logan finished his coffee and summoned another one, walking towards his room. 

A sticky ungloved hand grabbed Logan by his tie and yanked him into Janus’s room instead.

Logan squeaked as he dropped his coffee, spilling the bean juice all over the snakelike side’s plush yellow carpet. He stumbled and nearly fell to the floor but instead landed in a pair of arms. 

A beat. 

“...ow. What the fuck just happened?” Logan asked, blinking his droopy eyes. 

“Didn’t you say that 10:30 is too late to be working?” A smooth voice answered. The gloved hands that had saved him from tumbling to the floor pulled him gently to a couch. Logan heard the snap of Remus’s fingers and watched the coffee stain on the carpet vanish. 

Logan sighed, exasperated. “I have to finish this.” 

“Lie.” Janus raised an eyebrow. The logical side looked into his eyes, one a deep brown and the other molten gold.

Remus barreled towards them and leaped onto the couch, landing sprawled across their laps with an oomph. Somehow this ruined the moment, especially since his shirt had been lost somewhere along the way. ”Did you know that when you cry it’s your eyes peeing?”

Janus rolled his eyes, a somewhat fond smile appearing on his face for a split second. “‘Mus, we’ve talked about this. I’ll only cuddle you if you’re wearing a full set of clothes.“

Remus paused for a second, seemingly thinking. That was never a good sign. “Damn it. Do you wanna fuck instead?”

“Hmm. Maybe later.” Janus dismissed the question easily, handing Remus a baggy Gryffindor t-shirt(Remus is a Gryffindor and you can pry that opinion from my cold dead hands). Surprisingly, the Intrusive side pulled it on.

Logan watched their casual exchange curiously. He had assumed that Remus and Janus weren’t very close, but it looked like he had been dead wrong. He blinked. He was getting distracted again. He had to work. “May I leave?”

“Oh, definitely. Staying up till 11 organizing information Thomas won’t need for months is obviously the healthiest thing you can do at the moment.” Janus drawled sarcastically.

“Double Dee is right!” Remus added, sitting up and bouncing a little, halfway on Logan’s lap and halfway on Janus’s. “You need to take a break. Jan, I think we need to give our shmexy sorcerer a self-care night.” 

Janus rolled his eyes at the nickname but nodded. “Lo, you need to take care of yourself. Your mental and physical health is more important than a filming schedule for a video 6 months in the future.”

“But-“

“No buts.” Janus cut him off. 

“Awww, why not?” Remus complained. 

Logan sighed, sinking backwards into the couch cushions and accepting the fact that he wasn’t going to leave anytime soon. 

Janus pulled Remus into his lap, summoning the remote. “Anything in particular you want to watch?”

Logan blinked. The ‘light’ sides didn’t usually ask his opinion on this sort of thing. “Not really.” 

“OOH! OOH! What about a dolphin porno!”

Janus ignored Remus’s messy input and turned on Big Hero 6. Logan wondered for a fleeting moment how Janus knew his favorite Disney movie before relaxing. The snakelike side was leaning into his shoulder and cuddling close, one arm wrapped around the logical side and two more holding Remus steady in his lap. A blanket had been summoned and draped over the pair. 

In all honesty... this was somehow better than movie nights with the ‘light’ sides. Logan could get used to this.


	75. Giant Frog(Moceit)

Janus couldn't sleep. 

It was one of those nights where he couldn't quiet his thoughts enough to doze off. He was laying on his bed, thinking. Every once in a while his eyes fluttered shut, but he had given up on sleep at this point. 

Was it sad to admit that this happened almost weekly at this point? 

His life had become so confusing lately, what with Thomas accepting him(to an extent), Patton comforting him, Roman glaring at him from across the room, Virgil avoiding him, and Logan ignoring him. Everything was different. Suddenly he didn't have to sneak around or hide in a corner. He wasn't... invisible anymore. 

Leave it to him to slip a musical pun into his 3 am thoughts. 

The more he contemplated his current situation, the more it seemed.. off, somehow. Janus blinked, hopping out of his bed. 

He somehow found himself knocking on Patton's door. "Pat?" He asked softly. 

Nothing answered him. 

He knocked again, well aware that he could just be sleeping like any sane person would be at 3 am. But still, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. Out of balance. 

Carefully he opened the door. His eyes widened. 

Curled up on the floor of the moral side's once-organized room, hiccuping and crying softly, was a huge green frog, blue shirt ripped once more, grey cardigan loose around his shoulders, still-tiny glasses strewn onto the floor. It seemed that Patton's feelings were even more intense than Janus had previously thought. 

Janus closed the door behind him and cautiously walked up to Lilypadton, carefully avoiding the countless binders and papers and folders littering the floor. He didn't summon his cane, not yet. Patton wasn't a threat in this state... no, he was vulnerable, his feelings completely out on the open. 

Janus crouched in front of Patton's trembling figure. "Patton? Are you ok?"

Patton's eyes widened when he saw Janus, but he could do no more than sob softly, curling in on himself. When he finally spoke, his voice was distorted. "I'm fine, kiddo..." 

Janus could almost smell the lie. It was bitter, weaving and wafting through the room like cigarette smoke. "Lie." He murmured. 

Patton's tears were huge, rolling down his shiny green cheeks. Janus reached out to brush one away. Even though he was about as tall as one of Patton's long fingers, he caressed his cheek, concern shining through his eyes. After an eternity of silence, he spoke. 

"...it's ok to express your feelings, Patton. It's ok to feel. I know things have been... confusing, lately, but that doesn't make your emotions any less valid." He could feel Patton shaking under his touch, starting to shrink. "You are allowed to feel. No one will blame you." 

While Patton's voice was still shaky and distorted, he was a lot more stable than he was just a minute ago. "J-Jay?" 

Janus smiled softly at the nickname. "You did the right thing." 

Patton started glitching again, his body convulsing slightly as he shrunk back down to his normal size. His skin was no longer green, and his glasses once again fit his face. 

Janus wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close into a hug. He let Patton sob into his chest, carding one of his many hands through his hair. "It's ok. Let it all out, Pat." 

The moral side sniffled, cuddling closer and burying his head in Janus's chest. "Th-thanks, kiddo."

Janus let a small smile cross his face. Everything would be ok.


	76. Untouchable(DLAMP)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Swearing, God’s name used in vain, aromantic!remus, polyamorous relationships, maybe a little bit of implied smut, Remus, crying(both good and bad), bad writing 
> 
> I was gonna write a little drabble and it turned into a 3,000 word monster lmao
> 
> and this is unedited but whatever

To put it simply, Janus was screwed. 

Maybe it was his fault that he didn’t realize how he felt about Virgil until it was too late and his jacket was splotched with purple. Maybe it was his fault that he was too scared to talk to Logan, so he shoved him to the back of the courtroom. Maybe it was his fault for impersonating Patton and throwing any chance of the moral side trusting him right into the trash can. Maybe it was his fault for lashing out at Roman in that way, going so far as to compare him to his brother. 

But his feelings didn’t change. When did they ever? He still laid awake in bed, imagining how Patton’s lips would feel on his, how his body would feel on Roman’s, how his hand would slot into Logan’s, how Virgil’s arms would wrap around him. How warm and safe and _loved_ he would feel. 

But, he would never stand a chance with any of the “light” sides. He was a snake. Dishonest, untrustworthy, selfish. Why would any of them trust, let alone _love_ , him, with the shiny scales speckling his skin and his forked tongue and his mismatched gaze and his many arms and his manipulative tendencies? 

No, it would be better for everyone if he was alone. Close enough to observe, but not to feel. Never to feel. 

Patton couldn’t help but to scratch the bug bites on his arms. Logan collected rocks and fossils. Roman scrunched his nose when he was concentrating hard. Virgil tapped his feet and fidgeted with the strings on his hoodie when he was feeling nervous. Patton had a dimple on his cheek. Logan had a special blanket he couldn’t sleep without. Roman had a collection of stress balls to squeeze when he was having a bout of creative block. Virgil played ukulele, although he would deny it when asked. 

Janus found himself hoarding these bits of knowledge like memories he couldn’t bear to let go of, like bits and pieces of _himself_ , in a way. No, he wasn’t in love. He was just.... observant. Yeah. 

(“Keep telling yourself that, Jan.” Remus smirked when the snake told him about how he thought of the light sides. Janus still didn’t know what the Duke had meant.)

It only got harder when Roman came up to Janus and confessed that he was in love with Logan. And Virgil. And Patton. 

Janus blinked before composing himself, smirking and drenching his words in sticky sarcasm. “Wow. What an astounding realization. Congratulations on being the last one to know.” 

Cue the sputtering, flustered, red-faced prince. He playfully smacked Janus. “Well, I had to be sure before I told you, ya know?”

“Not obvious at all.” Janus deadpanned. 

“Shut up.” 

His words softened into the truth and he patted the spot next to him on the couch, letting Roman settle into the cushions next to him. He debated whether to take his hand but decided against it, knowing it would just ruin the heartfelt moment. Still, his face was unusually warm.

Roman sighed. “...I don’t know what to do, Jay.”

Janus blinked. “God, you’re even stupider than I thought.”

“Fuck off.”

Janus rolled his eyes, maybe kind of sort of eyeing Roman’s lips. “Ro, they obviously love you back. At least Logan does, and I’m placing my bets on Virgil and Patton. You’re so fucking oblivious.”

Roman flushed red. “...you think they do?”

“Trust me,” Janus was speaking the complete and utter truth. “only a complete idiot wouldn’t fall for you, Roman.” 

“...thanks, Jay.”

Both sides were blushing. Before he knew what he was doing, Janus reached out and gave Roman’s hand a small, reassuring squeeze with his ungloved fingers. A tiny smile flirted with the corner of his mouth.

The moment was ruined by Remus retching in a corner. “Is that romance I smell? Get that shit out of here, or just start fucking. I’m allergic to it.”

Janus rolled his eyes. “You’re not allergic, just aromantic.”

“Then why do I have a rash on my ass? Wanna see?”

“Probably because you sleep in the buff, in a dumpster. And I’d rather not.” Roman muttered, wisely looking away. 

Remus squinted his eyes, as if he was thinking. That was never a good sign. 

Janus sunk them both out before they were scarred for life. 

**~oh look a timeskip~**

It was only a week later when Janus walked into the common room and saw Roman and Logan making out on the couch. He decided not to comment on it, instead backing out and walking down the hallway. 

And then two hours later he caught a glimpse of the kitchen. More specifically, Virgil gently kissing Patton and showering him with love. 

Oh, and the next day when he listened behind closed doors as the four of them gathered in Logan’s room. Rushed confessions were made before there was mostly silence. Janus assumed they were heatedly making out and decided to leave before... _different_ noises surfaced. 

And now he was curled up in his bed, thinking. 

Of course he was happy for the four. Why wouldn’t he be? They deserved each other. 

He grabbed a pen. Something to fiddle with as his thoughts raced. 

_Click click click tap tap tap_

Roman’s flashy smile, glowing passionately, shining almost as bright as the prince himself. 

_Tap tap tap click click click_

Virgil’s laugh, ringing through the mindscape like so many songs, a pure melody weaving and twirling through the air.

_Click tap click tap click_

Logan’s genuine smile, so rare yet so beautiful, his mouth curling upwards as he stifled a snort. 

_Tap tap click tap tap click_

Patton’s musical giggle, bubbling up inside his chest, filled with so much joy it was nearly contagious. 

_Click click click tap tap SNAP_

Janus’s fist clenched and he threw the pen at his bedroom wall, watching it break in half. The blooming inkstain on his gloves. The small chip in his wallpaper. The minuscule plastic capsule, cracked and broken on the floor. The tears running down his cheeks. 

He had no reason to cry. He didn’t deserve them. 

But his stupid selfish brain wanted them all the same. 

**~What’s this? A POV change? Damn~**

Roman loved his boyfriends. Why wouldn’t he? They were wonderful, Patton’s bubbly laugh and Virgil’s sleeping figure and Logan’s rare smile. 

But he couldn’t help but feel like something was missing. 

He didn’t know what. At first he just blamed it on him being selfish. He had three amazing boyfriends who he loved more than himself, exchanging soft words and kisses and smiles whenever he felt like it. 

_Selfish_. 

Something, no, some _one_ he had tried so repress and fight and ignore but just couldn’t. 

Because Janus was a part of Thomas that was needed. Like it or not, he was a part of this group. This famILY. 

And surprisingly, Roman had grown attached to him. Had even trusted him enough to go to him with personal information. 

His eyes widened when he realized that he wanted to interact with Deceit more. Wanted to hug him and hold him and run his fingers through his fluffy curls. Wanted to pull him into his lap and kiss him deeply, gripping tightly to his shirt. 

After that realization, there was no doubt about it. 

...he was in love with Janus.

Him and his boyfriends had agreed that since they were in a polyamorous relationship, communication was needed. They would all consider each other’s feelings.

But Roman wasn’t sure how they would react to this. 

And so he bit his tongue and repressed his feelings. For weeks he waited and watched Janus in silence. He went on dates with his boyfriends and laughed and smiled and kissed them and enjoyed their company. 

But he loved Janus all the same. And his feelings were only growing stronger. 

**~oh look another POV change~**

Virgil grumbled in frustration, his hands curling into fists. 

It just didn’t make _sense_ , the way he felt all warm and fuzzy around him. The feelings conflicting strongly with the ones that he had for Roman and Patton and Logan. 

Because even as they cuddled and kissed and embraced each other, he could still feel _his_ mismatched eyes piercing the back of his head. One a deep brown, and the other molten gold, glowing brightly against the darkness he shrouded himself in. His curls mussed under his hat. His cape fluttering slightly in the nonexistent breeze for dramatic effect. 

God, it was _maddening_. Even though he had tried so hard to despise him, to shove him away, he just kept coming back. Somehow he had wormed his way into Virgil’s heart, and now he couldn’t imagine a life without their constant banter, the endless back-and-forth of their conversations. And now that they were closer, there was something inside him that wanted more. Wanted to wrap his arms around him and never let go. Wanted to kiss him roughly and reduce him to a flushed, stuttering mess. Wanted to curl up in his lap and rant for hours as his hands carded through Virgil’s hair. 

And it wasn’t just because Janus was literally the hottest thing he had ever seen. 

This was more. This was every single fiber of his being yearning, longing, wanting Janus, wanting that snakelike scoundrel so badly it almost _hurt_. He wanted to be closer and closer and just enjoy the strange half-warmth he radiated. Wanted to run his hands along his smooth scales. Wanted to feel those subtle fangs biting his lip gently. Wanted to kiss him for all he was worth. 

His breath hitched. 

Oh fuck, he was in love, wasn’t he?

And further contemplating only proved this further. _God_ , he had fallen so hard, and he didn’t know if he had the strength to, or even _wanted_ to, get up. 

But of course he couldn’t just walk up to Janus and say, “Oh hi, I’ve been in love with you for months, can I kiss you?” No, that would be disastrous. There was absolutely _no_ chance of Janus returning his feelings. Why would he? Virgil was needy, boring, and highly unlikable. Plus, he had abandoned him all those years ago. 

No, it was much better to watch him from afar, and dream and ponder and wish but not touch. Never touch. 

**~here’s another POV change whoop de do~**  
  
  
Logan was not an expert on feelings.

Actually, that was a huge understatement. He was the brain, logos, logic. Emotions were messy and usually illogical.

But for some reason, he had them. 

Naturally, he had repressed them at first. It was only logical, he had reasoned at the time. Feelings weren’t logical. He was logic. So they must be errors.

But eventually, he had opened up. Revealed his emotions, leaving him vulnerable for the whole world to see. Let those three little words that had been worrying at the back of his throat for years now spill from his lips. 

And he had to say, the outcome was more than satisfactory. 

He found himself surrounded by three wonderful boyfriends. Carding a hand through Patton’s hair, sitting on Roman’s lap, gripping Virgil’s hand and kissing him softly. His boyfriends had shown him that it was ok to express his feelings. 

But he still wasn’t sure why he felt this way about Janus. 

It was quite similar to what he felt around Patton, Virgil, and Roman, actually. A yearning, almost. A desire to be closer and closer, to wrap his arms around the snakelike side and never let go, to lean into his warmth and kiss him softly, to smile and ‘cuddle’(Logan was fairly sure that was the word Patton had used) up to him. 

It was odd, almost. Janus was not a part of their relationship, and he had expressed no desire to be. 

And yet Logan loved him. 

This was irrational. He couldn’t assume that Janus felt the same way, and so his feelings were invalid. But they didn’t go away. 

Logan didn’t think they ever would.

**~somEBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME-~**   
  


Sometimes Patton’s feelings were confusing. 

As Thomas’s heart, he was constantly bombarded with emotion, so much of it that it was literally impossible to make sense of it all. He knew he loved his boyfriends, and Thomas. He cared for Janus, Remus, and even Orange. Usually he was joyful, but he had the occasional bad day. And that was fine. He was fine.

But then there was that odd warm feeling he felt in his chest whenever he talked to a certain snake boy. He blamed it on moral confusion. He was still getting used to the embodiment of deceit himself having a seat at the discussion table. 

But lately it had seemed like... more than that. Yes, he loved Janus as a friend, but that didn’t explain why he flushed whenever they got close. Why he stuttered when Janus smirked and complimented him. Why he had a stupid smile on his face after Janus’s hand had accidentally brushed his. 

Patton relaxed on his bed, gripping his stuffed cat tightly. It was time to do some soul-searching, as he liked to call it. Logan had pointed out that this was a ridiculous name, as your soul was still figuratively inside your body until the day you died, but Patton had ignored him. 

He realized that his thoughts had gotten off track and refocused on the matter at hand: Janus. 

Why did he feel this way?

It was sort of a warmth, in a way. Like a soft fuzzy blanket that made him blush and grin whenever Janus complimented him or laughed at his dad jokes or even just talked to him. It was sort of like how he felt around Logan or Roman or Virgil. 

But it was also more. A _wanting_ , in a way. Something in him yearned to be closer to Janus. To card a hand through his hair and let him curl up in his lap and cuddle him closer and stroke his scales and maybe even press a soft kiss to his forehead. 

His eyes widened.

_Of course._

He was in love with Janus. 

It was quite obvious, really. He was actually surprised he hadn’t figured it out sooner.

He sat up, a smile crossing his features. 

There was only one way he could ever act on these emotions. 

And he would have to be completely and utterly honest. 

He smiled softly and went to go find his boyfriends.

  
**~**

Janus rubbed his eyes, wondering if he was dreaming. 

Because Patton has just asked him to come to his room. “Nothing bad!” He had been reassured. “I just wanna talk.”

With a shaky hand, he opened the door and was met by four sets of eyes. 

“Hey Jay!” Patton greeted, smiling softly.

“What did you need?” His voice was clipped, with a small waver. “Sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt you...”

“You weren’t interrupting anything.” Logan reassured. 

“In fact, that was what we wanted to talk to you about.” Roman added, his signature flashy grin splitting his face.

Janus’s eyes widened. “...what?”

“We’ve become aware of a feeling that we all have towards you.” Logan stayed simply. 

“One we all share.” Virgil added. 

Janus blinked. “What do you mean? You’re all together! You’re happy!” He snapped, a tear threatening to spill down his cheek. “I don’t need to intrude, and I don’t want to.”

“Liar.” Surprisingly, Virgil was the one who spoke, hopping off the bed and approaching Janus slowly. “Jan, you don’t need to hide from us.”

“We trust you.” Roman added. 

Janus swallowed. “...Aren’t you all happy without me?”

“What we’ve been meaning to say, Janus, is that you mean a lot to us.” Patton interjected. 

“You’re smart.” Logan added.

“And kind of... charming or whatever...” Virgil mumbled. 

“Not to mention super fucking hot!” Roman piped in, smirking at Janus’s red face. 

“We all love you, Jay.” Patton smiled softly.

Janus couldn’t believe it. He blinked once, then twice. 

A small sob escaped his lips and he wrapped his arms tightly around Patton, burying his head into the crook of his neck. “Am I dreaming?” His voice was raspy.

A musical laugh escaped Roman’s lips as two pairs of arms wrapped themselves around Janus. “I’m afraid not, Lies and Dolls.” 

Janus pulled away, a small smile splitting his features. Eventually he opened his mouth to say those four terrifying words that had been worrying at the back of his throat for years now.

“...I love you too.”


	77. Reflection(Janus-centeric Loceit)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The notes are in the actual oneshot because it wouldn’t let me link the tweet here :(

**TW: angst, swearing, nightmares, blood, cutting/self harm mentions, Janus is really fucking depressed, bad writing.**

**and don’t expect frequent updates**

**inspired by a[conversation/argument](https://twitter.com/ErinTeaNTravel/status/1284691420331364358?s=20) about whether Janus was better than Logan(he is) with [@/ErinTeaNTravel on Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/ErinTeaNTravel) **

**she’s freaking awesome and I consider her my mom so go check her out**

It’s a wonder Janus can even see.

He’s surrounded by a pitch-black cloud of shame and horror and fear and _weak_ and _weak_ and _weak_. Out of his control, an ungloved hand reaches out and brushes the fog. It’s so thick and wet and heavy that it feels like he’s sticking his arm into a giant vat of tar. He flinches. 

He knows he needs to move, get out before the darkness closes in, spreading over him like a layer of cotton, a blanket of night, tendrils creeping in from under the bed, the closet door swinging open and the ropes and chains shackling him, pinning him down, trapping him, suffocating him, _drowning_ him. 

His feet suddenly obey him and he’s bolting, running away from this ominous cloud that’s fogging his senses. It feels like he’s moving through Jello. In slow motion his legs move back and forth in a futile attempt to propel the snake away from his worst nightmare but it’s too late, he can feel it closing in. How did it move so fast while Janus was stuck here, feet almost pinned to the ground, arms pinwheeling in reverse to keep him from tripping, falling, letting this beast get to him.

He tries to scream, but nobody can hear.

And then he sees phantom hands, so similar to his own that it’s terrifying, glowing a dim gold sheen against the pure blackness of his surroundings, gripping, yellow gloves grabbing at his clothes, his cape, his own color betraying him. And suddenly it’s so much darker than he could ever imagine, the blackness surrounding him, engulfing him, swallowing him.

It’s almost as if the darkness is alive. 

He only has a moment to flinch backwards and open his mouth to scream before it melts away into something far less sinister and threatening, somethings he’s seen hundreds, probably thousands of times before. 

A mirror.

For some reason his heart is pounding and panic jolts through him as he stares at his reflection, the scales spreading across his face and the piercing gold of his eye and the six arms that hang from his torso. He hears a rumbling, loud bass thumping to the beat of his heart, working triple time to convey his anger, shame, guilt, _fear_.

Janus was afraid of his own reflection. 

His cunning little mind points out every little thing, vision tunneling to the flaws. The tears trickling from his eyes. The way his hair curled. How short he was compared to the others. How thin and small and _broken_ he was.

The bruises and scars on his wrists. 

His hand clenched and suddenly red-hot anger spilled through his veins, red spreading across his vision. A balled fist raised and suddenly there was a loud smash and shards of glass and bloody scars criss-crossing his palm. He relished in the sting of pain, so familiar to him by now. 

_Shit_. 

There was another mirror behind the one he had shattered. 

Tears rolled down his cheeks and a scream of rage left him, hands curling into fists as he smashed his hands into mirror after mirror, the sound of shattering glass ringing endlessly through his ears, choked sobs escaping his dry, cracked lips. And all he could see was shards and shatters and _himself himself himself_ , the lying, deceiving, manipulative, conniving, evil embodiment of deceit himself, lies, sins, _flaws_. 

With one hand raised to smash the last mirror...

He stopped. 

And for a nanosecond he thought he saw _him_ , his savior, his love(although he was sure his feelings would never be reciprocated. After all, who could love a liar?), a flash of navy blue and black and the ever-so-faint glint of a styling pair of Warby Parker’s. For a nanosecond he’s filled with joy and love and hope hope hope, so warm, wrapping around him like a soft blanket, but not hot enough to burn, never enough to burn. 

And then Janus was tumbling backwards and falling falling falling down down down, so fast and far and _dark_ and _cold_ and _terrifying_ and _lonely_.

He wakes up, jolting up into a sitting position, sweat covering his treacherous scaled face in a thick sheen, a scream ripped from his throat, breathing and panting hard, tears streaming down his face. 

For a moment he thinks he feels him, warm against the constant cold of his room, shivering and leaning into his warmth. Soft arms wrapping around him and the brush of lips against his forehead. 

He reaches out, his voice raspy. “...Logan?”

And then the illusion breaks and he is cold cold cold scared scared scared _alone_. 

_Janus was alone._

...Sometimes he wanted them to hear his screams, his terrified voice ringing through the darkness of the night, his raspy calls for _him_. But he knows they won’t. They never did and they never will. 

He turned over, curled into a ball, and sobbed himself to sleep once more.


	78. Gloves(Janus angst)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is more Janus angst. 
> 
> What can I say? I AM the CEO 
> 
> Janus can’t lie without his gloves, right?
> 
> Well, I wonder what on EARTH would happen if his gloves were to disappear while he was talking to the other sides?
> 
> TW: Swearing, crying, prank gone wrong, Roman’s not trying to be an asshole but whoops it just happened, bad writing

It was supposed to be a harmless prank. 

At least, that’s what Roman told himself. 

He had been mad. Mad at Janus for comparing him to his brother. Mad at Thomas and Patton for siding with him. Mad at Virgil, for being too much of a chicken to show face. 

Mad at himself, for not being good enough. 

He supposed that it _had_ been a little cruel, looking back on it. It had been only a couple of days since April 30th, and Lee and Mary Lee’s first appearance since the disaster that was April 13th. 

Janus had been wrong. Thomas did gain something from choosing the wedding. Even if it was only a couple of hours of Kingdom Hearts with two of his best friends and some(albeit delicious) mamosas. 

And yet, Patton and Thomas still loved _him_ more than _Roman_. 

Roman, his ~~hero~~ ~~prince~~ ~~creativity~~ _enemy_. 

And he still saw flashes of _him_ whenever he looked in the mirror. A silver streak in his hair or a splash of nauseatingly bright green on his princely outfit or sometimes even a mustache. 

Yeah. It would’ve been a fair statement to say that he was bitter. 

Even so, he didn’t mean for this to happen. After all, how was he supposed to know that making Janus’s gloves and hat disappear(just so he could see what he looked like without them and maybeeeee take a few blackmail photos) would lead to _this?_

He had gone red-faced when Janus had the _audacity_ to make a dad joke. One that made Patton stifle a laugh, no less!

And so he had waved his hand and made his gloves dissolve, smirking at the shocked look at the snake’s face.

What Roman hadn’t been anticipating was for him to immediately freeze, his voice cracking and his eyes wide. 

“What was that, Mis-lie-gon?” He smirked, drenching his surprise in the same brazen attitude as his nemesis. 

“…I should go.” His voice was surprisingly soft and raspy, free of that smooth, sarcastic air he seemed to always have. 

Until now, that is. 

“And why is that, Snakespere?”

“I didn’t know you had snake scales on your left hand as well as your face.” Thomas stared at his former enemy’s left arm. 

“Yeah, I hate them too.”

**~Janus’s POV~**

The words fell from his mouth easily, without him meaning to let the truth slip. He had been so careful as to always wear his gloves around the other sides. 

After all, who was he if he couldn’t lie?

His eyes widened once he realized what he had said. He backed away slightly. “Um… I-I should really go-”

Without his armor of lies, he was vulnerable. Weak(-er than usual). Out in the open. 

A tiny snake, cornered. 

“…did you just say that you hated your scales?” Virgil’s voice was confused. “I-I thought that you said that you liked being different. Liked being Deceit.”

“Well, maybe I don’t.”

Janus once again cursed himself for being so goddamn _stupid_. He was like a dam. Once one drop leaked through, there was no escaping the inevitable collapse, the rush of water, a raging flood leaving nothing but death and destruction in its path.

He tried to force himself to slap a hand over his mouth but he couldn’t, couldn’t stop himself from breaking down, every ability he had once had to decive the others gone. And the flood was coming. 

“Maybe I didn’t want to be repressed. Maybe I didn’t want to be the very embodiment of something Thomas considered evil.” A dry laugh escaped Janus’s throat. “Did you ever think about that?”

“Janus-” Patton started but he wasn’t in control of himself any more, unable to stop the rush of emotions and fears and truth. God, he was such a fucking _idiot_. Why hadn’t he been stronger?

Why was he so **_weak_**?

“Goddamnit, I didn’t want this.” He felt tears prick the corners of his eyes and they widened. “I just wanted you to listen to me. Wanted to be here for you. Wanted so desperately to be seen, to be wanted, to be _loved_. And I know I don’t deserve it, I know I’m not good, I’m not good for you, any of you!” He nearly choked on his words. “I impersonate you. I manipulate you. I lie and deceive and cheat because that’s who I’m supposed to be, right? I’m supposed to be the opposite of morality. The opposite of good. So why can’t I just do it right?! Why can’t I do one thing right, in my stupid, miserable life?!”

He could see that they were blown away by the truth and he winced inwardly. “God, I’m so sorry, I didn’t want you to know this because I’m such a fucking burden, I’m so weak, I’m not worthy of love, but I still want it and doesn’t that make me evil, if nothing else?”

Tears were streaming down his face now. He tried so desperately to make his hands obey him, but he was frozen, words spilling unbridled out of his mouth, complete and utter truth falling and hitting the floor below him like so many raindrops, a downpour, a _waterfall_ of truths. He sunk deeper and deeper into the ocean he was creating, digging his own grave, knowing the others would condemn him. 

“And it’s so fucking _hard_ when I can’t even trust myself, I’m trapped and no one can hear me, and every single day I feel like I’m drowning, over and over and over again. I want to scream but nobody can hear me, and even though I know I deserve the pain of dying over and over and over again, I don’t want it, but even then I’m not strong enough.” 

He swallowed thickly, his face wet with tears, his eyes wide when he realized that he couldn’t stop himself from telling them everything. Janus was painfully aware of their eyes boring into him, staring at him, piercing his soul, stripping him down to his basest components, just a tiny, scared snake who’s too weak and scared to slither out of the grass. 

“I’m so weak, I can’t even stop my own pain- but no one can know that, no one can know how _weak_ I am, because who will listen to me then? I’m trying to be a mighty cobra, but deep down…” he choked on his words, a sob escaping his lips. “I’m just a scared little snake.”

And finally, _finally_ his arm obeyed him and he was slapping his hand over his own mouth, eyes wide because _shit,_ it was too late, they had seen him and they knew him now, the real him, the one he tried so hard to swath in layers and layers of falsehoods and half-truths. 

Janus hated his true self. 

Tears fell to the ground and he was unable to stop them. He saw Roman open his mouth and then close it again, his eyes wide. In fact, everyone around him was staring at him, obviously shocked into silence. 

Thomas opened his mouth to speak. 

A white-hot bolt of fear jolted Janus’s body and on instinct, he summoned all of his arms and curled his hands into fists, watching as he forced the other sides to slap a hand over their mouths, effectively silencing him. 

His eyes widened as he fully registered what he had done. Logan was trying to pry the hand from his mouth, and Patton was crying, fat tears streaming down his cheeks. 

Even when he was acting on instinct, he was a monster. 

“I’m sorry.” He managed to choke out, his eyes filled with shame and horror. _As if that could change anything._ He told himself. _Pathetic. Monster. **Weak**. _

And he sunk out to his room, his door slamming shut as he fell to the ground, curling up in a ball and sobbing.

_What have I_ done _?_


	79. Insufferable(Demus)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Requested by @/CallMeJustice14 on Twitter
> 
> TW: swearing, Remus eating inedible things, food mentions, making out.

Janus was relaxing on the couch and rereading _Lord of the Flies_ when Remus tackled him. 

This was a common occurrence, and Janus was surprised that he wasn’t used to it by now. He let out a very dignified squeak as he toppled to the side and his book tumbled to the floor.

“…well, this was totally expected.”

Remus grinned up at him, gripping him tightly. He attempted to lick Janus’s wrist but Janus bared his teeth at him and he reluctantly stopped. 

“Why do you smell like Oxi-Clean?”

“I was hungry.” he replied, snuggling into the deceptive side, apparently content with his position. 

Deceit sighed and pushed him away a little. Remus whined. “Nooooooooooo…. come on, _Ja-anus_ , let me cuddle.”

“I told you not to call me that.”

“You’re just mad that I’m not fu-”

Janus silenced him with a peck on the lips, pulling them upright and pushing Remus off his lap. Remus whined into the kiss and pulled him closer, pushing him into the couch cushions like he always did, gripping his collar and making Janus’s toes curl. 

He sighed in content and disconnected the kiss, pushing him away slightly and grabbing his book. “You’re _insufferable_. You made me lose my page, you little shit.”

“Didn’t you just read that like a month ago?”

“You ate my copy of _Beyond Good and Evil_ , I had no choice.” Janus responded tartly, flipping through the pages to try and find where he left off. 

“You’re so boring!” Remus complained, falling backwards into the couch cushions and tearing one open. “Just read one of those awesome kinky smutty fanfics that our loving fans write. Oooh, I wonder if you could hypnotize me? How fun would that be?”

“Why would I do that if I can experience the real thing?” Janus narrowed his eyes at Remus, looking up. “And no, that was not an invitation.”

Remus stopped eating pillow feathers like popcorn just to grab Janus’s book and set it on fire, then yeet it out a window he had just summoned for plot convenience. A few cars exploded in the background. 

Janus blinked. “…bitch.”

“Some-body come get-errrrr!” Remus warbled. Janus rolled his eyes, smiling softly. He leaned into him, his eyes fluttering closed. 

Remus picked up one of his ungloved hands(he never wore gloves when he was reading, it was too difficult to turn the pages) and kissed the fingers experimentally. Janus froze, his face approximately the shade of a _capsicum annuum_ (Logan wasn’t the only one who was well-versed in plant life).

Remus smirked and licked his palm. 

The spell broke and Janus rolled his eyes, yanking his hand away. “You’re disgusting.”

“Aww, I’m blushing! Feel how hot my face is!” 

“Please stop setting your hair on fire.”

“Never.”

And then Remus pulled Janus’s lips to his and they were kissing, Janus’s eyes open in surprise for a mere second before he reciprocated, leaning into him. Remus moaned in delight and pulled him closer, yanking at his cape. Janus’s hat fell to the ground but he couldn’t find it in himself to care, kissing Remus for all he was worth, nipping at his bottom lip, their lips moving in sync. Remus’s tongue ran across his and he let out a dignified whine, pressing closer, letting Remus pull him into his lap, wrapping his legs around his torso, a mess of lips and limbs and feeling spreading like wildfire through him, his toes curling in his socks. Sparks leaped up his spine to the back of his neck, jumping inch by inch, vertebrae by vertebrae, vein by vein, warmth and ecstasy pouring through him as he basked in Remus’s feeling, his burning passion, his every move. 

When he broke away he relished in the sight of Remus’s swollen lips and messy hair. 

“Like I said. Insufferable.” He managed to breathe out, hiding a smile. 

Remus grinned. “Only for you.”


	80. Talk to Me(Moceit)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for a bunch of prompt fills I'm doing on tumblr and twitter, expect a lot of updates soon lmao
> 
> Moceit with Prompt 8
> 
> requested by @/Mad4him_76 on Twitter
> 
> "I don't...i've never...been in a relationship and i'm going to make mistakes...I just need you to tell me. I need you to talk to me."
> 
> TW: crying, swearing, kissing, pining, Janus is kind of depressed? 
> 
> Word count: 1151

Janus shouldn’t have fallen so easily. 

He was supposed to be _self-preservation_. Impenetrable. Freestanding. Protective. Selfish. 

But then why did he care about how Patton looked at him? Why did he flush whenever their eyes met? Why did he try to sit next to him every movie night? Why did he find himself watching him instead of the other sides, instead of Thomas, instead of _himself_? 

_Love | noun_

_Definition of love (Entry 1 of 2)_

_1a(1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties_

His breath hitched when they were close, when their palms brushed. Why would he suddenly do anything to see that smile, that beaming grin that crossed his face, real, sincere, _loving_. 

Everything Janus wasn’t. 

His palms dug into his forehead. 

He cannot love Patton. He has to take care of himself, and more importantly, Thomas. 

But _fuck_ , he wants to. He wants to hold Patton tight and never let go. He wants to grip his hand. He wants to see that smile, every minute of every day of every week of every year for the rest of his life. He wants to pull him into a dance, lead him in a waltz around the kitchen until they’re both breathless and red-faced and laughing and grinning. And then he wants to frame Patton’s head in his hands and kiss him softly, shower him with all the love and kindness and caring that he deserves. 

But he can’t do that. No. It wouldn’t be good for Thomas. Or Patton, for that matter. 

Janus had always known that he was different from the other sides. 

He was manipulative. Cunning. Deceptive. A liar. 

And while most of those things weren’t inherently negative, Janus was. 

He was supposed to be alone. How could he help Thomas if there were others, poking fun at him, making him talk, making him take off his armor of lies and half-truths, make him show his real self? Just a tiny garden snake, trying to be a mighty cobra. 

He would just mess everything up. 

And so he distanced himself. He locked himself in his room, claiming that he was working, taking a self-care day, planning, scheming. 

But then Patton knocked on his door. 

And… Janus couldn’t bring himself to refuse him. 

“Hey, Jan!” Patton chirped when Janus opened the door. That beautiful beaming smile was shining… directed at _him_ for once. 

Janus forced himself to look nonchalant, a tight-lipped smile crossing his face. “Hey, Pat. What do you need? I’m kind of busy at the moment.”

Inwardly he cursed himself for sounding so dismissive.

“Well, I just haven’t seen you in a while! You’re spending more time in your room working than Logan. I wanted to check on you!” Patton let himself in. 

Janus blinked. Had he really been in his room for that long?

“I’m fine. Just working.” He cursed his voice for cracking at the sight of Patton looking at him, concerned.

“Janus. …remember, you don’t need to lie to me…”

“I’m not.”

“Then why aren’t you coming downstairs more often? I haven’t seen you at all lately.” Patton sighed. “I know I haven’t been… kind to you in the past… and I’m trying to change. For the better. I’m trying to learn to stop being so strict. But I still worry about you, Janus.”

There was something about the way his name rolled off of Patton’s tongue, the way the way he said it without fear, without contempt, without hatred that made Janus crack. 

He sighed. “I just… I don’t know if I’m good for you. I’m manipulative. I’m immoral. I’m literally the embodiment of lies. And while some level of deception in a person is good….” he winced. “Sometimes I think I’m overdoing it. I haven’t been part of a real family in years. I don’t know how much I’ll fuck it up if I try.”

“Janus.” He looked up, and Patton’s eyes were hard with determination. For a moment he worried that he’d said something wrong, that he’d made Patton want to ignore him, want to hate him like he did before. 

Instead Patton pulled him into a hug. 

He stiffened before leaning into it, his face beet-red, his eyes watering with tears, his arms slowly snaking around Patton’s torso. He was so _warm_ , such a contrast to the odd snakelike half-warmth he radiated. 

“Janus.” Patton said fiercely. “I’m one-hundred percent sure that we need you. Thomas needs you. _I_ need you. You are essential to Thomas’s well-being. I don’t know if I could ever understand what you’ve been through, or how hard it is to trust me, but I’m willing to wait however long it may take to let you into our family.”

“But that’s the problem!” Janus pushed away suddenly, his face stained with tears. “I can’t let myself get too close to you! I’m not good for you! I’ll just hurt you like I did Virgil! I’m terrible at caring about other people, but suddenly I care about you more than anyone else, and I don’t know what to do with myself! I can’t-” a sob fell from his throat. “I can’t love you.” 

Patton stood there, shell-shocked. Janus turned away, wiping the tears from his face. 

“…why not?”

“What?”

“Why can’t you love me?” 

“I’m not good for you! I’m-” his breath hitched and he curled up on his bed, burying his head in his hands. “I’m afraid. I’m afraid that I’ll hurt you like I did Virgil. I’m afraid that I’ll mess up and harm you… if I did hurt you like that, I don’t know how I could live with it.”

“You could never hurt me, Jay.”

“Lie.”

“No.” Patton gripped his hand, leaning down to meet his eyes and cup his cheek. “I promise you could never hurt me like that.”

He pressed a soft kiss to Janus’s forehead. “Because I love you.”

Janus let out a loud, broken sob and wrapped Patton up in a hug, burying his head into his chest, curling into him. Patton carded a hand through his hair and he just felt so _warm_ , like Patton was a shield, like he could protect him, like, somehow, he could never hurt him. 

“I don’t… I’ve never…been in a relationship and I’m going to make mistakes…I just need you to tell me. I need you to talk to me.” He whispered, tears running down his face as he met Patton’s eyes, those deep brown eyes that gazed at him and seemed to pierce his very soul. 

“I will. Janus, I promise I will always talk to you. I’ll tell you anything and everything. I’ll be there for you and take care of you. I swear.” Patton murmured into his ear, holding him tightly. 

Janus swallowed thickly, cupping Patton’s cheek. 

“Then… I love you too.”

Their lips met.


	81. Crumpled-up Paper(Moxiety)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by @/loveliness_2 on Twitter. 
> 
> TW: kissing, crying, swearing.

Virgil rolled over in bed, trying his best not to think about Patton. 

Not to think about that one strand of hair that never stayed brushed downwards. Not to think about the way his cardigan always fell out of place. Not to think about the way his blue eyes lit up when he laughed or how he never missed the chance to make a pun or the way that beautiful shining bubbly grin seemed to pierce Virgil’s very soul and make him flush red and grin right back and want to grab his arm right then and there and kiss him until the sun went away. 

He groaned in frustration and turned over, burying his head into his pillow. Why did he have to fall in love with Patton? His best friend. His pop star. His favorite person in the world. 

Why was the world so cruel as to make him love someone who would never love him back?

Virgil was gross. Boring. Needy. He had panic attacks all the time and cried even more frequently. He bothered everyone with his unneeded worries and anxiety. And on top of that, he had been diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder and needed prescribed antidepressants during the darker winter months. 

He was a train wreck. 

Who could love _him_? 

He sighed when he realized that it was 3:30 AM. 

A thought struck him. 

_If these feelings won’t go away, wouldn’t it be best to at least make sense of them?_

He got out of bed and went over to his desk, flipping on the light and grabbing his notebook. 

His favorite pen rested comfortably in his hand. 

He began to write. 

_I love Patton because…_

_His smile. His laugh. The way he takes care of everyone and makes us smile. The way he hugs me and cuddles me and holds me close when no one else will._

And soon he had paragraphs and paragraphs, the entire front and back of a sheet of paper, covered in a messy scrawl of purple pen, detailing why and how he loved Patton, why he needed him, why he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. 

He looked at it, dropping his pen onto his desk. 

_…this is trash._

He felt tears come to his eyes and wiped them away, crumpling up the sheet of paper in a fit of anger and throwing it at the wall behind him. 

_I can’t do anything right._

He crawled back into his bed and fell asleep, silent tears dripping from his cheeks. 

-Timeskip || Patton’s POV-

Patton uncrumpled the paper curiously. A small voice nagging at him told him that he shouldn’t, but he ignored it. 

His eyes widened as he took in the first line. 

“I love Patton because…”

It was almost like an essay, going to exquisite detail about the way he smiled and the way he laughed and the way he took care of others and the way he loved without question. He was halfway through reading it when Virgil stirred in the bed next to him. 

His eyes flickered open. “…Pat?”

”Virgil.” Patton breathed. “I’m sorry... I read this, I shouldn’t have-“

Virgil’s eyes widened and he flinched, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. “Shit... God, Patton, I’m so sorry, I know you could never feel the same way-“

Patton cupped his cheek, eyes wide, brushing a tear away. 

“Virgil?”

“Yes…?”

“Can I kiss you?” 

His eyes widened and for a moment Patton was afraid he’d done something wrong, that he took what was left of their fraying bond and shattered it into a million pieces. 

“Please.” Virgil whispered instead. 

Ever so slowly, Patton leaned closer, his eyes slipping shut. 

Virgil met him halfway. 

It was the greatest thing Patton had ever felt. Unexplainable warmth blossoming at his lips and moving in slow waves to the rest of his body, traveling around him and _through_ him. His lips moved gently against Virgil’s, feeling the smoothness of the touch. His hand flitted to Virgil’s jacket and pulled him ever so slightly closer, smiling into the kiss when Virgil’s hands found his hips. Ever so gently, he nipped at his bottom lip, sort of afraid that he would break him but knowing deep down that he was strong, he was resilient, and that was among the countless reasons why Patton loved him. 

Patton was at least 90% sure(or was it 85%? He wasn’t good with numbers.) that he was actually glowing. How else could he explain how his heart felt, as if it was on fire, a warm flame caressing his body, traveling through where his lips touched Virgil’s, and that just made him happier. 

Achingly, he pulled away. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that for.”

“Me too.” Virgil breathed, cuddling into him. “I know that now is a great time for sentiment and all of that touchy-feely stuff, but if you don’t kiss me again right now I’m going to lose my shit.”

A musical laugh escaped Patton’s lips and he pulled him in again. 


	82. “Ssssssshut up.”(Demus)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: swearing, hissing, Remus being himself, throwing chairs at people. 
> 
> Inspired by @/thefingergunsgirl on tumblr

It was a well-known fact that Janus despised physical contact. 

He would bare his teeth at you if you even came close to him. He hit Roman with a chair for so much as brushing his shoulder and threatened to throw Logan down the stairs for accidentally bumping into him. He also hissed loudly at Patton when he attempted to hug him(the hissing fight between him and Virgil that occurred afterwards lasted for at least two hours and ended with Janus becoming so frustrated that he forced Virgil to slap a hand over his mouth. Virgil claimed that this wasn’t a sincere victory but then Janus pointed out that he was literally the embodiment of deceit and the anxious side relented.).

So when Remus appeared randomly one day and bet Roman thirty bucks that Janus would catch him in his arms if he ran straight at him, everyone was fully expecting Janus to hiss loudly and, at the very least, yeet him out a window. 

Instead, when Remus barreled at inhumane speeds towards the snakelike side and tackled him on the couch, Janus instinctively latched onto him and wrapped his arms around his waist. They proceeded to relax on the couch, Remus shuffling to spoon Janus and Janus curling up in his lap. 

“Holy shit.” Roman breathed. 

“How did you do it?!” Virgil demanded. “He threatened to push me down the fucking stairs!”

Janus just smirked and stuck out his tongue at them, curling closer to Remus and leaning back into his warmth. 

Logan blinked. “Did you just _purr_?” 

“Sssssssshut up.”

“Did you know that deer use the corpses of their dead family members as their own personal sauna?” Remus rambled, pulling Janus closer. 

“Hmm… interesting. And I told you not to lick my ear.”

“You know you love it, JayJay.”

“I will encase you in concrete. Don’t test me.”

“That’s be fun! It’ll suck all of the moisture from my body and I’ll die slowly while encased in burning heat.” His eyes lit up. “Hey, do you think I could shove some wet concrete up my a-“

“Ssssshut up and cuddle me, you disgusting trash bastard.”

To say the least, Roman became thirty bucks poorer.


	83. Dukexiety Week Day 1 || Halloween

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy so I’m doing dukexiety week on tumblr and I’m gonna post a oneshot each day for the next week :)
> 
> TW: Swearing, sexual innuendos(because Remus), kind of suggestive(again because Remus), fake blood/bones/gore, God’s name in vain, heated kissing

**For[@dukexietyweek](https://tmblr.co/mvRPeXGmo-Xd8vgnw6WMMUQ) on tumblr :)**

Virgil and Remus almost never agreed.

It was a given, Virgil supposed. He was the embodiment of anxiety, after all. And Remus was just… himself. There was no other way to describe him. Spewing morbid facts and disgusting suggestions at random intervals, tackling and attacking other sides with his Morningstar without warning, extremely persistent with his repulsive contributions… that was what the Duke did best.

But contrary to popular belief, Virgil didn’t despise Remus. Sure, they clashed in almost every way possible, but if they somehow happened to share a passion or opinion… they were nearly unstoppable.

Case in point: Halloween.

Near the end of October, the other sides made a point to avoid Virgil and Remus. Why?

They were inseparable when their favorite time of year rolled around. Pranks were inevitable.

It was common for a side to wake up and find that their walls had been painted black and splattered with green and purple. Or that they were surrounded by fake bones and blood. Or that all of their clothes were completely covered in Jell-o.

Remus and Virgil would be watching from afar, snickering as Janus swore and hissed in shock, Logan let out a muffled groan of annoyance into his pillow, and Roman threatened to take them both down ‘for the sake of all that was light and good’.

(They didn’t prank Patton. They had some level of sympathy.)

It was hilarious. And they didn’t stop there.

Often the other sides would enter the common room only to see flickering candles, carved pumpkins, skeletons, fake spiders and real bats. The loud thumping of bass and the distinct melody of “House of Memories” or “I Write Sins Not Tragedies” or “Mama” echoed throughout the mindscape.

Oh, yeah. That was another thing that they both enjoyed: unnecessarily loud emo music.

“Oh, God, they’re multiplying! I can’t handle two emos in this Thomasphere!” Roman wailed, covering his ears. Remus smirked and threw some (slimy?) neon green confetti at him. “Deal with it, Prince not-so-charming.”

“Great nickname, totally original. I’m sure it took you ages to come up with that one.” Roman retorted.

“Please, Princey, leave the sarcasm to me and Janus.” Virgil drawled, turning up the music. “It isn’t a good look on you.”

Roman sputtered. “What do you mean? Everything is a good look for me!”

“Mmm. Keep telling yourself that.” Janus rolled his eyes, gliding into the kitchen and grabbing a bowl and a box of Rasin Bran.

“Don’t even try, full-of-shit-cago. You have no sense of style.”

“Oh, and it’s not like my middle name is Classy or anything.” Janus examined his gloves and poured his cereal at the same time.

Roman blinked, taken aback. “It is?”

“It isn’t.” Remus and Virgil said at the same time.

This banter continued for an unspecified period of time, until Patton eventually got sad and everyone instantly stopped to comfort their Pop Star.

A few hours later, Virgil was standing unsteadily on a ladder propped against the wall, carefully stringing up little orange pumpkin-shaped fluorescent lights. He was almost done.

That is, he would be if he hadn’t stumbled and fallen off the ladder. A small squeak escaped his lips as he fell backwards towards the ground, his eyes widening in terror.

A pair of strong arms caught him at the last second, mere feet from the ground. Virgil’s eyes were squeezed shut and he was still braced for impact.

Slowly his eyes blinked open to meet those deep brown ones he’d recognize anywhere, swirling with feeling and recklessness and attitude and so much more personality than Virgil would ever have.

Was it weird that he could recognize Remus’s gaze anywhere?

His face flushed when he realized how close together they were. Remus smirked and helped him stand up. “Careful, Brendon Urine.”

Virgil blinked, hissing at the nickname. “Insult the absolute God that is Brendon Urie one more time and I swear on my life you’ll never live to see another day.”

“Wanna bet?” Remus leered.

Virgil’s eyes darkened and Remus quickly backtracked. “I’m kidding! It was a compliment anyway. And where’s the ‘thank you for saving my fine ass, oh so benevolent Duke? I shall dedicate all my remaining days to repay the sacrifice you underwent in my honor.”

Virgil blinked. “…did you just say I had a fine ass?”

Remus ignored him and leaned in closer, a smirk crossing his face. “Of course, there are… other ways you could repay me.”

“I’m not gonna fuck you, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“You’re no fun.” Remus grumbled. “But I was gonna ask, do you wanna have matching Halloween costumes?”

Virgil blinked. “Really?”

“Hey, you do owe me. Plus we can piss off Roman.”

That was a pretty convincing offer.

“…one condition.”

“Mhm?”

“I get to choose for both of us.”

Remus groaned exaggeratingly. “Bor-ing! You won’t even add any penises.” He grumbled, crossing his arms like a bratty toddler.

Virgil rolled his eyes. “I was gonna say we dress up as Lydia and Beetlejuice, but you do you I guess.”

Remus’s eyes lit up. “Nevermind! Not boring!”

•Timeskip || A day or so later•

Virgil walked around the stool Remus was standing on, holding a tape measure and a clipboard.

“Why do you need to do this again?” Remus asked. “Not that I’m complaining. Just wish you would touch my ass more.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, smiling fondly. “I need to measure you so I can make your beetlejuice suit the right size.”

“Well, will you measure my ass with your dick?”

“Hard pass.”

“Ha. Hard.”

Virgil finished measuring his arm length and scribbled something in his notebook. He began to measure up Remus’s torso.

“How do you know this?”

“Huh?”

“How do you know how to make clothes like this?”

Virgil blinked. “Uhhh… mostly practice, I guess. I made my hoodie and my shirt, as well as my logo. It’s pretty easy once you get the hang of it.”

“It’s really cool.”

Virgil snorted. “I’m pretty sure you’re the only one who thinks that being able to make suits and dresses is cool, Remus.”

“OOOH! Could you make me a onesie with a little flap that I can unbutton if I wanna flash everyone?”

“Maybe some other time.”

A few minutes later, he finished measuring the proportions for most of the suit jacket and pants. All that was left was the tie and the collar.

“M’ gonna need you to get off the stool for a bit.” Virgil said, scribbling more into his notes.

Remus obeyed surprisingly quickly, hopping to the floor next to Virgil. When they stood next to each other they were nearly equal in height, Remus standing only a half-inch or so above Virgil. The anxious side walked up to him, raising the tape measure to wrap gently around the column of his neck.

Both of their faces were unnecessarily warm for some reason.

Swallowing thickly, Virgil pulled Remus closer. He didn’t need to close the small distance between them by any means… but the Duke felt warm and comforting for some reason.

He felt the urge to brush a wayward strand of hair off of Remus’s face.

And they were standing there, looking deep into each other’s eyes, Virgil cupping the Duke’s cheek, lips mere inches away from each other.

Just a few centimeters and they would be kissing.

And…. Virgil really wanted that. He wanted to kiss Remus. His eyes widened at the realization.

He just pulled him a little closer, eyes flicking to the intrusive side’s lips.

His lips parted. Virgil pulled on the measuring tape around his neck ever-so slightly.

He half-expected himself to close the gap. He was about to.

“Oooh, yes, choke me daddy!” Remus moaned exaggeratingly instead.

Virgil snapped out of it and pushed him away, repressing a snort. “Ok, fuck you.”

“Please do!”

He rolled his eyes, still blushing bright red, and sunk out to his room, notebook and measuring tape in hand.

•Timeskip || That night•

Virgil finished pinning the fabric into place, smoothing it out with his hands. He let out a small sigh. He usually listened to music while he was working, but he didn’t want to tonight.

It reminded him of Remus.

Everything he did seemed to. The spider curtains in the corner, the little bat lights hanging from his ceiling, the deodorant on his dresser, the black and white stripes on the material he was using, the way the needle moved in and out of the fabric, even the tiny black buttons he was sewing onto the cufflinks. His face warmed at the memory of Remus’s cheek in his palm, of his hand brushing the hair out of the Duke’s face, of their lips mere inches away from each other.

He returned to the task at hand but now everything was warmer, a small smile curling across his face. He imagined what it would feel like for their lips to finally connect, to move in perfect sync against each other, to drift across the pale expanse of his perfect skin, to press soft kisses into his hair-

Virgil’s breath hitched.

Oh, fuck, he had fallen for Remus, hadn’t he?

•Timeskip || Halloween Night•

~Remus’s POV~

Remus was making Thomas consider the antonomy of the squid reproductive system when his door swung open. He dropped down from the ceiling fan to see Virgil wearing a black, lacey, frilly dress, bright red lipstick, eyeliner, and mascara. His jaw dropped. “Holy shit.”

Virgil flushed. “Shut up. You know I don’t respond well to compliments. Just put this on.” He handed Remus a pinstriped suit and a green tie.

“Damn, emo. You’re even better at craftsmanship than I thought. M’ still waiting on that onesie though.”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Just get changed. And in the bathroom, trash bastard man.”

“Kinky.” Remus leered.

He frowned. “How is that- never mind. I don’t want to know.” His face was bright red and Remus relished in the fact that he had reduced Virgil to a blushing mess.

Against his choice, he changed in the bathroom, finding that the suit fit him perfectly. It wasn’t really a surprise at this point. He took a moment to touch up his makeup before opening the door.

It was Virgil’s turn to gawk.

Remus smirked, sauntering over to him and maybe twerking a little. Virgil flushed even more at that, his face a bright red. “Hey Virge.”

“Y-yeah?” Both were gay panicking.

Remus leaned in, cupping his cheek. “You’re the Lydia to my Beetlejuice.”

“…so you’re a crazy demon who’s trying to become human by marrying an innocent teenage girl?”

Remus’s eyebrows wriggled. “Hey folks! Begging your pardon! Scuse’ me! Sorry to barge in-”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“No, actually. I’d like to think that I’m sexier.”

“Damn right.” Virgil muttered under his breath.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Remus cupped Virgil’s cheek, enticed by his dark brown eyes, so smooth and deep and beautiful. And for once he was completely silent, just letting the feelings he had usually locked in his heart and sealed with oil and thorns and tar and barbed wire seep through the cracks and burst to life, coursing through his veins like fire, making him warm from head to toe.

And he leaned in and connected their lips.

Instantly his eyes widened and he backed away, breathing hard, eyes wild. “Sorry! Sorry-”

Virgil grabbed him by the tie and pulled him back in, kissing him for all he was worth. Remus whined in delight, reciprocating instantly, kissing him with a fiery passion he didn’t know he had. His hand went to Virgil’s hair, grasping the strands tightly, holding onto Virgil as if he’d never let go. He could taste Virgil’s lipstick slightly, and he knew that he’d just ruined the anxious side’s makeup, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care, kissing him harder. He was completely and utterly enraptured by the feeling of Virgil’s lips on his, moving in sync. They were a frenzy of lips and limbs moving against each other, gripping at clothing and hair and cupping cheeks. And Remus could feel the years upon years of repressed feelings, love and joy and anticipation, pouring into the kiss, this simple action of touching his lips to Virgil’s. The anxious side was nowhere and everywhere at once, his lips barely brushing Remus’s one second and his teeth nipping at Remus’s bottom lip the next. And Remus was pretty sure he could die happy in that moment, kissing Virgil for all he was worth, pulling him closer, passionately and ferociously showering him with love.

“Hey, are you two- MY EYES!!!” Roman screeched, stopping in shock as he walked into Remus’s room.

Virgil pushed Remus away, his face bright red. Remus flipped Roman off and pulled him back in again.

Roman backed out without question. “…Ohhhhhh-kay then.” He closed the door behind him.

It was a few minutes later when Virgil pulled away for air, his lips swollen, breathing hard. “God, Remus, I’ve wanted to do that for so long…”

“…me too.” He admitted, his grin almost too big for his face. He pulled Virgil into a tight hug and the emo buried his face in his chest.

…He could get used to this.

BONUS:

Roman walked into the kitchen, still scarred. “Are they coming?” Logan asked expectantly.

Roman just sat down, shaking slightly. “I just walked in on Lydia and Beetlejuice making out.”

To his surprise, Patton groaned. “Dang it!” He reaches into his pocket and fished out a twenty-dollar bill, handing it to the snakelike side. Janus smirked and pocketed it.

Roman blinked. “…you knew this would happen?”

“You didn’t?” Logan countered, not looking up from his book.

“You’re so fucking oblivious, Gays and Dolls.” Janus added, smirking at Patton.

“I thought Virgil would hold out another week.” Patton mumbled into a pillow.

“They’re both impulsive idiots. It was obvious, really.” Janus replied, examining his gloves. Roman took a moment to wonder what was so interesting about his gloves. They looked normal to him.

“Next up is you and Logan.” Janus added, looking up.

Roman flushed instantly, backing away. Logan dropped his book, pointing at the pair, his eyes panicked. “No- no no no-”

Patton burst into laughter and whispered something in Janus’s ear. Roman faintly heard lock and closet.

…He was screwed.


	84. Dukexiety Week Day 2 || Fairytales

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was probably the most challenging for me to write shdbsb but here you go! 
> 
> TW: swearing, lava, crying, violence, blood, disintegration, knives/blades/weapons, kissing, excessive shattering of the fourth wall, more tw’s at the end(they contain spoilers, read if you dare)
> 
> For @dukexietyweek on tumblr

  
  
  
“Why the fuck did I agree to this?” Virgil grumbled, fingers worrying slightly at the hilt of his dagger. 

“Because you loveee meeeee.” Remus smirked, turning around just to wink at him. 

“That’s beside the point.” Virgil muttered. “What the hell are you gaining out of this?”

“Gold. Jewels. Riches. The chance to fuck a dragon.”

“And?” Virgil raised an eyebrow. 

“Roman bet me fifty bucks that I couldn’t get in and out without being burned to a crisp.”

“Ah. I see." 

Their conversation was cut short by Remus shushing him, crouching down suddenly. Virgil fell into place behind him, peering through a crack in the bush they were hiding behind. He couldn’t help but gape. 

In front of them was a huge circular chasm, so deep that Virgil could barely see the bottom and so vast and far across that he had to squint to see the other side. What he did see, though, was the lava pouring unnaturally slowly from a hole in the side of the chasm down to the bottom, bubbling and burning so hot that Virgil could feel it from where he was resting. In the middle of the chasm was a huge platform, rising from the void. And of course, atop the platform was a huge castle, almost as big as the one in the nearest kingdom. It looked ancient and burned to a crisp, all black, thin walls and tall, spindly towers. Connecting the island to the mainland was a small, rickety rope bridge that looked like it was going to collapse any second. 

He had only one thing to say. 

”…this looks suspiciously like the dragon’s castle from Shrek.“

"Stop breaking the fourth wall, dickwad.” Remus hissed, not taking his eyes off the castle. He grinned. “It’s this way.”

Virgil sighed. “After this, you owe me some of Janus’s chamomile tea.”

“Deal.”

He huffed, gripped his dagger, and resigned himself to following his fiancé into a dragon’s lair in the middle of the night. 

Getting across the bridge was fairly easy. Remus noticed Virgil’s hesitation to go onto the rickety ropes and instantly scooped him up and brought them across, ignoring the squeak that emitted from his throat and his insistence that ‘I can walk across this bridge myself, Reem. Albeit it be a very unstable bridge across a giant chasm of lava and falling would mean death.” Before he knew it, he was standing on somewhat stable land again. 

“You smell like sweat.” He grumbled, letting him go and falling to the ground. 

“Yep! I wonder how much money I could make if I turned the scent of my sweat into cologne.” He paused as if he was thinking. That was never a good sign. 

“You’d make nothing. Trust me.” Virgil muttered. 

“I’ll have you know—”

Remus was cut off by a loud roar that sounded dangerously close. Instinctively Virgil gripped his fiancé’s shirt and yanked him behind a pillar. 

“Hey! I—”

“Shhhhh.” Virgil hissed, his ears straining. 

_Thump. Thump._

“Shit.” Virgil whispered, peering around the column. Instantly he knew that they were screwed. 

How did one beat a five-ton bright-red fire-breathing dragon with a Morningstar, a dagger, and a Remus?

The dragon decided that that moment was a great moment to glance up. Its giant amber eyes widened as it saw Virgil. 

“Run!” Virgil shouted, once again shoving Remus out of the way and leaping after him. A huge roar shook the ground and a blast of fire nearly singed the tips of Virgil’s fingers as the dragon obliterated the place where him and Remus had just been hiding. 

Remus scrambled to his feet, pulling Virgil up beside him. In an instant he was grinning wildly, letting go of Virgil’s hand in favor of gripping his Morningstar. “Hey bitch!”

The dragon barely had time to react before its shoulderblade and Remus’s Morningstar had an unfortunate greeting. 

It let out a loud roar, of annoyance more than pain. Remus, the lunatic he was, roared back. He then proceeded to bash his Morningstar into every exposed bit of scales that he found find. 

“Idiot.” Virgil hissed, gripping his dagger. He didn’t know how he could help other than dashing in while the monster was distracted and slashing at its tail. 

Of course, the blade glanced off its scales like they were made of steel. 

Invincible scales. Got it. Virgil huffed, retreating. He fell into step behind Remus, who was frowning at the dragon. 

“My Morningstar isn’t doing anything!” He complained, dodging a swipe from its tail. “You’re no fun!”

“Still curious about that gold now, dipshit?”

“Shut up.”

Virgil leaped aside to avoid a swipe from its tail. “Why did I agree to this?”

“I told you, because you lo—”

“Look out!” Virgil yelped, quickly jumping out of the way of a fireball. 

“Did you know that dragon piss tastes like—”

“Shut up and fight, dipshit!” Virgil hissed, slashing at the dragon’s wing. Surprisingly, Remus complied. 

The world became a blur of the clash of iron against claws and scales. No matter how hard Virgil tried, he couldn’t make a dent in its scales. Remus leaped in again and again, bashing the dragon’s head in with his Morningstar every time, but soon it became clear that he was tiring. They were both panting hard after ten minutes, and now it wasn’t a fight to kill, but a fight to survive. 

And they were losing. 

Try as he might, Virgil couldn’t do anything against the dragon’s immense power. He was slowing, his thrusts and feints becoming sloppy. 

He barely noticed when the dragon reared up, a glint of triumph in its eyes. But he did notice the claw that swiped at his face. 

He moved a second too late, nearly frozen in place, trapped by his own limbs. 

Something— no, some _one_ shoved him out of the way just in time. His eyes widened and he turned around. 

“… _no_.”

Remus smiled weakly at him, trembling slightly. His arms wrapped around his stomach. “It’s ok, Stormcloud. I’m fine.”

“No… no you’re not. God, you absolute moron.” Virgil choked, feeling tears come to his eyes. He peeled Remus’s arm off of his chest and almost collapsed from his new light-headedness. 

There was a deep, bleeding gash across his entire torso. “Fuck, no, please Remus! God, I’m so sorry—”

Remus smiled weakly, his legs shaking so much that they gave out. Virgil caught him before he fell to the floor. “I love you.”

Virgil could actually feel his heart slowing in his chest and only then did he notice the sheer amount of crimson blood that was pooling at their feet. “No! Not like this, I can’t lose you—”

Remus silenced him with a soft kiss, the normal passion he had slipping away. “I’m sorry.” He breathed. His eyes slipped shut. 

He went limp in Virgil’s arms. 

Virgil wasn’t quite sure what happened next. It was like something had clicked inside of him. Some invisible switch was flicked. 

Burning, white-hot rage bubbled inside of his chest and flowed through him, like a dam had broken. It filled him with a searing heat, brighter and hotter then the lava at the bottom of the chasm that surrounded him. A choked sob escaped his lips and he saw red. 

Virgil stood up and, with a cry of hatred and anger and sorrow and grief ripped painfully from his chest, he let the burning, flickering inferno that had settled in his chest loose. 

Almost on instinct he charged at the dragon, sobs ripped from his throat. He raised a hand and felt something surge inside him, something he had never felt before. 

“You killed Remus.” He whispered. 

And suddenly, a crack of thunder almost burst his ears. His palm glowed and a bolt of white-hot lightning, hotter and fiercer and more powerful than anything he had ever felt, was ripped from his palm and struck the dragon with all of the force of his hatred and sadness and grief. 

Virgil didn’t remember much after that, only that the dragon had disintegrated from the sheer force of the lightning that had somehow come from him. All he could remember was collapsing next to his dead fiancé and sobbing, cradling him. “No…. no, please, Remus…”

A tear rolled down his cheek and he choked, cupping his cheek, gripping his half-warm body tightly. “I’m so sorry…” he whispered. 

The tear dripped from his cheekbone onto his lover’s still chest, soaking into his torn tunic, crusted from dry blood. 

And suddenly there was a soft glow emitting ever-so-slightly from his chest. Virgil stiffened as he watched the deep gash stitch itself together. Blood melted back into liquid form and flowed from his chest back into the cut. For lack of a better word, it was turning back time, melding his skin back together. 

Moments later, the once-scarred and bloody skin on Remus’s chest was as smooth as a newborn’s bottom(Virgil let out a choked sob, Remus would have loved that analogy). Virgil placed a hand gently on his chest and jolted at the feeling of movement. 

Remus’s heart was beating. 

He watched in astonishment, wondering why the fuck his tears healed fatal injuries all of a sudden before deciding that that was a dilemma for another time. 

Remus’s eyes fluttered open. “…Virgil?” He rasped, straining to crane his neck. 

“Remus!” Virgil choked, all but tackling him and gripping him tightly, vowing to never let him go.

He hacked. “M-my lungs—” he choked. 

Virgil loosed his grip ever so slightly. “I thought I had lost you.” He glared at him. “You fucking moron. Why did you dive _at_ the dragon?”

“…Some people are worth burning for.”

“Damn, the author is really laying on the Disney references today.” Virgil muttered. 

“You can’t get rid of me.” Remus grinned weakly. 

“I wouldn’t want to.”

Ever so slowly, their lips met. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: major character death
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!


	85. Dukexiety Week Day Three || Pirates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On this ship, we take prisoners.
> 
> Remus learned that the hard way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “On this ship, we take prisoners.”
> 
> Note that all my knowledge of pirates is from the Pirates of the Carribian ride in Disneyland. This is probably super inaccurate lmao. 
> 
> The title is supposed to be funny? Ish? It’s sort of like the ‘we take no prisoners’ thing? But the opposite? I’ll let myself out. 
> 
> Tw: swearing, good crying, pirates, sword fighting, violence, blood, sexual innuendos, suggestive, Remus(yes, he does need a warning), almost drowning, near death, death mentions

Virgil was still asleep when the shouting started. 

He jolted at the sound of yelling and immediately hopped out of his bed, gripping his rapier and shouldering the door open. The full moon shined surprisingly brightly on the huge ship that had pulled alongside the _Stormcloud’s Honor_ ** ~~(yes I know I’m uncreative let’s move on)~~**. The swishing of ropes could be heard and, milliseconds later, the sharp clash of metal on metal. Out of the corner of his eye, Virgil saw someone swinging from a rope and heard the _thump_ of his boots hitting the deck. Moments later he saw Roman charging at the intruder with a loud battle cry of, “Stay back, fiend!”

Virgil rolled his eyes at his overdramatic friend and whipped his rapier through the air, lashing out at another pirate. The sharp hiss of the blade was second nature to him by now. Assuming his stance, he turned to meet his opponent. 

It was a familiar blur, the rush of battle something that Virgil had dealt with his entire life. Feinting and swiping with calculated expertise, he drove his opponent back and forced him to retreat back to the other ship, leaving him only with a few painful slashes on his legs and upper arms. Given a moment to rest, he quickly glanced around and assessed the positions of the rest of his crew. 

Roman was, as always, in the thick of things, his bright golden broadsword a mere blur as he slashed at his opponents. Janus was in a corner, facing two enemies with nothing but his two long daggers. Virgil knew he’d be able to hold his ground, so his eyes flicked to Logan on the upper deck. He seemed fine, armed with his bow and sniping the enemy from above. 

Virgil didn’t get a chance to check on Patton before he heard the telltale clacking of rushed footsteps. He whipped around and raised his rapier to block a swipe from his new opponent. For a moment he caught his eyes and nearly froze. 

_Holy shit, I’m gay._

This pirate’s eyes were the brightest, most vibrant green he had ever seen. They seemed to pierce Virgil’s very soul. His cocky grin and mustache only added to the effect. 

He snapped out of it, hissing slightly as he slashed his sword to block a swipe from this guy’s- was that a Morningstar? He didn’t have time to ponder, leaping forward and feinting to the left before swiping at his legs. His opponent jumped out of the way, bringing his Morningstar down on Virgil’s head. He barely jumped out of the way on time. 

Letting out a growl, he thrusted forward, diving towards his weak spot. Again he avoided the attack, and Virgil’s world became a blur of thrusts and feints, slashed and parries, jaunts and stabs. 

Until his opponent’s eyes went wide and he teetered backwards, letting out a shriek as he toppled over the deck railing and down towards the sea below. 

Without thinking, Virgil reached out with his free hand and gripped his former opponent’s wrist tightly. 

And he was standing there, panting, red-faced, eyes wide, clinging and holding an enemy’s wrist for dear life, his grip the only thing preventing him from falling into the deadly sea below. 

Dropping his rapier, he gripped his arm with two hands. His limbs straining, he heaved the pirate onto the deck with a loud grunt. The both collapsed, breathing hard, all but exhausted. 

It was only then that Virgil realized that the enemy ship was gone. 

He cursed, trying to stumble to his feet, but he couldn’t. He realized that he was still holding his former enemy’s hand, gripping him tightly. He flushed uncontrollably. 

Janus wolf-whistled, smirking down at him and sheathing his knives. “Damnnnnn. The emo was so lonely he found another one.”

Virgil flushed harder. “Shut up.” He snapped, trying to pry his hand out of the enemy’s. It was only then that he heard the gravelly voice. 

“Why?”

Virgil blinked when he realized that it came from the man under him. “What?”

“Why would you save me? I’m your enemy. I lost.” His voice was croaky. 

He hesitated before answering. 

“…on this ship we take prisoners.”

His former opponent blinked, his face curling into a crazed smile. 

“Someday that’ll be your downfall.”

**•Timeskip || an hour later•**

“Is he awake?” Virgil asked, sliding his newly-polished rapier into its scabbard. 

Patton looked up, nodding and smiling softly. “He’ll be ok.”

Virgil nodded, trying to look as if he didn’t care. Inwardly he sighed in relief. 

He told himself that it was because he didn’t want to have to deal with a dead body. It wasn’t because this pirate was the hottest snacc he had ever seen. Nope. Not at all. 

Carefully he pushed open the door, glancing up to meet his eyes, then glancing away when he remember that _oh yeah, his eyes make me gayer_. 

“Glad you’re awake.” He said casually, leaning against the doorframe and cursing as it nearly fell over and he almost toppled to the ground. 

The pirate snorted, watching him struggle. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“You’re on my ship.”

“Mhm. And remind me who nearly bashed your head in with a Morningstar?”

“Shut up.” Virgil muttered. “I have some questions for you.”

“And I have some answers. Yes, I am gay. Yes, I will fuck you.”

Virgil blinked, flushing. “I was thinking more of ‘what’s your name’.”

“You’re no fun.” The pirate grumbled. “Just call me the Duke.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow. “I’d prefer your real name.”

“And I’d prefer if your dick was in my ass right now, but looks like we don’t all get what we want, huh, Princess.”

“I’m done trying.” Virgil muttered, exiting. God, that pirat- _the Duke_ was such a horny bastard. Virgil was regretting saving him. 

_He’s kinda hot, though-_

Virgil shook his head, trying to force his brain to stop being so gay. 

It didn’t work. 

**•Timeskip || the next day•**

Virgil opened the door to the Duke’s cabin again, this time holding a bucket and a mop. The Duke looked up, smirking and shimmying. “Change your mind?”

“You wish.” Virgil muttered, setting down the bucket and mop. “While you’re here, you might as well make yourself useful.”

He groaned. “You’re making me clean?”

“You’re our prisoner.” Virgil reminded him. 

“Yeah, and I’m sure everyone keeps prisoners in an unlocked, unguarded cabin with their Morningstar on the floor next to them.”

Virgil flushed. “We don’t have a jail cell-”

“I think you do and you’re just too much of a pussy to lock me up. What’s the matter, Princess…” the Duke leered, smirking and leaning in closer. “Afraid I have a bondage kink?”

His breath smelled suspiciously like deodorant. 

Virgil rolled his eyes and ignored the fact that his face was a bright red. “Just clean, you kinky bastard.”

“I wonder if I could use the mop handle as a dildo.” the Duke mused, reluctantly getting out of bed and picking up the cleaning supplies. 

Virgil relaxed on the deck, aimlessly watching his captive swab the deck. Unbeknownst to him, he let out a sigh that was much too heartfelt for a supposed prisoner. 

“Oh, look. The emo’s in love with the prisoner. What a surprise!”

Virgil flushed, instinctively hissing at Janus. “Shut up. I’m not gonna fall for someone who constantly makes dick jokes.”

“Ha, gay.” Roman snorted.

Virgil blinked. “…Roman, you’re literally sitting in Janus’s lap as we speak.

Roman shrugged, leaning back into his husband’s embrace and twisting the(definitely stolen) golden band on his hand. “Same difference.” 

Virgil rolled his eyes. “As I was saying, I _don’t_ have a crush on him. He actually reminds me a lot of Roman, and God knows I’d never fall for you, princey.”

Roman gasped, offended. “Ex-SCUSE me?! You obviously have _no_ taste then.” 

“All the more reason for you to date Dukey.” Janus smirked. “It’ll be a spring wedding. I’ve already sent out the invitations. Patton’s making a five-tier vanilla cake, and I’m gonna steal two gigantic diamond rings from some pompous high-end-”

Virgil shoved him, blushing. “Shut UP. I don’t even know him that well.”

Roman squinted his eyes at the Duke, quietly murmuring something under his breath. 

“Did you need something, love?” Janus’s attention turned to his husband. 

Roman shook his head. “No…. it’s just.. the Duke. There’s something about him that seems so… _familiar_ to me for some reason. Like I’ve known him for my entire life.”

Virgil frowned. “That’s weird.”

Roman shook his head, shaking away the bewilderment in his gaze. “It’s probably nothing. I’m just being dramatic.”

“As always.” Janus said, kissing his cheek.

“Get a room, you two.” Virgil muttered.

Roman looked him directly in the eye and pulled Janus’s lips to his. They proceeded to aggressively make out. Virgil retched exaggeratingly and went back to his cabin. 

Little did he know that the Duke had heard their entire exchange. He smirked. He was gonna make that sexy emo captain boy fall for him, whether he liked it or not.

**•Timeskip || the next morning•**

Virgil grabbed the thin coil of rope and began to string it up, tying one end to a hook and crossing the deck to make a clothesline. 

“What ya doin, Princess?” The Duke’s now-familiar voice called as he swung dramatically from a rope and dropped on the deck. 

“Please stop calling me that.”

He grinned. “Never.”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Me and Roman are hanging up the laundry.”

“Sounds kinky. I’m in.”

He blinked. “How is-“ The Duke made an obscene gesture and Virgil blanched. “…nevermind, I’ve stopped asking. You actually wanna help?”

“Yep! The Duke grinned, showing off a bright yellow smile. 

“Hmm. Weird.” Virgil muttered. 

Roman soon came over with a tub of wet clothes and handed Virgil some. He slung a soaked tunic over the clothesline and left it to dry. 

The Duke hesitated before doing the same, biting his lip. 

“You ok?” Virgil asked. It was normal for someone to realize something was wrong about someone just by being near them. He wasn’t looking at him. Not at all. 

“Yeah… it’s just, I used to do this with my mom.”

Virgil’s eyes widened. “Oh. …is she…”

The Duke nodded, looking down. Virgil bit his lip. _Well shit._

“She died in a fire. Our cottage got struck by lightening with my mom and my brother inside. I was the only one who escaped.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Virgil saw Roman stiffen. “Wait. What town did you live in?”

He blinked. “What?”

“What town were you in when… you know…”

“Why do you wanna know?” 

Roman met the Duke’s eyes. “Just tell me… _please_.”

The Duke swallowed. “I lived in Bolington.”

“Holy shit.” Roman breathed, dropping the wet skirt he was holding. “Remus?”

“H-how do you know my name?” The duke backed away, his eyes widened. 

“Oh my God, I thought you were dead.”

“What the hell is happening?” Virgil interrupted, looking between them. They ignored him. 

“…wait.” Remus breathed, looking into Roman’s wide brown eyes. “I know you. Holy fuck, are you…”

Roman nodded.

They all but tackled each other then, tears streaming down faces, choked sobs escaping throats. “Oh my God. Oh my God, you’re alive!” Remus blubbered, hugging Roman tightly.

“…I still don’t understand.” Virgil said, completely oblivious and very confused.

Roman didn’t look up, just cried into Remus’s chest. “He’s my fucking brother, you idiot.”

**•Timeskip || A month later•**

Virgil groaned into a pillow. 

“You ok, kiddo?” Patton asked, concerned. 

“Noooooo.”

“What happened?”

“Remus.”

“Oh.” Patton paused, and his grin folded into something mischievous. “Oh, you’re such a gay disaster.”

“What?” Virgil looked up, his hair askew. “No. He’s just… annoying.”

“Annoyingly hot, you mean.”

Virgil flushed. “No, he-”

“Virge, just face it. You’re pining.”

“No, I’m not!”

“Oh? What about those lovestruck glances? How you watch him every day? How you blush when he talks to you? And let’s not forget what happened when he took off his shirt.”

Virgil blushed, the memory fresh in his mind. Remus had announced that it was ‘too damn hot and the sun could go fuck itself’ before ripping his shirt off and throwing it across the deck, exposing his muscled chest. 

His face had been so red Logan had thought he was sick. 

“Who do you think you’re kidding? He’s the earth and heaven to-”

“Roman, I swear to God if you sing _one more word_ I won’t hesitate to steal Remus’s Morningstar and aggressively poke your face with it.”

“Hmph.” Roman grumbled. 

“Don’t threaten my husband.” Janus hissed, flashing a knife before sheathing it. “But in all honesty, I knew you were oblivious… but not _this_ oblivious.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re in love with Remus.” All three said in unison. 

Virgil scoffed. “No, I’m…”

A flashback. 

He was steering the _Stormcloud’s Honor_ across the waves, the wind whipping in his face, the salty air like a slap in the cheek. But he loved it, the cool air stinging his teeth. 

“Do you ever just wanna fuck an octopus?”

Virgil chuckled. “Pretty sure you’re the only one who’s that kinky, Remus.”

“I try.” He has flashed him a grin and Virgil had flushed, caught in those bright green eyes, like that first fateful day when they had sparred on that very same deck. 

Virgil snapped out of it and turned to the sea. He squinted into the distance. “Looks like a storm.”

“Ooh, fun! Lead the way-”

“Don’t-”

“…Princess.”

Virgil groaned in frustration, flushing. 

He would never admit that he kind of liked the nickname. 

Then there was that time when he was up in the crow’s nest, just relaxing and looking. The endless blur of the sea calmed him. It was a constant, something to hold on to in the endless evolving rush of the life of a pirate. 

“That cloud looks like a butthole!”

Virgil jumped, cursing. “Fuck- oh, hi Remus.” 

He grinned, that shit-eating grin that Virgil adored, and climbed the rest of the way up. “Nice shirt.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow. 

“It’d look better on the floor, though.”

He smacked his shoulder, flushing. “Shut up.”

“Make me, daddy.”

“I will push you off this platform.”

“Kinky,” he leered, but he stopped, standing next to him. 

Only a couple of inches away. 

Just a few centimeters and they would be leaning on each other. 

Virgil swallowed. It wasn’t a large distance by any means. Two centimeters. Two miles. Two light-years. 

Still, he leaned into Remus, breathing in his distinct smell. He smiled and slung his arm around Virgil’s torso. 

And holy shit, they might be right.

Virgil’s eyes flicked open. “Oh. _Oh_. Oh fuck, I _am_ in love, aren’t I?!.”

“Really.” Janus drawled. “I’m shocked. Congratulations on being the last to know.”

“Shut up.” Virgil muttered, burying his face in his pillow. “Don’t you see? This is even worse!”

“How so, kiddo? You’ve accepted your feelings, now all you have to do is tell Remus!”

“Tell me what?” Remus asked, sticking his head into the room. 

“Nothing.” They all said in unison. 

Remus glanced at all of them periodically, narrowing his eyes. He pouted. “Why won’t you tell me?”

“…it’s not my place to.” Janus said softly, glancing at Virgil as if he was waiting for something. 

Nothing happened. 

**•Timeskip || A couple of days later•**

_Of course they decided to attack us in the middle of a thunderstorm._

Virgil’s rapier whipped through the air as fast as the wind that was biting his flushed cheeks. He narrowed his eyes and assumed his stance before lashing out. His opponent staggered backwards with a screech, blood dripping from twin slashes on his cheek. He took the opportunity to leap at him and kick at his chest, knocking him over. 

Satisfied with his small victory, he turned around and came face to face with Remus. 

They met each other’s eyes and Virgil was almost lost in their bright green depths before he shook it off, glancing back towards the enemy ship. It was only about ten meters away, but the fog surrounding them was so thick that Virgil could barely see it. The rain felt like tiny daggers digging into his skin. 

Virgil heard a scream and twisted to see that Remus had hit a pirate with his Morningstar so hard that he had flown ten feet and fallen into the raging sea. 

“I thought I told you not to kill anyone if you could help it!” He hissed, backing up and swiping at the enemy. 

“Did you?” Remus flashed him a cocky grin. “Whoops.”

Virgil shook his head in disbelief. “Why do I love you?” He muttered to himself. 

“What was that, Princess?”

“Not important, we’re kind of in the middle of a battle right now, in case you hadn’t noticed!” Virgil hissed, effortlessly slashing two deep cuts into an enemy’s lower leg and watching in satisfaction as he retreated back to his own ship. Remus shrugged and leaped away, probably to introduce some more enemies to his Morningstar. 

And then Virgil felt the cold press of a metal blade against his throat. 

He froze, glancing upward to meet the eyes of the pirate who was about to kill him. He was big and burly, grinning to reveal several gold teeth. An orange sash was wrapped around his waist. The hat on his forehead somehow hadn’t blown away into the sea with the rest of his crew. 

A small growl rumbled in Virgil’s throat. His enemy smirked at him, daring to press the knife further. Virgil shivered at the prick of cold metal against his skin. 

It was only then that he noticed that everything around him was still. 

He dared to glance around and saw Logan, some ten meters away, bow raised and arrow aimed straight at his opponent’s forehead. 

The pirate hissed a curse that would make even Remus flinch when he realized the position he was in. He yanked Virgil closer, holding him by his tunic. His breath reeked. “One move and your beloved captain is dead!” He growled. 

“So are you.” Logan smirked. 

The pirate shut up then, tightening his grip on Virgil. Apparently, he wasn’t going down without a fight. 

And suddenly with a heave Virgil was flying through the air, a scream ripped from his throat. He was silenced in an instant as he hit the water with a large splash.

Instantly the cold engulfed him, waves pulling and pushing him, making him whirlpool through the stormy sea. Fog surrounded him and the wind was _so fucking cold_. He opened his mouth to breathe and it was instantly filled with the sharp tang of saltwater. He coughed and hacked as more and more water filled his mouth, the flash of lightning blinding him. He closed his eyes as he realized that this was how he was going to die. 

It never stopped, the whipping of the burning seawater against his body, yanking him around like a helpless fish that was caught on a hook. Still he fought, arms flailing in a futile attemt to gain any control of himself. 

_This is the end._

Virgil’s strength weaned and his movements slowed. 

And _fuck_ , it hurt. Not only the water crashing over him in wave after wave, each one bigger than the last, surrounding him, engulfing him, _swallowing_ him. Not only the smallest prick of an open cut on his neck, blood seeping out into the saltwater. Not only the ache in his arms and legs and the unbearable pain in his lungs. 

What hurt the most was that Remus would never know how much Virgil loved him. 

He struggled to breathe, inwardly cursing himself for being so stupid. Why didn’t he just say it when he had the chance? Now he’d never see him again, never hold him again, never get lost in his eyes again, never know how his lips would feel on his own. 

Thunder rolled in the background. 

A flash of lightning had him seeing spots. 

He sunk below the surface, his lungs near bursting. 

His eyes fluttered shut. 

A pair of arms wrapped around him. 

And suddenly, he could breathe. 

Gasping for air, he struggled to open his eyes. He clung desperately to whoever had been stupid enough to dive after him. 

His eyes met those crazy green ones, framed with wet hair that whipped in the wind. 

Still coughing and hacking, he struggled to gain his bearings. _**No**. _

_Remus is gonna die with me._

_I’m bringing him down. I’m killing him. My fault my fault my fault._

**_Failure._ **

He tried to let go but Remus gritted his teeth and he had no choice but to cling to him as, somehow, he swam. He swam through the five-meter-high waves and the whirling wind and the crashing thunder and the blinding lightning. 

And then they were somehow _climbing a rope_ , his savior somehow strong enough to swim almost fifteen meters in _the middle of a fucking storm_ and then _climb up a goddamn rope_ , all while supporting the weight of two people. 

And he was collapsed on the deck, wheezing and coughing, tired beyond belief. Through blurry vision he saw Remus. 

Remus, Remus, Remus.

Looking at him with a genuinely concerned face, cupping his cheek, green eyes piercing his soul, forever and always. 

“…why the _fuck_ would you dive after me in the _middle of a goddamn storm_ , you idiot?!” Virgil managed to cough out weakly. 

Remus let out a choked cry of relief and scooped Virgil into a warm embrace. Virgil leaned into him, a grin splitting his face. 

Remus lifted his chin and grinned wildly. “On this ship, we take prisoners.”

Their lips met. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


	86. Dukexiety Week Day 4 || Coffee Shop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Side note: just started watching she-ra and I Spent the entire first season remembering why I love roceit so much)
> 
> TW: food/drink mentions, swearing, sexual innuendos
> 
> For @dukexietyweek On tumblr
> 
> Enjoy!

Virgil bolted out of bed, realizing that it was not in fact seven in the morning but instead eight forty-five.

He swore, grabbing a shirt that looked semi-clean and a pair of black jeans. Pulling on his hoodie, he grabbed a brush and spent about five seconds attempting to tame his purple bangs before giving up and applying his eyeshadow. Stuffing his phone and wallet into his pocket and pulling on a pair of sneakers, he bolted out of his apartment. 

Minutes later he was trying and failing to look inconspicuous as he speedwalked down the street, zipping up his hoodie. He sighed with relief and grabbed his headphones, flipping them over his ears and fiddling with his phone. Moments later the first chord of Teenagers by MCR was ringing in his ears. Suddenly he didn’t care who stared at the wild emo rushing down the street to get to his shift in time and began to mumble the lyrics. 

_Teenagers scare the living shit out of me…_

As the last chords of _Let’s Kill Tonight_ faded away, Virgil pushed open the door to his friend Patton’s coffee shop, cleverly named _A Latte Fun_. His watch read _9:13_. 

He sighed with relief. _Not a minute too soon_.

Reluctantly, he pulled off his headphones and slipped an apron over his head, clipping a tag with his name on it to the chest pocket. At around 9:15, he went over to the counter for his shift, waving at Patton and shooting him a forced grin. 

…yeah, today wasn’t going to be a great day. 

Although making coffee wasn’t hard, it was the fact that he was tired and sad that ate at him. His anxiety didn’t really help, and he ended up taking longer on orders than he usually did. Plus he was super awkward, and got more than one look that made him shrink back into his hoodie slightly. 

The bell on the door ringing after a couple minutes of an empty café made him glance up from Tumblr. Virgil sighed when he realized it was one of his regulars, the one with the odd mustache who always gave him a different, usually inappropriate name to put on his coffee cup. 

He forced a grin. “Welcome to A Latte Fun, what can I get for you?”

The guy smirked, glancing around the empty cafe before winking at him. “I’d like a giant dick, please.”

Virgil sputtered, flushing. “Shut the hell up. What do you actually want?”

“Just a black coffee. Add the souls of the innocent for good measure.”

He sighed. “That will be $2.69. Please wait at the counter for your order.” He barely restrained himself from adding _dipshit_. “Can I have a name?”

“Sugar tits.”

“Lovely.”

He quickly made the coffee, his hands moving almost automatically. He had been making coffee for himself since he was fourteen, and with almost ten years of experience this was nearly second nature to him. He slid the cap onto the cup with a _pop_ and, reluctantly, pulled out a sharpie and wrote _sugar tits_ on the side. 

“Here you go.” Virgil handed the customer his order. He took it and winked. “Thanks, dork.”

However, he did slide an extra dollar into the tip jar on his way to sit down at a small table, so Virgil counted it as a win. 

A few minutes of boredom later he realized that the counter on the other side of the shop needed more cup sleeves. He sighed and slid his phone into his pocket, grabbing some hoodie sleeves and a few extra cups for good measure, then walking over and arranging them in a semi-organized matter. 

That is, he would have if he hadn’t accidentally caught the corner of a loose tile on his toe and stumbled, nearly falling. A small shriek escaped his lips as he almost faceplanted in the tiled floor. 

Just before impact a grimy hand gripped his and pulled him up to a standing position. 

And now, somehow, Virgil was face-to-face with that dipshit of a customer who was looking at him with a concerned(?) face.

“You ok?” He asked, the usual snarkiness of his tone faded away. 

“Never better.” Virgil deadpanned, decidedly ignoring the fact that he was still holding onto the customer’s hand as if his life depended on it. 

And then he made the mistake of meeting his eyes and he was instantly mesmerized, spellbound by the bright green gaze that was meeting his. He swallowed, wondering why he felt like this man’s eyes could pierce his very soul. 

“Say… this is a flattering angle.” That shit-eating grin returned and the spell was broken. 

“Ok, shut up, dickwad.” Virgil muttered, shoving him away and bending down to pick up the cup sleeves that had fallen to the ground. 

“Oh, this view is even better.”

He flushed, daring to glance up and rolling his eyes when he confirmed that yes, he was staring at his ass. “Perv.” He muttered. 

“At least you could have some level of respect for the guy who just saved your pretty skull from getting cracked open on the floor? If I wasn’t here, there would be so much blood and brain juice on these tiles that it would take years to start smelling normal again.”

Virgil decidedly ignored him. However, he was mildly surprised to see that he had knelt down near him and picked up a couple of cups that had rolled out of his grasp.

As they stood up, Virgil held out his hand. “Thanks…. I guess…”

“I’m not done yet.”

Before Virgil could react, he had reached into his pocket and pulled out a pen, swiftly writing something on the coffee cup before handing it to Virgil. “See you tomorrow.” He winked. 

And just like that, he had left. 

Virgil looked down and felt his face warm as he realized that he was holding a cup with his messy scrawl all over it. 

_Remus_

_696-420-7935 **(I made this phone number up)** _

_Come and get me, dickwad._

He realized that his heart sped up at the thought of talking to the customer, Remus, more. 

Virgil froze. 

_Shit._


	87. Chapter 87

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: swearing, dancing, lots and lots of fluff. 
> 
> For @dukexietyweek on tumblr

Virgil was relaxing on the couch when Remus pulled him into a standing position and yanked them into the kitchen. 

“Fuck.” He yelped, grabbing Remus and holding onto his arm for dear life. “What are you doing?”

Remus grinned, that shit-eating grin that Virgil adored, and snapped his fingers. Instantly a couple of speakers were willed into existence, and aggressively loud and out-of-tune guitar chords began to play. 

“Dance with me, emo.”

“Can we have different music?”

“Would you prefer the screeching and wailing of the souls of the dead?”

“Actually, this is fine.”

Remus held Virgil’s hands and spun him around, grinning. Virgil couldn’t help but smile at that, working to steady himself. He gripped Remus’s arm and went along with the movements. In hindsight, it was less of a dance and more of a whirlwind, a tornado of movement and laughter and warmth, pulling him to Remus, twirling them. Remus scooped him up and pulled him to his chest, letting Virgil instinctively latch his legs to his torso and wrap his arms around the Duke’s neck, tucking his head into the crook of his neck as they whirled around the room. 

Sometime as they were spinning the music had quieted slightly, and before Virgil knew it he was standing, arms wrapped tightly around Remus’s hips as they swayed slightly to the rhythm. Remus planted a kiss to his forehead and Virgil smiled, his eyes slipping shut as he leaned into his boyfriend. All he could think about was how much he loved him, loved every single part of his chaotic, crazy lover. 

Remus pulled away slightly. “Virgil. You’re my beautiful boyfriend, my favorite person in the entire world… I love you so much. You changed my life, and I want nothing other than to be with you, by your side…”

Virgil watched curiously, biting his lip in nervousness. Where was this going?

“I love you, every part of you… I-I- oh, fuck it.”

He dropped down to one knee and pulled a small black box out of seemingly nowhere, looking up at his lover. “Virgil Anxiety Sanders, will you marry me?”

Virgil gasped, a hand going to his mouth, heppy tears pricking the corners of his eyes. “Yes!” He almost sobbed, tackling Remus and wrapping his arms around him. “Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!”

Remus’s grin rivaled his as he pulled Virgil into a kiss, chaotic and messy. Virgil instantly reciprocated, every part of him yearning to be by his side. He gripped Remus’s sash and pulled him closer, nipping slightly at his bottom lip. 

Remus pulled away and slid a silver ring onto his finger. 

Virgil smiled wider than he ever had in his entire life.


	88. Dukexiety Week Day 5 || Music

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: swearing, dancing, lots and lots of fluff. 
> 
> For @dukexietyweek on tumblr

Virgil was relaxing on the couch when Remus pulled him into a standing position and yanked them into the kitchen. 

“Fuck.” He yelped, grabbing Remus and holding onto his arm for dear life. “What are you doing?”

Remus grinned, that shit-eating grin that Virgil adored, and snapped his fingers. Instantly a couple of speakers were willed into existence, and aggressively loud and out-of-tune guitar chords began to play. 

“Dance with me, emo.”

“Can we have different music?”

“Would you prefer the screeching and wailing of the souls of the dead?”

“Actually, this is fine.”

Remus held Virgil’s hands and spun him around, grinning. Virgil couldn’t help but smile at that, working to steady himself. He gripped Remus’s arm and went along with the movements. In hindsight, it was less of a dance and more of a whirlwind, a tornado of movement and laughter and warmth, pulling him to Remus, twirling them. Remus scooped him up and pulled him to his chest, letting Virgil instinctively latch his legs to his torso and wrap his arms around the Duke’s neck, tucking his head into the crook of his neck as they whirled around the room. 

Sometime as they were spinning the music had quieted slightly, and before Virgil knew it he was standing, arms wrapped tightly around Remus’s hips as they swayed slightly to the rhythm. Remus planted a kiss to his forehead and Virgil smiled, his eyes slipping shut as he leaned into his boyfriend. All he could think about was how much he loved him, loved every single part of his chaotic, crazy lover. 

Remus pulled away slightly. “Virgil. You’re my beautiful boyfriend, my favorite person in the entire world… I love you so much. You changed my life, and I want nothing other than to be with you, by your side…”

Virgil watched curiously, biting his lip in nervousness. Where was this going?

“I love you, every part of you… I-I- oh, fuck it.”

He dropped down to one knee and pulled a small black box out of seemingly nowhere, looking up at his lover. “Virgil Anxiety Sanders, will you marry me?”

Virgil gasped, a hand going to his mouth, heppy tears pricking the corners of his eyes. “Yes!” He almost sobbed, tackling Remus and wrapping his arms around him. “Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!”

Remus’s grin rivaled his as he pulled Virgil into a kiss, chaotic and messy. Virgil instantly reciprocated, every part of him yearning to be by his side. He gripped Remus’s sash and pulled him closer, nipping slightly at his bottom lip. 

Remus pulled away and slid a silver ring onto his finger. 

Virgil smiled wider than he ever had in his entire life.


	89. whoops

I haven't updated for almost a month now.... I'm really sorry, but I do have an excuse. I just haven't really been able to focus since Thomas announced that the new asides was coming out in late September. Now it's actually late September, and the asides could come out at literally any time. So expect nothing for a week or so, but then like three impulsive uploads the night the asides comes out lmao. 

Another thing is, I've been really into the dream team/dream smp fandom lately, and I just posted a new work on my profile earlier today. It's a fluffy dreamnotfound oneshot so if you like the soft gay then check it out <3

I love you guys and I'm really sorry if I'm disappointing you. 

(Another thing is that I've been working and a new chapter of flames should be out by tomorrow :p )

See you soon!


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